Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I'm a grown woman living in London but I'm obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

God Gave Me You by MJ_Padfoot
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: “Your happily ever after will come, Hermione.” Dad whispered to me one night when I was a little girl. “One day, you will meet him and he will love you. You’ll see. You just need to be patient.”

I never thought it would happen until now.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1124 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/14/11 Updated: 11/21/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This is a sweet story. I'm unfamiliar with the song, but the lyrics at the beginning beautifully segued into the story and I found myself reading them again once I'd finished the story.

First person is a difficult perspective to get right, but I think you've done a great job with Hermione here. She is a character who rather lends herself to the self-analysis and introspection that first person can bring, but through her eyes you also captured Ron rather well.

I noticed a few minor errors

They had invited me but I told them that I couldn’t get work off--which was true. - I think you mean 'couldn;t get time off work' or something similar.

In another place, you've misspelled 'Apparate' - typing 'Apperate'

I did pause a little at Ron saying he'd always liked Hermione since that first day on the train because I tend to think he disliked her rather a lot until the incident with the troll. In fact, their relationship is punctuated with bouts of them absolutely loathing each other. Whilst I agree that their rows could be a cover for true feelings, perhaps a line from Hermione laughingly telling him that they didn't get on for ages, wouldn;t have gone amiss.

I love the last paragraph. I adore the sentiments about marriage and happy ever afters.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Carole! I'm sure that there are a few more errors then the ones that you pointed out. If I ever get the time to go back and fix it, I'll do it. As for the Ron thing, I like to secretly believe that he liked her a litle bit from the start like James and Lily. But that's just me. :) Thank you for such a nice review! Cheers! ~MJ

 

Safe House by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: Pansy Parkinson’s carefree world was toppled when she overheard her father’s murder and caught a glimpse of the killer. Forced into hiding by the Ministry, she is compelled to co-habitate with, of all the bloody people on the planet, Harry Potter. Can these two live together in cramped quarters without there being another murder, or can they find common ground that had eluded them since they last encountered one another?

Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 11041 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/19/11 Updated: 12/06/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/21/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

OOOOH, interestinggggg. Jess, I am so enjoying this story. I know this was for an HP/PP fest which is actually a ship I think .... um ... let's be honest implausible and dumb (eeep), but you're making this plausible. Yeah, you really are. I love Pansy in this ... or rather I love her character. She's such a biyotch especially her snarky remarks about Millicent - ha ha ha. The exchange of clothes was great. I love how Harry really didn't seem to understand her attachment to female clothes - men! *rolls eyes*

One other thing - thank you for giving this a plot. Too many ships are just that - a ship with no rudder and thus no direction drifting with no breeze. Can I get any more metaphors in here? I think not.

Look forward to the rest and the smut version ... heh heh heh. ~Croll~

Author's Response:

Well, my bread and butter is taking ships that shouldn't work and make it happen at least to an extent. I'm not sure if I could fully support this ship, but I do think it's a bit of good fun for Harry to be railed at by a snarky b!tch. Personally, I think he enjoys the feeling of being in charge. :)

Anyway, I'm rambling rather ineffectively, so I'll shut up and get back to writing, hehe. Ta for the read/review!

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/23/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

WHoaaaaa! ha ha ha - YES! Pansy gets her man. And I hate the biyotch - but this is so good and Harry deserves a little bit of ... hmm, I was going to say fun, but actually I mean pure sex and lust.

Brilliant story. This is so much fun. Oh, and I was giggling when she called Hermione a beaver - hee hee.

Best line - She had never experienced this brand of passion before: wanting to hate whilst hating to want.

Fabulous ~Carole~

Author's Response:

It was *so* hard to edit down the smut. It was full of Pansy's snark that it was almost a shame to cull it down. However, for the sake of submission, I had to, even though it was some of the better smut I'd written. I might slap up the uncensored version on LJ so it isn't wasted. :)

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/06/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Helllooooo. Noooo, I don;t want this to end. But actually, it makes sense that it did end there. This has been a joy to read. Pansy was lovely, (well a b1tch but a fab one) and Harry was very IC. Decent plot too. I am guessing you've been trawling SBBC so you'll know my views in real things in the Potterverse. I won;t elaborate, except to say that whilst I found the references amusing, I'm not sure it added much to the story. It did make me giggle though and as passing references (and not the basis for a fic) then I found this quite clever. /annoying peeve of Crolls.

Thank you for a great story. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

The only reason I chucked the TV in there is because of where they were, it's far more likely that Harry could have a TV. Plus, since he was living there as almost an act of escape, it goes without saying that a brainless activity like TV would be something he would need. And as we both know, it's easy to get sucked into ST: TNG, lol. The references to parts of the show were meant to show that, while Pansy didn't enjoy the show, exactly, but she was watching it with him and had bonded with him over something. It was just a tiny nugget to further expand on what happened between the time they arrived and the time she left.

I think my favourite part of this last chapter was when Pansy was confronted by Runcorn and couldn't stop herself from vomiting out cliche lines while trying to give Harry the time to strike.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I was worried that culling the smut would damage the story, but it worked out after all. :D

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOOH, intriguing young, Jessica DiStrange. I like this and can't wait for the next chapter. You've managed to keep Pansy perfectly in character and yet also sympathetic. Good story, too. ~Croll~

Author's Response:

Well, naturally, the smut that had been in this story will have to be edited out, as it's a bit too explicit for MNFF, but once we get past that point, I'll so slip you a copy of the original.

*squishes Croll*

~Jess

 

The Dark Son's Lament by Envy_I_May_Be
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A poem about Draco's feelings about becoming a Death Eater; set during HBP.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 218 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/28/11 Updated: 12/07/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Dark Son's Lament

This poem packs a punch. I have to admit that I'm a bit of a sucker for Draco redemption fics/poetry so am very pleased to have chanced on this today.

You've very cleverly tracked Draco's progression down the dark path that leads him to attempt to kill Dumbledore, and his emotions here come across as very real. There's a good flow to the poem and the early stanzas with the regular rhyming scheme work effortlessly. Having said that, I also liked the change into the choppier style of the latter part of the poem. It seemed indicitive of Draco's emotions at that point when he's crumbling.

I noticed a typo.

Thos eyes, filled with tears

I think you mean 'Those'.

Great poem, well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the positive feedback. I'm very proud of this little gem of mine, and I'm so very glad that you enjoyed it. :)

 

Small Hours by Acacia Carter
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Frank had hoped that his and Alice's first Christmas together would have just a little more hope and cheer than this.

Second Place Winner for the Great Hall-iday Challenge of 2011, for the prompt "Christmas at Ground Zero."



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1871 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/09/11 Updated: 12/11/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This story was recommended to me by Gina (Gmariam) and I was hesitant at first because generally i don;t like sad stories :( and also because i'm trying to write a GH challenge story myself (not this prompt though). However I was very glad I did. This is a joy to read and even though we know things don;t turn out well for Frank and Alice, it still made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I particularly liked the passage where she's telling him she's pregnant and he's thinking of all the things he has to do to keep them safe. Frank is lovely here. He's just a name in the books but you gave him a distinct personality - and Alice, too.

One minor query ... How did she know it was a boy? She can only be two months pregnant, so is it a magical thing the Healers can do. (That's me being interested and not picking fault, btw)

Good luck in the challenge and ... uh ... Welcome to Hufflepuff. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I think I owe half my readership on MNFF to Gina. I'm glad you took her advice. :)

You are correct - in my own personal fanon, I've determined that the simple diagnostic spell that determines whether or not a witch is pregnant can also determine the sex of the baby, as well as its health.

Thanks so much for reading, and I'll have tons of fun hobnobbing with my new badger mates. :D

 

The Fold by welshdevondragon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Before Sirius, there was another Black sheep. Who would have thought she’d bring him back into the fold?

A Christmas Day Story.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Strong Profanity

Word count: 2314 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/11/11 Updated: 12/12/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

OOOH, fabulous, Alex. This is brilliant. I love the twist that it's Bella who is there and listening to him. I was, obviously, expecting Andromeda, but wow - this was superb.

Sorry, this is wildly incoherent, but I literaaly reading with my mouth open. I adore the bits with the cigarette and her crushing the snowball under foot in the grey slush.

Yes, that's it - I love it.

Carole

Author's Response: I don't mind incoherent reviews! Thank you so much Carole :) I'm pleased you enjoyed the twist, and Bella. I do think I enjoy writing Bella maybe a bit too much, but still, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for this lovely review! Alex

 

One And Only by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

You’ll never know

If you never try

To forgive your past

And simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your

Your one and only*

After Tonks’s declaration of love to Remus in the hospital wing, can she win him over, or will his doubts get in the way?

*Lyrics of Adele’s One and Only.

Written for the Ravenclaw Drabble Exchange. My recipient was the lovely Alex/Ithinkrabis2people. I hope you like it :)



Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Strong Profanity

Word count: 1757 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/18/11 Updated: 12/22/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: One And Only

A very credible version of how they got together, Soraya. I like this. It's sort of how I imagine their relationship (I actually have a draught somewhere of a Christmas spent together - ha ha) and you dealt with the very 'adultness' of their relationship very well.

If I have a nit pick (and it's minor and really just my opinion), it's that I can't see Remus swearing much. Tonks, yes, she comes across as very 'earthy', but Remus is generally quite mild mannered. However ... he is in an extraordinary situation, and so I can imagine him using expletives on the odd occasion (Sirius' death is one of them). Um, that's not really a crit, it's just my interpretation.

Good story. Well Done. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

CAROLEEEEEE. Did I mention I love you? Seriously, thank you so much for the review.

This was originally going to be a lot longer, since I wanted to cover the, um, Christmas spent together too, hehe, but then I realised I couldn't because of the word limit of 1500 words, so it had to be pretty short. Thank you for saying I dealt with the adultness of it well -- it's not really something I write about very much, and I'm only a kid, lol.

Hmm, I get what you mean about Remus. I may go back and edit some of that out, though as you said, he was in a difficult situation, with Tonks, but also Dumbledore had just died so he was bound to be rather riled up.

Thank you so much for your review. Staring at that 0 for the past few days has been rather depressing, tbh, so thank you for such a wonderful review. <3

 

A Christmas To Remember by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Scorpius Malfoy and Roxanne Weasley share gumdrops over three Christmas encounters. Eight years later, Roxanne does not remember anything except the gumdrops.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations

Word count: 5464 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/18/11 Updated: 12/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Christmas One-Shot

Thank you for writing a happy ending. Knowing how much you like to kill characters (Don't deny it!) I thought you were going to leave me bereft.

This story is gorgeous and I can taste the gumdrops in my mouth as I drool over your writing.

Really clever idea, but a real shame it doesn;t qualify for the challenge.

I feel all hopeful now, even though this is not my OTP. :p ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Carole! I could have easily made this Scorpius/Lily for you and then it would have qualified, but I couldn't. It would have felt false. I have my doubts about it actually working, since I'm a bit of a closet Scorpius/Albus shipper thanks to Jess (and the fic I wrote for her) but I had to stick with what I originally planned in this case. Of course it was going to have a happy ending. First of all, it's Christmas! And second of all, whilst I do sometimes kill a lot of characters (and definitely like to put them through the romantic ringer for sure), I think more of my stuff is fluff, and only a few fics really truly end badly. I should rectify that, haha. We'll see. Thanks so much for reading this, I really appreciate the review and apologize for the late response! ~Gina :)

 

Summary: Past Featured StoryVictory Day. A day of celebration and remembrance . For Lily, it is also a day of confusion and sadness. She wants to understand in a world that knows no terror. This year, she'll discover exactly what Victory Day means to her.

Winner of the 2012 Next-Gen QSQ Award

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1303 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/22/11 Updated: 12/29/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/29/11 Title: Chapter 1: Victory Day

This is lovely, Maple. You've written such a poignant story and I love the fact that although it's from Lily's POV, you also give a very good view of how all the other people are feeling on that day.

You really manage to convey the depressing atmosphere of that day and yet you give a wonderful sense of hope towards the end when Scorpius turns up. (I ♥ you for that and have forgiven you for killing Lavender ... LOL.)

Beautiful story. Sorry this review cannot do it justice. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it :) -Maple

 

Mistletoe Surprise by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: I couldn't believe I had to chop down the school Christmas tree with Lily Evans. Little did I know she had something else in mind as well...

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2824 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/24/11 Updated: 12/24/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

GAHHHHHHH, LOvely. Wow, if I'm ever in danger of forgetting that you are the Queen of J/L, well here's the evidence. This is fantastic. I love love love that you've written from James' POV. You write him so brilliantly. And then ... wowzers, Lily initiating the kiss. It's just lush and lovely, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Lovely story, Gina. Thank you ~Carole~

 

D by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary:

 

Over fifty brave souls perished during the fight that took down You-Know-Who’s regime. However, not all of the victims of the clash that ended just this morning set foot on the grounds of Hogwarts last night. Numerous family members and friends will be spending these next weeks not celebrating, but planning funerals while raking up the pieces of their lives and wondering where they are supposed to go from here.
 

One boy was lost and alone -- looking for a lifeline, crying for help. But is anyone listening?


This story was nominated for two 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Dark/Angst Story and Best General Story.




Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 2771 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/27/11 Updated: 12/27/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: Dear Harry

AGHHHHHHHHHH! Shit or Sugar if MNFF bleeps that out. despite the fact that I know this song very well, I just shivered all the way through this. You have nailed Dennis here. I, too, think he'd be damaged by the loss of his brother. No idea why, it's just a feeling. *sigh*

You wove this story very well. I mean, i knew it would end badly, but wasn't sure how badly. He killed someone - noooooo. And now I feel sorry for his Dad :(

Really brilliant story, Jess. You captured the song but also the Post-Battle angst so well.

Amazing ~Carole~

Author's Response:

I do feel rotten for killing Dennis. This was different than killing off Teddy; Teddy was an adult who made the choice to put himself in the line of fire and paid dearly for it. Dennis was just a kid who was trying to survive, and the worst that could happen to him did. The true tragedy, at least to me, is that Dennis could've been helped, could've been saved, if someone had actually taken the time to notice not just his loss, but how he was (or rather wasn't) dealing with it. He even did what he needed to do and reach out for help, but he just chose the wrong person in Harry, as Harry tends not to be the observant or commiserative type.

This story is def more effective when one knows the vibes from Stan. It adds an extra, almost sinister, flavour to it, but instead of Dennis being an obsessed fanboy, he directed his grief in a borderline obsessive way. It makes me want to hug him. :/

At any rate, thanks for reading and reviewing. It's not a story one can say they enjoyed, as I didn't particularly enjoy writing it, but it gets its point across. Hearts, Croll of the Dungeon!

~Jess

 

A Splendid Fate by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: One failed photograph, two halved souls, and the numerous, marvellous machinations of destiny.



This story is a multi-functional product of four days' continuous typing and lack of sleep. It serves an entry for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion and a standby Birthday Present for Julia/the opaleye. More importantly, it marks my return to fanfiction after two months' hiatus, because that is kind of inhumanly long.

Thanks to Kara for reading the Prologue and motivating me, and Carole for Chipping-on-the-Wye.

DISCLAIMER: J.K.Rowling, I love you for giving me the HP universe, but you are not me and you definitely did not write this.



Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 14642 Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/15/12 Updated: 01/23/12


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/20/12 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

I've just realised something. I can't actually write at all. This is so beautiful.

The thing is, you've made me really care about Eloise in such a short time. I'm raging for her for not being at Hogwarts where she should be, I feel.

Quite brilliant.

And then at the end, you throw in Dennis and his dad and poor Colin who we know has gone.

This is amazing. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! :D She should be at Hogwarts. But :/

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/20/12 Title: Chapter 2: February 2008

I love Dennis! OOOH, this is so inventive and clever - ha. His manipulation of photos reminds me of my photobucket attempts - mwahahahahahahahaha.

I'm enjoying the periphery details in this. The details of Gemma Davies' sex life made me laugh - ha ha - but poor Eloise getting her satisfaction vicariously. Sympathy ... ahhh ... yes (tell her to take a shower).
,br> Um, minor typo Till date I think you mean 'To date'.

Um, what else, what else shall I say that will get me a SPEW award. Oh, poo, I don't know, just ... this fic is lovely. It's beautifully written, has incredible characterisation, an attention to detail that I'm so envious of, and a plot that is intriguing me.

Quite brilliant, and brilliNAT. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for catching the error! :D It has been changed. :) I'm happy that you're enjoying the story so far.

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/20/12 Title: Chapter 3: March 2008

Brit here .... It's Sheffield, not Sheffields ... but apart from that I have no issue with the geography :)

Oh, now then, there's me thinking that Dennis is lovely and hot and cool, and then you say he's going to do something cruel and I was on edge. I'm not sure what he's done to the photograph, but it must be to do with the nose she accidentally hexed off. (I love the detail that she keeps touching it by the way) OHH! Hold on, ha - reread, his supposed cruelty in his mind is that he's known her all along, but she's not upset by that, but the actual photograph. (Me being a bear of very little brain, but it's late.)

I loved the scene on the beach and her slipping off her cardigan as he took photos. Somehow that really drew me in and I could see the whole scene before me. Oh, and I'm starting to detest Gemma.Smug b1tch with her perfect straight hair and model looks. UGHHHH!

Bring on the next chapter, my love. ~Carole~

P.S. This isn't a pity review, it's a promised review. There's a difference.

Author's Response: AAAARH I KNEW THAT :'( Alex Turner is from Sheffield after all. Why did my fingers betray me? :/ Hahaha! How did I know you'd dislike Gemma? :D About that last part, it shall be revealed what's happening in the next chapter. :) It might not be a very shocking reveal, mind. Lol. And thanks for the review! I know it's a promised one :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/17/12 Title: Chapter 4: The Lost Years

F*ck ...

Just f*ck.

And wow.

And sorry it's taking me until now to read the rest of this.

The back story of Dennis and Colin is incredible, padfootically, this is amazing. I love the fact (well i don't love but think it's GENIUS) that Colin was cracking up and had lost it. Wow. Tell me, was that part of the Amelie story, or was this your complete invention. It doesn't matter because it's just brilliant anyway and opens up so much about the Creeveys especially Dennis decision not to go back to school and cutting himself off from that part of his life. I really like his Dad in this. He's only a brief part but you can see it tears him that Colin has gone and Dennis is now in decline. he must have been torn with wanting Dennis to stay with him but also knowing he had to return to the WW hence giving him the watch. Oh wow.

DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAANNNN!!!! yayayayaya - I love him. Okay, I am totally picturing Alfie Enoch here, but ha ha ha I don;t care, he's gorgeous and so is Dean. and he's with Daph who is one hot ball of sexiness (please finish that story so I may die happy).

OH GODDDDD! Dennis meltdown at the end. Thatw as so sad, The Girl was mortal and silly just like the rest of us :(.

Okies, I must crack on, but I have a pick.

Mr Creevey was also peering at it. “Why, I never saw her in any of Colin’s other photos.” “That’s because she didn’t take any. C’mon, Dean, you ought to-”

That, to me, makes it sound as if Eloise was taking the pictures. I think you need to tweak it so it's clear she didn't want photos taken of her.

OH!!! i loved the Harry and Ron banter. harry's line ablout Ron remembering something from school made me LOL.

OH! (I will go soon). Must mention how well the Muggle world slips into this. I usually hate mentions of Muggle things, but this makes total sense. Dean being cool and having a phone helps - ha ha.

Um, there was something else ... Oh yes. Ha ha ha - I died, DIED I tell you, when Dean slated all the people wanting to be Aurors or teachers. hee hee hee. I love this fic, and I love the way you've written it. I thought it was going to be a love story, and I knew coming from you it would have a twist, but the depth to this is incredible.

~CON~

Author's Response: Thank you for catching the errors! :D I always picture Colin as somebody brave but also frail. His manic enthusiasm and hero-worshipping would build up too much expectations, and when those expectations come crashing down, I think he'd snap. Also, ALFIE ENOCH. No one else can be Dean for me.

The original idea I had for the fic was heavily inspired by Amelie, but most of it was gone by the time I actually started typing this out. I’d say that the way the two characters’ loneliness and inability to relate to others is influenced by the connection between Nino and Amelie; the tragic beginning, the scene with Eloise walking out of the house, and the happy ending, to a certain extent; the epilogue was certainly done keeping in mind the montage that occurs at the end of the movie; the fact that Eloise works as a chef, and Amelia works as a waitress, and Nino’s fascination with discarded passport photos and Dennis’ job as a photographer; finally, Eloise’s quirkiness being reminiscent of Amelie. Apart from those similarities, the ties between the two have been cut off.

I'm glad you enjoyed the moment of humour. I piss myself lol-ing at Ron and Harry's banter, but often find it hard to write. Also, a lot of writers just tend to push everyone into the Aurors department, which is why I try to cover a variety of careers in my Post-Hogwarts fic. Thanks for reading and reviewing, Con! It made me squee!!

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/17/12 Title: Chapter 5: April 2008

If the people of Chipping-on-the-Wye could stomach ever-blooming pansies and inexplicable heat waves, then she was pretty sure they could live with a nose that had mysteriously gone crooked.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

and just as I'm laughing, you do this to me.

Perhaps, she had been trained too well to hear the noise of other people’s lovemaking from afar; the sound of ecstatic moaning coming from the next room was unmistakable. She halted.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The lovebirds you heard were probably Dean and his girlfriend,” Yeah, sorry, we were a bit noisy.

and hahahahahhah - the smut is incredible. OOO-ER!

Sorry, incoherence reigns here. I need to ask a sensible question regarding the opening. I really liked the inventivelness of her talking to Terry - although I understand it's not actually Terry, but part of her ... um ... mind/psyche/subconscious - what have you, so ... why Terry? I loved that part a lot and I'm not questioning the subject choice but I'd love to hear your reasoning behind it.

I said inventive just now. I think this whole story is inventive and fresh and original and I hope it wins :) ~Carole~

Author's Response: The scene with Terry is a mirror of the interview scene. Eloise has shut her past up so resolutely that I imagine she'd find it hard to open up, even to herself. That is why I had her conjuring Terry's image. I also tried to make the parallel clearer with the line "begin at the beginning", which is how Terry started the interview. :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/17/12 Title: Chapter 6: May 2008 - Epilogue

Gemma Davies was at it again, shrieking in ecstasy as though the devil himself was about. Lucky Gemma.

Ahhh. perfect Epilogue. It ties a few things up and yet leaves me thinking about the characters long after I click away from the story. You tied it up well and Gemma had even more sex - YAY! I do like the way you've given other POVs here, so everyone gets an ending of sorts.

Ah, you've taken two characters that I really didn;t think much about before and given them life. Thank you.

Lovely story and now going to favourites so I don't forget it. ~Carole~

Author's Response: <33333333333 for following it to the end and leaving such enthusiastic reviews! It makes me want to continue writing. :) I think I will, after a nap lol. Thanks for all the reviews, love and support!

 

Beyond The Sea by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Escaping the overwhelming revelry of another miserable New Year's Eve, Draco Malfoy finds himself drawn to an old seaside resort from his childhood. He meets an unexpected ally there, and the shore soon becomes his escape from life, a place where he can be free of his past. Little did he know that it would also hold the key to his future.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion Challenge.

Categories: Draco/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 5422 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/16/12 Updated: 01/16/12


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/18/12 Title: Chapter 1: Somewhere, waiting for me

GINAAAAAA! this is so heartwarming. You have really drawn such a lovely picture of Luna and the way she redeems people in her startling innocence and clarity. I'm not keen on Luna fics as a rule, but you really made her much more than the ditz.

I did think he'd have recognised her earlier. In my mind she has a distinctive voice - plus she was held at the Manor (I loved the way she didn't hold that against him) - so I wonder if he should have thought there was something familiar about the voice, even if he couldn't see her face and eyes.

Another minor nit-pick (sorry). A few of the creatures you mentioned should be capitalised - Veela, Hippogryff, Plimpy, and I'd add Mooncalf because it's a creature I think you've invented.

I loved the ending (good call to reclaim your canon card - heh heh). Luna and Draco wouldn;t really have worked, but I love the fact that she was there to give him the nudge to change.

Back to the beginning. Draco's life was so well written. Present tense - I'm struggling atm, but this was effortless. I adored his POV; you caught him so well!

Loved Astoria at the end, but then I adore her anyway. Lovely story ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole!! A belated thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you liked Luna here when you don't often enjoy reading her, that means I did okay by her. I'll have to nip in and change those capitals someday, although I did not invent the mooncalf! As for Draco recognizing her, I see your point (you and Natalie) and maybe someday I'll tweak that too. I didn't really think of it until I was quite a ways into the story and thought I'd found a decent way to address it. I can see how mentioning it earlier would help, but I can also see Draco's guilt keeping him quiet. Or maybe he didn't have much contact with her when she was held there. Maybe his parents shielded him from that. Haha how's that for a coverup? I think I had some half-cocked answer for Natalie as well, lol! Ah well, can't win them all. Am still glad the present tense didn't bug you and that Astoria got me my canon card back. And I thank you once more for the review!! ~Gina :)

 
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