Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

Bleed by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Say you were in love with somebody for years, somebody who just left without telling you why. Say she turned up unexpectedly. What would you do?



This is a sequel to Cut




Disclaimer:

1) This is not J.K.Rowling.

2) I chose Turner's first name after a villain from Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl series, but the character is not entirely based on her.

3) One of Gimli's lines from Return of the King will appear in the last chapter. No, it is not "There's plenty enough for the both of us. May the best dwarf win." Yes, it means I have finished writing the whole story. :)

Categories: Femmeslash Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 10215 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/23/11 Updated: 11/13/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/13/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I know you worried about this, but honestly, this is wonderful. I loved so much about this chapter, but I think my favourite bit has to be when it's raining. Gaaaaaahd, I was so torn. I hated Lakshmi in the previous chapters because of the threat to Maudie (who I love more than life itself), but when Dominique was kissing her and aching for the warmth from the past that had never quite been resolved, I started to like her again remembering her from Cut. Then I went all teary when Dominique said 'Maudie'. You write so well. The emotions were so real and I got completely caught up in the whole story.

You also surprised me because I thought Lakshmi was going to be evil and tell Maudie before Dominique said anything, but she didn;t and I'm pretty sure she wouldn;t have done. Would I have to'ld Maudie? Hmm, not sure. Dominique has far more courage than me, but also more confidence in her relationship, I guess. Perfect characterisation of all three girls. They stood out as real characters and not paperthin fanfiction extras. Infact, all of your characters were done well.

Um, I don't know LOTR that well. Is the Gimli line -'my goodbye-and-good luck kiss'? (hides from elves)

She had loved this girl hard; she had loved her with all her might. She had loved her for being so free, so full of laughter and brightness. She had wanted her so badly, to have her to hold and kiss and make love to every single hour of the day. She was here now with her, and for a moment, everything else seemed so perfunctory, so devoid of life.

My favourite set of lines. I read and reread and my jaw dropped. You're so fricking talented. Gahhhh, I worship you. *ends review in wibbling heap*

~Croll~

Author's Response: Yes! The thing is Dominique is confident of her relationship and even though she falters with Lakshmi (which, I would too, I think, if I were faced with that great a temptation), she knows what is important to her. The LOTR line was "A merry hunt you've led me on" LOL. The original is "A merry hunt you have led us on" heehee. I am happppyy that you loved it. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! <3

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/03/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOOH, Enter Lakshmi ... I'm jealous already! Infact I'm jealous of the author as well, who always manages to write wonderful and normal situations between couples with great finesse. And then she twists her quill with deft assurance and leaves me gasping for more.

I love this. I love Maudie and Dominique. I seriously love Maudie (possibly because she's so untidy and disorganised I can relate to her - LOL). Lakshmi - hmmm, black dress, six inch stilettos, holding a swan and stunning looking. I hate her already.

Seriously fabulous because you make even minor situations sound intriguing and utterly sexy.

~Croll~

Author's Response: I am glad to know people are liking Maudie :D :D I do love her! Also, you spoil me with your compliments. My head will inflate so large one day I might fly off. (Actually, that sounds like a good plan lol.)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/03/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Noiooo, I don;t trust Lakshmiiiii.

Ughhhh. I need chapter three posted very very soon. Oh MY, that opening scene. You just write those small intimate scenes so well. My laptop was smoking - ha ha. Seriously, I love the chemistry between Dominique and Maudie, it's just ... lush, and gorgeous, and beautiful. *sigh*

Lakshmi is intriguing me. She seems to be genuine about her feelings for Dominique ... but is she? I mean, why contact her now? Do I really believe the stories about the Vanished letters? Hmm, not sure. I'm guessing she's hurting, but I'm also far too jealous of her talent and beauty to like her very much. (And now I've just remembered what you wanted to do when you were younger - fashion design - sigh I'm very tactless, but then again, this story is so good that I am jealous, and happy because I like reading it.

FEEENISHHHHHHHHH EEEEEET!

~Croll~

Author's Response: LOL. I love this review. Yes, I wanted to be a fashion designer, and so both Astoria and Lakshmi have the dubious honour of being magical couture people O.o That's the only self-insertion I allow myself to do.As for the rest, we will find out in Ch 3, which will be posted very soon :) Thanks for the review!!!

 

Incorrigible by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: It's Halloween and the Head Boy and Head Girl are stuck in the greenhouses for detention. Will they escape the clutches of the deadly Devil's Snare…or worse, one another?
A lighthearted tale for Halloween, not to be read in the greenhouse.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 6761 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/28/11 Updated: 10/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/31/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Yay - this is lovely, Gina. I really like the idea behind this and your characterisation is spot -on (naturally). James being good at Herbology is a neat twist - we usually get to hear about his brilliance in Transfiguration but that's all, so I really enjoyed that part of the story. (I enjoyed all of it, but that bit was FAB) I was quite surprised at Lily's aversiopn to Herbology, though, because she seemed very into that type of thing as a child (making the flower open and close) and didn;t seem to be the type of girl who hated getting dirty. However, you gave her a plausible reason for being scared of the plants, so it worked here.

I love the exchange when they're trying to think of nice things about each other - hee hee.And the kiss on the neck - wowzers - I had goose-flesh, too.

Great Halloween story that wasn;t at all cliched (YAY to no big prank) ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole, I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was fun fluff so I'm glad I avoided some of the cliches. Good point about Lily but then maybe falling into that plant scared any love of nature out of her, lol. I just really wanted to add a twist to their characterization and give them some contrast as well. I can just picture little James running through him mum's garden, playing with bowtruckles and such, lol. Plus I've used the Transfiguration bit before (and probably will again) so it was nice to be able to really dig into Herbology (haha) Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/31/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Ha ha ha - JUST saw Soraya's review (I read reviews after I've read the story - not before. I was grinning at maths but ... *whispers* Fall instead of autumn?

Oh, and your 'serious' joke had me giggling and NOT rolling my eyes. You very nicely underplayed it. ~Croll~

Author's Response: Did I not respond to this? I thought I did? On LS maybe? Anyway - I changed math/maths (lol!) but I'm leaving in fall just for YOU. :-D And I can't believe you didn't roll your eyes at that. It took me a few tries to get it right, so I'm glad to know I did. Thanks again! ~Gina :)

 

Harry's First Halloween by lucca4
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary:

It's Harry's first Halloween, but the raging thunderstorm prevents an overly eager Lily from taking him out to trick-or-treat. Instead, she, James, and Sirius spend one of their last carefree moments together.


.·ˆ¯)...(¯ˆ·.
¸.·ˆˆˆ(ºvº)ˆˆˆ·.¸
m m

Happy Halloween, MNFF!


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1467 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/31/11 Updated: 11/02/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: 31 October 1980

Awwww, this is lovely. A sweet adorable story about Halloween which is also amusing. A real snapshot fic where you've caught perfectly a certain moment in time - Lovely.

And then it gets all sad :( because you mentioned the next year and what they want to do. I gulped a bit, as I always do when I read James/Lily with Harry stories because it is so tragic that they were murdered.
,br> Thank you for expanding this. I enjoyed it, a lot. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I know, that's why I find it difficult to write Marauder-era so close to their deaths, because it's so much more sad to think that they're at the end of their lives already. The original drabble didn't even reference the next year, but I'm mean and spiteful so I put it in. I'm so happy you enjoyed this, though :). And, as always, thank you for taking the time for leaving a lovely review. <3 xx Ariana

 

Happily Ever After by welshdevondragon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Vivien Nott, Paris and Theodore Nott’s adopted daughter, is at Hogwarts at the same time as Petra and Ernie Macmillan’s son, Augustus Macmillan. They know of each other, but they rarely come into contact. Until an incident in the Quidditch changing rooms leads their lives to become closely entwined.

This is a fairy tale. But, sometimes, fairy tales do happen.

This is a very loose sequel to my Thin Red Lines Series, though it is not part of that series.

Due to the current glitch, I have changed the rating to 3rd-5th years BUT this is a 6th-7th years story, and therefore should be read as such.


Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Non-Consensual Sex, Sexual Situations, Slash, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 6306 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/31/11 Updated: 11/05/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Awww, happy ending! Wow, DeathLex, what has come over you. (I am so nicking that tag from Natalie - ha ha)

Have to admit, at the start of this I was quite uneasy. I hated Vivian putting up with this crap from not one but two boyfriends. I really disliked the fact that she'd got herself dragged into another abusive relationship, and I was going to call you on it. However ... as I read on, the explanation of hers that she wants her and Russell to grow, and that she knows he is different from Darren started to make a lot of sense. And then when Augustus makes the connection between her strength which makes her want to sort out her own problems ... well ... that was a great piece of psychology.

Great story, Alex, and I hope you get the reads and reviews you deserve. ~Carole~

PS: yay to Theo's happy ending :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review Carole! It really cheered me up :) And DeathLex is by far the coolest nickname I've ever had, so I'm pleased you're using it :)

I did think through Viv's character a lot. I think she wanted to avoid her relationships becoming a pattern, and because of this wanted to try and make it work with Russell, in the way she hadn't made it work (well, Darren's fault, not hers) with Darren. And in doing so, fell into the same pattern. I'm pleased at first you were uneasy, but the psychology of it made you see it as a real situation. If you ever think I don't manage to show that, then I'm glad you seem willing to call me up on it, because that sometimes that needs to be done.

Anyway, I'm pleased you enjoyed it and thanks so much, again, for reviewing. Though, honestly, I don't know what's come over me, because if you think this was a happy ending, then wait until you see the Dean/ OC story, which was destined for an unhappy ending but changed. Thanks again for the lovely review :) Alex

 

Betrayal/Regret by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: A pair of sonnets that explore the betrayal and regret of the Marauders.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 234 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/06/11 Updated: 11/06/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Two sonnets

Explain to me again why you aren't in PA. These are stunning. The fact that you've encapsualted both Sirius and Peter in so few words and in such brilliant lines speaks volumes about your poetic ability.

You turned-abandoned light to serve the dark; The shadow in your soul now somehow bought

I love this imagery here of the 'turned-abandoned light'. It really shows the deep deep sense of betrayal and confusion that Sirius must have felt regarding Peter.

Peter's sonnet is so well done. The regret at the enormity of his betrayal shines through every word.

Great sonnets. You make them look effortless.

Author's Response: Thank you, Carole. I'm not in PA because I can't just whip out a poem on command! I think I wrote one poem last year and this could be my one poem for this year, who knows. But I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. It continues my belief that there really was more to this betrayal than meets the eye, because how could they have been such good friends with such a person, and missed it? I'm not sure if that makes it even more tragic or slightly unbelievable, but for the most part I do think Peter was a decent bloke at one point and had desperate reasons for what he did - and regret. Thanks so much for reading this, and for the lovely compliments! ~Gina :)

 

The Two Black Sisters by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: When their sister runs away with a Mudblood, desecrating their family's honour, how do they react?



This poem won Stage 2:Free Verse at the Triathlon at Poetry Anyone? Inspired by the following prompt:

We must not look at goblin men,

We must not buy their fruits:

Who knows upon what soil they fed

Their hungry, thirsty roots?


~Christina Rossetti, Goblin Market

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 187 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/06/11 Updated: 11/06/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh bollocks to the lack of the align function. Of course it doesn't matter really because this is such a superb poem and I did say in SBBC that it's the words that count and not the structure. Having said that, your original version was more aesthetically pleasing. (I'll shut up now)

What is so good about this poem, are the voices and how each is represented. Bellatrix, Narciss, and the silent voice of Andromeda that haunts Narcissa so.

Extraordinary poem. I can't give you an amazing analysis because I just aint that literary, but the chant at the end was incredible. I really heard the pair of them speaking and it sent shivers down my spine.

I could gush some more, if you'd like - but I suspect that's redundant. *sigh* Your poetry is so good. I really should be jealous, but it's like staring at ... um ... a Titian painting wondering why my crayon drawing doesn't look as wondrous. Okay, that makes no sense.

Heads for nearest exit in embarrassing shuffle

Croll

Author's Response: CROLL!

I am glad you liked this one. My previous drafts were bad, so I just chucked them and started anew. I really wish we had a right text alignment option, but oh well. :( You don't have to give me an amazing literary analysis. Just the fact that you reviewed even though you've read this elsewhere made my day. <3

 

The First Howl by LoonyLupin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

"A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night, may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright."


I was curious about what happened the day Remus Lupin was bitten and the night he transformed for the first time... this is the result.

One shot.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 1221 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/10/11 Updated: 11/21/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: Howl

I love the imagery in this, the way the apples change colours, the description of the crisp autumn day, and Remus' fear of the wolf, are all very nicely written. His isolation from the Muggle children is rather sad, and I did wonder why the Lupins didn;t know any other wizarding families, so Lupin could meet other children, but still you wrote his loneliness very well and I did feel my heart wrench a little.

I do have a pick with the story. It's daytime and he's watching the apples, then moves to the forest. He's bitten by Greyback there, but it's not night time and thus Greyback would not have been a fully transformed werewolf. You need to make it clearer in your story that it starts at dusk and he's out at moonrise.

The other thing you may wish to tweak is him going outside to transform. Whilst I, again, loved the description of the cold night, the full moon and the way this beauty was so discordant with the change happening in him, I don't think his parents would have sent him into the garden where he'd be a danger to anyone nearby. You could remedy this by adding a line to the effect that they cast several charms on the garden so he couldn't escape.

His transformation and that ferocious howl made me so sad for Remus, and you're right: he is now cursed for the rest of his life.

Interesting story ~Carole~

 

Somewhere Only We Know by Gmariam
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Remus Lupin reflects on his past as he faces an uncertain future after the death of a close mentor.

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Strong Profanity

Word count: 4732 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/13/11 Updated: 11/13/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/13/11 Title: Chapter 1: Simple Things

OOOH, this is so fabulous, Gina. I was a bit concerned that you were going to put up something merely to balance your stats *snort*, but I should have realised you'd never do that - hee hee.

Where shall I start. Your description is lush, the characterisation is spot on, and your choice of flashbacks was wonderful.

I really felt for Remus in all of them. I felt his sorrow, anguish, gratitude and his joy in his friends. It was adorable.

OH - Nitpick - in your end note - It's Keane not Keene - ha ha ha. Sorry, that's is so so so so miserly of me - hee hee.

Loved James thinking about Lily at the end and discussing marriage. It really helped see him as someone more responsible and the differences between the Marauders were laid out there.

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks so much Carole. I can't believe you'd think that about me, lol! Not that I wouldn't, but no, not this time. I've got other fluffy stuff saved up for that. ;) Anyway - thanks so much for the compliments. I'm always an extra bit pleased when I can get a Marauder piece by you. ;) And I realized a few mistakes last nigh in bedt but you all got to them before I could edit, drat! All fixed now, thanks. And thanks again for the amazing review! ~Gina :)

 

God Gave Me You by MJ_Padfoot
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: “Your happily ever after will come, Hermione.” Dad whispered to me one night when I was a little girl. “One day, you will meet him and he will love you. You’ll see. You just need to be patient.”

I never thought it would happen until now.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1124 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/14/11 Updated: 11/21/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This is a sweet story. I'm unfamiliar with the song, but the lyrics at the beginning beautifully segued into the story and I found myself reading them again once I'd finished the story.

First person is a difficult perspective to get right, but I think you've done a great job with Hermione here. She is a character who rather lends herself to the self-analysis and introspection that first person can bring, but through her eyes you also captured Ron rather well.

I noticed a few minor errors

They had invited me but I told them that I couldn’t get work off--which was true. - I think you mean 'couldn;t get time off work' or something similar.

In another place, you've misspelled 'Apparate' - typing 'Apperate'

I did pause a little at Ron saying he'd always liked Hermione since that first day on the train because I tend to think he disliked her rather a lot until the incident with the troll. In fact, their relationship is punctuated with bouts of them absolutely loathing each other. Whilst I agree that their rows could be a cover for true feelings, perhaps a line from Hermione laughingly telling him that they didn't get on for ages, wouldn;t have gone amiss.

I love the last paragraph. I adore the sentiments about marriage and happy ever afters.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Carole! I'm sure that there are a few more errors then the ones that you pointed out. If I ever get the time to go back and fix it, I'll do it. As for the Ron thing, I like to secretly believe that he liked her a litle bit from the start like James and Lily. But that's just me. :) Thank you for such a nice review! Cheers! ~MJ

 

Safe House by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: Pansy Parkinson’s carefree world was toppled when she overheard her father’s murder and caught a glimpse of the killer. Forced into hiding by the Ministry, she is compelled to co-habitate with, of all the bloody people on the planet, Harry Potter. Can these two live together in cramped quarters without there being another murder, or can they find common ground that had eluded them since they last encountered one another?

Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 11041 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/19/11 Updated: 12/06/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/21/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

OOOOH, interestinggggg. Jess, I am so enjoying this story. I know this was for an HP/PP fest which is actually a ship I think .... um ... let's be honest implausible and dumb (eeep), but you're making this plausible. Yeah, you really are. I love Pansy in this ... or rather I love her character. She's such a biyotch especially her snarky remarks about Millicent - ha ha ha. The exchange of clothes was great. I love how Harry really didn't seem to understand her attachment to female clothes - men! *rolls eyes*

One other thing - thank you for giving this a plot. Too many ships are just that - a ship with no rudder and thus no direction drifting with no breeze. Can I get any more metaphors in here? I think not.

Look forward to the rest and the smut version ... heh heh heh. ~Croll~

Author's Response:

Well, my bread and butter is taking ships that shouldn't work and make it happen at least to an extent. I'm not sure if I could fully support this ship, but I do think it's a bit of good fun for Harry to be railed at by a snarky b!tch. Personally, I think he enjoys the feeling of being in charge. :)

Anyway, I'm rambling rather ineffectively, so I'll shut up and get back to writing, hehe. Ta for the read/review!

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/23/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

WHoaaaaa! ha ha ha - YES! Pansy gets her man. And I hate the biyotch - but this is so good and Harry deserves a little bit of ... hmm, I was going to say fun, but actually I mean pure sex and lust.

Brilliant story. This is so much fun. Oh, and I was giggling when she called Hermione a beaver - hee hee.

Best line - She had never experienced this brand of passion before: wanting to hate whilst hating to want.

Fabulous ~Carole~

Author's Response:

It was *so* hard to edit down the smut. It was full of Pansy's snark that it was almost a shame to cull it down. However, for the sake of submission, I had to, even though it was some of the better smut I'd written. I might slap up the uncensored version on LJ so it isn't wasted. :)

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/06/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Helllooooo. Noooo, I don;t want this to end. But actually, it makes sense that it did end there. This has been a joy to read. Pansy was lovely, (well a b1tch but a fab one) and Harry was very IC. Decent plot too. I am guessing you've been trawling SBBC so you'll know my views in real things in the Potterverse. I won;t elaborate, except to say that whilst I found the references amusing, I'm not sure it added much to the story. It did make me giggle though and as passing references (and not the basis for a fic) then I found this quite clever. /annoying peeve of Crolls.

Thank you for a great story. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

The only reason I chucked the TV in there is because of where they were, it's far more likely that Harry could have a TV. Plus, since he was living there as almost an act of escape, it goes without saying that a brainless activity like TV would be something he would need. And as we both know, it's easy to get sucked into ST: TNG, lol. The references to parts of the show were meant to show that, while Pansy didn't enjoy the show, exactly, but she was watching it with him and had bonded with him over something. It was just a tiny nugget to further expand on what happened between the time they arrived and the time she left.

I think my favourite part of this last chapter was when Pansy was confronted by Runcorn and couldn't stop herself from vomiting out cliche lines while trying to give Harry the time to strike.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I was worried that culling the smut would damage the story, but it worked out after all. :D

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOOH, intriguing young, Jessica DiStrange. I like this and can't wait for the next chapter. You've managed to keep Pansy perfectly in character and yet also sympathetic. Good story, too. ~Croll~

Author's Response:

Well, naturally, the smut that had been in this story will have to be edited out, as it's a bit too explicit for MNFF, but once we get past that point, I'll so slip you a copy of the original.

*squishes Croll*

~Jess

 

The Dark Son's Lament by Envy_I_May_Be
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A poem about Draco's feelings about becoming a Death Eater; set during HBP.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 218 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/28/11 Updated: 12/07/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Dark Son's Lament

This poem packs a punch. I have to admit that I'm a bit of a sucker for Draco redemption fics/poetry so am very pleased to have chanced on this today.

You've very cleverly tracked Draco's progression down the dark path that leads him to attempt to kill Dumbledore, and his emotions here come across as very real. There's a good flow to the poem and the early stanzas with the regular rhyming scheme work effortlessly. Having said that, I also liked the change into the choppier style of the latter part of the poem. It seemed indicitive of Draco's emotions at that point when he's crumbling.

I noticed a typo.

Thos eyes, filled with tears

I think you mean 'Those'.

Great poem, well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the positive feedback. I'm very proud of this little gem of mine, and I'm so very glad that you enjoyed it. :)

 

How Many Times by iwannabeanauror
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: After Lily leaves her Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L, she writes a poem to the person she thought was her best friend for life.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 100 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/29/11 Updated: 12/07/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/27/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I like the sentiments in this poem. It must have been so hard for Lily to finally make the break from Severus and give up their friendship, and I think you’ve caught that very nicely in this letter-poem.

As a poem, though, I’m not sure it works the way it’s formatted. The line spacing is a little distracting and the line length doesn’t aid the flow of it as it’s read. I think it might have worked better as a prose poem, with all the lines together rather than a free verse with line breaks, because some lines are over long and syllable heavy.

There are one or two typing errors. It should be ‘disagreements’ not ‘dissagreements’ and you’ve typed ‘its’ when it should be ‘it’s’. I’d also change ‘alright’ to ‘all right’, but that is very much a personal preference.

There’s a real sense of how hard it was for Lily to say goodbye, so well done for capturing that. ~Carole~

 

Ways to Say Goodbye by LoonyLupin
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Andromeda and Ted Tonks married nearly thirty years ago, against the wishes of Andromeda’s parents. She was disowned because Ted was a Muggle-born.

In the same summer that Harry Potter went off to find Horcruxes, wizards like Ted are being hunted. He knows what he has to do now. It’s the most painful decision he’s ever had to make. But he’s going to make these precious hours count.

One-shot companion to "From Opposite Sides".

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1238 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/08/11 Updated: 12/20/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/21/13 Title: Chapter 1: Ways To Say Goodbye

I always think that the tragedy of Andromeda Tonks is largely ignored in the books and in fanfiction. She loses her husband, daughter and son-in-law to the war, and although she is left with a grandson, the knowledge that her Black family is responsible for so much of her unhappiness must have been incredibly disturbing for her. So, I very much like the set up here, and the story you have told. It’s beautifully written and the chemistry between Ted and Andromeda is palpable. I very much enjoyed their very sensual goodbye to each other. You didn’t skirt around them very probably having sex on their last together, and you wrote it beautifully. The line about the shadows merging into one was lovely. I do find so often in fanfiction that sex is seen as the preserve of teenagers, so it was refreshing to read of two fortysomethings still finding passion together.

I think there’s an error with your timeline, though. In the books, we hear Ted say that he’s only just met up with Dean, so to me that implies that it wasn’t a pre-planned escape together, but both chanced on each other. Ted and Dean knowing each other before, meeting up and planning to run off together seems fairly unlikely, partly because their age disparity doesn’t give them much commonality to have met before.

That was a minor quibble, though, and I very much liked the story. You brought Ted and Andromeda alive, so well done. ~Carole~

 

Small Hours by Acacia Carter
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Past Featured StoryFrank had hoped that his and Alice's first Christmas together would have just a little more hope and cheer than this.

Second Place Winner for the Great Hall-iday Challenge of 2011, for the prompt "Christmas at Ground Zero."



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1871 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/09/11 Updated: 12/11/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This story was recommended to me by Gina (Gmariam) and I was hesitant at first because generally i don;t like sad stories :( and also because i'm trying to write a GH challenge story myself (not this prompt though). However I was very glad I did. This is a joy to read and even though we know things don;t turn out well for Frank and Alice, it still made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I particularly liked the passage where she's telling him she's pregnant and he's thinking of all the things he has to do to keep them safe. Frank is lovely here. He's just a name in the books but you gave him a distinct personality - and Alice, too.

One minor query ... How did she know it was a boy? She can only be two months pregnant, so is it a magical thing the Healers can do. (That's me being interested and not picking fault, btw)

Good luck in the challenge and ... uh ... Welcome to Hufflepuff. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I think I owe half my readership on MNFF to Gina. I'm glad you took her advice. :)

You are correct - in my own personal fanon, I've determined that the simple diagnostic spell that determines whether or not a witch is pregnant can also determine the sex of the baby, as well as its health.

Thanks so much for reading, and I'll have tons of fun hobnobbing with my new badger mates. :D

 
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