Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

Lacuna Mentis by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThere were blind spots in his mind. They said he might recover the lost memories; they also said there was a high possibility he might not. Along came a girl, and everything changed.

Warning: This story is originally rated Professors, for the bunch of warning tags applicable to it. The rating has been changed temporarily only because we're having some technical problem with stories that have higher ratings. So, please click at your own discretion.

This story is written for ToBeOrNot..../Jess, my close friend and one of the most gifted writers I know. O Believer of Rarepairs, this is my fluff-free, dark and angsty present for you.

Winner of this year's QSQ Best Dark/Angsty and nominated for Best General!

DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K.Rowling. I highly doubt she ships this ship.

PLEASE DO NOT READ THE REVIEWS before reading the fic.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 10460 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/11 Updated: 07/19/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/19/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Noooooooooooooooooo. Oh, poo, I don;t want to discuss the whole fic and give away 'poilers because I know some people (ginacoughcough) read the reviews first - ha ha ha. Okay, let me just say that this is fabulosa! I love it. So clever, complex but above all bloody well written and researched (wow, who is your Latin professor?)

Um .... I think Jess will bloody adore this, so well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: YAY! No poilers for Gina, though she eventually got them hahaha. My Latin Professor is a mysterious male who goes by the name of "DH". Thanks for the reviews and the nomination!

greetz

~Natalie

 

Bracelets by armagod679
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Lavender Brown: gossip, fashion queen, boy crazy. But she also weaves bracelets from thread. Bracelets that let her forget gossip, that make her fashionable, and that save her from the pain of boys... and everything else.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 1692 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/11 Updated: 07/26/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: Embroidery Thread

I like the theme of this fic. The weaving of the bracelets weaves its way through the story and gives Lavender a kind of resilience that most fanfiction writers tend to ignore. Lavender is one of my favourite characters - I kinda champion her - and I hate it when she's ONLY portrayed as shallow and boy-crazy. What has worked here is that you haven't ignored that gossipy side to her, but you have reiterated that it's normal. She is a normal teenage girl - much as Parvati and Ginny are (in terms of boyfriends that is).

I do have to quibble on some things that really stuck out for me.

He just wanted a piece of ass and once he had that…” - Sorry, that is such an American turn of phrase that it really sat awkwardly with me. I would change to something like 'He just wanted a grope.'

The other thing is that you have Lavender as a Muggleborn. According to JKR's class notes, she's a pureblood. Even if you don't consider additional information as canon (which is fair enough), she can't have been a Muggleborn if she attended Hogwarts in her final year. She'd have been in hiding or on the run like the Creeveys were. (Colin came back when the Galleon called him).

The ending was sad, but also optimistic. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I like Lavender, too-- she's a very under served character and needed her own story. Sorry about the American-ism. It's the term I know and I'll look into changing it. I checked the Lexicon before writing this and Steve and his staff agree with me. JKR's notes say Lavender was a pureblood but some of the hints in the books-- not knowing what the Grim was for example-- indicate that Lavender hasn't grown up in the Wizarding world. And you're right, I usually don't use interviews as canon because I tend to miss all of them. Thanks again for reading!

 

Mum by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 27]

Summary:

There's something Lily's been waiting to hear since Harry said his first word.

Written in anticipation for Deathly Hallows, part two.

Nominated for the 2011 Best Dark/Angsty QSQ. Thank you, Maple!

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1853 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/11 Updated: 07/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/31/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Oh, Lisa, this is so beautiful. About the only moment in the last film that made me cry was when Lily appeared and the whole scene at Godric's Hollow when she's saying 'Mummy loves you.' This is a beautiful way of echoing that moment.

Ughh, I hate Petunis so much. *controls rage* I love, however, the way you showed how compassionate and loving Harry is despite getting no love from his relatives. The early love saved him from more than just Voldemort.

Second person isn't a POV I like very much. It tends to be quite hectoring to my ears, yet I soon got into this despite the initial concerns. I think that's because I could relate to Lily.

Lovely story. Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you, Carole! I agree about Petunia. She... grr. I'm not going to go there.

I usually don't write second person, and I don't often read it, either, but for some reason this story wouldn't come out in first or third. *shrug* I'm glad you were able to get past it. Thanks again!

 

Summary: Past Featured StoryWe knew, though she’d not said a word, that even the best of love must die, and had been savagely undone. - W.B. Yeats

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 6572 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
07/23/11 Updated: 08/14/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Animagi

This is a good story. I like the way you've portrayed all the Marauders and not fallen into the trap of making Peter a total tag-a-long. His feelings of disappointment when he turns into a rat are very on the money as are James' attempts to placate him and the surprise that Sirius comes up with the best reason for being a rat. Remus, too, was great. His low self-esteem and reliance on his friends was nicely portrayed.

I think you have a small timeline issue - but it's not much. In POA, Remus says that when his friends discovered he was a werewolf, they took the best part of three years learning to become Animagi. The achieved this in their fifth year. So that puts their discovery in year two. It's very, very minor, but just thought I'd mention it.

Look forward to next chapter. ~Carole~

 

The Orange Cat by SaboteurVictory
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: We all know Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger met at Hogwarts, became best friends, saved the world, fell in love, and got married.

But did they really meet for the very first time on the Hogwarts Express, or was there perhaps another moment in time, long forgotten by the time they turned eleven?

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1955 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/01/11 Updated: 08/11/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Your Eighth Birthday...

I very much like the idea of this. Ron's magic coming through late is an intriguing idea, and I love all the other memories - especially Percy's book multiplying. That's really inventive. The fact that Ron and Hermione met before is rather clever, although I can't help feeling that while Ron would probably have forgotten, Hermione would have remembered a family all with red hair. She strikes me as sharp, so that made me ponder a little.

I have a bit of a nitpick at the beginning where you seem to have switched tenses. You start of in present tense 'It is an important day' etc etc.and then switch to past. The final lines of that last section

Mum had made you an extra birthday cake to celebrate you becoming a wizard. is then written in past perfect. You might want to look at altering this so it's all past tense.

The flash forward scene is very sweet. I love the touches of Ron feeding Hugo, Rose ignoring her vegetables, and Ron not knowing how to sign for a parcel - ha ha. Your characterisation was very good and I'm especially pleased you resisted the urge to make Ron a total oaf, which seems to be the fashion atm.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! And thanks for pointing out the tense change; it's funny how that kind of thing has always been a struggle of mine. I do agree that Hermione might have been sharp enough to remember a family with all-red hair, but I sort of pondered that while I wrote. Hermione first only met Ron, and then sort of gradually came across the rest of his family during her train ride and then at the feast, and at the time, there were only 4 Weasley boys at Hogwarts. So it could easily be that without the appearance of the whole family at once, it might not have jogged her memory of when she was eight. Again, thank you for the review!

 

Potter's Song by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary:

Though battered, bruised, and beleaguered, the valourous warriors of Hogwarts stood resolute in the aftermath, ready to carve a new world ” a world of better men and better days.

This poem is dedicated to those individuals.

 

This poem has been nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Poem.



This poem has also been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 107 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/01/11 Updated: 08/01/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow, Jess, I can see why this won first place. This is a great poem; I'm not sure I can fault a single line. I often find myself focusing on the rhymes in a rhyming poem because they can seem forced, but here I barely noticed them because they were effortless. You also have some great interplay within the lines.

To build, to mould, a whole new realm I particularly liked the build/mould juxtaposition, here.

Fabulosa! Well Done. and YAY!

~marauderstrike200~

Author's Response:

I'm not going to lie, this poem was slapped together in about 20 minutes while chatting. I am seriously shocked that it did well at all, let alone won. However, after sitting on it for a while, I really do like it, hence posting it. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you felt the fondness with which it was written.

~StormRose98

 

While He Leaves by Ginny Weasley Potter
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Harry stood quite still and silent, listening to her sobbing and calling Ron’s name amongst the trees.— Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by JK Rowling

We know everything about how Harry felt when Ron left him and Hermione in the forest after the huge fight with Harry on that fateful day. But what was the situation in Ron and Hermione’s minds? How could it be from their points of view?

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 139 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/04/11 Updated: 08/09/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: While He Leaves

Awwww, I like this. I haven't started my pantoum yet, so am impressed you've mastered it so well. This is a sweet poem and nicely encapsulates Ron and Hermione.

Repent does he but the chance is gone

This is worded a bit oddly and had me stumbling when I read it both times. 'Repent does he' is a bit too Shakespearean and doesn't quite fit with the wording of the rest of the poem. I think you should switch it to 'he does repent' or 'Repent he does' . Minor point, but thought I'd mention it.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh, once you start the pantoum, you'll realise that it isn't all that hard. ;) But yes, I thought such a poem would sound best for something emotional or deep. Oh, and about that line, I've been unsure with the words too. I thought something didn't fit quite well, but I wasn't able to point out the mistake. Thanks for pointing that out to me, I'll change it right away. *huggles* :) And thanks for the review too! :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: While He Leaves

OOOOH, a Pantoum. Having just suffered the trauma of writing my own, and finding it sadly difficult and lacking, I was a bit hesitant about clicking on yours.

But this is really well done. The lines that need to be repeated don't sound at all forced and you have a very good flow and rhythm to the poem. I like the fact that you've kept some lines exactly the same (this is SO effective in the first two stanzas) but have twisted others around.

Unhurt, unscathed, pristine?

Even the punctuation here works well :)

The emotions in this poem are so very true to canon. I love the way you've shown both sides here because in the book we see Ron's anger and Hermione's tears from Harry's POV, but we don;t see Ron's sadness and enormous regret.

Knowing the remorse in her eyes and the lone tear

This was the only line I stumbled on (and then only mildly). I think it's too long, and I'm not sure about the word 'knowing' (perhaps 'seeing' instead?).

I really enjoyed this poem, though. It looks effortless and nothing about it is at all forced.

Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ooh, a second review from you for this poem! Again, sorry I'm a douche! I actually quite enjoyed writing this pantoum. I'm lazy and I like it when two likes of each verse are pre-determined and I just have to think of two more. I did try writing another pantoum and I hated it. It's at the back of my college notebook written in pencil and signed and everything and it never came into my laptop. To be fair, the lines were easy enough to twist around and the poem was so short in itself that it wasn't difficult at all.And I had some rhythm issues too which I wanted to sorted out and will sort out according to your suggestion. I think Ron is a largely underestimated character in the fanfiction world because no one ever seems to want to think that he may have genuine feeling and that he's not stupid. It so annoys me when people do that. And I'm glad I didn't make a mistake in characterising him. Sometimes I doubt my own characterisation so much... Thank you for the review, Carole and orry again! *huggles*

 

Storm and Stress by Merlynne
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Past Featured StoryMeleia Varias, a fourth year student at Durmstrang Institute knows that reason often has little to do with anything in life, and justice is an abstract concept. Under Headmaster Karkaroff’s watchful eye, Meleia explores the frightening implications of her past as she works to un-fog the future in a world that refuses to be made sense of.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 26593 Chapters: 7 Completed: No
Published:
08/10/11 Updated: 02/14/12


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/18/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Littlest One

This will be fairly short and sweet. Although this isn;t my usual type of fic, I was steered this way by a friend (and saw this in Featured) so decided to give it a whirl.

From this evidence of this opening chapter, I think you have a great story here. Your plot is original, your characters fully formed and the writing is good. It's a shame this hasn't had many reviews (apart from the last surge from aforementioned friend - ha ha) but that's probably because it's an OC story set in Durmstrang. Very unfair because this deserves more attention.
,br> Intriguing start and rather spine-chilling. Well done - Carole-

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and thank you for reviewing!

 

Moving Ginny by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: After her brother's Potter-assisting activities are discovered by Death Eaters, Ginny's Easter holiday take a bit of a sour turn.

A missing moment from Deathly Hallows

I'm not J.K. Rowling, which should be obvious as soon as you being reading. Haha.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1063 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/14/11 Updated: 08/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 03/30/12 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

Awww, sorry, I missed this first time around, and that's a shame because it's a little gem, Lori. You captured a missing moment perfectly. I sometimes think the best stories are the ones that we know happened, but weren't written for us by JK. *sigh*

You captured Ginny's fears very well here. She wasnts her family to be safe, but is so desperate not to let her friends down because what she's doing is important, and being stuck in a house with Aunt Muriel will be ... frustrating .

Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw, you sweet thing! I was just joking about the reviews, and here you've left me a real one! Well, it's down to you really, since this is one of those that came out of your fabulous Missing Moments class. I think ever since then, that is one of my favorite time frames to write. I used to loathe the idea of writing Ginny, but now I've come to see her a little differently. I'm glad that came across. Thanks for reading and reviewing, friend. I appreciate it! <3

 

I Always Knew by Dragon_Lily
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Snape reflects on losing his one true love.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 115 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/15/11 Updated: 08/16/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Always Knew

Hi there, I thought I should return the favour and leave you a review for your poem.

I like the structure here, and am thinking this is a pantoum (?).Tthe near repetition of certain lines reminds me of that form and it works well here. You've done well to convey Snape's thoughts in relatively few words. His love/obsession tends to define him in the books and in fanfiction and this is no different, but at the same time you show a reflectiveness about him that isn't seen.

I liked the flow of this poem and the rhyming certainly assisted that as well as the repetition of key lines. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much for your review! It was my first ever... :D -Emma

 

Ambition's Downfall by goldensnidget92
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Draco Malfoy's sixth year at Hogwarts is as infamous as Dolores Umbridge's detentions, but what really motivated him to attempt to kill the great Albus Dumbledore?

After his father's imprisonment in Azkaban, Draco is left feeling humiliated and alone. Coming from a family where reputation means everything, he jumps at the chance to prove himself to the Dark Lord; but will he be able to go through with the momentous task of murdering the greatest wizard known to man, or will he learn to value just how precious life can be?

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 7576 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
08/22/11 Updated: 12/11/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/27/13 Title: Chapter 1: Temptation

I’m always interested in Draco stories, especially those concerning his motivations during that sixth year and onwards. He’s such an intriguing and well-rounded character because we do see in the sixth and seventh books that he does have a spark of humanity about him that could lead to his redemption.

I very much liked the connections you made in the story, like Pansy’s letter reminding him of the Vanishing Cabinet, which led him to Bourgin and Burkes. It felt very natural and the plot flowed pretty well.

I’m in two minds about the opening chapter. There were a couple of moments in his characterisation which didn’t ring true to me, although it’s very possible that you’ve written this in a way that also shows he’s self-deluded.

Draco wondered where his voice had gone. He was never scared by anyone, so why had his throat closed up, not allowing any sound out except a strangled grunt?

The thing is, Draco in the books is scared of quite a lot. He’s scared of the Forbidden Forest, he’s scared of Hermione when she hits him, he’s scared of Moody, so perhaps a line in the story where it’s obvious he’d refusing to think about the times when he’s been terrified would aid the characterisation.

The other part in chapter one is here:

That he could be so foolish to have both been beaten by Potter (whom Draco had beaten several times before) and to let himself be caught by the Ministry was disgusting.

Again, Draco is deluded. He hasn’t beaten Harry several times before. Usually Harry beats him. The only time Draco did really get what he wanted was when he got Harry thrown off the Quidditch team. So, it could be good to show Draco’s ascendency in this sixth year if his besting of Harry in the carriage is seen as a newer experience for Draco.

They’re both minor points, but they did niggle at me a little in the opening chapter.

The final point is that I’d have liked to have seen him get his Dark Mark. I can only imagine what a huge thing it was for him, and with Bellatrix alongside urging him on, and Narcissa in constant fear, it would have made a powerful scene.

Having said that, it’s obviously your story, and I did enjoy reading it. ~Carole~

 

Wine Untasted by Black Rapture
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary: He emerged from seclusion to find acceptance - what he found was her. /post-DH/Draco/Hermione/

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 17935 Chapters: 8 Completed: No
Published:
08/24/11 Updated: 01/16/13


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Sky is Laced with Fitful Red

I'm interested in Draco redemption fics having written a few myself, and like the premise of this. Draco as a Potions master should be interesting and not totally unlikely given that he was good at the subject. I admit to finding hagrid's change of a heart a little too quick. It's not that I think he'd bear a grudge, but I don't think he'd extend the hand of friendship unprompted quite so easily. Hagrid is quite diffident so this seemed a little OOC for him to make the first move.

Am intrigued to see where Hermione fits in. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Just wanted to let you know that I agree completely and I didn't expect anyone to assume it was unprompted. You can be sure that he was given a little push by McGonagall, although I didn't blatantly write it.

 

Whispers in the Night by lucca4
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Past Featured Story

"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell."

It's a secret, and it haunts you but you won't tell.

You promised.

This is lucca4 of Gryffindor writing for The Great Bannermakers' Hall Challenge.

It won …and I am still shocked!

Thank you, thank you, to my beta Alex/welshdevondragon, who has beta-ed this in the blink of an eye. She is amazing.

Also, thank you to Julia/the opaleye for the gorgeous, eye-dropping banner that inspired the story.

Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Dark/Angsty Story.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Non-Consensual Sex, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 2877 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: (Whispers)

wowzers!

Ariana this is brilliant. Absolutely friglootingly brilliant. I'm totally amazed, except I shouldn;t be because it's you. Uhm, dumbstruck. And it's second person which I hate - except I obviously don;t when you write it.

Sorry, incoherence reigns in this review. It's fab. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Caroleeeeee! I'm so incredibly glad that you actually liked it, even though it was second person :). I was really worried about that, actually, and you made me feel so much better. Thank you! xx Ariana

 

Undeniably Awkward by ron lover
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 1]

Summary: It was just an ordinary day for Albus before Scorpius changed that with one question.

Slight Al/Scorpius.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 996 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ha ha ha - I'm giggling at this. Although I was going 'wtf?' at the beginning (in a confused way, not an angry way) by the middle I was really interested. I love the description of the kiss, and their discomfort at not knowing what to do with their hands etc. By the end I was giggling at the word 'fingery' ha ha.

I liked this ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hello Carole! I intended it that way, for the beginning. I was hoping it would show Al's confusion better that way. And thank you very much! I was a bit worried that the kiss wouldn't be accurate. And I was giggleing there too. =P Thank you so much for reviewing!

 

Up in the Air by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary:

To Harry Potter, his life's destiny was to save the world, become an Auror, and be with Ginny Weasley forever. He did all right on the first. The second wasn't turning out to be all he thought it would, and the third... well, that's a story for a different day. 

Where does that leave the Chosen One so soon after his twenty-fourth birthday? And will a past acquaintance show him what or even who he wanted for his future?




This story has been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Non-Canon Romance Story.




Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 11138 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/15/11 Updated: 09/23/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/24/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

OHHH, you can't leave it there ... impossible! Well, not really, I actually think that's a great ending to a fine story. Harry in a crisis at work and meeting someone in equal turmoil. Brilliant.

I liked Katie a lot in this. It's sad that she became so hard and cynical because she was always the sweet girl on the team. I believe she and Harry will heal each other (and have a cracking good time) so YAY for telling their story.

I was a bit puzzled that Kingsley took the resignation so well, but when you added the line about how Harry had been fighting since he was 15 that made sense. Kingsley isn't the coolest guy in the history of the Ministry for nothing. Seriously, someone needs to give that man a sex life - ha ha ha.

Really enjoyed this, Jess, so well done. ~Croll~

Author's Response:

Lol, I stopped the story where I did to make sure I didn't give them an unhappy ending, as I'm wont to do. This way, there is a promise of flying and smut and a relationship that may or may not work out but one hopes it does.

I actually considered Kingsley's reaction carefully. See, he isn't a BAMF for nothing. There are few things about the people who work under him that he doesn't know, and I would think he would keep an especially close eye on the MLE. He would've noticed the gradual decline in Harry's work performance, which no one would've said directly, given that he's Harry. And I believe Kingsley to be very shrewd about people, and I think he realised long before Harry did that this wasn't what he wanted to do anymore. It was something he'd actually expected to happen eventually, or, if not, something he might've even suggested.

Hmm, Kingsley smut...I might have to cook something up one of these days.

Anyway, *hugs Croll*

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

No no no. I'm far more upset about the wand breaking than Harry breaking up with Ginny - ha ha. But I VIOLENTLY disagree with him getting a new one. He should have broken into Dumbledore's coffin, nicked the Elder wand to mend his own. That's not at all creepy and OOC *snigger*

Interesting story, Jess. I do like your characterisation of everyone. Ollivander stuck out for me, not really sure why, but I loved that scene in the wand shop. Why did you decide on those combinations?

O have some foreknowledge of this story, but can't wait to read it all on here (inbetween all the qsq and brawl thingies).

Great, original story - reminds me a little of Wild Card .... heh heh heh.

~Croll~

Author's Response:

When I was foraging in my brain for a premise for a Harry/Katie, the idea of a broken wand stuck as a motif for broken dreams and changed perspectives. I felt bad for his wand, as it had already bit it once in its lifetime, but it was a part of Harry's past that he could use as a signpost to move on and go in a different direction. 

I decided on this new wand combo for Harry because of the change in him as a person. Larch, according to the Pottermore wand info, instills confidence in the carrier and taps into things hidden deep within. This is what the story is all about: Harry having the confidence to see that his life isn't what he truly wants and seeing within himself enough to know that things change and so do people, and who might've been his soulmate at seventeen might not be the right one at all years later. The length is still relatively close to that of his phoenix and holly wand, so that's not much different, and the core was meant to be a steadfast friend, the one thing that would stand by him no matter what when he knew it was time to turn his world upside down. I think Ollivander suspected as much when he picked this wand out for Harry to try.

Actually, out of all the characters, the one I was worried about the most was Katie. But I think a bad marriage and an introduction of harsh reality to a girl who needed something and someone after the war could warp Katie into what she was in the story. I'm sure someone was annoyed somewhere about me breaking up Harry and Ginny in the umpteenth different way, but he's so shippable when you get her out of the way, hehe.

Ooh, does this remind you of Wild Card? Well, I am planning a shower scene for the benefit of a particular LJ community, so maybe...

~Jess

 

MC Pansy by Astoria Greengrass
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: A rap written for the MC Kreacher Challenge in Poetry Anyone. Slytherin's queen dishes it out. Loosely based around Swish and Flick Wrock and Tik Tok's beat by Ke$ha.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 372 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
09/18/11 Updated: 09/19/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: MC Pansy

Can't believe you don;t have any reviews for this because it's a fun poem that made me giggle a lot when I read it in Poetry Anyone. You really managed to catch the rhythm and beat of the original rap and you also managed to excapsulate the very b1tchiness of Pansy withing the rap.

Conjure up a bridge and get over it I’m much better than you! I think that's my favourite set of lines - ha ha ha. BTW, when I was writing my rap, I kept reading/singing it in an American accent (I'm British), did you? Of course, if you're American then that makes no sense - heh heh. Well done. ~Carole~

 

Waiting by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: There was something beautiful about the sight in front of her: the pink and orange splashed on the sky, the tall trees fighting for prominence against the lavish background, and the gentle swaying of curtains that were being teased by the zephyr. Dorea thought, this is the perfect moment to die.

This story was written for the Great Bannermakers' Hall Challenge. Thanks to lullaby BANG for her amazing banner, which may be found here: http://i55.tinypic.com/mbk6eu.jpg.

Thanks to Croll/Equinox Chick for beta-reading this, helping me with historical facts, and giving me encouragement and support! I don't think I could have done this without you.

Disclaimer: I am not JKRowling. Also, a word about canon: Charlus Potter and Dorea Black married and had a son, but it is not known if it was James (and various other canon info actually suggest it was not him.)

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Suicide

Word count: 2880 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/19/11 Updated: 09/19/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I only dared you because I didn't think you could claim a banner. And thus, as always, you proved me wrong. Sigh. In three hours you produced something lovely and heart-rending. How how how do you do this? You've taken the very few facts we know about Dorea and Charlus Potter and weaved something wonderful.

I am not worthy.

What I really liked on reading this was the lovely description of simple things like her red cloak, and Isaac tipping his hat to her. Later scenes - like the bathroom - were so warm and funny, yet passionate, too. The poetry and his letter to her made me want to weep. I really wanted this to end happily for them, even though Charlus seemed like a decent man.

When you're famous, I will set up your fan club.

~Croll~

Author's Response: Hahaha! I am mad. >.< I didn't think I'd be able to pull it off. Thank you for your lovely comments! If I had the time, and if I had done some more planning, this would have been a better, bigger story. Even as I was typing it out feverishly, Isaac and Dorea were growing into full characters in my head, and I could picture lazy afternoons spent drowning in poems and cigarettes and whatnot! There is so much I imagined but didn't put down on the WordDoc because I hadn't the time nor the energy. :/

Thanks again for the wonderful review!

I wonder what the name of my fan club would be...

 

Lonely Remorse by Hullachan
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary: Petunia sits at her husband's funeral pondering how her family has fallen apart. The last thing she expects is for her nephew to slide into the back pew of the village church to pay his respects.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1777 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/19/11 Updated: 09/24/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/24/11 Title: Chapter 1: Lonely Remorse

Hi there, I think this is well written and your characterisation of Petunia is good. The story is interesting and flows well. Harry and Petunia's conversation is interesting and comes across as a very 'real' conversation. I like the awkwardness that Petunia feels throughout the story.

However, I find it somewhat implausible that no one would have told them that the battle was over and that they were safe, especially as Diggle lived in the next village.

Nice story otherwise. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hey Carole, thanks for reading and reviewing. I totally see your point there - as it says throughout the books, even the Muggles notice when things aren't quite right in the wizarding world. I think it was more the specifics that I imagined Petunia to be looking for, particularly as the war with Voldemort has taken most of her family, albeit in an indirect way. Great to think about these things though!

 
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