Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

Raindrops by Gmariam
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 248]

Summary:

He returned with a quiet sadness and a surprising new responsibility to keep him focused. She returned with a misplaced bitterness and the matching position that forced them to work with one another. Yet fear, resentment, and stubborn arrogance kept pushing them apart, even when they were meant to be together.
Winner, Quicksilver Quill for Best Canon Romance. Thank you!!


Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 88679 Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/20/11 Updated: 12/20/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/07/11 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

awwwwww, James is so lovely. I seriously want to hug him, and then find Lily and shake some sense into her.

Love the bit with Anastasia. That is the sort of situation that girls get trapped into, but *sigh*, she doesn't learn.

My favourite is the part with Sirius. There's really something going on with the boy and James is only just realising. The banter was perfect. And yay they're going for a run.

I love this story even though it's messing with my head canon. Curse you, Gina Gmariam!

Love you really, Carole.

 

The Web We Weave by Black_Beret
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Fred Weasley, a young man now, is nothing like his father, George Weasley. Indeed, he has his grandfather's interest in Muggles and his Uncle Percy's serious attitude towards life, but from his father, he had nothing but the crooked grin.

Fred, who works undercover in the Muggle world as the lawyer Derek Sharp and defends his own kind in the Muggle system, has no interest in his family or the life he used to lead. His tragic past, however, refuses to leave him alone, as does a certain Muggle in a yellow raincoat. All too soon, his two worlds become hopelessly intertwined in a tangled mess, leaving him with two options- leave the Muggle world, his job, and the stangest woman he has ever met, or turn his back on the wizarding world, and it's laws, and throw it all to the wind.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1997 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
06/25/11 Updated: 07/12/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Girl in the Yellow Raincoat

Hi there, I was intrigued by your summary, so thought I would give your story a whirl especially as Fred jnr is such an underwritten character and yours sounds original. You immediately drew me in with your opening paragraphs and the girl with the yellow raincoat sounds suitably mysterious (I'm thinking a Luna connection because of the colour)

I did notice a few Americanisms. Sorry, I'm a Brit and so I tend to be annoyingly pedantic about such matters, but we wouldn't say or thing 'loose jean pants' - we'd just say 'jeans' and pants are underpants in UK, so you can see why I wondered if she was wearing much on her lower half. We also don;t use the term 'Buddy', the bus driver would probably say 'Mate' instead.

I noticed a discrepancy in the fic. At the beginning you say he's cursing Muggles for not giving him a driving licence, yet at the end he's complaining because he's waiting for his car to be repaired - so ... um ... is he driving illegally?

Sorry, that's very nitpicky of me. This story has a very interesting premis and I look forward to the updates and especially to see why Fred is working undercover. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Yes, I am a sad mixture of nationalities, having lived in several different countries. I spent most of my time in America, which explains my tendencies towards Americanisms, and I have spent zero time in England, which explains my lack of knowledge of your terms. So thank you for pointing them out. I would have remained ignorant otherwise and will attempt to fix it in the future. Wow, upon rereading it, I see now where I messed that up.....I did not mean to do that. I am glad you have enjoyed it so far and thank you so much for your feedback!

 

The Champion by Ginny Weasley Potter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: ‘Strong and silent’ Cedric Diggory recollects some of his past on the day of the final Triwizard task. So what insecurities are hidden below that handsome exterior? What imperfections could the ‘perfect’ Cedric Diggory probably have? After all, every human being has hopes and fears… as well as bad memories.

This is Cedric’s journey through the last day of his life right up to his very last second. Had he seen it all coming? Had somebody warned him? And why had he entered the Triwizard Tournament anyway— is there a story behind that too?

I am Ginny Weasley Potter and this is my submission for the First Hufflepuff Drabblethon.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 4370 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/27/11 Updated: 06/30/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/27/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This starts in a dramatic and mysterious way, Pooja. I love the fact that we launch straight into a dream, a dreadfully prophetic dream because we all know how things end for Cedric. I think the main problem with Cedric fics, is that they can get bogged down in the horrible foreknowledge we are party to that this boy is going to die and we’re powerless to stop it. Therefore, it takes something a bit different to jolt a story out of its usual gloom or heavy-handed irony. Because you start with his dream, I think you neatly escape any of these problems.

The breakfast scene with Cho and Luna is a good example of this. Cedric being more concerned for Cho’s OWL is a good example of how he cares for people and how he needs to distract himself from the task ahead and the dream that’s plaguing him. Typical that Luna’s there to cause him discomfort (really, she makes me want to shaker her with her at times).

The scene in the antechamber when he meets his parents is good, but I don’t think he’d have known who Bill Weasley was. Cedric was born in 1977, Bill in 1970, so he wouldn’t have seen him at Hogwarts, and he didn’t see him at the Quidditch World Cup because Bill, Charlie and Percy arrived later. I think it would have been better if Cedric had thought something like ‘a red-haired man that he could only assume was the twins oldest brother.’ I would use the twins here, rather than Ron, because he doesn’t know Ron at all but has a rivalry with Fred and George.

The trouble, I remember, with this challenge, was the way we had to use the prompts. For the vast majority of the story, I thought your use was seamless, and I was hard pushed to remember what the actual prompts were. However, when Cedric met up with Alcott Burke, I did falter a little because it came rather out of the blue. It’s a nice scene, but I don’t think it’s necessary to the story, so if you were to rewrite, then it might be advisable to remove this part. (This is actually the reason I never submitted my Justin story because I couldn’t get it to fit together with any credibility. Although you managed this far better than my attempt.) I was very pleased when you returned to the scene with Alcott because it gave him more credibility to be in the story.

He had also been appointed Prefect (the letter had arrived just a few days ago) and all his teachers expected him to score very well in his OWLs when he would take them in about a year.

I think this needs rewording because it makes it sound as if he’ll take his OWLs in the sixth year. I don’t think you need the ‘when he would take them in about a year’ because it sounds a bit clumsy. We all know when they take OWLs and we know that the prefect letters arrive just before they go back for their fifth year, so you’re telling us things we already know.

Larry was a horrible cousin. Poor Cedric, but this was great because it showed not everyone liked him. I would pick at Larry saying ‘Sheesh’ because it’s a very American word. This was a good part of the story, showing Cedric’s obligations and also the expectations his father pours on him.

I really like the relationship with Cho and the dreadful poems she writes. That was a lovely light-hearted interlude in the story that had me giggling and hopeful for them.

Your Cedric is quite different from mine. Essentially, I think we have the same man, but I don’t see him as that modest. Certainly, in the books he seems confident and not especially self-effacing. This isn’t to say Cedric is boastful and bigheaded, but, in my opinion, I think he knows his worth. He’s captain of the Hufflepuff team and a prefect, and I don’t think you get those badges if you’re too modest. I liked the fact in your story that the tournament was bringing this confidence out in him, but I’m not sure he was that insecure in the first place. But that’s our differing interpretations, so your opinion is just as valid as mine.

Oh, and you killed him. Well, you had to. What I really thought was good here, is that you didn’t go overboard with the death or make it overly sentimental. It was factual, but very poignant. And that made it much more powerful.

Well done on this exploration of Cedric, Pooja. ~Carole~

Author's Response: OMG, Carole, you left this review like half a year ago and I've been a total douche and a blob for not responding to it sooner. I'm so, so sorry about this! The dream wouldn't have been there if this weren't for the drabblethon, I guess so thanks to Terri, it came into the picture. :p I'm not a fan of these foreboding, prophecy-like pre-death experiences because on an average, no one gets a warning that they're about to die. I was slightly worried about this part being cliched and well... bad and now that you say it was good... I'm really relieved. :D The Cedric/Cho dynamic is scarece in GoF and we don't get to know much about hoe close they are until OotP where Cho gets annoying. I decided to put in some of that here... I think, I just wanted to make this a more light-hearted, non-angsty fic because frankly, I hate sad endings and if they have to be there I find it amongst my duties to put a smile on the readers' faces before the final blow. And Luna... well, she's annoying and strange and scary sometimes. >.< Hmm... I calculated Bill's age, but I obviously did it wrong now that you mention it. I will go back and make your changes ASAP (and again, I shouldn't have waited so long to do this, but I'm a douche. *curses self*) I will definitely take your suggestion, because you're always so awesome with those. :) And the Alcott thing. Well, yes. I didn't want it there. It wasn't... right and it didn't fit but I think I was greedy for points (but am not now :D). I will go through this entire story once again and edit it. Maybe even find a Beta and renew it entirely because I think it needs a bit of washing up. I'm planning to dedicate some time in the near future into re-doing my old stuff and making it more like a 20-year old's writing than that of a girl who was a teenager. :D As for the rewording and the Americanism, will keep that in mind too. The Larry part-- yes, I needed that because Cedric is a Canon Mary-Sue and I did not want a Mary-Sue in my story. Cedric's father is so typical, he makes me want to kill him and thank the heavens above that my parents are not like that. It's painful, it really is. And yes, I wondered if I should make Cedric insecure-- mainly because everyone thought he was calm and confident, but... I basically wanted to highlight the difference between what people thought he was and what he really was like. But him being confident from the beginning works too. We don't know anything about what ever went on in his head, so both these interpretations work well I guess. Ah. I killed him. >.< It was sad to let go of him, he's a sweetheart of a character and he really had me feeling super-sorry for him. But I don't believe in tear-jerkers since I touched fifteen. Until then, I was a stupid teenage girl and it all seemed good. Now tear-jerkers seem silly. I prefer few words and reaction. Thank you for that lovely review, Carole and Sorry that I'm so stupid for not responding earlier! *shoots self with gun*

Author's Response: OMG, Carole, you left this review like half a year ago and I've been a total douche and a blob for not responding to it sooner. I'm so, so sorry about this! The dream wouldn't have been there if this weren't for the drabblethon, I guess so thanks to Terri, it came into the picture. :p I'm not a fan of these foreboding, prophecy-like pre-death experiences because on an average, no one gets a warning that they're about to die. I was slightly worried about this part being cliched and well... bad and now that you say it was good... I'm really relieved. :D The Cedric/Cho dynamic is scarece in GoF and we don't get to know much about hoe close they are until OotP where Cho gets annoying. I decided to put in some of that here... I think, I just wanted to make this a more light-hearted, non-angsty fic because frankly, I hate sad endings and if they have to be there I find it amongst my duties to put a smile on the readers' faces before the final blow. And Luna... well, she's annoying and strange and scary sometimes. >.< Hmm... I calculated Bill's age, but I obviously did it wrong now that you mention it. I will go back and make your changes ASAP (and again, I shouldn't have waited so long to do this, but I'm a douche. *curses self*) I will definitely take your suggestion, because you're always so awesome with those. :) And the Alcott thing. Well, yes. I didn't want it there. It wasn't... right and it didn't fit but I think I was greedy for points (but am not now :D). I will go through this entire story once again and edit it. Maybe even find a Beta and renew it entirely because I think it needs a bit of washing up. I'm planning to dedicate some time in the near future into re-doing my old stuff and making it more like a 20-year old's writing than that of a girl who was a teenager. :D As for the rewording and the Americanism, will keep that in mind too. The Larry part-- yes, I needed that because Cedric is a Canon Mary-Sue and I did not want a Mary-Sue in my story. Cedric's father is so typical, he makes me want to kill him and thank the heavens above that my parents are not like that. It's painful, it really is. And yes, I wondered if I should make Cedric insecure-- mainly because everyone thought he was calm and confident, but... I basically wanted to highlight the difference between what people thought he was and what he really was like. But him being confident from the beginning works too. We don't know anything about what ever went on in his head, so both these interpretations work well I guess. Ah. I killed him. >.< It was sad to let go of him, he's a sweetheart of a character and he really had me feeling super-sorry for him. But I don't believe in tear-jerkers since I touched fifteen. Until then, I was a stupid teenage girl and it all seemed good. Now tear-jerkers seem silly. I prefer few words and reaction. Thank you for that lovely review, Carole and Sorry that I'm so stupid for not responding earlier! *shoots self with gun*

 

The Perfect Alibi by Russia Snow
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Recently, Muggles have noticed that small things are going missing. But these small things are getting bigger.

Something valuable has gone missing at Hogwarts. The teachers are somehow involved and no one seems to know the full story. Can Nina and Cleo figure out the answer before it's too late?

This is Russia Snow of Gryffindor writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt #1.

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 4106 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
06/27/11 Updated: 11/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Thief

Intriguing story, Russia. I like the way this is linked with the Muggle world as well as Hogwarts, it makes it far more mysterious.

There's a bit of an issue with spacing the paragraphs in the first part of the story, just thought I should mention it so you can correct.

And also these lines here ... Since then, the kitchen has been a regular jaunt for the two best friends, as well as the scene of many dates between Cleo and Anthony. Cleo has broken up with Anthony after she found out that, at last year’s Christmas ball, he had tried to kiss Nina, mistaking her for Cleo.

and . Professor Ashfield had assigned his class four feet on the transfiguration from birds to fish, which Nina has only just finished late the night before (and not without help from Cleo’s roughly scrawled class notes). you've switched to present tense with 'has' rather than 'had.'

*Finishes the nit pickiness and proceeds with the review.* The two girls are good characters. I love how Nina has the perfect body clock and yet ... something is wrong! Will be sure to read the updates Good mystery ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aww, thanks, Caroleeee =3 I've fixed the paragraph spacing now and the tense mistakes are just typos I think, thanks for spotting them =D I'm about to submit Chapter 2 now, so keep an eye out ;) xxx

 

Peace and Quiet by Simply Being
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: “And quite honestly,” he turned away from the painted portraits, thinking now only of the four-poster bed lying waiting for him in Gryffindor Tower, and wondering whether Kreacher might bring him a sandwich there, “I’ve had enough trouble for a life time.”*


In search of some peace and quiet, The Gryffindor boys are reunited after the Final Battle.


*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, page 749, American edition


Nominated for Best General Story in the Quicksilver Quills 2011!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2320 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/28/11 Updated: 07/04/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Awwww, lovely. Okay, I have to admit to giggling slightly over Dean and Seamus because in one of my fics they get up to something much naughtier than a kip - ha ha. Anyway, sorry, that's not important. I loved them all here. Those lovely lion-hearted boys needing, above all, to be together for possibly the last time that they thought they'd never see.

I seriously loved Neville giving the sword to Harry, but in a way, I wanted it to disappear again, or not let Neville let it go. Mind you, if you'd done that, then I wouldn't have read the lovely moment when Harry opens his eyes.

Then I laughed - I really did - at Ron shaking off his mum. Poor old Molly. Of COURSE she wants to cuddle and scold him. She hasn't seen him for nine months, but he wants sleep. (So glad you didn't make him think of food at that point- I would have throttled you!) I do have a bit of a criticism. Given what we know of the Battle and what had happened just before, I was surprised he gave up on the chance to be with Hermione, or left without saying anything to her. It just seems a bit odd that she's left there with the Weasleys and no one else. (sorry, will get back to being nice now)

I rally loved The Fat Lady, she's someone I adore writing - usually drunk or in a humorous way, but here you showed such a great side to her and the way the portraits huddled around each other offering support was a brilliant touch. As were there different reactions to her. Neville waiting to show her respect was lovely - I gulped a bit at that point.

Lovely story, Danielle and a great taster for DH part 2 :) ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks so much Carole! You're a sweetheart. After rereading DH I kind of felt like this was something I really wanted to see between all the Gryffindor boys. I get what you're saying about Ron wanting to be with Hermione, etc. In my head, when the boys decide to go up to Gryffindor Tower it's hours and hours after the battle. So again (in my head) I was thinking that Ron and Hermione had already been together for a while. I think I would have done better to express that it wasn't right after it happened. Thanks for the lovely comments and advice Carole, I appreciate it!

 

An Artful Dodge by minnabird
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Elaine Carrick is an apprentice to a magical art restorer. When she is given her first assignment without supervision, things go further awry than she could have guessed: the portrait is stolen right from under her nose. None of the other paintings were touched, and the thief was in and out in a matter of seconds.

Who could possibly have got past both Elaine and the locking spells on the studio undetected?

This story was written for Prompt 1 in the Mysterious May challenge, and it won first place in that category! It was also nominated for two QSQs in 2012 (Best General story and Best OC).

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3378 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/28/11 Updated: 06/30/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Artful Dodge

Oh very clever. Minna, this is a great story. I loved the depth you went into regarding the art restoration and also the way everything slotted together. The addiction to fast food, for instance, was not only a great detail but ensured she had Muggle money to pay the ice cream girl. Great OC's as well.

Sorry not a particularly good review, but I did really enjoy it.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing, Carole. =D Re: the ice cream girl - that actually wasn't planned at first. The scene popped into my head at work. And I'm glad you liked the OCs - and the fic itself. =D

 

I Fall by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Over fifty people died the night of the Battle at Hogwarts. Fifties stories that came to The End. This is one End that was written.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 102 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
06/29/11 Updated: 07/01/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Fall

WOW! Lisa, that's a fabulous poem. No, it's not a traditional tritina, but who cares!? This is lovely and really packs a punch. Very impressed.

Who is it? For some reason I think it's Colin :( but can't be sure. Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw, thanks Carole! That really means a lot to me. As for who it is, I'm not exactly sure. I was just thinking one of the students who decided to stay. It could've been Colin, I suppose. Thanks!

 

Lily's Eyes by XenaTwin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Just a short poem, about Lily... and Harry going to Hogwarts, from Snape's POV

Lily's Eyes has been nominated for the Best Poetry Quicksilver Quill award. Thanks so much for the nomination!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 142 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/29/11 Updated: 07/01/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Lily's Eyes

Hi there, I like your poem. You have a very good flow to it and the rhyming scheme doesn't seem at all forced. The subject matter is very sad, as well, and I can imagine the guilt he feels as Lily's eyes watch him.

You should check out Poetry Anyone? in The Great Hall on the beta boards - it's a lot of fun and there are some interesting challenges that you might enjoy. Anyway, enough of the plug. This was a good poem and I enjoyed reading it. You captured Snape's emotions very well. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it. I found Poetrry Anyone on the list of permission groups before I submitted this. I put in a request to join but have not yet been given access. Can't wait to check it out.

 

In Winter in My Head by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: One of Severus Snape's many nightmares.

Written for the Copycat Challenge, imitating Emily Dickenson's In Winter in My Room.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 243 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/02/11 Updated: 07/02/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Why haven't I seen this poem? Is it in PA? This is lovely and so darn powerful. I need to ask you, because I don't know the original and it could be to do with that, but why are certain words like Muscles capitalised. I'm not saying it's a fault AT ALL, I just wondered (runs away in case she's hit with the Zechad Hex)

Seriously this is a beautiful poem and very evocative.

There's a reason I'm not in SPEW - this review should give you a clue - hee hee hee hee.

Amazing. ~Carole~

Author's Response: What an inappropriate and zechadly review this is! I am completely bemused and do not know how to respond.

...

Heehee. This was my second entry for the Copycat Challenge. The capitalisations reflect those of the original, and I actually dunno why Dickinson capitalised hers. o.O Thanks for the lovely review, Croll! This may not be SPEWly, but it really brings a smile on my face, and is as cherished as a monstrous review!

~Natalie

 

Inch of Dust by the opaleye
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary: When George thinks of her, he thinks of Fred.

So, he tries not to think at all.

Nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award in Best Dark/Angsty, Best Canon Romance, and Best Post Hogwarts.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 2636 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/03/11 Updated: 07/05/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Inch of Dust.

And for the first time since he held his brother’s head in his lap, while the Great Hall erupted into chaos around him, all George remembers is Fred at his best, his most brilliant, his star shining bright enough to crack the sky. And at that point I filled up and tears fell from my eyes.

This is so stunningly beautiful. I am in utter awe of your lush writing and just the way you managed to conjure something so beautiful from the prompt.

Too jealous, must now crawl into a ball and zechad myself. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw thanks so much, Carole. I admit that I teared up when writing that last bit of the Luna section. I wouldn't zechad yourself too soon, however, because otherwise I will be very very annoyed if I have to wait any longer for a High update! Thanks again for the lovely review! -Julia xD

 

Funeral by Ascendio
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: The story of a funeral and the meaning of family.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2656 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/03/11 Updated: 07/08/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: Funeral

This was a touching story. I like reading fics from an unsympathetic characters' POV and Petunia is about as unsympathetic as you can get in the Potterverse, so good on you for choosing to write her.

You managed to elicit some sympathy from me for her because it was obvious that Lily and James' world was now coming between her and Vernon and she was struggling to hold it together. Plus, she would have had two very young toddlers to look after which must be hard work.

I think there's a small error in the timing of when she told Vernon that Lily was a witch. At the beginning of PS it seems clear to me that Vernon knows about their magic. He and Petunia try to ignore it, but it's pretty clear that they're suppressing that knowledge. He sees owls in the sky, people in cloaks and his thoughts drift to his SIL, so I'm pretty sure she told him way before Lily died about the other world.

I liked Remus here. We don't often see him at a total loss. Infact he's generally a reserved and private person, but under these circumstances (best friends dead or locked up) then yes, his actions seem in character. I really felt for the poor darling at that point (I am a huge Remus fan, though)

The ending was good. Her family are uppermost in her mind - prtecting Dudley is her only concern. Although I disagree soundly with her methods, there is a small part of me that can't fault her logic in the canon of this story. And although I suspect being normal played an equal role in her treatment of Harry, her families safety probably played a strong part, too.

Interesting take on Petunia. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, yes I knew Vernon finding out then wasn't right as I reread PS this week yet I had already sent it in for validation and didn't feel like editing it. Perhaps I'll go back and change it later. Thanks for reading!

 

Smoke and Mirrors by Padfoot11333
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Pius Thicknesse is under the Imperius Curse. When it is lifted, he feels the course of his actions.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1065 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/11/11 Updated: 07/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi there. I clicked on this because it the summary was intriguing and I like reading about characters who you're never quite sure about. Pius Thicknesse is someonw who I do imagine getting seduced by the Dark Side because it offered him power and even though he was under the Imperius Curse, he wouldn't have fought it much. I like how you've portrayed this as him being in a cloud of smoke. I would have liked the story to be longer, maybe exploring some of his other deeds when he was Minister, but that's the only criticism (if it can be called criticism) that I have. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hi, Thanks for the review. I didn't think I'd seen a story like this and I decided to write it. Originally it was over 5000 words, but rereading before submission I realised it sounded forced. But who knows; maybe there'll be a Part Two. Glad you liked it. ~Lily~

 

Blurred Vision by FawkesToTheRescue
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary:

Times are tough at Hogwarts, and Cho and Colin have different views about how the Battle will end.

Mucho thanks to TM_Wandstick for the AMAZING plot bunny. I did a bad job with it, but it was a real good plot.



Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death

Word count: 1110 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/16/11 Updated: 07/25/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/26/11 Title: Chapter 1: Memories

First of all I shall start off by saying that you have some really lovely imagery here, and Cho's feelings are very evocative. The end where she sees Colin dead is really rather sad, and I'm pleased you chose to depict a friendship on her side rather than a romance, although I think it very possible that Colin would have had a little crush on her, which you very nicely hinted at.

I wanted to comment on the plot bunny when it appeared on the boards, but didn't at the time. So, I shall comment here. Unfortunately, Colin and Cho were not at Hogwarts for that year. Cho was a year older than Harry so had left, and Colin - being a Muggleborn - would not have been allowed to attend Hogwarts and was probably on the run. There's no real explanation here as to why they're at Hogwarts together. In canon, both came back to the RoR because they had Galleons and were alerted by Neville's message.

All that said, this is a touching piece, but I think it would have worked better if you'd used a different couple. Sorry, that's rather negative and I know you were using someone else's bunny, but for me, as a canon fiend, it didn't ring true. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Thanks Carole! I don't know HOW that never occured to me. Oh well. I added a 'book 7 disregarded' tag, if that fixes anything. But thanks for the compliments.

MeganFAwkes

 

Summary: Five moments where Ginny Weasley helps Harry and the others during their Horcrux search and in the final battle, without anyone realizing. Set during DH and based on canon events, these are a series of missing moments revealing Ginny's vital hidden role.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 12215 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
07/17/11 Updated: 03/01/12


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Wedding

Oh, I like this idea very much probably because I really like missing moments fics, and you've chosen an interesting character. We all know Ginny is fiery and feisty, but here you've made her deeper and she has such an intense desire to do her bit, which is just how she should be.

I did like how you had her scream which distracted Molly. For one moment I thought she was going to hex her, and that wouldn't have been quite right.

Look forward to the next chapter. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for your review Carole, missing moments fics are my favorite too--I like the extra challenge of trying to work within canon yet still come up with something new. I just added the next chapter so it should be up soon. Thanks again!

 

Lacuna Mentis by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThere were blind spots in his mind. They said he might recover the lost memories; they also said there was a high possibility he might not. Along came a girl, and everything changed.

Warning: This story is originally rated Professors, for the bunch of warning tags applicable to it. The rating has been changed temporarily only because we're having some technical problem with stories that have higher ratings. So, please click at your own discretion.

This story is written for ToBeOrNot..../Jess, my close friend and one of the most gifted writers I know. O Believer of Rarepairs, this is my fluff-free, dark and angsty present for you.

Winner of this year's QSQ Best Dark/Angsty and nominated for Best General!

DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K.Rowling. I highly doubt she ships this ship.

PLEASE DO NOT READ THE REVIEWS before reading the fic.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 10460 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/11 Updated: 07/19/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOH wowowowowowow. Amazing writing, Natalie. OOOP's sorry, I'm trespassing on Jess' present, but I need to leave a review even if it is barely coherent.

Hmm, I'm suspicious about that book. And I'm also suspicious of Parvati - or perhaps Padma - he certainly seems to remember one of them. Are they blaming him for Lavender's death? (BY THE WAY SHE'S NOT DEAD!!!)

Okay proper review, starting here (sort of). This really is an incredibly clever and well written story. A mystery but also a lyrical D/A piece. I love the other side of Theo here, he's coming alive as I read him (although he's gay as well, but i think I'm the only person who thinks that). You have a lot of great moments and lines in this story 'painful bliss', So cool, so soft, so sweet to kiss' - exquisite lines that make me sigh reading them.

Poor Theo, I can't help feeling something horrible is going to happen to him, but maybe he deserves it - who can tell?

Sorry, bad review, but a glorious story. Can't wait for the rest. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Not a bad review! I love getting reviews from you. I am happy to hear you found it both mysterious and lyrical. Theo's sexuality is an interesting case, of course. And as for Lavender, :'(.

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/19/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Noooooooooooooooooo. Oh, poo, I don;t want to discuss the whole fic and give away 'poilers because I know some people (ginacoughcough) read the reviews first - ha ha ha. Okay, let me just say that this is fabulosa! I love it. So clever, complex but above all bloody well written and researched (wow, who is your Latin professor?)

Um .... I think Jess will bloody adore this, so well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: YAY! No poilers for Gina, though she eventually got them hahaha. My Latin Professor is a mysterious male who goes by the name of "DH". Thanks for the reviews and the nomination!

greetz

~Natalie

 

Bracelets by armagod679
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Lavender Brown: gossip, fashion queen, boy crazy. But she also weaves bracelets from thread. Bracelets that let her forget gossip, that make her fashionable, and that save her from the pain of boys... and everything else.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 1692 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/11 Updated: 07/26/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: Embroidery Thread

I like the theme of this fic. The weaving of the bracelets weaves its way through the story and gives Lavender a kind of resilience that most fanfiction writers tend to ignore. Lavender is one of my favourite characters - I kinda champion her - and I hate it when she's ONLY portrayed as shallow and boy-crazy. What has worked here is that you haven't ignored that gossipy side to her, but you have reiterated that it's normal. She is a normal teenage girl - much as Parvati and Ginny are (in terms of boyfriends that is).

I do have to quibble on some things that really stuck out for me.

He just wanted a piece of ass and once he had that…” - Sorry, that is such an American turn of phrase that it really sat awkwardly with me. I would change to something like 'He just wanted a grope.'

The other thing is that you have Lavender as a Muggleborn. According to JKR's class notes, she's a pureblood. Even if you don't consider additional information as canon (which is fair enough), she can't have been a Muggleborn if she attended Hogwarts in her final year. She'd have been in hiding or on the run like the Creeveys were. (Colin came back when the Galleon called him).

The ending was sad, but also optimistic. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I like Lavender, too-- she's a very under served character and needed her own story. Sorry about the American-ism. It's the term I know and I'll look into changing it. I checked the Lexicon before writing this and Steve and his staff agree with me. JKR's notes say Lavender was a pureblood but some of the hints in the books-- not knowing what the Grim was for example-- indicate that Lavender hasn't grown up in the Wizarding world. And you're right, I usually don't use interviews as canon because I tend to miss all of them. Thanks again for reading!

 

Mum by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 27]

Summary:

There's something Lily's been waiting to hear since Harry said his first word.

Written in anticipation for Deathly Hallows, part two.

Nominated for the 2011 Best Dark/Angsty QSQ. Thank you, Maple!

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1853 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/19/11 Updated: 07/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/31/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Oh, Lisa, this is so beautiful. About the only moment in the last film that made me cry was when Lily appeared and the whole scene at Godric's Hollow when she's saying 'Mummy loves you.' This is a beautiful way of echoing that moment.

Ughh, I hate Petunis so much. *controls rage* I love, however, the way you showed how compassionate and loving Harry is despite getting no love from his relatives. The early love saved him from more than just Voldemort.

Second person isn't a POV I like very much. It tends to be quite hectoring to my ears, yet I soon got into this despite the initial concerns. I think that's because I could relate to Lily.

Lovely story. Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you, Carole! I agree about Petunia. She... grr. I'm not going to go there.

I usually don't write second person, and I don't often read it, either, but for some reason this story wouldn't come out in first or third. *shrug* I'm glad you were able to get past it. Thanks again!

 

Summary: Past Featured StoryWe knew, though she’d not said a word, that even the best of love must die, and had been savagely undone. - W.B. Yeats

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 6572 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
07/23/11 Updated: 08/14/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Animagi

This is a good story. I like the way you've portrayed all the Marauders and not fallen into the trap of making Peter a total tag-a-long. His feelings of disappointment when he turns into a rat are very on the money as are James' attempts to placate him and the surprise that Sirius comes up with the best reason for being a rat. Remus, too, was great. His low self-esteem and reliance on his friends was nicely portrayed.

I think you have a small timeline issue - but it's not much. In POA, Remus says that when his friends discovered he was a werewolf, they took the best part of three years learning to become Animagi. The achieved this in their fifth year. So that puts their discovery in year two. It's very, very minor, but just thought I'd mention it.

Look forward to next chapter. ~Carole~

 

The Orange Cat by SaboteurVictory
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: We all know Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger met at Hogwarts, became best friends, saved the world, fell in love, and got married.

But did they really meet for the very first time on the Hogwarts Express, or was there perhaps another moment in time, long forgotten by the time they turned eleven?

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1955 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/01/11 Updated: 08/11/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Your Eighth Birthday...

I very much like the idea of this. Ron's magic coming through late is an intriguing idea, and I love all the other memories - especially Percy's book multiplying. That's really inventive. The fact that Ron and Hermione met before is rather clever, although I can't help feeling that while Ron would probably have forgotten, Hermione would have remembered a family all with red hair. She strikes me as sharp, so that made me ponder a little.

I have a bit of a nitpick at the beginning where you seem to have switched tenses. You start of in present tense 'It is an important day' etc etc.and then switch to past. The final lines of that last section

Mum had made you an extra birthday cake to celebrate you becoming a wizard. is then written in past perfect. You might want to look at altering this so it's all past tense.

The flash forward scene is very sweet. I love the touches of Ron feeding Hugo, Rose ignoring her vegetables, and Ron not knowing how to sign for a parcel - ha ha. Your characterisation was very good and I'm especially pleased you resisted the urge to make Ron a total oaf, which seems to be the fashion atm.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! And thanks for pointing out the tense change; it's funny how that kind of thing has always been a struggle of mine. I do agree that Hermione might have been sharp enough to remember a family with all-red hair, but I sort of pondered that while I wrote. Hermione first only met Ron, and then sort of gradually came across the rest of his family during her train ride and then at the feast, and at the time, there were only 4 Weasley boys at Hogwarts. So it could easily be that without the appearance of the whole family at once, it might not have jogged her memory of when she was eight. Again, thank you for the review!

 
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