Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

Raindrops by Gmariam
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 248]

Summary:

He returned with a quiet sadness and a surprising new responsibility to keep him focused. She returned with a misplaced bitterness and the matching position that forced them to work with one another. Yet fear, resentment, and stubborn arrogance kept pushing them apart, even when they were meant to be together.
Winner, Quicksilver Quill for Best Canon Romance. Thank you!!


Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 88679 Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/20/11 Updated: 12/20/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/03/11 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter Fourteen

Awww, lovely kiss. This is a great Chapter, Gina. At last they're finally seeing each for who they really are. This is a beautiful moment, and I can quite see how it inspired the rest of your story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole! I'm so glad you found a chance to come back and read a bit of this, it means a lot to me. I think you've probably seen the pic in one of our art chats. I really loved the artwork and still really like this moment for them...even if it doesn't work out right away, lol. It really did kick off the whole story, and look where its gone-my longest one yet! Thanks again for reading and for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Yeah, looosen up, Evans, you horrible girl. UGHH! Don;t like her much at the moment, although having snogged (and possibly shagged) and relative of Vernon's I can see she's suffering from PTSD. That was a good detail, btw. She's not quite so perfect and in control, is she? Serioulsy, I can see they're all suffering from the incident the year before and poor dead Kieran. But really, give James a break. HIS MUM HAS DIED!

Ha - see you've got me all riled and involved in the story. Well done, Ginaaaaaaaaaa! ~Carole~

Author's Response: That's sort of what Lea said, about not liking Lily. :) But you've caught on exactly to what I was getting at with that guy at the wedding, so thanks for that. Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three

Hi there. First off ... Stick that in your cauldron and boil it. that line had me roaring my head off very loudly. Very inventive turn of phrase, Gina. (Edit:OOOH, it was from Lea)

All in all, I am really enjoying the twists and turns of this story, although I did get confused at the change in POV and thought you'd made an error and had copied and pasted parts of the previous conversation. I realised what you were doing, of course, and also remembered a past convo we'd had, but ... I'm not sure it quite works. I think what I'd do is not repeat the conversation at the beginning of her POV, but maybe start from her locking herself in the bathroom, a line of his conversation coming back to her (the line about Anastasia having taste, perhaps) and then launch into Lily remembering the horror of the wedding. That was scary, btw, and I really empathised with Lily at that point. It was a minor flaw, however, and probably no one else would be confused like me, but I thought I'd mention it.

Oh and hell, I hate myself for this, but James calling her a twat is pretty offensive for a boy to call a girl. It does mean female parts (ahem) but is generally aimed at men and is considered funny, but at a girl it's not as funny.I know she can't hear it and he's exasperated with her, but I think Remus would give him a look, or something. Or change to 'cow' or 'bitch', but then I don't find those words that offensive and others (including my kids - ha ha) do.

Um ... sorry, that all sounds rather negative and I don't mean to be because I'm genuinely enjoying this story and can't wait for the rest. The Slytherins are great. Not cardboard cutout villains, but fully rounded and still evil - hee hee.

Get this finished! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hi Carole! Thanks for the in depth review. I appreciate your opinion - even if I disagree. :) Although, I don't disagree completely, to be honest. I'm not sure how I feel about the repetition of certain things either, but I did think showing things from both POV would flesh out a mutual encounter a bit. Plus, I really needed to show different things happening to them, but at the same time - particularly, James running into Avery outside while Lily was with Mark inside. As for James and that word - yes, you've mentioned that you don't like it. Yet James is really ticked at her, and he's not saying it to her face. And you know how much I struggle with my British insults! ;) Really, if that's the only thing you've picked on here, I'm thrilled. I thought for sure there would be more, lol. And it wasn't what I had there originally, only my first choice was misspelled and not quite vehement enough anyway. I'm glad you liked Lea's phrase, since we couldn't use the one we wanted, lol! And I'm glad you are still reading and enjoying the story. Thanks so much for the review!! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/22/11 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

awww, this is a lovely chapter, but also pretty sad.

"You started it!" she called back, knowing it was immature. He turned back to her, his head cocked sideways as he looked up at her. "And you've ended it. 'Night, Lily." He walked away, leaving her confused once more. She thought his shoulders seemed a bit more slumped, but perhaps she was only imagining it. She decided to give it one last try. That conversation there is really poignant and I'm really sad for James. Hmm, speaking of James - you've hurt him again! really, Gina, I thought you had a crush on the guy and yet he's suffering again *sigh*. Natalie will not be happy.

The conversation with Snape was great. I find it unlikely they never spoke again as they'd bump into each other and it must be hard giving up that habit after everything they shared, even after the Mudblood incident.

Lily really is getting het up by Anastasia - ha ha ha - get over it love!

Right, get on with the next chapter. I need my Marauder J/L fix.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Hm, yes, there are some sad things, left unsaid, I suppose. I'm glad you picked that out of their conversations. And I'm glad you didn't find Snape too random. I agree, they must have had some contact, and I'm sure it was hard for them. Thank you so much for the lovely review. I've just sent Lea the next chapter but I'm worried it won't live up to expectations after the amazing reviews from you and Lori! I hope you continue to enjoy where this tale goes - thanks again! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One

Gina!!! Lovely approach to this. I am really intrigued by the backstory, so I demand you tell us what happened in Hogsmeade.

Remus is sweet in this. (I suspect a certain person's influence *scowls*) and James is sadly baleful. But I think you've excelled yourself with Lily. She is snarky and also witty, but bad tempered enough to make me want to shake some sense into her. James is LOVELY. Give him a chance!

Look forward to reading more. (Oh, and I'm not getting my favourite authors updates atm. I didn't get Jess' story either.)

Thanks for another classic. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for coming by to read this, Carole. I'm glad you liked the beginning. I have to admit, I wasn't sure whether to plunge into this idea or write that bit in Hogsmeade, so hopefully I'll be able to write that someday as it is a backstory I'd like to tell. Lea said something similar about Lily but the next chapter does get into her mean spirited attitude a bit. I don't know about another classic, but I had to give it another go because they are my OTP. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/09/11 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter Ten

No no no. I will be away so can't read next week (although the kindle could well work, so you never know.) Great story. Sirius is coming over all deep - ha ha. And poor Mark - can he get together with Cynthia? ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/14/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four

I love this chapter. The banter is brilliant, especially at the end when they're planning the party.

I could go through this and point out my favourite bits but actually that's too difficult. Okay, I'll have a go. For me, my favourite part is the way you've caught James. I love the fact that he hates the others being his 'bodyguards' and also that you've shown so brilliantly the bonds between the four of them. Peter is excellent. Not muttering darkly in corners but a full Marauder who has worries like the rest of them. I love Sirius, too. (Who is his mystery girl - or is it a boy? 0-0)

Gina, this is one of the best chaptered Marauder/ JamesLily stories I've read because it has a plot, back story and very genuine interractions between the characters. Brilliant. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Wow, thanks Carole. I really appreciate the review. I don't know if it's quite that brilliant, but I'm glad I've got some things down right, lol. I do like writing James. The mystery girl is not a boy, no, lol - but she has appeared before, thanks to you. *whistles innocently* I don't know if she'll appear again, but I've set it up in case I need it. I could say so much more but that would give away the magic so I won't. Thanks for reading, and a tremendous thanks for the nomination! I hope you enjoy the next parts, I will tell you there are some interesting things planned and it will be my longest yet...Thanks!! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/20/11 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Six

Awww, noooo, Madam Pomfrey spoils the moment. Gina, that was an amazing chapter. The flashback to Hogsmeade lived far beyond the high expectations that I had for it. I'm so entranced with this story. It is superb. I think I particulalrly like Remus in this. Too often it's Sirius and James together, but here Remus has a much more prominent role.

I like your OC's - Anastasia is making me laugh because I think I've known a few girls like her. Mark is lovely, but I feel a bit sorry for him. he's been dealt a marked hand given what we know of James and Lily.

Keep writing!!!!! hee hee ~Carole~

Author's Response: Oooh, yes - I feel bad for Mark too. Not Anastasia. Glad you like Remus, not sure how he took the lead other than he probably spent a bit more time with James seventh year since he was a prefect and James was Head Boy. And Sirius is off with someone else who may or may not appear (and no, it's not you, lol) I'm so very glad the Hogsmeade bit lived up to your expectations. I'm still not entirely sure if this was the place for it, but this is where it put itself. It will be fun to write someday. :) Thanks so much for continuing to read this - and of course I'm going to keep writing! I couldn't stop even if I wanted to! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/07/11 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

awwwwww, James is so lovely. I seriously want to hug him, and then find Lily and shake some sense into her.

Love the bit with Anastasia. That is the sort of situation that girls get trapped into, but *sigh*, she doesn't learn.

My favourite is the part with Sirius. There's really something going on with the boy and James is only just realising. The banter was perfect. And yay they're going for a run.

I love this story even though it's messing with my head canon. Curse you, Gina Gmariam!

Love you really, Carole.

 

The Web We Weave by Black_Beret
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Fred Weasley, a young man now, is nothing like his father, George Weasley. Indeed, he has his grandfather's interest in Muggles and his Uncle Percy's serious attitude towards life, but from his father, he had nothing but the crooked grin.

Fred, who works undercover in the Muggle world as the lawyer Derek Sharp and defends his own kind in the Muggle system, has no interest in his family or the life he used to lead. His tragic past, however, refuses to leave him alone, as does a certain Muggle in a yellow raincoat. All too soon, his two worlds become hopelessly intertwined in a tangled mess, leaving him with two options- leave the Muggle world, his job, and the stangest woman he has ever met, or turn his back on the wizarding world, and it's laws, and throw it all to the wind.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1997 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
06/25/11 Updated: 07/12/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Girl in the Yellow Raincoat

Hi there, I was intrigued by your summary, so thought I would give your story a whirl especially as Fred jnr is such an underwritten character and yours sounds original. You immediately drew me in with your opening paragraphs and the girl with the yellow raincoat sounds suitably mysterious (I'm thinking a Luna connection because of the colour)

I did notice a few Americanisms. Sorry, I'm a Brit and so I tend to be annoyingly pedantic about such matters, but we wouldn't say or thing 'loose jean pants' - we'd just say 'jeans' and pants are underpants in UK, so you can see why I wondered if she was wearing much on her lower half. We also don;t use the term 'Buddy', the bus driver would probably say 'Mate' instead.

I noticed a discrepancy in the fic. At the beginning you say he's cursing Muggles for not giving him a driving licence, yet at the end he's complaining because he's waiting for his car to be repaired - so ... um ... is he driving illegally?

Sorry, that's very nitpicky of me. This story has a very interesting premis and I look forward to the updates and especially to see why Fred is working undercover. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! Yes, I am a sad mixture of nationalities, having lived in several different countries. I spent most of my time in America, which explains my tendencies towards Americanisms, and I have spent zero time in England, which explains my lack of knowledge of your terms. So thank you for pointing them out. I would have remained ignorant otherwise and will attempt to fix it in the future. Wow, upon rereading it, I see now where I messed that up.....I did not mean to do that. I am glad you have enjoyed it so far and thank you so much for your feedback!

 

The Champion by Ginny Weasley Potter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: ‘Strong and silent’ Cedric Diggory recollects some of his past on the day of the final Triwizard task. So what insecurities are hidden below that handsome exterior? What imperfections could the ‘perfect’ Cedric Diggory probably have? After all, every human being has hopes and fears… as well as bad memories.

This is Cedric’s journey through the last day of his life right up to his very last second. Had he seen it all coming? Had somebody warned him? And why had he entered the Triwizard Tournament anyway— is there a story behind that too?

I am Ginny Weasley Potter and this is my submission for the First Hufflepuff Drabblethon.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 4370 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/27/11 Updated: 06/30/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/27/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This starts in a dramatic and mysterious way, Pooja. I love the fact that we launch straight into a dream, a dreadfully prophetic dream because we all know how things end for Cedric. I think the main problem with Cedric fics, is that they can get bogged down in the horrible foreknowledge we are party to that this boy is going to die and we’re powerless to stop it. Therefore, it takes something a bit different to jolt a story out of its usual gloom or heavy-handed irony. Because you start with his dream, I think you neatly escape any of these problems.

The breakfast scene with Cho and Luna is a good example of this. Cedric being more concerned for Cho’s OWL is a good example of how he cares for people and how he needs to distract himself from the task ahead and the dream that’s plaguing him. Typical that Luna’s there to cause him discomfort (really, she makes me want to shaker her with her at times).

The scene in the antechamber when he meets his parents is good, but I don’t think he’d have known who Bill Weasley was. Cedric was born in 1977, Bill in 1970, so he wouldn’t have seen him at Hogwarts, and he didn’t see him at the Quidditch World Cup because Bill, Charlie and Percy arrived later. I think it would have been better if Cedric had thought something like ‘a red-haired man that he could only assume was the twins oldest brother.’ I would use the twins here, rather than Ron, because he doesn’t know Ron at all but has a rivalry with Fred and George.

The trouble, I remember, with this challenge, was the way we had to use the prompts. For the vast majority of the story, I thought your use was seamless, and I was hard pushed to remember what the actual prompts were. However, when Cedric met up with Alcott Burke, I did falter a little because it came rather out of the blue. It’s a nice scene, but I don’t think it’s necessary to the story, so if you were to rewrite, then it might be advisable to remove this part. (This is actually the reason I never submitted my Justin story because I couldn’t get it to fit together with any credibility. Although you managed this far better than my attempt.) I was very pleased when you returned to the scene with Alcott because it gave him more credibility to be in the story.

He had also been appointed Prefect (the letter had arrived just a few days ago) and all his teachers expected him to score very well in his OWLs when he would take them in about a year.

I think this needs rewording because it makes it sound as if he’ll take his OWLs in the sixth year. I don’t think you need the ‘when he would take them in about a year’ because it sounds a bit clumsy. We all know when they take OWLs and we know that the prefect letters arrive just before they go back for their fifth year, so you’re telling us things we already know.

Larry was a horrible cousin. Poor Cedric, but this was great because it showed not everyone liked him. I would pick at Larry saying ‘Sheesh’ because it’s a very American word. This was a good part of the story, showing Cedric’s obligations and also the expectations his father pours on him.

I really like the relationship with Cho and the dreadful poems she writes. That was a lovely light-hearted interlude in the story that had me giggling and hopeful for them.

Your Cedric is quite different from mine. Essentially, I think we have the same man, but I don’t see him as that modest. Certainly, in the books he seems confident and not especially self-effacing. This isn’t to say Cedric is boastful and bigheaded, but, in my opinion, I think he knows his worth. He’s captain of the Hufflepuff team and a prefect, and I don’t think you get those badges if you’re too modest. I liked the fact in your story that the tournament was bringing this confidence out in him, but I’m not sure he was that insecure in the first place. But that’s our differing interpretations, so your opinion is just as valid as mine.

Oh, and you killed him. Well, you had to. What I really thought was good here, is that you didn’t go overboard with the death or make it overly sentimental. It was factual, but very poignant. And that made it much more powerful.

Well done on this exploration of Cedric, Pooja. ~Carole~

Author's Response: OMG, Carole, you left this review like half a year ago and I've been a total douche and a blob for not responding to it sooner. I'm so, so sorry about this! The dream wouldn't have been there if this weren't for the drabblethon, I guess so thanks to Terri, it came into the picture. :p I'm not a fan of these foreboding, prophecy-like pre-death experiences because on an average, no one gets a warning that they're about to die. I was slightly worried about this part being cliched and well... bad and now that you say it was good... I'm really relieved. :D The Cedric/Cho dynamic is scarece in GoF and we don't get to know much about hoe close they are until OotP where Cho gets annoying. I decided to put in some of that here... I think, I just wanted to make this a more light-hearted, non-angsty fic because frankly, I hate sad endings and if they have to be there I find it amongst my duties to put a smile on the readers' faces before the final blow. And Luna... well, she's annoying and strange and scary sometimes. >.< Hmm... I calculated Bill's age, but I obviously did it wrong now that you mention it. I will go back and make your changes ASAP (and again, I shouldn't have waited so long to do this, but I'm a douche. *curses self*) I will definitely take your suggestion, because you're always so awesome with those. :) And the Alcott thing. Well, yes. I didn't want it there. It wasn't... right and it didn't fit but I think I was greedy for points (but am not now :D). I will go through this entire story once again and edit it. Maybe even find a Beta and renew it entirely because I think it needs a bit of washing up. I'm planning to dedicate some time in the near future into re-doing my old stuff and making it more like a 20-year old's writing than that of a girl who was a teenager. :D As for the rewording and the Americanism, will keep that in mind too. The Larry part-- yes, I needed that because Cedric is a Canon Mary-Sue and I did not want a Mary-Sue in my story. Cedric's father is so typical, he makes me want to kill him and thank the heavens above that my parents are not like that. It's painful, it really is. And yes, I wondered if I should make Cedric insecure-- mainly because everyone thought he was calm and confident, but... I basically wanted to highlight the difference between what people thought he was and what he really was like. But him being confident from the beginning works too. We don't know anything about what ever went on in his head, so both these interpretations work well I guess. Ah. I killed him. >.< It was sad to let go of him, he's a sweetheart of a character and he really had me feeling super-sorry for him. But I don't believe in tear-jerkers since I touched fifteen. Until then, I was a stupid teenage girl and it all seemed good. Now tear-jerkers seem silly. I prefer few words and reaction. Thank you for that lovely review, Carole and Sorry that I'm so stupid for not responding earlier! *shoots self with gun*

Author's Response: OMG, Carole, you left this review like half a year ago and I've been a total douche and a blob for not responding to it sooner. I'm so, so sorry about this! The dream wouldn't have been there if this weren't for the drabblethon, I guess so thanks to Terri, it came into the picture. :p I'm not a fan of these foreboding, prophecy-like pre-death experiences because on an average, no one gets a warning that they're about to die. I was slightly worried about this part being cliched and well... bad and now that you say it was good... I'm really relieved. :D The Cedric/Cho dynamic is scarece in GoF and we don't get to know much about hoe close they are until OotP where Cho gets annoying. I decided to put in some of that here... I think, I just wanted to make this a more light-hearted, non-angsty fic because frankly, I hate sad endings and if they have to be there I find it amongst my duties to put a smile on the readers' faces before the final blow. And Luna... well, she's annoying and strange and scary sometimes. >.< Hmm... I calculated Bill's age, but I obviously did it wrong now that you mention it. I will go back and make your changes ASAP (and again, I shouldn't have waited so long to do this, but I'm a douche. *curses self*) I will definitely take your suggestion, because you're always so awesome with those. :) And the Alcott thing. Well, yes. I didn't want it there. It wasn't... right and it didn't fit but I think I was greedy for points (but am not now :D). I will go through this entire story once again and edit it. Maybe even find a Beta and renew it entirely because I think it needs a bit of washing up. I'm planning to dedicate some time in the near future into re-doing my old stuff and making it more like a 20-year old's writing than that of a girl who was a teenager. :D As for the rewording and the Americanism, will keep that in mind too. The Larry part-- yes, I needed that because Cedric is a Canon Mary-Sue and I did not want a Mary-Sue in my story. Cedric's father is so typical, he makes me want to kill him and thank the heavens above that my parents are not like that. It's painful, it really is. And yes, I wondered if I should make Cedric insecure-- mainly because everyone thought he was calm and confident, but... I basically wanted to highlight the difference between what people thought he was and what he really was like. But him being confident from the beginning works too. We don't know anything about what ever went on in his head, so both these interpretations work well I guess. Ah. I killed him. >.< It was sad to let go of him, he's a sweetheart of a character and he really had me feeling super-sorry for him. But I don't believe in tear-jerkers since I touched fifteen. Until then, I was a stupid teenage girl and it all seemed good. Now tear-jerkers seem silly. I prefer few words and reaction. Thank you for that lovely review, Carole and Sorry that I'm so stupid for not responding earlier! *shoots self with gun*

 

The Perfect Alibi by Russia Snow
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Recently, Muggles have noticed that small things are going missing. But these small things are getting bigger.

Something valuable has gone missing at Hogwarts. The teachers are somehow involved and no one seems to know the full story. Can Nina and Cleo figure out the answer before it's too late?

This is Russia Snow of Gryffindor writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt #1.

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 4106 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
06/27/11 Updated: 11/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Thief

Intriguing story, Russia. I like the way this is linked with the Muggle world as well as Hogwarts, it makes it far more mysterious.

There's a bit of an issue with spacing the paragraphs in the first part of the story, just thought I should mention it so you can correct.

And also these lines here ... Since then, the kitchen has been a regular jaunt for the two best friends, as well as the scene of many dates between Cleo and Anthony. Cleo has broken up with Anthony after she found out that, at last year’s Christmas ball, he had tried to kiss Nina, mistaking her for Cleo.

and . Professor Ashfield had assigned his class four feet on the transfiguration from birds to fish, which Nina has only just finished late the night before (and not without help from Cleo’s roughly scrawled class notes). you've switched to present tense with 'has' rather than 'had.'

*Finishes the nit pickiness and proceeds with the review.* The two girls are good characters. I love how Nina has the perfect body clock and yet ... something is wrong! Will be sure to read the updates Good mystery ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aww, thanks, Caroleeee =3 I've fixed the paragraph spacing now and the tense mistakes are just typos I think, thanks for spotting them =D I'm about to submit Chapter 2 now, so keep an eye out ;) xxx

 

Peace and Quiet by Simply Being
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: “And quite honestly,” he turned away from the painted portraits, thinking now only of the four-poster bed lying waiting for him in Gryffindor Tower, and wondering whether Kreacher might bring him a sandwich there, “I’ve had enough trouble for a life time.”*


In search of some peace and quiet, The Gryffindor boys are reunited after the Final Battle.


*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, page 749, American edition


Nominated for Best General Story in the Quicksilver Quills 2011!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2320 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/28/11 Updated: 07/04/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Awwww, lovely. Okay, I have to admit to giggling slightly over Dean and Seamus because in one of my fics they get up to something much naughtier than a kip - ha ha. Anyway, sorry, that's not important. I loved them all here. Those lovely lion-hearted boys needing, above all, to be together for possibly the last time that they thought they'd never see.

I seriously loved Neville giving the sword to Harry, but in a way, I wanted it to disappear again, or not let Neville let it go. Mind you, if you'd done that, then I wouldn't have read the lovely moment when Harry opens his eyes.

Then I laughed - I really did - at Ron shaking off his mum. Poor old Molly. Of COURSE she wants to cuddle and scold him. She hasn't seen him for nine months, but he wants sleep. (So glad you didn't make him think of food at that point- I would have throttled you!) I do have a bit of a criticism. Given what we know of the Battle and what had happened just before, I was surprised he gave up on the chance to be with Hermione, or left without saying anything to her. It just seems a bit odd that she's left there with the Weasleys and no one else. (sorry, will get back to being nice now)

I rally loved The Fat Lady, she's someone I adore writing - usually drunk or in a humorous way, but here you showed such a great side to her and the way the portraits huddled around each other offering support was a brilliant touch. As were there different reactions to her. Neville waiting to show her respect was lovely - I gulped a bit at that point.

Lovely story, Danielle and a great taster for DH part 2 :) ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks so much Carole! You're a sweetheart. After rereading DH I kind of felt like this was something I really wanted to see between all the Gryffindor boys. I get what you're saying about Ron wanting to be with Hermione, etc. In my head, when the boys decide to go up to Gryffindor Tower it's hours and hours after the battle. So again (in my head) I was thinking that Ron and Hermione had already been together for a while. I think I would have done better to express that it wasn't right after it happened. Thanks for the lovely comments and advice Carole, I appreciate it!

 

An Artful Dodge by minnabird
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Elaine Carrick is an apprentice to a magical art restorer. When she is given her first assignment without supervision, things go further awry than she could have guessed: the portrait is stolen right from under her nose. None of the other paintings were touched, and the thief was in and out in a matter of seconds.

Who could possibly have got past both Elaine and the locking spells on the studio undetected?

This story was written for Prompt 1 in the Mysterious May challenge, and it won first place in that category! It was also nominated for two QSQs in 2012 (Best General story and Best OC).

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3378 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/28/11 Updated: 06/30/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: An Artful Dodge

Oh very clever. Minna, this is a great story. I loved the depth you went into regarding the art restoration and also the way everything slotted together. The addiction to fast food, for instance, was not only a great detail but ensured she had Muggle money to pay the ice cream girl. Great OC's as well.

Sorry not a particularly good review, but I did really enjoy it.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing, Carole. =D Re: the ice cream girl - that actually wasn't planned at first. The scene popped into my head at work. And I'm glad you liked the OCs - and the fic itself. =D

 

I Fall by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Over fifty people died the night of the Battle at Hogwarts. Fifties stories that came to The End. This is one End that was written.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 102 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
06/29/11 Updated: 07/01/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Fall

WOW! Lisa, that's a fabulous poem. No, it's not a traditional tritina, but who cares!? This is lovely and really packs a punch. Very impressed.

Who is it? For some reason I think it's Colin :( but can't be sure. Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw, thanks Carole! That really means a lot to me. As for who it is, I'm not exactly sure. I was just thinking one of the students who decided to stay. It could've been Colin, I suppose. Thanks!

 

Lily's Eyes by XenaTwin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Just a short poem, about Lily... and Harry going to Hogwarts, from Snape's POV

Lily's Eyes has been nominated for the Best Poetry Quicksilver Quill award. Thanks so much for the nomination!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 142 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/29/11 Updated: 07/01/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Lily's Eyes

Hi there, I like your poem. You have a very good flow to it and the rhyming scheme doesn't seem at all forced. The subject matter is very sad, as well, and I can imagine the guilt he feels as Lily's eyes watch him.

You should check out Poetry Anyone? in The Great Hall on the beta boards - it's a lot of fun and there are some interesting challenges that you might enjoy. Anyway, enough of the plug. This was a good poem and I enjoyed reading it. You captured Snape's emotions very well. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it. I found Poetrry Anyone on the list of permission groups before I submitted this. I put in a request to join but have not yet been given access. Can't wait to check it out.

 

In Winter in My Head by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: One of Severus Snape's many nightmares.

Written for the Copycat Challenge, imitating Emily Dickenson's In Winter in My Room.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 243 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/02/11 Updated: 07/02/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Why haven't I seen this poem? Is it in PA? This is lovely and so darn powerful. I need to ask you, because I don't know the original and it could be to do with that, but why are certain words like Muscles capitalised. I'm not saying it's a fault AT ALL, I just wondered (runs away in case she's hit with the Zechad Hex)

Seriously this is a beautiful poem and very evocative.

There's a reason I'm not in SPEW - this review should give you a clue - hee hee hee hee.

Amazing. ~Carole~

Author's Response: What an inappropriate and zechadly review this is! I am completely bemused and do not know how to respond.

...

Heehee. This was my second entry for the Copycat Challenge. The capitalisations reflect those of the original, and I actually dunno why Dickinson capitalised hers. o.O Thanks for the lovely review, Croll! This may not be SPEWly, but it really brings a smile on my face, and is as cherished as a monstrous review!

~Natalie

 

Inch of Dust by the opaleye
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary: When George thinks of her, he thinks of Fred.

So, he tries not to think at all.

Nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award in Best Dark/Angsty, Best Canon Romance, and Best Post Hogwarts.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 2636 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/03/11 Updated: 07/05/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Inch of Dust.

And for the first time since he held his brother’s head in his lap, while the Great Hall erupted into chaos around him, all George remembers is Fred at his best, his most brilliant, his star shining bright enough to crack the sky. And at that point I filled up and tears fell from my eyes.

This is so stunningly beautiful. I am in utter awe of your lush writing and just the way you managed to conjure something so beautiful from the prompt.

Too jealous, must now crawl into a ball and zechad myself. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw thanks so much, Carole. I admit that I teared up when writing that last bit of the Luna section. I wouldn't zechad yourself too soon, however, because otherwise I will be very very annoyed if I have to wait any longer for a High update! Thanks again for the lovely review! -Julia xD

 

Funeral by Ascendio
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: The story of a funeral and the meaning of family.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2656 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/03/11 Updated: 07/08/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: Funeral

This was a touching story. I like reading fics from an unsympathetic characters' POV and Petunia is about as unsympathetic as you can get in the Potterverse, so good on you for choosing to write her.

You managed to elicit some sympathy from me for her because it was obvious that Lily and James' world was now coming between her and Vernon and she was struggling to hold it together. Plus, she would have had two very young toddlers to look after which must be hard work.

I think there's a small error in the timing of when she told Vernon that Lily was a witch. At the beginning of PS it seems clear to me that Vernon knows about their magic. He and Petunia try to ignore it, but it's pretty clear that they're suppressing that knowledge. He sees owls in the sky, people in cloaks and his thoughts drift to his SIL, so I'm pretty sure she told him way before Lily died about the other world.

I liked Remus here. We don't often see him at a total loss. Infact he's generally a reserved and private person, but under these circumstances (best friends dead or locked up) then yes, his actions seem in character. I really felt for the poor darling at that point (I am a huge Remus fan, though)

The ending was good. Her family are uppermost in her mind - prtecting Dudley is her only concern. Although I disagree soundly with her methods, there is a small part of me that can't fault her logic in the canon of this story. And although I suspect being normal played an equal role in her treatment of Harry, her families safety probably played a strong part, too.

Interesting take on Petunia. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, yes I knew Vernon finding out then wasn't right as I reread PS this week yet I had already sent it in for validation and didn't feel like editing it. Perhaps I'll go back and change it later. Thanks for reading!

 

Smoke and Mirrors by Padfoot11333
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Pius Thicknesse is under the Imperius Curse. When it is lifted, he feels the course of his actions.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1065 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/11/11 Updated: 07/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi there. I clicked on this because it the summary was intriguing and I like reading about characters who you're never quite sure about. Pius Thicknesse is someonw who I do imagine getting seduced by the Dark Side because it offered him power and even though he was under the Imperius Curse, he wouldn't have fought it much. I like how you've portrayed this as him being in a cloud of smoke. I would have liked the story to be longer, maybe exploring some of his other deeds when he was Minister, but that's the only criticism (if it can be called criticism) that I have. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hi, Thanks for the review. I didn't think I'd seen a story like this and I decided to write it. Originally it was over 5000 words, but rereading before submission I realised it sounded forced. But who knows; maybe there'll be a Part Two. Glad you liked it. ~Lily~

 
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