Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

[Report This]
Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

Bicie Serca by BlueJoker
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 26]

Summary: Sofia seeks refuge within the walls of Hogwarts from the bloodied and terror-filled streets of Krakow. Yet she is not entirely welcomed. The moment she reaches the cold shores of England she experiences jealousy, loss of identity, the perils of war and the question of her right to exist.

Nominated for Best Historical in the QSQs 2011.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 18037 Chapters: 8 Completed: No
Published:
04/12/11 Updated: 08/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1, The Zimmermaanns.

This is a wonderful idea for a story. You're dealing with harsh issues here - the harshest, infact - and intertwing them pretty darn well with the Potterverse.

Your style and use of language is very good and the scene setting at the beginning is so intense. I was immediately brought right into the story and the atmosphere.

there were one or two places where I thought the phrasing a bit clumsy.

But she was a Jew, and Jews were not welcomed there any longer, by the influence of Grindelwald. I think this should either be 'by the order of Grindelwald, if he's in charge. Or 'under Greindelwalds influence. I'm also not sure about the comma before 'by' but I'm not going to argue with the redoubtable Kara!

She knew the war had Grindelwald’s influence, but she had not considered the extent to which magic may be involved. This didn't make sense to me. 'had been influenced by Grindelwald, perhaps? I'm understand what you're saying, but I think there's a missing word somewhere. (Just not sure what.)

I am very intrigued by the wizard turning up at the end and have no idea who it is (unless it's Tom Riddle). I look forward to reading more. This really is a good story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much :D You're so very helpful and lovely :D

 

Witch Switch by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: When Sirius's plans for Hogsmeade backfire, he ends up taking Lily Evans to Madam Puddifoot's instead, only to find James is not at all happy to see them sharing a tart. And when James's date kisses Sirius, Lily storms off as well, leaving him on the floor covered in chocolate. Yet things are even more complicated than they seem…

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3, Marauder Era.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 4159 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/12/11 Updated: 04/12/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Ha ha ha - what did I unleash in you, here? This is so funny. You, Gina, my love, have not only made Sirius/Lily a pleasure to read (I LOVED when she removed the chocolate crumbs from his lips), but you've given the exchange student cliche a new twist that WORKS! YAY - Brilliant. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole. I barely remember the thread this idea sprung from, but you definitely started it and I just twisted it to my means. Thanks again, because it was fun! A new twist on the exchange student? I didn't think that was possible, lol! And I'm shocked you enjoyed a Sirius/Lily moment, since I know how loyal you are to J/L, hee hee. It was fun, though, to prank Sirius for once (and not beat up on J). Thanks again for your help, I'm glad you enjoyed it! ~Gina :)

 

A Family Matter by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary:

Bachelor life suited Zach Smith just fine, and the lack of expectations on his time and attention suited him even more.

But his life changed in an instant with a knock on the door and an unexpected delivery.



This story has been nominated for a 2014 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story.


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 12719 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
04/12/11 Updated: 06/19/14


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ha ha ha ha ha - what a wonderful fic. I almost feel sorry for Zach when faced with the social worker. I definitely know what it's like having a 3 year old hanging around when I'm rather the worse for drink ... but Zach's a git, so he deserves the pain - hee hee.

I was giggling at his 'escorts' name. Mitzy is just so classy.

Great story, Jess. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

This should be interesting to find out how or if Zach can adjust to daddy life. I agree that he so has it coming, and the social worker could sum him up in about three seconds.

I may have to pick your brain at some point for toddler behaviour. Children scare me, so I've not observed them much. DX

Top of the mornin' to you, EQ!

~Jesssss

 

Ready by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Ron decides to leave the Ministry, and the reasons catch Hermione by surprise.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1594 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/14/11 Updated: 04/14/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

(My previous review was littered with errors, so this is a duplicate)

Desperately disappointed in this, Gina. There were not Brit Picks for me! Hee hee. Sorry

I always think the trouble with dialogue only fics is a) sustaining the story, b) adding the setting and c) giving each character their own distinct voice. You managed that quite marvellously. Well done.

I did wonder at Hermione cooking treacle tart. She really doesn'tt strike me as a baker at all, so I was relieved she fessed up to buying the tart. I have this image of her fooling him for years by buying microwave meals from Sainsbury's that he thinks are better than anything Molly has cooked - ha ha ha.

Happy Birthday, Lori. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I know - and I don't think you picked on any in Witch Switch either. You're slouching, because I am definitely not getting better at it, lol! I'm glad this fic passed your three hurdles. You know I sometimes like giving this kind of story a go. Frankly I'm impressed that I could do it with a couple that wasn't James and Lily and still keep them in character. Funny comment about Hermione, because that's sort of how I imagine her too! Thanks so much for reading this, and for the lovely review. It's appreciated as always. ~Gina :)

 

Anchored by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThis day, he is worried, scared and numb. His loved ones cannot do anything about it, but someone comes along by chance and brings him back.

This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall April Fools Challenge, Lonely List: Next Generation. It actually won! :D Nathan even swept the floor with the Extra Credit Award. Thank you, Lea, for beta-reading this at such short notice.

Nominated for a QSQ in the Same Sex Pairing category.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Slash, Strong Profanity

Word count: 3719 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/14/11 Updated: 04/16/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Noooooo. You hurt my Scorpy!. Gah, this is fabulously fabulous. i just adore the gut-wrenching emotions you've portrayed in this fic. How the hell can people think SSP is wrong? This is so perfect.

Oh poo, I'm jealous now. And furious ... I'm trying to write High, and Scorpius is supposed to be trying to get with Lily, not her cousin.

Too much squeeing. Fabulous story and I LOVED the broomstick.

I'd wish you luck, but I don;t think you need it. Bloody Brilliant.~Carole~

Author's Response: I actually considered killing him for a minute, but couldn't do it in the end. Yeah, how can people think SSP is wrong? >.< And, yes, it would be hard to write Scily when he clearly belongs with Hugo. Hehehe. Thank you for the squeeing and the wonderful compliments, Carole! I'm thrilled you liked it. :D:D

~Natalie

 

One Last Run by Gmariam
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: As his relationship with Lily Evans picks up, James is forced to confront an equally important bond with one of his best friends and the future they face together.

Categories: Same-Sex Pairings Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Slash

Word count: 1761 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/17/11 Updated: 04/17/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

OH, sob. The line at the end. I just want to hug them both and frolic in the snow with both of them.

Fab story. Even when you're writing something as a bit of a tease, you manage to make it believable and well written. The blanket brazenly on the snow ir a case in point.

Nine thousand reasons to review this; top of the list is that it's great. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole. I think I'm glad I let you and Natalie talk me into this. And I'm glad it's believable, because even with something non-canon (and who knows, this *could* have been canon!) I do want to make it believable. I rather like this pairing, I think. Thanks for reading and leaving such a nice review after such a crazy afternoon, lol! ~Gina :)

 

Looking Forward by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Lily Potter is getting ready for her last year at Hogwarts, shopping with her cousin in Diagon Alley. She is not particularly excited for the coming year until a chance encounter with a friend from her childhood changes her outlook. Suddenly, seventh year doesn't look so bad.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3, Next Generation.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 3883 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/17/11 Updated: 04/17/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

I rather like Brian and think you've done a good job with his character. He certainly seems very real and you've given him enough diffidence to be regarded as Neville and Hannah's son, yet enough confidence to be his own man. I guessed who he was from the little touches sprinkled throughout (Mother a Hufflepuff, Father broke his wrist etc) so I didn't need the actual reveal at the end ... but it was a good touch.

*coughsplutterevilbritpickalert* We say autumn and not fall.

I liked the kiss - very sweet. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ooh, now that it's FALL I should remember to say AUTUMN, lolol. Thanks, Carole! And a belated thank-you for the lovely review, I appreciate it (then and now, lol) ~Gina :)

 

Bella by Apollonious
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: As he watches Bellatrix grow closer to the Dark Lord, Rodolphus Lestrange wishes that he could simply have her back as his own.

Originally submitted as part 2 of the October Triathalon in Poetry Anyone?.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 243 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/23/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: Bella

Oh, powerful poem, Olivia. I love the simple repetition of Bella and then the change at the end to 'His Bella.' I feel rather sorry for Rodolphus who appears here to have simply followed her lead. Although I think he was a willing participant, it must have been a nightmare to watch his beautiful wife slip away from him like that.

Enjoyed this, well done ~Carole~

 

Summary:

Hufflepuff Albus Potter was a firm believer that it was a fact of nature and a rite of passage to torment one's sibling. And who better than his nerdy, Ravenclaw little sister? Her messy hair and stupid pile of books... she so had it coming.

But Lily had other ideas.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3884 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ah, fabulosa. Really enjoyable story, you guys, with a decent trick and great consequences. I love the fact that you wrote them as a Puff and a Claw - after all we have no idea what houses they'd be in, but this does make sense. Albus really is a git, but I loved the bit about his Granddad's book. (Don't know if you know but I wrote a story where Arthur was suffering dementia, so that struck a chord with me)

It was very smoothly written, and I know how hard that is to do when you're co-writing.

Well Done ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Big brothers... *sigh* Gits, all. 

This prank was a lot of fun to concoct, and the great part is that both of us quickly agreed on Next-Gen. And as both of us had favourite characters of the genre who happened to be siblings... it was destiny. 

And saaaaaaaaaad for Arthur. But he does seem a prime candidate for that. :/

Thank you for your lovely review. We like to think we gave you and Gina a run for your money. 

~Jess and Olivia

 

Burning Question by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Petunia had asked Vernon over to breakfast with her parents for one reason -- angling for that coveted marriage proposal. But was the one she wanted the one she got?

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1319 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

HA! Petunia, take that! Oh, I kinda wish he never asks her and she doesn't have the horrible Dudley.When the saliva sprayed onto her face, i wanted her to realise what a vile man Vernon was. Loved the parents, they were so eager to please Petunia. I expect they want rid of her - hee hee.

Fun story! ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Hehe, I wanted Vernon to be a bit rude, but not so much so that he would put her off completely. He's still vile, but most of his rancid vileness comes later in life when he no longer felt the need to impress anyone at home. Also known as Fat Slob!Vernon.

Anywho, ramble. I'm glad it didn't suck completely, especially as it's a glorified drabble. Thanks for pointing out those few errors, which I should've done before I went to bed. Oh wellz. :D

~Jess

 

My Brother's Keeper by lucca4
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary:

A war is raging across the country. Colin Creevey is ready to fight, while his brother Dennis is in hiding with other Muggleborn refugees in the London Underground. Both are ready to play their part in a war that will forever change the history of the Wizarding world.

One will not survive. The other will have his life forever changed by the tragedy that befalls his brother.

But this is not a story about death or loss. This is a tale about brotherhood.

Much, much thanks to the absolutely amazing Elen for beta-ing this. Without her, this story would not be. Disclaimer: I don't own any of JKR's stuff.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 5006 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/19/11 Updated: 05/23/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/24/11 Title: Chapter 3: Epilogue: The End, and a New Beginning

This was so very touching. Poor Dennis.

I loved the way you wrote this, Arianna. The details from the blades of grass and the link to Colin wanting to take photographs were so very poignant. This really has been a lovely story to read and sob over.

Uhm ... I have a quibble though. I would have thought that Dennis would have known who Henry was. Henry came across as a Gryffindor to me in the last chapter, and although he was a year older than Dennis, I would have thought he'd recognise him. Maybe not known him very well, but would have recognised him.

I have to admit I was a bit flummoxed by the idea of having an open casket outside. I don't know how normal this is as I've not been to an open casket funeral before, so that could just be me being a bit puzzled. You need it, of course, because Dennis has to say goodbye and put the wand in the coffin, but um ... okay this is daft, but I couldn't help feeling sad that Colin was getting wet, too. Perhaps a cover or an Impervious Charm. Sorry, this is so picky and for a story that was so well executed throughout.

*sob* He never knew living could hurt this much. That line killed me. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! And I don't mind hearing quibbles--they make me think which is always a good thing ;). About Henrythe only times Dennis would have seen him would be in the common room or mealtimes and I can see Dennis thinking he looked familiar but in his state of grief -- and because I imagine Henry looked different after the war than before -- just lash out rudely. An open casket funeral is the only kind of funeral I've been to, which probably puts the occurrence out of perspective for me. I definitely see your pointI'll try to add a tarp or something, because you're right . It's a bit impractical. Carole, thank you so much for reviewing this and every chapter of this story. It always makes me smile to see you've reviewed. xx Ariana

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: Nothing is the Same

I'm trying to think of s decent enough excuse as to why I haven't read this before now ... I don't have one, but I'm here now.

I'm so pleased that you've expanded this story because it was such an intriguing drabble. This whole side of the war was barely touched on in DH so it's basic food and drink to us fanfictioneers because there are so many avenues to explore. You have done a wonderful job here. I can sense their real fear living from day-to-day in such a horrible place.

I have a small quibble. You mentioned that Lyle's dad cast protective spells. If his dad was a wizard, then Lyle wouldn;t be a Muggleborn. Can you change it to his brother, or something?

Sorry, this isn't nearly as good as the amazing reviews you leave me, but I am going to add to favourites and will be reading more ... that's a promise. Great story ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ooh, thanks for catching that! I'm off to change it right now :). And speaking of reviews.I remembered what I was going to say in the "Beyond Beseeching" review that I forgot (sorry, I know this is probably not the proper time or place). It's that I loved your disclaimer :). Your review was absolutely wonderful to receive, thanks so much! xx Ariana

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/23/11 Title: Chapter 2: The Fight

OOOH, now then, I hope Henry doesn't die. I was just getting into his character. You had him nicely fleshed out in such a few words, a cheeky Gryff. I was grinning when he appeared and then you darn nearly killed him!

I love Justin here. He's not scared to admit that he can't finght. he knows his limitations, although I hope he will return (but then that will mean Henry's dead ... I'm in a quandary now)

Really enjoying this ... but I want more. Can we have an epilogue, please?

~Carole~

Author's Response: An epiloguehm, that's not a bad idea. In fact, it's a very very good idea. It might make the ending more conclusive. Thanks so much for your review, Carole! xx Ariana

 

The Muggle's Lament by loveismagicharry
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: A poem about a little girl's wish to take part in Magic after her happenings along to the resting spot of a beloved snowy owl.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 227 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/21/11 Updated: 04/25/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/25/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Muggle's Lament

This is an interesting idea, but there are a few small problems. First of all, I think you need to put a break between your explanation and the poem, Because you write free verse, it's actually quite difficult to see where your poem starts, especially as your first line is very long. I'd consider chopping that first line in two, if I'm honest.

Secondly, Hedwig actually died in her cage in the book and didn't have the glorious death that she had in the film, so strictly speaking this poem isn't book canon.

There are a few places where you repeat words which can be a bit jarring. I'm thinking of the opening two lines where you repeat 'it', and then later where you repeat 'since' as the end lines. This is rather jarring. The repetition of 'She believed' though is good. It really emphasises the point.

Free verse is always, in my opinion, harder to write. When I have a set structure I find it easier to tailor my words, but with free verse there's always the temptation to write anything. It should still have a flow and rhythm to it. I think you have a certain rhythm going here, but at times the long sentences read like prose.

For the innocence lost in a story she could take no part it, I think you mean 'in' not 'it'.

There are some lovely images here 'Scare of the adventure it tasted briefly'. 'A life that seemed to float right beyond her fingers' - are really evocative and you've captured the mood well.

Poor Hedwig ~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh, thank you SO much for your reading, reviewing, and analyzing of my poem! It means so much to me- it's so easy for us to overlook things in our own works. I always seem to make lines in poems too long- I'm working on learning when to go on to the next line. I know it isn't technically canon because I didn't mention the cage, which is because I didn't want the image of her pure, innocent, mangled body (kind of like that unicorn that died!) to be obscured by the cage. Anyhow, thank you for noticing that. I'll definitely work on improving word choice and structure, and I applaud you for noticing. I do tend to kind of go off on tangents in poetry, and I should really get better at editing that. That's a big problem for me. Thank you very much for your supportive criticism- it is MUCH appreciated. Cheers! R.I.P. Hedwig <3

 

Fight With Me by Viv
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: It's been two years since Fred Weasley's death, and George isn't doing so well. Actually, he's a total mess. Sitting on the same bench in the same park, he comes to hide in the Muggle world, in hope that his pain will eventually fade away.

An unusual encounter, a helping hand, sometimes that's all that it takes to put the past behind. Until the day three simple words are spoken: fight with me.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations

Word count: 2850 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
04/25/11 Updated: 04/30/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue - A Journey to the Past

I was intrigued by the summary and I'm even more intrigued now that I've read the prologue. This seems to be an interesting story and I can't wait to read the rest. There aren't many George centric stories once he's married with kids, most seem to deal with his grief straight after the battle (and that gets a bit dull to read after a while).

I have a query/nit pick. His son is Fred, yes? Now if his wife is Angelina, then I find it unlikely he'd have red hair because Angelina Johnson was black and her genes would be dominant. Sorry, that's a bit picky but it was a bit jarring - unless he's not married to Angelina ... in which case you can shoot me down.

Look forward to further chapters, Viv. ~Carole~

Author's Response: If you're intrigued just by the prologue, now wait until Chapter 1! :P This story will certainly not be what people expect. Yes, Fred is George's son... now, if he's married to Angelina or not... I guess I'll let you find out by yourself! *is being evil* Thanks for the review Carole!

 

Him, Alice and Me by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: They were returning to a life full of hope and dreams, but they never got there.

Originally written for the TTB Brawl:Round 3. Inspired by the quote ""When we get home, Frank, then there'll be kisses, kisses with dreams in them. Kisses that come from life, not death." - The Postman Always Rings Twice

Nominated for a QSQ in the Best General Category.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders

Word count: 1056 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/26/11 Updated: 04/26/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/26/11 Title: Chapter 1: Kisses from Life

OOH MYYYYY WOOOORRRRRRD! Bloody brilliant. I knew this would work as a oneshot. The drabble was amazing but what you've done here by adding the beginning is make it so much more powerful. Just ... breathtakingly good. Wow, I am glad I picked that quote for the brawl (and yes, that is me claiming the credit -mwahahahahahahaha!)

Sorry, not coherent at all. WONDERFUL! ~Carole~

Author's Response: YAY! I was waiting to hear from somebody who had read the drabble first to tell me if it worked or not. Phew! Now, if only this week's prompt was as easy, I would thank you for picking that quote. GRRRRR.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Croll!

~Natalie

 

At the End of It by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Life is never smooth between lovers, especially when you wake up with them everyday.

A tiny and fun one-shot featuring Scorpius/Hugo. This is for you, Lea. I really hope you like it!

Thanks to Kara for being my eternal beta-reader. :D

DISCLAIMER: I am not JK Rowling.

Categories: Same-Sex Pairings Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 1145 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/28/11 Updated: 04/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Whya haven't I seen this before? What's wrong with me? Okay, I admit I'm on a mission, now, but this is exquisite. I just love your take on this relationship. It's normal and not angsty SSP. They're a couple who argue and wow, they're also bloody hot!

I love your extra touches here. The Equally Weird Brothers - ha ha - just love.

I'm struggling to pick out great lines, but knew I was onto a winner when I came to this line The journey over the space between their bodies seemed to take long; his skin recoiled against the ridges of crumpled sheets, fearful of being rejected. - there speaks the experience of someone who's gone to bed on a row - LOL.

OOOH, he shaved his beard off. true love, or lust.

Can you stop ruining Scily for me now? ~Carole~

Author's Response: I'll never stop ruining Scily for you. NEVER. That said, thanks for the review! Yeah, I wanted to write about a normal fight between two lovers, not something that grapples with the issue of homosexuality. And hahaha! That line. OMP. Do I know it or what? Also, true lust. ;) <3333

 

Always Come Back to You by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Sometimes, James wished Lily wouldn't be so stubborn; sometimes, Lily wanted James to understand.

Written for the wonderful Gina/Gmariam, the greatest James/Lily champion I know. You inspire me lots!



Warning: This story is originally rated Professors for sexual situations. The rating has been changed temporarily only because we're having some technical problem with stories that have higher ratings. So, please click at your own discretion.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1732 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/29/11 Updated: 04/29/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/29/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Gah, just wonderful. Not too graphic but just perfect and normal and earthy and raw and natural.

Lily’s first experience was nothing special either; it was hurried, and the boy certainly hadn’t waited for her to come before trembling against her with a godawful groan. This line made me smile and groan. The subtlety of the awfulness of her first time really hits home. I also adored the jealousy she felt about him being with other girls. But James is hers ... no doubt about it.

Gorgeousness. ~Carole~

Author's Response: YAY!

First times are overrated. Really. Thanks for reading and revieeeeewing! (That's me squee-ing.)

~Natalie

 

Summary: A poem chronicling the famous Battle of Hogwarts.

Many thanks to Jezza and Cazza for their suggestions. This poem placed third in the Battle Challenge at Poetry Anyone?

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 224 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/02/11 Updated: 05/02/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Then came the hour of dark despair, The Boy Who Lived was now no more; Yet Neville swung his mighty Sword, And brought hope back to the fore.

Gah, never quite thought of it like that. Despite seeing harry dead, Neville carried on fighting.

I think I love him.

Natalie, this is a great poem. It flows exceptionally well and the tension holds throughout the poem. Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Gods, I fail. :( I forgot about these reviews. Thanks for the read and review! I love Neville, too.

~Natalie

 

Chosen by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

Dumbledore's Army taught Neville Longbottom how to fight. But soon he would learn what it truly meant to take a stand, to fight back.

 

This poem was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Poem



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 130 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/02/11 Updated: 05/02/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/02/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Very clever. It's such a great moment, this. Neville staring up at the walls of Hogwarts and accepting his destiny, even though he has no real idea what he's letting himself in for.

He's not a stand in - he's Teh BAMF! (would be more literary, but it's late ...) Good luck with teh challenge, ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Hiiiiiii, Croll!

What I wanted was a personal revelation for Neville that, while the situation was bigger than any one of them, he could be bigger than anyone really gave him credit for. Not only that, he had to be. I don't know if I did any of that (maybe half, at least, lol), but I dids mah best, mate.

Hmm, I wonder if a certain, er, member will have started harrassing Jules for the results yet, lol.

~Jezza 

 
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Skeletons' Tale by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," wrote Shakespeare. This story...
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES