Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I'm a grown woman living in London but I'm obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

A Visit From Father Christmas by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Past Featured StoryTeddy Lupin decides to dress up as Father Christmas and surprise his family at the Burrow. Before returning to the party, he receives his own visit, as well as an enigmatic gift that may or may not decide his future.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Christmas Challenge, Prompt Three.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3086 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/24/10 Updated: 12/24/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: A Visit From Father Christmas

Gina!!!! This is wonderful. What an absolute delight to read on Christmas Morning. Just so sweet (but not saccharine) and heart flippingly gorgeous. This is perfect the perfect Christmas story. Well Done.

*small nitpick* Victoire Weasley roller her eyes and went into the kitchen. I think you mean 'rolled'. But that was all. I just loved this such a lot. Ahhh, in Christmas bliss.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, GINA!

love ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hi Carole - a belated thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked the story, since I had my doubts. I'm doubly glad it wasn't saccharine, because that was what I was worried about. I don't know about heart-flippingly gorgeous, but it was fun to play with this idea. Thanks so much! ~Gina :)

 

Of Weasleys and Malfoys by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Four moments from their life that brought them together.

This is Dinny's Christmas present for the 2010 Gryffindor Swap. And this is not what J.K.Rowling has been working on, no.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 3824 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/10 Updated: 12/27/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Yes yes yes, I liked it a lot ... except it's Scrose and not Scily, but I can forgive you for that ... because it's you and your stories make my heart melt.

I love Scorpius in this. I love the banter. I love his honesty and his utter teenage boyness. I LOVE SCORPIUS MALFOY! Give him to me now.

And now I need to get back to High and write more Scorpius (and a little bit of another Slyth heh heh heh)

Lovely story, Natalie. ~Carole~

Author's Response: It's Scugo - not Scorose or Scily. :D And I shall give you Scopius, the half-brother, don't worry!

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm happy to know you liked my Scorpius.

~Natalie

 

Broom Ride by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:

Join the crowd for some wintery fun with a Quidditch-ized version of the Christmas classic song, 'Sleigh Ride'.

Merry Christmas to everyone at MuggleNet Fan Fiction!



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 275 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/10 Updated: 12/25/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

So, here's the deal, I meant to write everyone Christmas reviews yesterday, but I fell asleep rather early (too much mead) Here's a delayed Christmas present for you (and there could be some more).

Oh yay! Perfect version of this song, Jess. I love the action involved here, you really write Quidditch well, even in poetry form (and writing Quidditch is bloody hard!)

I'm singing along with this as I type - hee hee. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it. This was harder than it looked, but mostly because of syllabic reasons. :-/ I probably should have picked a song that I knew, but it seems like it came out all right.

Thanks for the stop by, dearie, and Merry Late, Never Truncated to the Letter 'X-Mas' Christmas. 

~Jess

 

Dark Requiem by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary:

The irony does not escape Severus Snape as he seeks to gain the favour of the Dark Lord on, of all nights, Christmas. The spectres of days dead and gone spur him on to complete his mission, but can the fond memories stop him from committing an unspeakable act?

 

This story has been nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Marauder Era Story.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3423 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/25/10 Updated: 12/25/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is scarily good, Jess. I think the first person suited the story perfectly because the obsessive tone of first person suits Snape perfectly. I found Snape so utterly loathsome in this. His thought that Lily would forgive him for murdering her parents ... just so not the case, Sev. As a Gryff she'd sacrifice herself, just as I expect James et al would do. Saving your own skin is not an option for her. How deluded was he? Did he know Lily at all?

Canonically (is that a word?) I have a minor nitpick, cause JKR said that Lily's parents died normally and not at the hands of Death Eaters, but then that would ruin a truly brilliant story. I recently read another story where Snape and Regulus murder the Evanses and I kinda think it's better than them dying naturally - it certainly gives Petunia an extra reason to hate Harry and that world.

I was a bit hesitant at first at Snape's language. He comes across as very formal - which he is, of course - but he's also only seventeen/eighteen in this story, so I did think perhaps he should be a little more 'teen'. Ha- sorry strange picture of Snape using slang and acting like a jerk has just formed in my mind, but it's more that I don't think he was always as guarded as he was in later life. That's very minor, and can be argued either way, so ignore me.

Let me concentrate on the bits I really enjoyed. I loved Snapes ruminations on Potter (ha ha I hope they were fornicating) and his advanced Occlumency. I found it intriguing the way Voldemort decided that he wouldn't pry furthur into Snape's mind. He finds him useful and there is clear respect towards his talents. No wonder Voldemort chose him.

Amazing story, Jess. Fantastic look into one man's obsessive mind. Incredible (and now I've run out of praise) ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Of all the things I didn't expect you to like, a first-person, present tense, introspective Snape story isn't one of them, honestly, so yay about that. It makes me happy that you don't find it all *headdesk* introspective or pretentious, maybe save for the language he used throughout the story. I suppose I wanted it to focus more on the way he thinks rather than a narration. 

Truthfully, I actually found Voldemort much easier to write than I imagined. I guess I channelled my inner megalomaniac sociopath and decided that he respected Snape's balls for being willing to close off his mind. It was rather interesting to crawl around in Moldy Voldy's mind.

I remember that extra-canon bit about Lily's parents, and I know that by default because Terri's judging this challenge this piece will never, ever win, but I sort of took a liberty with this part. My premise is that their deaths were DETERMINED to be by unshady means. Falling down the stairs isn't a shady occurrence when one is home alone with the door locked and no one else around who can say otherwise. And as for Mrs Evans, well.... her death is destined to be a bit of a mystery. By that point in the story, Snape had already determined that Lily could and would forgive him for offing her parents because he 'had' to do it, so how she died was no longer relevant to the story. I hope that made sense, because it's very late and i'm stupidly tired, lol.

I really wanted this to be a story driven by bitterness and resentment and the delusion of idealisation, 'cause that's what Snape's all about.

Really, though, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yay!

~Jess

 

The Substitute by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: It was the last time for them, though he was yet to know.

Disclaimer:I am not J.K.Rowling; the characters and their world belong to her, though.

AU because these characters never kissed in canon. If you’ve seen the Deathly Hallows 1 movie, you might be able to understand what’s going on. ;)



This story won the QSQ for Best Non-Canon Romance in the One-shot categoery.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations

Word count: 2442 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/27/10 Updated: 12/27/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Nooooo, poor Maty. Poor Ron. Why can't she keep the younger man? Hermione can have ... um McLaggan.

Bittersweet story, Natalie. I thought it was just going to be a bit smutty and funny, but it was really rather poignant.

Oh Merlin, the Chudley Canons boxers were very funny, though - ha ha. The CC reminded me of the Chanel logo ... was that intentional?

Lovely, but I'm a bit sad now. Hermione doesn't deserve him, and Mary needs a happy ending (Dean ... perhaps?) ~Carole~

P.S. I've got a feeling I'm supposed to be writing one of these movie canon things - eeeep.

Author's Response: Mary can't have Ron because Lori would kill me, or worse, take away my canon card. D: The double C's are actually canon - the Cannon have that on their logo, I think.

Thanks for reading! :D I'm super glad you liked it.

~Natalie

 

Harry J. Potter - A Song Parody by Virgil
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: This is a "Potter Parody" of the musical masterpiece, "Eleanor Rigby" - originally written by Paul McCartney and performed by the Beatles. It takes you on a musical journey from the opening chapters of Philosopher's Stone to the Epilogue in Deathly Hallows.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 206 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/30/10 Updated: 01/06/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/07/11 Title: Chapter 1: Harry J. Potter

Hello. I like this. I was singing along as I read. This happens to be my third favourite Beatles song - hee hee. Anyway. I did like your Potterversion of it. I was a bit twitchy about the first stanza's rhymes when it came to the cupboard line. I don;t think that quite works, but it does fit the story and the poem.

That was my only crit though. All in all I loved it. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I agree that the cupboard line is a bit awkward - but I think the lyric in the actually song isn't quite right either. (Now that I think about it though, I'm not really sure.) Either way, thank you reading! I'm glad you like it! ~Virgil

 

Summary: Past Featured Story

To the tune of O Little Town of Bethlehem, join the Marauders on one of their monthly nights on the town.

 

This Song Poem won the Poetry Anyone Carol Challenge on the Beta Boards. Yay!



Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 184 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/31/10 Updated: 12/31/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/01/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh, brilliant. Very good reworking of the song. I know this song pretty well and was able to sing along (yes I'm that sad), so you matched the rhythm of the original pretty well (I'd possibly cut either 'Merlin' or 'so' in the last line of the first verse because I stumbled a bit on singing it, but as a poem it scans very well.

Nice job. The effort paid off. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Haha, Minna said the same thing about that line, but by that time, I had like... fifteen minutes before the challenge closed in my time zone, couldn't think of anything else, and yeah. I'll probably edit and cut the 'so' for the hell of it.

Glad you liked it, and I'm also glad it's over, too. :D

~Jess

 

World Enough, and Time by h_vic
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Past Featured StoryLisa Turpin is a Ravenclaw; she's always been a thinker rather than a doer, but somehow she finds herself fighting for her life and the love of her life all at the same time.

I am h_vic of Hufflepuff and this is my final for Carole's Missing Moments class

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 3665 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/04/11 Updated: 01/06/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/22/11 Title: Chapter 1: Had we but world enough, and time

Now that I've read and marked, I can leave a review. Hannah, this was an amazing story. I loved the characterisation of the four Ravenclaws. Lisa as the lynchpin with her 'boys' was such a good idea. I think what I found particularly impressive was that Lisa didn;t actually like one of them that much and I'm wondering why - it intrigues me which is always a good thing.

Wow, the class seemed determined to kill old Terry Boot, didn't they. Poor boy!

I like Daphne, here. In my mind she's always been a more sympathetic Slytherin, and I liked the concern for her sister, yet you didn't fall into the trap of making her totally redeemable. She did take part in the detentions, and there was no excuse given.

Amazing story. I look forward to relaxing one afternoon and reading all your stories. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw thanks, Carole. I really like the idea of the complexity of the four-way dynamic (actually the story this was a prequel too explores the way that dynamic fragments without Terry). As for Lisa and Michael, her discomfort with him is more based on the fact that she thinks he doesn't like her than anything else, which couldn't be further from the truth. Those two have a very messy and complicated relationship that only gets more complicated. As for Daphne, I'm glad her role worked, I really wanted to find a third way between the extremes of the bad Slytherin fighting for the Death Eaters and the good Slytherin who's fully redeemed by fighting for the good guys. I wanted her not to fight because ultimately she a true Slytherin pragmatist and her own self-interest is paramount and she wouldn't see it as in her best interests to pick a side, but for there still to be one thing that mattered more to her than saving her own skin.

 

Three by the opaleye
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: They move in a circle. She goes one way, he the other. It is a punishment neither deserves nor wants, and yet she holds the power to stop it.

Nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award in Best Non-Canon Romance.

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 1214 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/06/11 Updated: 01/11/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/12/11 Title: Chapter 1: Three.

Noooo, you killed them both. Oh, Julia, heartbreaking story and totally AU, but wowsville you made it work. (I'm sure wowsville isn;t a proper word, I'll never be a Spewer).

What amazes me about your stories is not how poetic you are with your prose (because I think you're one of the best poets on the site) but how it keeps me totally entranced. You manage to make description essential and not overdone, and the emotions you invoke in this short piece are so very true.

I do want to kill Draco for chatting up the blonde bint though. I know he's annoyed with Hermione but, really, he shouldn;t be punishing her! That's not a crit of you, by the way, I think it shows great Draco characterisation because although he wasnts redemption, he's still a manipulative git.

Darn, I need more Dramione, now.

Brilliant story, Julia, just BRILLIANT! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Eep thanks so much, Carole! I know a lot of description bores some people but I really love to write like that, it's just how I see things in my mind, but I do worry that it reads rather tediously, so I'm glad you didn't think that. And yes, Draco is infuriating, isn't he. But I don't like him being this suave gentleman in fanfiction. He's not. He's inconsiderate, manipulative and has a cruelty about him that some writers like to ignore. It's good to know that came through! Anyway, thanks so much for the review, Carole. I really appreciate it :)

 

The Potion Master's Birthday by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: A ballad written for Severus Snape's birthday.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 192 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/08/11 Updated: 01/08/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Potion Master's Birthday

Oh! I was giggling at this and smiling at your rhymes (in a good way) then I was brought up short by the ending. That's really quite sad. Wow, I CANNOT feel sorry for Snape - I really cannot.

Gina, I like this poem rather a lot and do wish you'd join PA - you'd rock that place so badly. (yes, we're tied, but I do have a Snape oneshot somewhere ...) ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ah ha! I made you feel sorry for Snape! How about that! That last stanza was different than the original, which was written (I think?) before the last book came out. I was going to leave it, but the word 'grin' in the original just jumped out at me as far too casual, so I finally came up with this ending, which I rather like. And yes, I probably should be in PA, but you know me and obligations. ;) Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)

 

In Silence by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A tribute to Harry and Hermione's friendship.

Nominated for the 2011 Best Poetry QSQ! Thanks, Gina/Gmariam!

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 147 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/09/11 Updated: 01/10/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Silence

Aww, Lisa, this is lovely. I really do like how you've managed to convey the whole Harry/Hermione dynamic in very few words. Her loyalty and stoicism shine through here, so well done. It's just struck me how much she put up with when Ron wasn't around. Harry was so internalised, and she must have been so lonely.

Your rhyming scheme works and I'm impressed that none of the rhymes seem at all forced.

Lovely poem (and sorry for the lateness of your birthday present) ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hey, thanks Carole! Hermione really is so loyal. Even when Harry's being a pain. I don't know if I could put up with it. Thanks for reading this poem! Your birthday present is quite acceptable. ;D

 

Pure and Explosive by lyon5678
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: It is the 1st of Septemeber, 2016 - eighteen years after the end of the Second Wizarding War - and George Weasley is utterly displeased with the lack of chaos at Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4372 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
01/10/11 Updated: 01/28/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/31/11 Title: Chapter 2: Lump

I like the idea of this story. You don't have an excessively mournful George, which is great, and he comes over as caring towards the young girl and not totally irresponsible, which is also good because so many people seem to think the characters never grew up!

I liked Fred appearing, but it did beg the question why George continued to feel so sad about his death (festering wound) when he had the means to summon him at will. The other thing is that I'm really not sure Harry would have given him the Stone. That was dealt with rather too quickly, so maybe it would have been better if George discovered the existence of the Stone himself (maybe he overheard Ron and Harry talking) and went to search for it himself. Harry knows the danger of living with ghosts (Mirror of Erised) so I'm not convinced he'd have wanted George of all people to get hold of it.

I liked the banter you wrote for George. The conversation with Fred is so IC, and Neville came across beautifully. You write dialogue well.

The end of chapter two was a bit hard going. You've let loose a lot of backstory in the last three paragraphs which basically deal with the last eighteen years very quickly. It might have been better to sprinkle some of it in the earlier parts of the story, or else use some dialogue to show certain parts of the story (Roxanne could reminisce about the purple fireplace, perhaps. And maybe Harry could mention that Ron's doing well as an Auror but still misses the shop - not very good suggestions - LOL,just a few things to break up the information a touch.

This is an interesting story, so I hope you don't mind me leaving you this critique. Is the story going to be Next-Gen centric? Or are you going to base it more around George?

OH last thing! I loved the kids being named after battle heroes. I did something similar in a story, where I had a load of Next Gen kids being called Harry or Molly. Charlie's triplet names made me giggle Frediland - ha ha ha ha.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Carole! To be honest, this is the only site where I've got proper critiques for this story. Yes, I was wondering about the Stone - would Harry really give it to George? Obviously, I figured he would. But the possibility of George overhearing him and Ron or Hermione talk about it is much, much more likely - I can't believe I didn't think of it! I was also *very* worried about the backstory bit. Thanks so much for critiquing that. This is my first fanfiction and I don't really know how to incorporate stuff like that into the story. I like the suggestion about Roxanne reminiscing. I suppose characters should reminisce like that from time to time (as George actually does end up doing). Thanks for what you said about the dialogue. That's the one thing I usually worry about, so I'm glad it was believable. To be honest, I have very few ideas about what to do with the story now. (Yeah, I know, not something the author should be saying.) So, I don't know whether it's going to be a NextGen fic or George-centric. I was initially planning on both - switching between Fred+Roxanne and George. So, feel free to give suggestions and ideas for the plot. They'll really help. Oh, and as for why George is still sad. Well, he still doesn't have Fred back, per se. Fred's just a spirit who appears from time to time - and I'd imagine George would learn not to call his brother back from the dead every minute of every day. But that's all just based on my interpretation of how the Stone works (and what those spirits really are). Again, thank you so much for your feedback! MN Fanfiction really has the best readers/reviewers :)

 

Mirrors by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: The war changed a lot of people, and he was one of them. What he didn't know was that she was going to bring him back on Christmas Eve.

Thanks to Carole for reading this over, and to Cinderella Angelina for her prompt for the Badgery Secret Santa swap. Thanks also to Lea for the perfume.

DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K.Rowling.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 4268 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/11/11 Updated: 01/14/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I think you know my opinion of this story, but I guess it doesn't do any harm reiterating it.

BLOODY BRILLIANT

And here's why ...

Not only have you made Ernie come alive and stop being the pompous twit of the books, but you've created a great girl with Mandy. I LOVE the explanation as to why she wasn't asked to be in DA. OF COURSE there would have been DE relatives in other houses, that never gets explained. Then there's your phrasing - 'You're a poo.' That just made me giggle so much. It's such a childish term, but it so suits the piece and it really made me smile. (I'm trying to think whether I suggested it and am hoping I did, but probably it was your idea.) I also giggled that Ernie was 'almost a virgin' ha ha ha. Poor old Ernie, possibly not quite sure if it actually happened.

Ha ha ha ha ha - to the wizarding/witching world gag that seems to have become our pet peeve du jour (or du ans if I'm honest) Was that just for me, or does it annoy you, too?

(I do agree with the rating query. I don't think this should be 1st-2nd - 3rd-5th or possibly 6th-7th.)

Just a wonderful story and I hope it gets the reads and reviews it deserves despite being about Ernie and someone who for all intents and purposes is an OC.

Amazing. Fantastic. Write more - always! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Yay for Mandy! I think shes one of my better OCs. I do like non-weepy girls who have a smart mouth.

Actually, you inspired the Poo insult. LOL! You often use it during our chats and it really fitted Mandy for some reason. As for the wizarding/witching thingy, I have wondered about it before, mainly because I usually wince whenever I have to use man while writing. You know, when we often use man for humanwhich should be huwuman now, lol. But it was your vehemence which made me think about it a bit more passionately.

I have changed the rating it is now erd-5th. Dunno what I was thinking leaving it open to the innocents lol.

Thanks for the read and review always!

~Natalie

 

Harmony by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A poem for Harry/Hermione.

Thanks to Jess for encouraging me to publish this.

I wrote this, not J.K.Rowling; she doesn't ship Harmony. :P

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 100 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/11/11 Updated: 01/16/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/16/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Awwww, it's lovely. Now then, if you squint a bit, ignore the title and your author's note, then it could well be Heron.

Natalie, this is gorgeous. You have such a talent for words and your poetry is sublime. Love this - a lot!

Author's Response: I squinted. It worked! lol

Thanks for the R & R, Carole. I never thought you'd read this one.

~Natalie

 

Unexpected by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Lily Evans finds herself disappointed when James Potter begins dating a new student during seventh year. A casual conversation about how to deal with it leads to unexpected consequences for her…and Sirius Black.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 3948 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/16/11 Updated: 01/16/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

Hello, I've come to review. Well, I should probably tell you (just in case you didn;t lnow) that Sirius/Lily tends to make me feel squicky, so I was going to ignore this and pretend it didn't exist - ha ha.

However, I had read some of this on LJ, and I did remember enjoying all the banter. I do like the relationship between them and it comes over as a lot of fun. You've captured a great side to Lily (she wants fun and gets jealous - YAY) and Sirius is very IC. Bloody American Exchange Student - why was she there? (you do realise that someone will object, but I know this was tongue-in-cheek so hee hee)

You haven't made me jump ship - nothing will ever shift from J/L, but you did make me giggle and yes, I could see them acting this out as I read. Great job!

carole

Author's Response: Ah Carole - hee hee. Thanks for coming by to read this and see how it ended. I'm glad you enjoyed it enough the first time around to finish it up - or maybe it was morbid fascination with the ship? You know how hard I ship James/Lily, so no worries about my canon card there. I'll have to pick your brain about the Sirius/Lily squick factor, though. I certainly don't think it could have, would have, or did happen, but it was a total blast to write. And if it made you laugh, then that is a good thing. Watch out, I may have to post my James/Sirius next... Oh, and you know that American exchange student is in there because I was halfway hoping to write this for that cliche drabble exchange back in August...only Lily/Sirius quickly totally took over. And yes, it has already been pointed out, lol. Thanks again for the review! ~Gina :)

 

Swimsuit Quidditch by Northumbrian
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 50]

Summary:
It is Ginny’s twentieth birthday, and she wants to play a game with Harry.


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2314 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/17/11 Updated: 01/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/22/11 Title: Chapter 1: Swimsuit Quidditch

This was funny. The double entendre is a particularly British genre and you caught that very well. I was giggling along with your other readers. Backtracking, I did like Ginny's gift from George and Ron - very inventive.

Okay, here comes the crit. Neil, I really don't think Ginny would say those things in front of her brothers. Okay, she might say them once or twice to embarrass them, but there is no way they'd be comfortable with that type of conversation. Ron may have relaxed around Harry and Ginny, but he's not going to be happy with Ginny talking about her tits. Trust me, I have brothers. Your parents and your siblings never have sex - the children are born by immaculate conception. ; p

I did like the story and I'm very aware that I'm in the minority here, but I think it would have been better if it had been a quieter conversation - OR if all the Weasleys reacted in the way Percy does. Sorry, I'm very negative, aren't I? Feel free to ignore me or hex me to bits ~Carole~

Author's Response:
On the plus side, you liked the story and I made you giggle. Laughter is always good. It's especially good to know as Ive never tried to write a funny story before.

I have brothers, but no sisters (or daughters), so I cant argue with you from experience. Perhaps my friends and I are simply coarse (or nave in the case of my missus - she is great for an unintended entendre, much to my male friends delight). This is only marginally worse than some conversations Ive heard in front of brothers/friends/teenage kids. Perhaps its different in my part of the UK (I cant use that as an excuse, however, as Harry and Ginny are southerners).

I actually physically moved Harry away from the brothers, but a private conversation seemed a little flat to me (and, also, I wanted to use Fleurs comment). I will ytake another look at thin, but I'm not promising changes. I suspect that pastiche or AU story would make humour easier, as in those cases, characterisation is not an issue.

I may disagree with critics, but I never ignore them. Here are two quotes from Winston Churchill which I try to remember at all times. Good advice from a great (though flawed) man.

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-N-

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/24/11 Title: Chapter 1: Swimsuit Quidditch

Oh, I didn't mean that Ginny wouldn't say those things, and I have a feeling that Harry would have played along for a while, I just think the brothers would have been far more embarrassed and reacted more like Percy did. I liked the conversation with Molly, who I think would have giggled a bit at her daughter (Molly with seven kids is certainly no prude.)

I'm also basing this on 'Him indoors' who has four sisters and really hates getting trapped into their smutty conversations. It's the embarrassment and squirm factor for the Weasleys that I think would have been funnier. It's totally different when you're with friends rather than family as I can attest to after many years drunken conversations with our mates.

I don;t think you should slap an AU tag on it, either. I'm not a fan of that tag being used to change characters. It's like putting Snape in a tu-tu and deciding that's funny. The image is amusing but it still makes no sense.

I'm a picky bleeder at the moment. And yes, it did make me laugh. ~Carole~

Author's Response:
Ah, my mistake, sorry. I can see Molly being practical rather than prudish too.

My first (part time) job straight from school was in a supermarket. The break time conversations between the checkout girls certainly opened my eyes to what women say. You may be right about the brothers,Fleur was distracting Bill, George was concentrating on angeline, but perhaps more reaction would have been better.

Dont get me started on AU, murderous Harry and superpower Harry are two of my biggest hates.

It will continue to bleed if you dont stop picking it!
-Neil-

 

Summary:

For someone who 'missed the screaming', Argus Filch was in his element the day the Carrows set foot into Hogwarts. Who knew that his kindred spirit had been walking the halls of the school for years already?

And it wasn't even Mrs Norris.



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 1978 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/18/11 Updated: 01/18/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

AGHHHHH! I'm shocked. Why? Because I drink PG Tips as well.

Jess, this was macabre but very IC. I often wondered why the Carrows kept Filch on, but I guess they liked abusing him and he'd be useful to them. (Actually, I think Snape rather liked him ... go on, I dare you ...)

Liked this ~ Carole ~

Author's Response:

Filch, to me, has always been a man of few virtues. He just isn't a nice man at all, and you know he has to be bitter about whatever life choices led him to being, in essence, a school janitor and all around life failure. Add that to years of dealing with little bastards like the twins, and it's no wonder he gets his jollies by listening to them scream for mercy.

Pince might not have been so indifferent had the student in question not been a book snatcher, but as that wasn't the case... Well, she's not very nice. 

Thank Hannah for PG Tips. She suggested that or Tetley, and since I don't really like Tetley all that much, the decision was made. :D

I'm glad you liked it, despite its nastiness and not-very-niceness, hehe.

~Jess

 

Snow Angels by lucca4
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Past Featured Story

"The thing is, Draco…Malfoy, I mean. We can't. I can't."

This Christmas season, Hermione isn't fussed with gifts or wrapping paper. A drunken snog has forced her to rethink her feelings for Draco as she makes the ultimate decision between her mind and her heart.

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 2163 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/18/11 Updated: 01/24/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/25/11 Title: Chapter 1: Snow Angels

I like this. *beams*. Okay, I've read a few Dramniones, usually when I'm in a fighting mood - ha ha - and usually they're as implausible as hell, but this is good. You gave Hermione and Draco a reason to at least try and form a relationship, and you didn't ignore Ron. Okay, you killed him, but he was still there and was the most important stumbling block to Hermione getting together with Draco.

Draco is still essentially Draco, as well, so he hasn;t turned into a mush head consumed with love for her. He's still annoyed but is also supremely confident. Lovely Draco characterisation.

Great Christmas story, Ariana ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole! Thank you so much for reviewing :). I'm so glad you liked the story, and especially Draco's characterization because I don't write him nearly enough to feel confident in doing so. Once again, thank you so so much for taking the time to review! xx Ariana

 

Summary: A short tale of the Marauder's friendship and its subsequent demise. Songfic based on "Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Originally written for the Musical Drabble challenge in the SBBC.


Winner of Best Marauder Era Story (one shot) in the Quicksilver Quills 2011!

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 866 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/26/11 Updated: 02/03/11


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Really Love That Rock'n'Roll

I think you know my thoughts already.

Totally mindbogglingly brilliantly mad. I so loved reading this in SBBC and am pleased it's now up on the archives. I had this awful feeling that no one would get it and it would be rejected for ... oh I dunno something nonsensical, but yippeeeeeee, it's here. Okay my review is starting to sound like the fics stream on conscious, and I really have nothing much to say that could be construed as remotely constructive. (sorry, I'll never make SPEW)

I still want to know who Remus' 'proper girl' is... you promised to tell.

Everytime I read this I change my mind about who I liked best ... portrayal wise I mean. I think you did a fantastic job with all of them, and Peter weaving all the way through the fic was just masterful. I still like Remus best (I think) because we see two sides of him and people tend to class him as just 'the sensible one'.

Not much more to say except the end brings home the whole Marauder tragedy. James and Lily - died too soon. Sirius never really regained any happiness. Remus was more alone than he had ever been and Peter ... he lost everything and lived in fear for the rest of his life. Ah, whatever happened to Saturday Nights? *sob*

Amazing ~Carole~

Author's Response: I love you Carole! Thanks so much for the kind words. I was worried that it wouldn't be validated too. One of my goals when writing this was to definitely show different sides of the Mauraders. Since we don't know much about them, a lot of the time we have to use stereotypes. Um, I'm afraid that you're going to be disappointed with the "proper girl" bit. It's absolutely no one in particular. Actually, in my mind I think that I was even imagining a random Muggle girl (because this fic is very Muggle influenced). Sorry to disappoint! I only led you guys on about it because I wanted to see what you came up with. Sorry if it's a bit of a let down! *sheepish face*

 
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