Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I'm a grown woman living in London but I'm obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

Different in the Morning by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: Seventh year is almost over, and after indulging in the kitchen a bit too much, James inadvertently reveals his deepest fears for the future. Lily realizes he is not quite who she thought he was, and admits to something she had never really considered before.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Substance Abuse

Word count: 12404 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/17/10 Updated: 09/30/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/18/10 Title: Chapter 1: Part One-The Night Before

Hello,

Yes, it's me! Had to read your story because a) it's J/L and I'm on that ship and b) it's written by you. *beams* I like this. I love the premise, and James comes over as wonderfully tortured and very different from the irresponsible prat we usually see. James, in fact, is wonderful here. You have a great understanding of his character.

Your writing as always is wonderfully descriptive. I adore the scenes by the lake and when he's swimming. The plot too is good, simple but very effective.

I do have a nit pick or two (sorry) Sirius's uncle died. Apparently he was also blasted off the family tree, so Sirius was keen on going to pay his respects to a fellow black sheep." Sirius in OOTP says Alphard was blasted off the tapestry because he left him some gold. So, I don't think he'd have been blasted off at the time of the funeral because wills take a month to process according to Hermione and Scrimgeour.

The other thing was that I was unsure about Lily here. She came over as very naive about what was happening in the world. She's going to be in far more danger than pure-blooded James and Sirius, despite them being blood traitors and fighters. Yet she seems almost disconnected from what is going on in the outside world. As a witch who has a real connection with the outside world due to her Muggle parents, in my opinion, she would be far more aware than those who were brought up solely in the magical world. At one point I wanted her to get really angry with James because he was banging on about his worries, whereas she's the one who faces persecution. I'm not saying that James didn't have a right to moan because I think it's clear that he was worried and scared for all the right reasons - including his concern for her. James, as I said, was bang on the money, but Lily felt a bit off in places.

Damn! I feel mean now, because I genuinely loved the story. It flowed well, and had a great story. The moments when he was puking were so funny, I was so pleased he didn't try to kiss her - ha ha ha. I can't wait for part 2.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Hi Carole! Don't feel mean, lol. I appreciate the review and am just glad you came to read this. I really, really enjoyed writing it. Do you remember when Natalie's status said something about writing a drunk character? That's where I got the idea. I don't mind your nitpicks. As for Sirius's uncle, I will reread that bit in OotP. I can tweak that line easily. I still imagine him being a bit of a black sheep (ha - I just got my double meaning, lol!) but perhaps he wasn't blasted off until later. Easy fix, that's why you are the timeline queen! :) As for Lily...hm. I can totally see your point, that's for sure. All I can say is that I deliberately wrote her that way because I wanted them both to be slightly different than usual - ie, James with his fears for the future, and Lily with her slightly naive but hopeful plans for the future. She is ready to move on, excited to be starting her own life - she doesn't share James's trepidation about the future, she's far more positive. I guess that comes across as ignorant, but she doesn't see it affecting her in terms of having to fight like James does. Talking with James makes her realize just what life post-Hogwarts will be like with the war. I address it in the next part but I'll be sure to flesh it out a bit so she is more the character readers know and recognize (even though she is in my head - just got to get that out.) I hope that makes sense, and I hope that you enjoy the next part and how things resolve. Thanks so much for reading this story and leaving such a nice, detailed review! I really appreciate the feedback!! ~Gina :)

 

Patterns in the Smoke by Inclination
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: "Regulus thinks it’s better than way, easier. He tries not to think of fragile bone-masks and bodies that are already dead when they hit the floor with a hollow thump. " Regulus introspective, Regulus/Snape.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Dubious Consent, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Slash, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 1158 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/18/10 Updated: 09/19/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/20/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I clicked on this because the pairing intrigued me and I'm glad I did. I like your style of writing very much and thought you portrayed Regulus brilliantly. I think this shows how he got in far to deep to something he didn't fully appreciate when he first became a DE and his reliance on alcohol at the end shows a soul beginning to change.

I'm unsure about Snape. Not because of his eternal 'love' for Lily blah blah blah, but because I can't really see him making the first move like that. I almost feel that it would have been better if Regulus had kissed him first. He never made any moves with Lily and he knew her very well, so to suddenly launch himself at Regulus seems almost out of character.

The scene back at his flat was excellent especially Snapes revelation that he knew the people Regulus had killed. Made me think he'd just killed Lily's parents. I'm slow on the uptake, so was I right?

Good story ~Carole~

Author's Response: Wow. Thankyou so much... it may sound cheesy, but I'm a huge fan of your work, so the fact that you said you liked my writing style is a huge compliment (and this is my cue to turn bright red). I'm really glad you enjoyed Regulus' characterisation... and as for the Snape, part, I guess as I was writing it, it just felt like the right thing to do. I think Snape and Regulus are just two very lonely people... to me, it made sense to throw them together somehow. You were right about the couple Regulus killing being Lily's parents... I wondered if people would notice that, seeing as even my beta didn't :P Thankyou again for your review, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

 

What We Lost in the War by solemnlyswear_x
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Susan Bones reflects on coming home.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1070 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/19/10 Updated: 09/19/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh Oh Oh! I remember you writing the drabble for this in the TTB comp two years ago. It was the line about the pudding that did it. Ha ha.

This is such a lovely piece. So evocative of the feelings she must have been going through. And I love the way you seemed to catch the very essence of the Houses in their reactions to being back. The Gryffs made me laugh as they were starting a food fight, I was grinning and thinking of the Marauders (I know they were all dead, but nice to think they live on in spirit)
,br> I have a small question about Justin. He makes a comment about being a 'seventh year again' but he didn't go to Hogwarts in that year because he was a Muggle-born and so in hiding. You also mention him losing two cousins and I don't think he would have done because they'd have been Muggles. That's not to say no one from his family would have died, but I think you could possibly expand that bit slightly to show that not everyone who died was someone magical.

This is a lovely story though. So thank you for expanding it and giving me the chance to read it again. ~Carole~

 

In the Ashes by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 96]

Summary: Past Featured Story

In her seventh year, Katie Bell knew what it was like to fear death. A year later, she learnt what it was like to see it in front of her. Nothing she had ever experienced had prepared her to deal with the aftermath of that. And then he came.

Caught in a whirlwind of Quidditch, heartbreak, and a rivalry, Katie struggled with her jumbled mess of feelings, one of which she hadn't expected but was growing certain that she could never live without.

 

Katie/Oliver

 

Oh my freaking Salazar! This story WON TWO 2011 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Post-Hogwarts Story and Best Non-Canon Romance Story. *flail*


 

 

This (late) update was brought to you by the (belated) birthday of the ever-lovely Hannah / h_vic. She is a star and an excellent friend!




Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 80503 Chapters: 12 Completed: No
Published:
09/20/10 Updated: 06/01/12


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Despite the fact that Oliver is clearly gay *snigger* I suspended my disbelief and horror at his heterosexuality to read your story. Pretty damn glad I did as well.

Fairly fabulous start. I really am impressed with Katie in this and the fact that she hid. Okay, I don’t mean I’m impressed with her, but I do love the way you’ve written this. We have this idea that Gryffs are always brave, but she was scared – and not surprisingly when she’d just seen Fred die.

Katie had never seen anyone die before. It felt like something filthy that couldn’t be washed from her skin, almost as if she had done it herself. That was when she realised that she was a coward. Incredibly good set of lines there, Jess. I think your writing here sets the tone perfectly for the piece and the conflicts in her mind.

I giggled at the Confunding of the taxi driver. It added a slightly lighter moment, but also introduced a touch of magic at the beginning. In general, apart froma bit of Apparition, I find a lot of fanfic authors somehow ignore the magic to concentrate on the plot. You haven’t so thank you!

I liked Fred’s funeral (well, not like exactly) and the idea of the jokes was good. I was also pleased that Katie couldn’t think of a joke. It seems fitting that although this was what Fred would have wanted, some people wouldn’t be able to cope with the idea of jollity.

Hmm, no mention of George, though. I think I understand because if you start writing George then it could take over, however you didn’t reference him at all – did you? That felt wrong, somehow and it was a jarring note to what was a good chunk of the story.

When Oliver kissed her, I did start thinking that this was a bit too soon, and his offer to put her up felkt rushed because I didn’t understand his motives. However, remembering a chat with you, I do know a bit more about his side of the story, so I’m aware that there is a story to Oliver that isn’t just about him being kind. The sex scene (or nearly sex scene) was well done. Again, I was twitching a bit at the sooness of it, but then again, both had faced death and just come back from a funeral, so in the end it felt right. I was pleased Oliver pulled away, though – he does have some chivalry left – ha ha ha.

Nit pick time (but not Brit-picks)

the only wizarding establishment anywhere her hometown in South Leigh. There’s a missing word here.

Kenwick, - you said Keswick earlier.

I am impressed with the mention of Quidditch and will be very interested in the rest of the story. Knowing you as I do, this isn’t going to be fluff or mere smut. I reckon there’s a cracking tale coming out over the next few chapters. Please make sure you finish it. I am adding this to favourites – NOW! (and I don’t do that very often)

~EQ~

Author's Response:

Hello, EQ! I'm glad that Bartender J was able to deliver at least to some degree on the story that has taken over her life. :D

I know it seems weird in retrospect that George wasn't mentioned, but Katie really wasn't bothered to think about anything at the moment. Her brain was stuck on how she saw her friend be murdered and how much she really didn't want to be there.

And then Oliver kissed her. Why did he do that? Well, he definitely didn't mean to take it that far. It was supposed to have been a light, sweet kiss meant to show support, but damn it all if they didn't find latent sexual attraction, not to mention a hell of a good reason to want to change the current subject. I suppose when two people are attracted to one another and they're already in the mode of not being bothered to think much (and Oliver's side of the story is coming next chapter), they do things that are...ill-advised (although fun to read/write).

I will go back and fix my little city slip-up. I spent nearly an hour with my face stuck in maps, trying to find the town. I'll be damned if I can actually remember the one I actually picked. >.> :D

And Quidditch will play a HUGE part in the rest of the story. The next chapter is filled with it, actually. I might have to make a glossary of sports terms, or at least extend an invitation to ask me all the question one might need to follow some of it. Prepare to be immersed in sports culture. :D

As you read this, Chapter 2 will be added to the queue. Hopefully this time, though, it doesn't take six days to escape. 

Heart you for being my first (and I suspect only) review. Until we meet again in The City.

~Bartender J

 

Jealousy by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: What caused Ron's sudden hatred for his favorite quidditch player?

What made Hermione ask out a boy who "makes Grawp look a gentleman"?

...

Jealousy.



Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1191 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/23/10 Updated: 09/27/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/28/10 Title: Chapter 1: Green Represents More than Slytherin House...

OH, hello. Yes, I did like this. I think i preferred the Hermione part of the story to the Ron (although I liked Ron as well) because you nailed Hermione. I love that she had a plan, and then turned to another plan to make Ron hurt.

Ron was sweet. I did smile over the fact that he refused to believe he felt anything for Hermione and was annoyed because she was with his hero - ha ha.

Nice job ~Carole~

Author's Response: Wow, hi, Carole! Thank you for reading my one-shot!

"You nailed Hermione." I've been told I have a knack for writing her. That makes me very glad that you thought so to. Thank you for stopping by!

 

Well Worth The Trouble by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: When James becomes the victim of Sirius's Valentine's Day prank, Lily is forced to watch over him and keep him out of trouble for the evening. Yet even after a rather long night, she can't help but wonder if perhaps it had been worth it after all.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 5908 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/23/10 Updated: 09/23/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/24/10 Title: Chapter 1: Well Worth The Trouble

Aww, this is brilliant. Umm, if I made a list of the bits I loved, I'd basically be copyingh the whole story. Suffice to say I think you caught Lily brilliantly and James was a love. I was surprised at Sirius because you often say you can't get him, but this is very good. He's arrogant and also has that touch of spite and thoughtlessness that I'm sure he possessed. It was typical of him not to consider the feelings of the girls involved, especially poor Henrietta who would have been the most badly affected (the other girls and McG could handle James ... but her?) So, great job with Sirius.

I did giggle and smile, notably when James told McG she was the best cat at Hogwarts and the thought of Sirius speaking Swahili .

I do hope they pay back Sirius and get together this valentines day (pretty please, write some more even though it will take you beyond my reach *sigh*)

I loved this very much and it cheered me up. So, thank you. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hi Carole! Thank you so much for such a really lovely first review. It was so nice to wake up to. :) I hope you are not going easy on me because I've been whining on LJ lately! ;) I thought for sure you might Brit-pick a thing or two - in fact, I made one change from the original just so you wouldn't catch it, lol! I'm really glad you liked it and it cheered you up. This was the story I was excited about capturing a bit of a snarky tone, so I'm glad you liked Lily. I had a blast with it, and with her epithets in particular. I actually have started writing a sequel for the next Valentine's Day. Apparently there are infinite possibilities for the way they get together in my sad little brain. So someday. Maybe Valentine's Day? Thanks again, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)

 

Lady by armagod679
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: There are certain indispensable rules in the house of Black. You must stick with purebloods. You must disdain Muggles. You must keep up decorum at all times. You must show off your magic. You must appear to be a lady so a good pureblood boy will want to marry you.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1552 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/26/10 Updated: 09/27/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is an original idea. I like the reinforcement of the rules over and over again to Narcissa. Through Bellatrix's eyes we see a sister who was given very little choice about her way forward, but appeared to want her way of life anyway.

I have a bit of a quibble about your time line and ages. Narcissa was born in 1955 (according to JKR's Black family tree). Sirius was born in 1960, so when Cissy was seven, he would have been two. I doubt whether they'd have been able to deduce from that age that he wan't following rules. Also you say that Lucius was several years old than Narcissa, but he was a prefect when Snape and the others were Sorted, so at the most was only two years older than Narcissa. I'm also pretty sure that Narcissa was never a Death Eater. She supported them, but didn't have the Dark Mark on her arm.

I think you captured both sisters well in this fic. Bellatrix isn't totally over-the-top mad, but has a wry way with words. The bit where she's facing the Potters and exclaims that Potter was always too fast, made me smile slightly.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for your response. The Black Family Tree is not my strong point-- for more details, see my long work "Marauders to the End." I've gone round and round with mods about it and have finally given up since I can't add anyways. It never says in the book whether or not Narcissa was a Death Eater. That's another thing I argued with the mods about, since the Lexicon has her listed as a supporter. I thought she was and it works either way. Thank you for reviewing!

 

A Friendship Broken by mudbloodproud
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: *”Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter,” said Lupin. “I assume that’s why you didn’t tell me, Sirius?” he said casually over Pettigrew’s head.

“Forgive me, Remus,” said Black.

“Not at all, Padfoot, old friend,” said Lupin, who was now rolling up his sleeves. “And will you, in turn, forgive me for thinking you were the spy?”

“Of course,” said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face…*



Those words, spoken between two old friends, lead one to wonder why two friends could have ever suspected each other of being a traitor. What could have happened once they left school to make them distrust each other?


**Quote is directly from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – Chapter 19 – The Servant of Lord Voldemort - page 273


Everything you recognize belongs to J. K. Rowling. I am just thankful to be able to play in her world for a little while.


This story is dedicated to Carole. She gave me the prompt to inspire my muse again and without her, I think my muse would still be in hiding. Carole, thank you for bring back the voices in my head. And your invaluable Brit-picking.

I must also thank Bine for doing a quick and valuable beta job for me on this. Muse wasn’t interested in making sure it was all correct, she just wanted to write.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 8560 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
09/26/10 Updated: 10/10/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/02/10 Title: Chapter 1: Distrust and Trust Misplaced

Oh, great reasoning, Terri. I hope this cleared a few things up in your mind. It all makes a lot of sense now - LOL.

Ah, Marauders and Sirius, you really do write them with flair. Sirius is great in this, as are the others. I liked Remus' flash of anger, especially. Peter was great. I'm glad you resisted the urge to have him overly sneaky. He was unobtrusive as he should be. I'm not convinced by the better Charms grade than Sirius, though. I'm still of the opinion that his grades weren't that brilliant - his value to the group being something other than brains - his sheer ordinariness being a foil for James and Sirius for one thing. No, I don't think he was a dunce, but I can't see Sirius getting less than an E for Charms and Peter getting an O ... no, I can't see it, or Flitwick would have eulogised over him when they were in the Three Broomsticks. - Sorry, that's minor, it was just a little pick.

Anyway, I loved the story, and am honoured my prompt set you back to writing again. I hope this continues.

~Carole~

Author's Response: My dear Carole,

We have spent numerous hours discussing the Marauders. In my mind, and I guess I should have explained it in the story, was that the only reason Sirius got a lower grade was because he was cocky, overconfident and goofing off as that is just the way he is.

hmmm, perhaps this won't be just a two-shot as muse just had an idea for a final chapter tying this one and Remus' together. hmmmm

Anyway, if you like Remus' flash of anger in this, wait until I put up his chapter. hehehe

Thanks hon for taking the time to give me your thoughts and for the prompt that brought the muse back.

Terri

 

Cut by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: She thought having her hair cut would make a difference. Unfortunately, she was right.



Warning: This story is originally rated 6th-7th year for language and sexual situations. The rating has been changed temporarily only because we're having some technical problem with stories that have higher ratings. So, please click at your own discretion.

Thanks to Carole for her excellent Brit-picking, sentences (heehee), and summary. Thanks also to Gina for agreeing to read through this, for all her suggestions and comments. And finally, to Kara and Lea for their support and encouragement.



DISCLAIMER: This isn’t J.K Rowling. This is a fanfic writer on a mission to submit to every category available on the archives.



Nominated for a QSQ in the Same Sex Pairing category.

Categories: Femmeslash Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 4062 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/28/10 Updated: 10/03/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: Cut

You know how much I adore this, but I had to give you a review because it is just a perfect story. I love your Dominique and Lakshmi is just wonderful. You've created a wonderful character there. Full of life, laughing yet so blind to what her friend feels for her. I feel so badly for poor Dominique.

The plot of getting her hair cut is so simple yet it's rich in symbolism. Gah, what can I say - I'm not a Spew-er. Just wonderful. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks! I am happy the hair-plot worked out. :) Also, they might return for a happier sequel!



~Natalie.

 

Letters from the Tent by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 36]

Summary: A distraught Hermione takes quill to parchment.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3391 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
10/01/10 Updated: 10/02/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/02/10 Title: Chapter 1: The Letters

Oh Lori, this is utter, utter love. I adore this story. It's a wonderful romance, but not too fluffy. Yes, there's some, but this is a canon couple who are just so right for each other (Damn ... what have I done with Shrouds!)

Youreally write so well, so wonderfully descriptive about this pair and you capture Hermione and Ron's relationship so wonderfully.

Must stop gushing now. I can't say anymore than I already have ... but I loved it.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Aw, Carole, thanks so much. I have a seriously unhealthy attachment to these two, which is why I have been avoiding Shrouds for now. *insert embarrassed smiley here* It's so ridiculous, but even though I know it will be wonderfully plausible and well-written, it will also bum me out for days. LOL. And things are just starting to look up around my life. Hehe. Thanks so much for reading this angst-fest and leaving me such lovely comments. I'm so glad you thought it worked. :)

 

Murder for Love by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Five haikus for the Bloody Baron.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 138 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/02/10 Updated: 10/11/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/11/10 Title: Chapter 1: Murder for Love

AGHHHHH!

Far too scary!

Great poem, Natalie. You've managed to encapsulate their story in a marvellous set of haikus that are really atmospheric. I love the last haiku the most - the line 'Ghosts for angels.' is spine-tinglingly good.

Great job. I know what a hard task this was. Good luck in the triathlon. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ooh! I am happy to hear it scared you. It was meant to create some sort of a horrific effect on the readers. The last one is my favourite as well. :D:D Thanks for the review!



~Natalie.

 

Friendly Competition by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: When the Halloween Hogsmeade weekend is canceled due to the war, James Potter proposes a flying race around the grounds as a way for the students to interact and keep up their spirits. He is surprised when Lily Evans not only enters, but plans on winning. A spirited wager is made, but the race turns darker than anyone imagined, with the outcome quite unexpected.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 9757 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/08/10 Updated: 10/14/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Part One: On Your Mark...

What can I say? A James/Lily written impeccably by Gina. I'm in canon ship heaven.

What I particularly like about this story is that you have an actual plot goingon and it's not just about James and Lily in a will they/won't they scenario (although I'm pleased to see that happening as well - hee hee.)

Great first chapter and I can't wait for the rest.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, you KNOW what happens next, lol. I might not have sent this off for the ficfest if you hadn't assured me it wasn't as uneven as I thought it was. I'm actually starting to like it quite a bit now. :) And I'm glad you liked it. Yes - a plot, imagine that. Er. what does that say about my other J/L story where the plot IS just about them getting together? Eep! ;) Well, I'll put up the rest of this one (and hopefully that other one) soon. Thanks again for your help and thank you so much for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

 

Don't Tell Me by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: In her sixth year, Ginny had to deal with many things. The Carrows' brain washing, her parents' cautions, the fears of the students she led...

This is my poetic representation of her thoughts throughout the year.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 98 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/11/10 Updated: 10/11/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/12/10 Title: Chapter 1: Don't Tell Me

Hello,

This is rather good. I think you've captured Ginny pretty well in her resilience and her understanding that she too can aid the cause by restarting Dumbledore's army. Your first line 'Don't tell me not to cry' had me twitching a bit because I think of Ginny as a character who doesn't cry ... unless she's by herself. However I was reassured byt your second line where she's belligerently assuring us that we won;t see her cry.

I loved the lines where she's talking to her mum. I felt a little tear form in my eyes at that point.

Hmm, I think I'd have preferred the poem to end at that point and not have the last two lines. Ending with her worries about Molly made it more poignant, although ending with Harry makes the poem more hopeful, so it's very much a personal choice.

Anyway, I like this very much and hope you write more poems. Have you checked out Poetry Anyone, yet? ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole,

My goodness, you thought it was good? Well, then, thank you. I do not claim to be a poet in the least. I thought it was fair, but not that good... So, thank you.

With the first line, I imagined Ginny looking out a window or something, and Neville thinks she's crying, and he, being the sweet awkward soul that he is, tries to comfort her, telling her not to cry. Of course, in my mind, Ginny doesn't react well, because she isn't crying, no matter how much she might like to.

The lines about Molly were rather spur of the moment, actually. I thought of them right before I submitted the poem.

And lastly, yeah, I've looked at Poetry Anyone, but, like I said, I'm no poet. I don't know where this poem came from. I can count the poems I've written in my life on one hand...

Anyway, thank you very much for reviewing, Carole. I'm glad you enjoyed my first HP poem.

 

Summary:

After it was all said and done, Harry wanted a sandwich. However, Ron knew that what he wanted was far deeper and complex and maddening and insufferable. But could Hermione ever forgive him for leaving her behind? Could he ever forgive himself?

 

This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Canon Romance.



Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1377 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/16/10 Updated: 10/18/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Awww, Jess, this is lovely. Just the type of fic I need to read when I have a teenage daughter shouting at me. *sigh*.

Steps back ... wow, you're writing Romione/Heron - heh heh. Seriously, I like this very much and think the characterisation is so good. I'm not entirely convinced by Ron's real reason for leaving Harry and Hermione, but that's my personal opinion and you've made an exceptionally good case for him leaving them. What I would have preferred, I think, is if he'd said it wasn't the entire reason because I do think the Horcrux had a large part to do with it. Anyway, that's by the by and we can debate that until the Nargles fly home.

Ron effing Weasley, slayer of Horcruxes and champion of the elves - ha ha ha ha. Best line ever.

Damn, this makes my rather drunk poetry look even shabbier ... sorry Bob ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Hellooooo, Madam Caroleeee. :D

I'm glad you like the characterisation, considering it's a pairing that I've never written before. I just wanted a sweet little moment that gave Bob warm fuzzies, but also could have ACTUALLY happened. Plus, Ron from the Epilogue has a sort of swagger to him, so that had to start somewhere. lol

Glad you enjoyed it and that it didn't suck for something I wrote in no time flat and read through maybe once. Then again, those seem to be my most popular fics these days. >.<

~Jess

 

My Black Brother by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: He realises his brother was right.



Winner of Stage 2: Free Verse the Second Annual October Triathlon at Poetry Anyone. Nominated for a QSQ for Best Poetry.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 123 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/24/10 Updated: 10/25/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ah! Perfection in free verse. Natalie, you excel in this type of poetry. Not just free verse, but the D/A kind that wrenches at my guts. Just wonderful.

Okay, I guess I need some sort of concrit here, well, there's no crit, but just a total wonder at some of the lines you've used:

Fed the victual of rancour

As I fragment/Drinking in my faults.

Merlin, I'm in bits, here. You've captured Regulus so affectively in these words. I am not at all worthy, and I think you've won this stage.

Lord, I think I need to stop gushing ... but I can't.

One crit - Not enough dialogue for my taste *snort* ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hahaha!



I was worried you may have noticed a slip-up or something. Dialogue? I'll just have to make do with this monosyllabic answer: Hmmmm.



Glad to hear you liked it. :) The poem gave me trouble for some time. One fine day, I'll post the abominable first draft for all to see...provided I haven't deleted it yet. Heehee!



Thanks for the review!



~Natalie

 

Summary: A poem that is set a year or so before Harry finds out that he is a wizard, written from his point of view.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 111 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/24/10 Updated: 10/25/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/30/10 Title: Chapter 1: Harry

Oh! This is really very touching and so sad. Poor Harry, at this age not realising that the dream is true and not knowing how his life will change.

I like the way you structure this poem. These lines: Spits my name with so much Bitterness; to the recollections of my previous dream I clutch. stand out for me, because of the juxtaposition of 'bitterness;' with the dream he desperately needs to remember.

Lovely poem. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hello Carole! Thanks so much for the review! I'm really glad you like the poem:D And yes, you noticed my intentions with relevance to the structuring! :D I've always wondered about those ten years that Harry spent as a child with the Dursleys, and how he actually managed to grow into such a fine young man despite all that neglect and abuse he received.

 

It Could Never Be by Gmariam
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: A poem about all those couples whose love was never meant to be.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 211 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/29/10 Updated: 10/29/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/30/10 Title: Chapter 1: It Could Never Be

Gina, this flows so effortlessly, and evokes so much. There's no faltering or clunky rhymes - it's perfect.

One crit: where's the dialogue? (runs away)

Um, seriously, explain why you don't have a thread in PA. Your poetry is so good, you should join us. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole! I don't know about perfect, but I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, I suppose, mostly because it was just so unexpected! Sorry there was no dialogue, is that even possible in a poem? LOL! *runs away from PA question* Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate the lovely review! ~Gina :)

 

Unsuperior by FawkesToTheRescue
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Ronald Weasley has always felt slightly left out. He's always felt as though he was never quite good enough, and his inner devil endorses this.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 110 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/02/10 Updated: 11/06/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Unsuperior.

Aww, poor Ron.

Megan, this is sad. (I mean the sentiments and not the poem - lol). You've managed to capture Ron's feelings of utter worthlessness so well and I wonder whether he ever managed to escape the feeling that he was overshadowed. (I hope so)


I like your poetry. It flows well, but isn't over-flowery, so well done.

Oh and finally ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

~Carole~

Author's Response: Oooh, thanks so much!! This was a fantastic birthday gift. I really appreciate it. :D Thank you! And I'm not all that fond of Ron . . . all the more reason I wrote this poem. :) I ship Harmony! Thanks again!!

 

Summary:

Albus Potter had what some would call a fascinating job -- working for the Magical Law Enforcement's intelligence department. But when suspicious activity caused the Ministry to think the infamous Knights of Walpurgis were up to something, their leading expert was called into action.

In disguise and out of his mind, Albus embarked on an impossible task, but when things started turning for the worse, why were his only thoughts about the one person he would hurt along the way?

 

This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Next-Generation Story AND Best Same-Sex Pairing Story



Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 25947 Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/06/10 Updated: 12/10/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 01/21/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

YAY! Scorpius is getting a shag! It's been a while, poor love. And now I feel desperately sorry for him, and annoyed with Albus because this looks as if it's all going to end badly.

Jess, this is so original, incredibly funny, but also rather poignant. The plot is wonderful, too. Great job!

Get the man to stop thinking with his pud This confused me. I take it that 'pud' is slang for ... uhm ... penis, but to me it's short for 'pudding' - ha ha - Can you see why I was so confused?

Sorry I've taken so long to catch up. I lubs it (and you) really. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

I love writing things that are on the lines of bizarre, and this will definitely be the most whacked out thing I'll ever write. I just... wanted to step outside of the box. Sure, it gave me all sorts of aggravation, but ultimately, it was worth it. Especially since the end is open-ended, which gives me the chance to write a sequel down the line if I so choose.

Hmm, I should really stop trawling Briticism websites for words, but it was in the evening for me, which is about 3am GST, so I didn't have anyone's brain to pick and I was running low on patience. I should probably pick a different word, but I could also assume that, since the word does exist over here, that by 2038, it will have migrated over there, but I'm too lazy to even do that. :D

I'm glad you liked the story. It was aggravating, nerve-wracking, a source of constant self-doubt, but totally worth it. Plus, it gave me an excuse to get another BB banner.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. One of these decades when I stop trying to write a million things at once, I need to lurk your author page. I hear tell a non-ridiculous Dramione story does in fact exist, despite the ship's dodo bird-like history.

~Jess

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 12/16/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOOOH FABULOSA! *ends review in the hope of a sporky*

Comes back. jess, this is borderline insane ... but brilliantly so. I enjoyed this first chapter ridiculously. The predicament is hilarious, and the plot amazing, but my favourite part of this chapter is Scorpius. It would have been easy to make him a one dimensional lech, but you've given him layers. I'm really rather hoping they both turn out to love each other when Albus is Albus, and that's despite me loving Scorpius/Lily with a passion.

Great first chapter. ~Carole~

Psycho scale >>>> You've passed the Palin level and have reached Tom Cruise.

Author's Response:

Hehe, now you can see why this story drove me spare. It was eating me alive, but I still wasn't sure whether it was good or complete crap. So far so good, and everything is about to take some even stranger turns, lol. I'm glad you like it. XD

~Jess

It is rather insane, isn't it?

 
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