Hello, interesting as always, Jess, and you have a good insight into the minds of that pair. Your James is a jock through and through, Al much more bookish, but they're both alike in their belief that only they are right (I blame that on their father - ha ha).

Okay, I'm going to give you sone crit instead of just gushing as I usually do.

Albus grabbed onto his father’s arm, watching in horror as his brother, who he cared for deeply, no matter what he said, I didn't really like the phrase here about 'cared for him deeply'. It struck me as ... old fashioned, I guess, and as if it belonged in a Historical novelette (Georgina cared deeply for Mr Pennyfeather. Alas the rogue did not return her feelings) I don't think you needed the line because it's obvious from his next actions that he cares very much for his brother.

The other crit I have is that the initial argument, Albus' reaction and James' temper seem disproportionate. I think it's obvious that James would be struggling with being assisted by his girlfriend and his brother, and I found it almost unreasonable for Albus to chastise him over it. I know he was rude to Augusta (who I LOVED by the way), but considering everything, I thought Albus overreacted. What I would have liked, I guess, is some more build up, so Al had seen James react angrily before. Hope that makes sense.Also, I giggled a bit at Al calling James a 'son of a bittch,' because he's basically insulting his own mother. I wish James had called him on that. - LOL

Final notpick is a britpick. Please please please change pants to trousers at the end. I read pants as 'underpants' and I'm wondering why James has got lucky so quickly ... ha ha ... I wouldn't say no though.

And on with the review. I loved the scene with Scorpius. You can see why they have a good friendship, and Scorpius is very likeable. He seems to be the only person who can get through to Albus who is just ridiculously stubborn. And I hate cigars too - yeuch!.

Augusta was lovely. I did wonder if she were a Longbottom because of her name, so I was pleased when she was. It gives a nice symmetry to them and I'm imagining some gorgeous little Hannahesque type children now with pigtails who panic in exams.

In conclusion, this was a good story and I much enjoyed reading your view of the Next Gen Potters. ~Carole~

Author's Response:

Hmm, both you and Gina have fiven me something to think about. I did just take four drabbles and stick them together and call it a story. The only part that I actually wrote without word count in mind was the third one, where they end up fighting.

The one part of the story that I do defend a bit is when Albus calls out James. They are brothers, and Albus knows right away what James is doing. Instead of focussing on recovery, he's focussing on being a patient from hell, not to mention being an ungrateful wretch to his girlfriend, who rightfully should have dumped his arse a long time ago. I suppose that's part of the prior relationship between James and Albus that as of yet exists only in my head manifesting itself. That sort of think is hard to set up when it already exists in my mind. I think you get what I mean. 

Will definitely fix the Britpick. Generally, in UK English mode, I don't even have to think about things like this, as they typically come out correctly, but I was more in 'crank out drabbles' mode. I think that this, among other thing, will require some revisiting on my part.

Lovely review, and, as always, thank you for stopping by. :D

~Jess

Aww, Emma, that's very very sad. You've killed my OTP again *sob sob*. Very well-written. You seem to have got a handle on Tonks as she's torn between love for her husband and love for Teddy. I think there's a third thing that would pull at her, which is that she's an Auror and thus she has the dubious honour of being bound to fight. Does that make sense? I would have liked to have seen that explored a bit more, although you did touch on it briefly when she wanted to go instead of Remus. Brilliant moment there by the way. Oh, and their kiss. Quite perfect.Understated yet so very deep and true.

You hoped with all your might that your child would not be punished for his parents' foolish mistake. I was a bit confused with this bit. Were you saying that teddy's conception was a mistake (quite likely) or that Remus' parents made a foolish mistake that led him to becoming a werewolf. I'm presuming it's the former which makes sense, but just wondered if I'd made an error.

The end was gut-wrenching. Neither could keep their promises, poor Teddy indeed.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Caroleeeee. Thank you so much for leaving such a fab review - all of your lovely comments are greatly appreciated :)

I do see what you mean about Tonks' duty as an Auror, and you're right, it's something that I should have more than likely touched on a bit more, but she seemed to utterly preoccupied during that scene in the books that I didn't feel as if it was high on her list of priorities, if you get me.

Oh, and for your question. Yes, I did mean that Teddy's conception was a mistake - not in the usual way that people take it, but in the risks associated with Remus' lycanthropy, and whether or not that would be passed down to Teddy. Glad to clear that up for you :)

--Emma

ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, This is lovely. Just very funny and I could recognise Teh Irish Banshee's influence here. Oh, poor Liam. Natalie, this was a lovely little snapshot into the beginning of their life together. My only criticism is that it should have been longer. Can you write some more about them. I'd love to know if they stayed together ... ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hehehehe! Teh Irish Banshee can not only wield her Bariche and Oldric Shield well, but come up with cool Irish names, too. ;) Yeah, it should have been longer. D: I think I'll try and add a bit more. Thanks for the review!



~Natalie.

I just chanced on this story as I was flicking through Most recent, and I thought it was quite sweet and amusing. I'm not totally sure you've got Ginny right. She's coming over as very organised - almost Hermione like - and also very girlie - with the eye fluttering etc. Harry is good, being somewhat flustered at Ginny's talk and unsure what to do when she's setting the plans in motion, and Ron looks rather horrified that he ever asked for help, so there's a good basis here for an amusing tale.

I don;t really understand why Ron would even consider asking Luna to come along. She'd probably choose a ring set with a radish or something, but I guess there's some comic potential there.

Exasperatedly, Ginny said, “Would you please keep Hermione busy whilst me, Ron and Luna go and get Hermione’s engagement ring?” Although you can get away with this because it's speech, Ginny should actually say 'Ron, Luna and I'. The way to check grammar in this situation is to remove the two other people, and leave the 'me'. The sentence does not sound correct if she says 'Will you keep Hermione busy whilst me goes to get the ring?'

Anyway this is amusing, so well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Thanks for the constructive bits- they're the most useful :) With Ginny's grammar, I wanted to make it more like what she would say, rather than "grammatically correct" :P Also, with Luna, I figured Ron would want to take another female for assisstance, rather than just going with Ginny- plus there are more comedy oppurtunities with Luna :D With Ginny's character, I can see your point- though in later chapters I think she becomes more Ginny-ish (hopefully). Thanks for taking the time to read and review, please feel free to keep commenting :)

hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahaha - SHOELACE!!!! Oh, Lori, this is so fabulous! You know, the Weasleys standing there in shock and not doing a thing whilst the Burrow burns has never seemed so wrong until you pointed it out. But, yes, I love Molly's outrage, second only to Arthur's enthusiasm for his workshop. That is so very Arthur.

It's easy to miss the glorious characterisation here hidden in the laughs, but you have it all. Albus is a love, Remus absolutely perfect, Minerva suitably calming. You've summed them up all so brilliantly. And got all the bits I ached over in the film into this chapter.

Can't wait for Ginny crying over Dean, the hideous RoR kiss, and Ron's lines being given to Hermione (that still rankles) .

Love this so much. And am giggling far too much.

OH!!!! You MUST do Draco's suit. you MUST! ~Carole

Author's Response: Yay, Carole, I'm so glad you liked it! This chapter gave me fits, but finally, it is done. I'm glad you reminded me about Ginny crying over Dean--I hadn't thought of that, and the next chapters is the last with content for HBP. Ron's lines and his utter Gargoyle-ness will be addressed, though the main issue with be the H/G kissy-poo.

I think of Tonks and Fleur, how fiercely they loved and how little they thought of things as trivial as scars on the one they loved. Ron is like them, and suddenly, so am I. OH Merlin, Lori, that line is so bloody good. This whole story is wonderful. So very touching and true! I usually dislike first person, but it is absolutely the right choice here for Hermione and you really crept into her psyche.

Must stop fangirling or I'll never finish my *coughDramionecough* Brilliant, though. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Um, did you just say fangirling? Excuse me a moment... *faints dead on the floor and recovers as quickly as possible* Hehe. Yay, I'm so glad you like it! That was my favorite line in the original drabble, as I meant it to mark a point of healing for her. Not complete healing, of course, but I think every little bit matters. Thanks so much for the happy review!

Hi there. I do like some Marauder action, so clicked on this expecting something light ad then you write something totally different. The warning at the end from Dumbledore was a timely reminder that the Marauder era was a dangerous one - so well done.

Not sure what to make of Sirius. He seemed vicious towards Lily, and I can't quite believe he'd bad mouth her to that extent, so i suspect there's something else going on here. Did James really take the rejection that hard? Or is something else happening in Sirius' world? Peter having a girlfriend is good. It seems to be breaking them up a bit, and that line about the trolley lady not recognising speaks volumes about his role in that gang. Great characterisation.

Not keen on Sirius calling the girls 'maraudettes'. I do hope they don't call themselves that and it's just his strange idea of a joke.

Matthew Parker seems a decent enough bloke (and a Hufflepuff YAY!)

Nice first chapter, anyway.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for reviewing! It made my morning :]. I'm glad you liked Dumbledore's warning. Sirius can be a little hotheaded at times, and he has a few issues with Lily. I might have overdone that scene, now that I reread it. And don't worry--the "marauderettes" is *not* what Lily and her friends call themselves! I'm happy you thought Peter was satisfactory, I've had the hardest time writing him. And I'm so glad you liked Matthew--there's more insight to his character in the next chapter. Thanks again for reviewing! xx Ariana xx

Nooo, evil manipulative Teddy. Can't have that. He's my utter love bucket. the pride and joy of my two favourite characters. Emma, what are you trying to do to me?

I have to say, I loved this writing, but I was a little bit distracted by desperately needing to know who the two lovers were. At one point I thought it was Draco and Ron (oh wow I want to see that!) then it was James and anyone I could think of with blue eyes, and I was a bit iffy cause James is a bit young. Ignore me I'm rambling ... Teddy and Fred. Mmm, interesting because you have the cousin connection there too. Good characterisation of Fed and through his eyes Teddy as well. So well done for that.You manage to convey some quite beautiful moments here. Fred's angst and his loathing for the situation are really apparant. And the allusion to it being like a drug is an apt one.

Second person. I'm not a huge fan, you know that, but it's well sustained and not too dominating in this fic, but on the whole I'd rather see this as a third person piece. Ignore me, I'm kinda cranky tonight.

Did enjoy this partly because I always love reading your work. So evocative, Emma. ~Carole~

Noooooo. What's happening here? Emma outs him, you kill him. Poor Teddy! Jess, this is very interesting and such a great story. I do like Harry not being quite such a perfect family man. His guilt over neglecting Teddy is obvious, but he still never does a bloody thing about it - tsk tsk - slaps his wrist at that.

I liked all the action scenes and your DE's were suitably ebil. This is silly but my favourite bit was when he thought of Rowle as a 'lummox'. My dad used to use that word so I was giggling at that.

Mmm, nit pick - but not of the Brit kind - this is a canon pick. In the Epilogue (everyone groans) Harry mentions that Teddy comes round for dinner about four times a week, so I'm not sure they would have been so estranged. Although you could say the relationship had vastly improved in the past few years so that could account for the frequency of his visits. Perhaps you did and I'm not reading properly (excuse me, it must be catching *snort*)

I always enjoy reading your portrayal of canon characters, especially the ones we know so little about, because you always present them ion a fresh way.

~Carole~

Author's Response:

Hmm, so you're not throwing things at me for killing of baby Teddy. I feel a bit safer now, lol.

I wanted this to be sort of a moral story that teaches us to live in the now, because who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring. I was sort of inspired by the song Cats in the Cradle by I believe Harry Chapin. Harry keeps getting disctracted until he realises that he's missed so many of Teddy's most important years. He does improve, however. When Harry summons Teddy to his office and asks him to come over for dinner that night and as much as he likes, that was the start of the repairing of the relationship. That's when Teddy was 'over four nights a week' and found time to meet/fall for Victoire. 

Oh, and do be careful about reading properly. Some of that, er, literary, 'it makes me think' might get on you. I hear it burns like a mofo.

Lovely review, and I thank you for your glowing words. *hugs*

~Jess (who is going back to writing her Katie/Oliver smut)

Hello Spire,

Well, this won't be a SPEW quality review, but a few lines to tell you that I like this poem rather a lot. You managed to convey a whole ream of emotions here from guilt, remorse, grief and the agony of not knowing. This was quite wonderful. I', supposing that this is from Albus Dumbledore's POV but actually it could fit Aberforth as well. I think he probably felt some guilt too, although Albus would have shouldered the majority of the burden, I imagine.

As a poetry form, the tritina is hard to get right because it can sound repetitive. I think you avoided that trap by using some normalish words at the end of the lines. It didn't come over as forced in any way. I'm not sure about the last line, though. I think it's too long - and although I love the sentiment expressed I'm wondering if you could chop off the last part (hoping I'm being deceived). The trouble with that is that you lose his hope that he didn't do it. Hmmm, not sure now, perhaps it doesn't matter.

Lovely lyrical poem, Spire. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole. :) Personally I imagined this to be from Aberforth, but when I read it afterwards I decided it could really fit either brother. I guess it depends on the reader. -hugs- xx