Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.


I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

Marauder
A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Juggling
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Veils
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express



Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)



Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)



Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)



Humour
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

Historical
A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)



Mysteries
The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted
Zeitgeist



Poetry
Askew
As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Enslaved
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hexed!
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind
Unreconciled

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Reviews by Equinox Chick
 

A Night of Love by hestiajones
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: A night to forget everything else; a night to remember.



Dedicated to Harry/Ginny.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 124 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/04/10 Updated: 04/15/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: A Night to Remember

Why have I missed reviewing so muchof your poetry. Sometimes I wonder at myself - I'm a right numpty!

This is glorious. The sensuality in your words here is incredible and the stopry could be anyone's except that you've made it Harry and Ginny by use of hair and eye colour.

~Carole~ (9)

Author's Response: I think you did leave a review on my PA thread. Or was that Jess? Oops. Anyway, thankssssssssssss a zillion times. I was on a sensual mood while writing this. *cough*

 

Memories Are Not Enough by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Harry finally arrives at Godric Hollow, but memories are all he finds.



This was written for the Magic in Music Challenge in Poetry Anyone, and it came SECOND. My chosen piece was Harry and Hermione by Nicholas Hooper (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince soundtrack).

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 109 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/15/10 Updated: 04/23/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Mere Memories

I can't remember the music you used here (sorry, I do fail at music), but this is a very evocative piece. Poor Harry, he so badly wants his family back - not a new one - but his mum and dad. Just so sad.

This is a powerful poem and touching, just as that scene was in the film and the book :( ~Carole~ (8?)

Author's Response: I can't remember either. D: I think it was called Harry and Hermione, or something like that. It's been ages ... Thanks for the review! I'm happy you liked it. :) <33

 

Summary:

Lucia Zabini thought that her sixth husband would be her last, but events unfolded that sent her to the altar once more. She was weary of the old vicious matrimonial cycle, and she had fully intended for this to be the last.

Will her new husband find the out the truth of her past, and would he believe that she truly means him no harm?

 

This is ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor of Ravenclaw, and this is my submission for the Madame Pomfrey's Character Clinic Triathlon's Minor Character Challenge. The Prompt selected was the wedding day prompt. This story was selected as the Overall Winner.

This story was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Dark/Angsty Story.



Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3946 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/23/10 Updated: 04/24/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

There's a reason I'm not in SPEW (well, there's a few, but this is the main one) I'm not good at writing quality reviews. So don't expect anything spew worthy.

You know I love this story. I think you found Blaise's beautiful mother's voice remarkably clearly in this fic. She's not the totally calculating and ruthless woman we've been lead to believe, for she does have some feelings - passion perhaps for certain people.

I think ther formal stule you employed in this tale really helped drive the fic. It was her if you see what I mean. I particularly liked the details you put in about her sixth husband and how he died by his own hand. And the way she can't bear the eyes staring out at her ... although it doesn't seem to affect her for long, I have to say.

She's different from my Karis (formerly Zanini now Flint) altough they both have that cold streak running through them and the one person they seem to care for is Blaise. (I b29; Blaise *sigh*)

Good luck in the challenge; this really is brilliant, Jess, so I don't think you need my good luck wishes.

~Carole~

Author's Response:

As you know, I heart you mucho, and your reviews always make me smile. You pick out what you liked and what you don't (though that seems to be inapplicable in this case), which is more than 75% of all reviewers (actually, probably higher). Who cares if they're not a mile long? I don't. I just care that you read it and liked it. :D

I wanted her to be someone that the audience favoured, but not completely. I debated whether to go into more details about further husbands (most of which died for evidence reasons, as they each found out about the successive ones/vicious cycle/causality loop/blah blah), but I thought the slice of humanity with the sixth one was enough to make her not the COMPLETE villain, which was important.

Thanks for reading! I must troll your author page again soon. 

Luvvv,

Jess

 

Summary: War is looming right outside the door as a mother rocks her child to sleep.



A sonnet written for the Diamond Challenge at PA. My chosen theme was Innocence.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 111 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/24/10 Updated: 05/06/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/06/10 Title: Chapter 1: Sleep, my child.

I think I reviewed this in the PA thread, or attempted to offer some crit. However I shall review here too. I can't find a fault with this poem, so that's my crit out of the window. It is a beautiful poem, very sad. I love, love love the way you've introduced the seasons to represent the moods. So sad, so bittersweet. I did actually assume this was Lily and Harry, but it could be Alice and Neville - I suppose.

Beautiful. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for the second review! :) I also thought of Lily and Harry, and then Alice after reading the reviews. Now, I suppose it can be any mother. ;)



Really glad you liked it! Thanks!



~Natalie.

 

The Note He Left by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary:

A note was discovered in the aftermath of Harry's capture at Malfoy Manor. It's sweet, it's romantic, it's...complete fluffy rubbish.

What will happen to this heartfelt missive? Will it find its intended recipient, or will it be lost in the wreckage of Voldemort's former occupation?



Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1813 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/25/10 Updated: 05/03/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/04/10 Title: Chapter 1: Dearest Ginny

Now then, you say this is fluff. Hmm, it is not fluff, or at least it is fluff of the highest quality because:

a) The letter is heartfelt

b) Draco's appearance turns it into a good fic.

Draco is wonderful. His cynicism about Potter, his anger with the Ministry and his fear of 'hostile Weasleys' are so IC. And I adored how he was actually sorry about Fred dying.

I know you dislike this, but I found it warm, funny and ... just very in character for all of them.

~Carole~

Author's Response:

Thank you, Madam Caroleeeee. :D

I put Draco in it so I could bear to finish writing it. I needed a medium of delivery, since I think Harry would never have given it to her, but Draco was my personal indulgence.

I tried to make it IC without taking away from the fluff. Amanda loves fluff, as you know, so I couldn't leave that out, now could I?

Thanks for reading...it still gets me that it's read so much, but I haven't got any bad reviews for it, so I acknowledge that it isn't completely hideous, lol.

Jess

 

The (Other) World by U-No-Poo
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Hermione Granger was a plain, nerdy eleven-year-old girl, anticipating the start of high school and a new beginning to re-invent herself. Little did she know that her 'new beginning' would be something else entirely that she'd never consider in her wildest dreams.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5381 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/26/10 Updated: 04/26/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: The (Other) World

Awww, this is sweet. I love the fact that Hermione had a friend from back home, who wasn't totally nerdy, but normal. I also liked the portrayal of her as not quite fitting into her Muggle world. Pomona Sprout was an interesting choice for home visitor and a good one. She always struck me as the most approachable and least frightening of Hogwarts professors so she'd be able to reassure those Muggle parents.

I do have a slight query, I thought children received their letters on their eleventh birthdays which would mean Hermione would have got hers in September. Well, that's what happened to Harry, but then perhaps that was coincidental and the letters are all sent out in the summer hoilidays. It in no way detracts from your story ... I just wondered, that's all.

I liked Dean's appearance in the story (I have a bit of a soft spot for Dean) and also Chris' letter at the end. That was a great touch and I hope Hermione stays in touch with him, although I bet Ron won't like that one bit - ha ha.

Nice fic. Well Done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! Nah, it's probably a coincidence that Harry got his letter on his birthday. All the letters would be sent out in the summer along with the normal ones for people from second to seventh years. And yes, Ron won't like it one bit. Tough luck, Weasel King. It's staying!

 

Second Chance by WeasleyMom
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary:

Everything was beautiful, and Hannah felt calmer than she had all day; she felt all of the unsettled thoughts beginning to find their places in her frazzled mind.


This story won second place in the second round of the Character Clinic Triathalon: minor characters ~~~ prompt: wedding day



This story was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award in the category Best Canon Romance.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2849 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/26/10 Updated: 05/08/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Second Chance

OOOH, I think this is lovely. You know, I'd never considered Hannah and Nevilles tragic connection - that they both lost thier mums, and this has sparked something off in me now *ponders*.

Lori, this is so sweet and I can really see why this pair were meant to be together. I like how you've woven the canon in so well - Erne being her best friend, Hermione not really being a 'girly girl' either. You've done such a good job.

Mnor britpick - we say 'mum' not 'mom' but that's me being my usual annoying self so ignore me.

I have to admit to crying when I realised what hannah had done with the sweet wrapper - very touching moment, I just hope Neville doesn't cry too much when he sees it. Oh, and I laughed when her Dad was calling her and Neville was grumbling. Just wait one more day, Neville! He (Neville I mean) was great in the story. Confident and caring, just the attributes we see in the books (especially the last one).

Lovely story, but sorry about the rather rambling review. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, you have made my day. I'm so glad you liked this. I confess I was not sure Neville and Hannah were the right choice for this prompt, but once I got going, I enjoyed writing it very much. I've been drabbling about them a bit, too... okay, just once, but that is in TTB. I do think the connection of their sadness would have been something that drew them to one another. Shared pain is a powerful connection in all kinds of relationships, I think. Thanks for the correction. I actually used the word two or three times in this, but missed one of those. I'm glad you caught it. I always like knowing those things... so easy to fix, unlike a broken jaw that never stops talking. HA! (which I plan to correct over the summer) I sort of think Neville should discover the wrapper there on his own. He's into flowers, right? So maybe he's looking at the arrangement later, at the reception, and he feels it there like Hermione did... aw, I really love these two. Thanks so much for the lovely review, Carole!

 

Seamus' Break with a Banshee by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: He had always been scared of the green-skinned fiend, but now that she was threatening someone precious to him, he had to stand up and fight.



This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff writing for Madam Pomfrey One-Shot Triathlon - Round Two: Minor Canon Characters



Many, many thanks to Kara (Karaley Dargen) for beta-ting this for me at such short notice.



DISCLAIMER: Definitely not J.K.Rowling.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 2116 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/29/10 Updated: 05/09/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Don't Touch Me Mam!

Of course that wasn't Lavender ... she's in London with another wizard ... we both know that. *smirk*

Natalie, this is fun and very clever. I loved the folklore feel to this, and Seamus' character is well realised. The Banshee's appearances were particularly scary and the tension in the fic was brilliant. I also loved the way you flicked to humour at the end with Mrs F wanting her cuppa and Debra becoming suspicious of Lavender - ha ha. I have a small quibble over his mam recovering quite quickly. I had the feeling she was really ill (bed ridden), so her getting up was a bit jarring. However I also wondered if her illness was psychosomatic and induced only by this myth of the Banshee ... so my quibble is very minor.

All in all, this was great. It made me quite scared for seamus, interested in his character, and also laugh. Well done! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole!



I am so happy you caught the 'folkloriness' of this fic. You know I did my research in like 15 mins, so I was worried if I'd screwed it up. And, halfway into the fic, I realised I didn't want this to end sadly, but with humour. And you're right about Mrs F - her illness wasn' t supposed to be that seriousness, but her fear of the Banshee made it worse.



You know what, that is actually my fault. I was so concerned with finishing the story in time I didn't pay much attention to that. I had the plan in my mind, but I forgot to execute it. :-( But THANKS FOR THE REVIEW! It made my night last...night. ;)



~Natalie.

 

Too Rash With the Rash by Karaley Dargen
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Molly Prewett and her best friend Lucy have had enough of Bellatrix Black, and so have dozens of other students. If the two girls played a prank on Bella-Cruella, as students call her when she can't hear them, they would certainly go down in Hogwarts' secret history of famous pranksters.

Their plan is easy and foolproof until another Gryffindor decides that he has been pushed around for too long, and takes a step that everyone will regret in the end.

This was originally written for the April Monthly Challenge in TTB, but turned out.. a bit too long. This is the longer, and in my opinion, much better version.

A billion thanks to Natalie for being a fantastic beta and friend!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2511 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/04/10 Updated: 05/05/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/06/10 Title: Chapter 1: Too Rash With the Rash

“No offense, Weasley,” Molly said, raising an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think you’ve got the stomach for this. Why don’t you... I don’t know... go play with some plugs before class or something?”

Crying with laughter. Awww, poor Arthur. I hope Molly learns her lesson (but I doubt it.) Kara, this is a real gem of a story. You kept me guessing, I really thought Bellatrix was going to get her just desserts, so it was clever that she didn't. I should have known, though, as I did set this particular challenge - ha ha.

I think what I like the most is your characterisation. Mollly is great - not as naughty as the Twins and has a certain amount of responsibility - I'm thinking that she's quite Ron like (ahhh, good old Ron). Arthur is great. Mild mannered and yet he stands up to Molly and proves himself worthy. And so onto Bellatrix. The temptation with Bellatrix is always to make her EVIL from birth, when in all liklihood she probably wasn't. You have her as b itchy, but not a total psychotic murderer, and I like that.

Great job on an original fic using underused characters. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Haha thank you so much, Carole!

Yeah, I always thought Molly was a lot like Ron might have been if he hadn't been so busy fighting evil from year one... Molly can be a bit unfair, and a bit of a hothead, but she would never really want to hurt anyone she likes. It's just because Bellatrix is such a bitch, and they are teenagers, and...

It's a shame though, that Bellatrix never did get her boils, isn't it...

I really like writing Molly and Arthur... I might write a chaptered story some day, if I ever get enough ideas...

 

Summary: A young Moaning Myrtle whines about all her complaints and injustices. It's a story from her perspective about her first few weeks at Hogwarts. It will either make you hate or pity Myrtle.




Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1887 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
05/24/10 Updated: 05/24/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 07/25/10 Title: Chapter 1: Introducing Myrtle

Excellent idea for a fic. Poor old Myrtle, she really doesn't make the best of things here, does she? You can very clearly see the canon ghost in this girl. She is whiny, but thinks she's special. Ah, she will be soon. Poor thing. Great idea and a good read. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Sorry this took me so long to get too, I didn't realize I had a review! Thank you so much - although I haven't had the dedication to follow up with it. Maybe once there's more time! Thanks so much again, and sorry for not getting back to you.

 

What Makes the Ride Worthwhile by MagEd
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: The seven women who loved Remus Lupin.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 6959 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/25/10 Updated: 05/25/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/26/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Lets' see. You say you have trouble writing Remus ... I disagree. You're unsure the OC's were successful ... I disagree. This fic is wonderful. I write a lot of Remus/Tonks and you nailed him totally. I loved the fact that he wasn't a novice at 'love', that he'd had relationships before Tonks. The seven females who loved him were such good choices. Ginny took me by surprise ... but it fitted totally. And he would help her, he was that kind of man.

My favourite section was Tonks with the peach butter (and no I've never tried it but will now). As I said, I write Tonks/Remus myself, so the fact that this capitavated me so much is a feat in itself because usually I'm uber critical. (not that I'm an expert, I just have my ideas firmly entrenched about the pair) I think my second favourite is Andromeda - you bringing in Teddy at the end made me want to weep.

I don't quite know what to say without sounding like a gushing fangirl ... uh ... I think I already am one. Just Brilliant! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that someone who's experienced in writing Remus/Tonks thinks I did him justice. I really was nervous (I stick pretty firmly in my writing to Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, and Lily/James). I'm glad you liked that he wasn't a novice at "love" and that you enjoyed the OCs and Ginny's part :) And I'm glad you liked the section with Tonks -- I spent ages on that one section, so I'm so happy to know you enjoyed it! Please feel free to sound as much like a gushing fangirl as you want ;)

 

Summary:

What was it like to be thirteen? Oh, yes...hiding from mad females and complaining about class assignments with your best mate. It may not be what every boy dreams of, but there are worse things.

But for Nick Barnaby, the every day doldrums would become a distant memory as one of those scenarios becomes very real.

This is the story of Nicholas Barnaby, a minor character of mine from The Vindication of James Potter. If you've read that story, I believe that you'd enjoy this one. It gives a little bit of insight as to why he is the way he is.



Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 4037 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/26/10 Updated: 05/26/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/27/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOH, very interesting and well written. I love this character you've built and the details from him being able to answer the door-knocker to his recitation of the Magic Act thing (sorry, too lazy to type it up), show a boy who was really suited to Ravenclaw. You've done a wonderful job with this prompt that shows his grief, despair and thirst for revenge. - Just masterly!. I have a bit of an issue with his conversation with Proudfoot because I think he comes across as a little bit too old for a thirteen year old ... however just as I've written that I've suddenly remembered that he's a 'Claw, fiercesomely intelligent, and some thirteen year olds do speak MUCH older than their age should suggest ... so ignore that (unless you'd like to explain ;-)) . I wasn't sure about Proudfoot calling Harry 'Harry' to Nick. I thought he'd be more likely to use Mr Potter or Auror Potter ... something like that, but I guess these are supposed to be more relaxed times.

I love Vector in this. She is just as I imagine - a child hating sadistic Maths teacher in witches robes (don't tell Ritta!). Also the background you build up for the family, with his dad being a keen Herbologist and working for Draco was a wonderful touch.

One last question. Why 'sugar mice'? I'm intrigued.

I think you've done a good job with the prompt do good luck with the comp, Jess. ~Carole~ (hoping this time the review doesn't get chopped in half.)

Author's Response:

Hello!

I explained the thing about Harry's name on AIM, but for reference, I'll just state that Harry doesn't want to give the impression to his Aurors that he is by any means superior or unapproachable. He wants to be a fair boss and a friend if they need one. Now, if only he'd behave more admirably with his family.

I decided to use Vector as the new Deputy, since she's hyper organised by nature and not a lot of students take her class, she would be ideal. She's the Ravenclaw HoH because Flitwick became the Headmaster. It just seemed the proper chain of events. And for Nick's family, I wanted them to be good people with normal lives, because those are always the ones who get hurt by maniacs. They don't kill crackheads and crooks - it's always the ones who don't deserve it.

And the sugar mice, again for reference, was the gift that Flitwick gave to Harry in OotP for pissing in Umbridge's proverbial cornflakes. I was hoping someone would notice that. 

Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like Nick now, because what he does later would make you want throttle him and crush his windpipe. It's all part of my ebil plot.

Luvs,

Jess

 

Seventh Year Slytherin by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Kenley Allen was about to begin her seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and she was more than ready. The summer holiday had seemed longer than usual with her mum traveling frequently and Kenley running out of things to do for amusement.


Things change, however, when she reluctantly accepts an invitation from her new step-father to join him in Diagon Alley for the day. Chance meetings and awkward conversations abound.


**beams** This story won the third round of the Character Clinic Triathalon! Category: original characters

>
**beams again** This story was nominated for 2010 Quicksilver Quill ~ Best Original Character


Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 5259 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/28/10 Updated: 05/29/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 05/29/10 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

WOW! This is fantastic. I have to say I don't think I've read a fic about an OC where I've cared as much about them. You built up such an interesting and complicated character and a great story too.

Then the strangest thing happened: a fuzzy lump lodged itself in the back of Kenley’s throat and tears began to scratch at the back of her eyes. I LOVE.THIS. LINE. I'm just in the middle of writing something where I talk about a lump in the throat, and it's so mundane now I reread it. Your words here are so touching and powerful.

I like your James in this story. Not embarrassed about being Harry's son, enjoying time with his uncle, yet willing to admit he can make a mistake. There's no grand romance, but you feel that maybe it could blossom into something.

I am wondering why she is in Slytherin, but I actually like the enigma surrounding her. She seems to be a loner, with few friends - the camera explains a lot because she's on the side of it that takes the pictures rather than being the one in the picture. (am I making any sense here?) .

I think this is an extrememly strong contender in the challenge (Yay to Hufflepuff) - so good luck. It would be a deserved winner. Well done ~Carole~

Author's Response: Isn't it awful to sit around trying to think of different ways to express that someone is trying not to cry? Man alive, the battle! I'm glad you think this line worked here, but I do struggle with that all the time... there are only so many ways to say it. I think my heart did a little flip when you said you cared about Kenley. She is complicated, and she has some negative traits (defensive, untrusting) that made me fear she would not be accessible or likable to readers. So that is just so good to hear. I'm glad James seemed all right. I want to be true to what we know from the epilogue, but he is not going to be his grandfather made over... that just seems very unlikely to me. "There's no grand romance, but you feel that maybe it could blossom into something." This makes me smile. Why she is in Slytherin. Yes, one person did tell me I needed to say more about this, and I know I risk a little with the challenge by holding back... but I think part of an interesting character is leaving some things to wonder about. What's interesting about knowing absolutely everything and this character is just an open book. She's not an open book. And I think I hinted here that the reasons she is in Slytherin are not exactly clear to her, even here in her seventh year. I sort of wish we could all sit down and discuss the next-gen Slytherin thing over coffee (or diet Coke, since i hate coffee). Assuming these students are not harboring DE agendas anymore, and that many of them would be a bit more enlightened in terms of maybe not holding to past prejudices... what would cause the hat to sort someone into Slytherin? Perhaps pureblood families, or children of those who had been in Slytherin... but there would be other kinds of Slytherins, too, I think. Not such a cut-and-dry sorting at this time, maybe? But yes, there is mystery around it, and I like it that way, too. Look how I'm going on. Thanks so much for the lovely review, Carole. I was very nervous about this, but now I'm feeling encouraged to keep on with this story--yay! (oh, and very perceptive about the camera)

 

Summer of '97 by Northumbrian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: On a fine day during the school summer holidays two Hogwarts students meet in a small market town in the north of England.
This is Northumbrian of Ravenclaw writing for the Madam Pomfrey One-Shot Triathlon - Round Three: Original Characters, Prompt 2 (summer holidays).

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6965 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/29/10 Updated: 06/02/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Summer of '97

Hello. Damn! I can't Brit pick and that's my favourite hobby! Neil, I really like your story. I think Fenella is a great character - a Slyth with a conscience and the friendship/relationship between her and Colin is beautifully drawn. I liked your minor characters as well. Zoe was sweet and Anita was nastily bitchy. I am a bit surprised that Zoe was a Slytherin, with her Muggle-born mother, I thoight she'd be elsewhere. I know Snape was a half-blood, but he always seemed to be the exception to me... However, I'm looking forward to reading more about Zoe as her mum would have been in so much trouble. I'm glad Fenella's dad saved her. Colin was amazing. There was a real depth to his character and I forgot when I was reading that he'd died, so your ending was very touching. The use of the camera club to bring them together is a great idea. I do like the idea that not all Slyths were fanatics.

I have a fe nit picks. Seeker needs to be capitalised. It should also be pure-blood not pureblood (at least that's according to the UK books).

Potter’s on the run and Bell is finished school, so Gryffindor will be fielding a younger and weaker team this year. You mean Bell has finished school, not is.

I did like your description of the area they were in. I've not been to Barnard Castle, but I lived in Cumbria for a few years and it brought to mind the Lake District to me. Beautiful scene setting.

Finally, I loved the Spice Girls reference. Sporty and Scary, eh? Ha ha - the clothes were spot on, and well worth the detail you put into it. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole Thanks for the review. I did wonder about Zoes house, but I wanted her to be part of the Slytherin girls attempts to break into the Quidditch team. I tried to make Anita mostly bitchy, but excitable and fanatical about Quidditch. Seeker oh no! Natalie will kill me (again)! I throw myself at your collective mercies and promise to print out the email saying CAPITALISATION and pin it onto my computer screen. Pure-blood is my fault, too. I will correct these (and the Bell issue, can I claim typo for that one?). Barney as the locals say, is in Teesdale, the east side of the Pennines and not far from Cumbria and the Lakes. It would be a typical Yorkshire dales market town if it werent for the fact that its not in Yorkshire. Fenella would, of course have been more comfortable had her cousin allowed her to dress like the tweed-jacketed ladies of a certain age she met on the bus. N

 

First Draft Thatcher by OkiBlossom
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 1]

Summary: Thatcher was alone. He enjoyed the thrill of the chase, but he veered into a dead end. He didn't want a helping hand. Someone reached out and gave him an unexpected gift. He had a choice.

This is Kuri of Ravenclaw writing for Round Three of Madam Promfrey's Character Clinic Challenge: Original Character. Prompt: Lost Love.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity

Word count: 3683 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/30/10 Updated: 05/31/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/01/10 Title: Chapter 1: Thatcher

Hello. I rather like this. Thatcher is a well-drawn character and some of your description about his skills, feelings and memories is excellent. I liked the story as well. It wasn't just a character study, but there was a plot behind the fic. So well done for that.

I must admit that I had to re-read several passages because I found some of it rather confusing. Namely the whole scene with Rodolphus and Rosier, because I couldn't understand how Mad-Eye couldn't hear what was going on between Thatcher and Rodolphus. Also it seemed that this mission was happening in an extraordinarily public place. Tower Bridge is a very busy place at all times of day and night - it's a big tourist attraction, so I'm kinda wondering why the odd Muggle policeman or three didn't turn up. The car flipping over confused me as well, because you didn't give us any warning that it was about to hit Thatcher until Mad-Eye disposed of it He struggled for an argument finally stopped the man as he headed out into the street. He cast an Impediment Jink on a car, causing it flip in the other direction. I'm not saying that you should have written something as basic as a car nearly ran over Thatcher, but perhaps a line somewhere as he's crossing the road about a car hooting, or something. Also it should be 'Jinx' and not 'Jink'. (Also I think you need a comma after finally as the sentence doesn't make sense) There were a number of other minor errors - typos I should think, like Aurors fingers is missing the possessive apostrophe and the passage where he finds his dead wife has the word 'slink' instead of silk (or is it slinky?) and a grey creature 'lat' instead of lay.

The scene at the end - the funeral - is very touching. He basically has nothing he values anymore, except perhaps himself, and I can see he's struggling to value even that. I like the way you included Mad-Eye's nose - or lack of it - ha ha. I think your portrayal of Mad-Eye is a particular highlight of the fic; he's very IC. I would have liked to see a bit more of Dumbledore's purple prose. He has a wonderful lyrical quality to his speech, which you hinted at, but didn't write. I think that's a shame because it would have provided a good contrast to the blunt Moody and taciturn Thatcher.

All in all, though, I thought this was a good story with a strong grasp of your character. Good luck for the challenge. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, Thank you for being so honest. I knew that I should have spent more time on this thing. It doesnt make sense. Revision. I will get to it. Maybe I should do it tonight. Yeah, the car scene definitely will be deleted. You know why I that? I plugged in whatever came to my fingers. I never wrote completely all the way through without scrutinizing all the way through. I should have. I havent written much recently, not that thats even a viable excuse. I need to read over my stuff. Its called proofreading. Do it. It saves lives. Thatchers actually been in my head forever and a day. Since last summer, at least, so thats all I can give to his being even the slightest fleshed out. Ive glad thats hes been revived. In fact, Ive written another draft of this, and I lke it better because it explains the holes. I wish that I could exchange it, but that would mean that I missed the deadline. Im an idiot; thats the closest I ever get to complimenting myself, especially with regards to these drafts. In true writing, as Ive learned, you go through drafts and drafts. Anyway, Im glad that you liked the funeral scene. I dont know why Im on this Catholic fix (Flannery OConnor?), but it just ... it wont go away. Its funny. I do need to work on that relationship. In my head, and in a composition book, I have this draft of Dumbledore, Mad-Eye and Thatch sitting in a pub. Ive probably bored you by now. See? I told you Ive been working on this forever. Its random. Its so random, especially when Aberforth walks in. Dumbledores hard to write. JKRs to be commended for that alone. There needs to be more there. Well, Ill clean this up and rework it. Thank you for your suggestions. You are good. Sorry it took so long to respond. Jen

 

Breaking Rules by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary:

Rules.

How easy it was to break them.

All it took was a smile, a few good conversations, and some daredevilry on your part to take risks and do the impossible.





A birthday present for my e-bestie Jess (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor), who always manages to make me laugh without even trying. Happy Birthday, love!



DISCLAIMER: Not J.K.Rowling. All characters belong to her.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1196 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/01/10 Updated: 06/02/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/02/10 Title: Chapter 1: For Her.

Awww, I do like it, Natalie. What a lovely present. And I won't even snarl at the girl you've put in his bed.

This is a beautiful piece you've written. Adorable fluff but with a few thorns and genuine wit mixed in with the romance.

Lovely ~Carole ~... *who thinks she should have let Jess have first right of reply, but couldn't resist coming on instead.*

Author's Response: Glad you liked my present...for Jess. Haha! Seriously, though, you liked a Rose/Scorpius, so that's a great compliment.



Thanks for the review!



~Natalie.

 

In Love and War by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: In the middle of a war, James Potter and Lily Evans have decided to get married. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, they pledge their love to one another, and even the Dark Lord himself cannot keep them from realizing their vows.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw and I am writing for the Great Hall Wedding Challenge - Big Wedding prompt.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Violence

Word count: 12499 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/02/10 Updated: 06/06/10


Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - The Groom

OOH! Gina, this is lovely. Wow! I never really appreciated how good you are at scene-setting, but those first few paragraphs in the woods are amazing. I really felt that I was there with them both (actually I rather hoped I was- ha ha). I love the circumstances that you've built up around them getting married, James' proposal and of course one of the times they defied Voldemort.

Good luck in the challenge. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment, Carole! Your comment made me think that I wouldn't mind hanging out with James and Sirius myself sometimes, lol! Thank you for coming to read this, I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/03/10 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two - The Bride

OOOO, lovely chapter. I'm really interested in the Lily/Petunia dynamic poarticularly when their relationship started to fall apart. I like Petunia in this. She won't attend the wedding (or will she turn up?) but she hands over the pearls. Lovely gesture. And her faint look of longing ... poor Tuney.

Can't wait to read the rest. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for another lovely review! Do you remember my asking about Petunia in the Character Clinic? Well, this was how I decided to play it. I'm glad it worked. You'll have to wait and see if she shows up. ;) Thanks for reading, hope you like the next chapter! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/06/10 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three - The Wedding

OH WOW! There I was marvelling - again- at your fabulous descriptive powers and the great touches you put in (the string quartet - (LOVELY). I was reading and smiling all the way as they got married - what a beautiful ceremony ... and then you pull off the most amazing fight scene. WOW WOW WOW! Just so exciting. I literally laughed out loud when Sirius said 'That bastard's crashed your wedding.' ha ha ha - master of the understatement is Mr Black. I also cheered when Bellatrix got jinxed heh heh.

Ack, I have a nit-pick ... When Lily steps into the circle, she says her name is Lily Anna Potter. It should be Evans, shouldn't it?

I thought you characterised everyone very well throughout this chapter, but what stood out for me the most was the excitement. Please finish this soon! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, thank you so much! I was really hoping readers would get to the battle and have some sort of reaction like that. I worked hard on it so I'm glad it worked so well. I appreciate the comments on the characters as well. And thank you for pointing out a very stupid mistake - OF COURSE it should be Lily Evans, not Lily Potter, and I fixed it before I even responded. *headdesk* Thank you for reading and for all your support around the boards and AIM! ~Gina :)

 
Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 06/07/10 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four - The Reception

Lovely ... For one awful moment I thought James was going to die before they got a chance to marry. Yes, I know that's silly, but I got very caught up with the story and was worriied about him

Ah, Sirius ... IC all the way through. Loyal and yet a sarky git as well ... heh heh.

Great story, Gina. ~Carole~

That smoky snake thing is scary!

Author's Response: Oh, could you imagine? How sad would that be?! I guess if you were caught up then I did my job, lol. I'm glad you liked Sirius, he's such a neat character to write. I sort of wish he had a bigger role. And yes, the smoke thing was scary - originally it was a lethifold but Samarie thought maybe that was stretching it a bit, so I thought about a similar spell in the car on the way to work. Now, if I can do that, what's to stop wizards from making up spells all the time?! ;) Thank you for reading this bloated wedding tale, I once again appreciate all your support through it all! ~Gina :)

 
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