Penname: Equinox Chick [Contact]
Real name: Carole
Member Since: 05/10/08
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
What can I say. I live in London and am obsessed with a teenage wizard and his friends. Am I mad? Probably Do I care? Hell no!
EDIT: Grown? Um, probably not

For my first foray into the realms of fanfiction I've chosen to write about the Marauders. I'll always stick fairly closely to canon as I think JK knows best. Although I've enjoyed reading about other ships I, personally, don't think I could write with conviction about Ginny/Crabbe or Hermione/Mclaggan relationships.

EDIT: ha ha ha ha ha - How I have changed! I'm now firmly in the rare-pair, SSP, and things that aren't quite conventional camp, although I still loves me some James/Lily.

My second chaptered fic (Apparently Asleep) has started a love affair with Tonks/Remus and confirmed my obsession for all things Sirius. *sigh*

I am indebted to Terri (mudbloodproud) for being a great beta and all round amazing person. If it hadn't been for her encouragement I would have thrown in the towel many months ago.

EDIT: I have made a lot of wonderful friends during my past three years on MNFF, including (in no particular order) Natalie, Kara, Hannah/Bob, Jess, Gina, Lea, Lori, Julia, Minna, Emmahhhh, and the fantabulous BB.

I hope Mugglenet and you enjoy reading my words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Huge thank-you to my niece, Amanda, for being one of the first to catch the Harry Potter bug and nagging me into reading them.

I’ve written a variety of stories, so here is them arranged in categories. Some are cross- referenced. So a James/Lily may appear in Marauder or Canon Romance

EDIT: I haven't written much Harry Potter fanfiction for a while. It is unlikely I'll update the two chaptered fics I first started as they became a little too long and unwieldy. Sorry about that.

A Second Chance
Contemplating Lilies
Dancing Queen
First Date Disaster
Flying, Fair Play and the Need for a Firm Hand
It Takes a Wolf to Prank a Dog
Learning to Fly
March Madness
O.W.L.s, Quidditch and the Added Distraction of Sirius Black
Peace in Heaven
Ribbons, not Strings
Sixth Time's the Charm
Thank you for your time, Professor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Lions of Gryffindor
The Sum of the Whole
Who's That Girl?
Wormtail on the Hogwarts Express

Canon Romance
'i'before 'e' (Percy/Audrey)
A Prize Above Rubies (Isla Black/Bob Hitchens)
Acorns (Bill/Fleur)
Apparently Asleep (Remus/Tonks)
Birthday Girl (George/Angelina)
Bound in the Beating of Each Other’s Hearts (Narcissa/Lucius)
Coup de Foudre (Bill/Fleur)
Dancing Queen (James/Lily)
First Date Disaster (James/Lily)
Five weeks (Remus/Tonks)
Forces of Nature (Ron/Hermione)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
In The Stars (Draco/Astoria)
Key of the Door (Ron/Hermione)
Kissing the Joy as it Flies (Seamus/Lavender)
March Madness (James/Lily)
Not Quite Perfect (Bill/Fleur)
Reconnaissance (Remus/Tonks)
Sixth Time’s the Charm (James/Lily)
Snowball Fights (Teddy/Victoire)
Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part (Draco/Astoria)
Veils (James/Lily)
You Dance Divinely (George/Angelina)

Non (or rather tweaked) Canon (apart from one story, these don’t break any canon.)

Better than Chocolate (Charlie/Tonks)
Heat of Life (Harry/Katie)
Her Tomorrows (Harry/Parvati)
High (Scorpius/Lily)
Lavender, blue- A Gryffindor True (Lavender/Blaise)
Love At First Strike (Angelina/Terry)
Mirrors (Charlie/Penelope)
Misperception (Oliver/Cedric/Daphne)
Orphans of the Storm (Seamus/Parvati/Dean)
Passion Among the Primroses (Arthur/Mafalda)
Predictions of Love (Gilderoy/Sybil)
Ribbons, not Strings (Remus/Rosmerta)
Shrouds (Hermione/Draco)
Snapdragons (Charlie/OC)
Stars or Carousels (James/Dominique)
Summer’s Heat (Sirius/OC)
Swans (Mollyjnr/OC)
Teenage Witch (Charity/Myron Wagtail )
The Happy Couple (Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Lavender)
The Only One (Lavender/Blaise Teddy/Victoire)
The Untrodden Path (Draco/Hannah)
Where We Started From (Dean/Ginny)

Same sex Pairings
Apple-bobbing ( Lisa/Susan)
Close Your Eyes (Hermione/Lavender)
Drowning, not Waving (Oliver/Cedric)
Eyes That Know Me (Scorpius/Hugo)
Forbidden Colours (Tracey/Demelza)
Fracture (Theo/Justin)
Monochrome (Sirius/Remus)
The Dance We Do (Bellatrix/Amelia)
The Hat that Thinks it’s a Chair (Justin/Theo)
Truth Or Dare (Cormac/Zacharias)

Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets
Passion Among the Primroses
Predictions of Love
The Bacchus Book
Vampire - Ghost Child!

A Prize Above Rubies
Aberforth Dumbledore: A Love that Dare not Bleat its Name
An Outstretched Hand
Shadows Deep

Others (General, D/A, Post Hogwarts, Next Gen)
A Tangled Web (D/A)
All in the Genes (NG)
Chasing the Scoop! (Post Hogwarts)
Christmas on the Outside (General/Trio era)
Dean Thomas and the Reiver Curse (Post Hogwarts)
Diavol (Remus Trio Era)
Every Breath You Take (Post Hogwarts/Next Gen)
Forever Dancing (Alice/Frank)
Friends in Unlikely Places (Post Hog. Hermione)
Growing Old Disgracefully (Post Hog)
High (NG)
Lavender, blue (Trio Era)
Mere Wisps of Light (Post Hog. Draco fic)
Muggles, Magic and Misconceptions (Next Gen)
My Funny Valentine (Post Hogwarts)
Staring into the Fire (Trio Era)
The Waiting Game (D/A)
Whispers from the Past (Next Gen)

The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too
Who’s that Girl?
Xanthe Interrupted

As They Watch
Beyond Beseeching
Celestina's Songbook: Christmas Edition, Volume 1
Cold Dreams
Draco's Journey
Fairytale of Hogwarts
Flying High
Forever France
Frozen Silence
Hey, brother
I Believed in Lily Evans
Master Barty Regrets
Phoenix Flames
Queen of My Heart
Sirius, Baby
The Daydream Pedlar's Song
The Four
The Labyrinth Mind

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Reviews by Equinox Chick

A Marriage Made at Hogwarts by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Draco Malfoy and Ronald Weasley loathed each other at Hogwarts, and little has changed over the years. No one in their right wand would have ever expected them to become in-laws. But Hogwarts is a funny place where many things become possible. And now, everyone has to accept it – Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley are getting married today…

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6540 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
08/24/09 Updated: 10/14/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Father of the Groom

Can't possibly read this. It's the wrong ship.

This is however a review/- Sporkable, it's true/ but a review is a review/ and that's seventeen I've done for you.

Collapses in a heap.

Croll exiting the author page.

Author's Response: Hahaha! Well, I made sure this was my last response as well. My fingers are crying in pain. D: Thanks for everything!<3333333333333


Not Like This by Russia Snow
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Someone has been murdered. The blame is being spread across the MLE squad and the prime suspect is one of their most prized officers. But who was really the culprit?

This is Russia Snow of Gryffindor submitting for “Breakfast at Stefania’s” Bookbasilisk Summer challenge.

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 3278 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
08/24/09 Updated: 08/26/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/23/09 Title: Chapter 1: Breakfast at Stefania's

Hello, Thought it was about time I dropped you a review. This is a good mystery story, although I did get a bit confused at first because I was expecting the George to be George Weasley and I couldn't work out why he was a detective. I really should read carefully - ha ha. I liked the plot of this, although I had an inkling that Winston had done it (his surname and the shop did it for me) I couldn't work out how he'd done it - the champagne *slaps head* of course!

Okay, nit pick time. There were a few missing comma's especially after words like 'well' and before 'sir'. Also 'sir' shouldn't be capitalised. I think it is in America, but here it isn't (I had to double check this in HBP where Harry says 'You don't have to call me sir, sir." - ahh, favourite line.)

I loved the beginning of this story. The opening paragraph was wonderfully descriptive and the poor old lady's despair was well written. And the end was great. I loved that Winston just ran.

Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: CAROLE! Finally, SOMEONE got the shop name! That was my amazing sly detail of giving it away, you are SO clever! But it is always the Champagne, rookie mistake ;-) Russia using Americanisms? *gasp of eternal horror* /fail I will go and change those >.< Thankyou for pointing those out Caroleeee, I am glad you enjoyed the fic. *hugs* (and well done again on the shop name!) Russia xxxxx


Beyond Dragons by mudbloodproud
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Charlie Weasley is the one Weasley child who never married. His dragons were all he needed in his life. Or so he thought.

When Charlie visits his brother, Bill, to attend his anniversary party, he meets a Veela cousin. Suddenly, Charlie found himself fascinated by something other than his dragons. Could Antoinette by the woman to make Charlie see there is more to life than dragons?

Antoinette DuPree lost both her parents just a year ago. She found herself living with her aunt and uncle and slowly becoming more and more withdrawn. She went from being a pampered princess to feeling like a burden. She only agreed to go to England because she was thinking of moving there to get away from everything, to be alone.

This is the story of what happens when a man only concerned with dragons, meets a woman who opens his eyes to love.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 6701 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
08/30/09 Updated: 10/04/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 2: The Morning After

OOOOHHHH! Lovely chapter, Terri. Charlie is just so wonderful. He gets so embarrassed and it's really heartwarming.

I particularly enjoyed Bill's account of the date with Fleur - although he was a bit ungentlemanly leaving her in the pub like that. No wonder she was mad.

Andi is fleshing out nicely ... and she takes the initiative with that kiss. And what a kiss! Wonderful. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 08/31/09 Title: Chapter 1: The First Meeting

OHHHH! FABULOUS! Terri, I adore this story. Charlie deserves a good time after the kicking he gets in Apparently Asleeep (thanks for the nod by the way - ha ha). I love Antoinette too - she seems so sad and lonely. I hope she likes dragons though, because I can't see Charlie being able to live without them for long.

Favourite line that made me literally LOL was Smooth, Charlie, he thought. First, you knock her down then you touch her in some very inappropriate spots. Yes, smooth as glass.

A lovely fluffy first chapter that has everyone IC and gives us a heartwarming glimpse into Bill and Fleur too. Ohhh, I can't wait to see if Ron is really over his Veela attraction (heh heh). Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I'm glad you like this so far. I couldn't not reference AA, and "Carole's" canon. For those who haven't read Apparently Asleep by Equinox Chick, I strongly recommend it. I'm not sure yet what Antoinette likes, but we will see.

That line was originally going to end smooth as silk, but I wasn't sure a wizard who is not only a Weasley but lives with dragons would know about silk. So, it became glass. I'm glad you liked it.

Thanks for the help with names and the encouragement to even write fluffy. Terri


Summary: Even death can't keep the Dark Lord busy for long! A few weeks after his death, Voldemort returns to earth and finds his magic lost.

Forced to live as a Muggle, Voldemort teams up with an unlikely friend in an attempt to get a flat, keep a steady job and regain his old glory.

Please note: This story contains ridiculous plot twists, kooky pop culture references, extremely out-of-character behavior, alternate universes galore and a great deal of random silliness. You have been warned!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 4637 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
09/01/09 Updated: 10/07/10

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/09/09 Title: Chapter 1: Voldemort Comes Back To Life

HA! I don't read a lot of humour - but this tickled me. Good concept and I liked Death appearing at the end. One thing, it would have been clearer if you'd put stars or something between the end of Voldemort's story and Deaths sudden appearence. I was a bit confused at the change in POV's.

Ha ha to John Lennon as an Inferi. Could he resurrect Marc Bolan and Phil Lynott as well?

Funny. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I'm very glad you enjoyed the story, Carole. Originally, I made Death's segment all in bold, but the fiction was rejected as a result and I decided to just let it be. Maybe I should add stars or something, though.


Summary: On May 2nd, 1998, Harry Potter walked calmly into the face of death to save those he loved, bringing with him only his wand, and four people brought back with an extraordinary stone. Unbeknown to him, they had also come on a journey to be with him that night.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 14547 Chapters: 10 Completed: Yes
09/03/09 Updated: 03/07/11

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/10/09 Title: Chapter 2: Beneath the Rubble

Oh My Word! I love this story. This is a very original idea. I love the fact that James and Lily are 'waking up' in their old house. You eye for detail is superb - the ivy trailing over the house, the rotting toy broomstick. Very atmospheric.

I adored the first chapter. Your James and Lily are very natural with Harry, and it doesn't come over at all forced the way they speak to him, play with him etc. Too often authors don't quite get the baby/parent interraction correct but you pulled that off very well.

I've just seen the next chapter's about Sirius, I so I must go and read his story.

Sorry, not ultra constructive, but it's a lovely story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole, I'm glad it came off all right. I was slightly worried about their interactions with Harry; I have no idea how a one year old behaves, so I'm glad it's realistic. Thanks for reviewing.

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/10/09 Title: Chapter 4: Desperate, Deciding

OOh, heartrending. This is very sad, especially when Lily says she can't face losing James too.

Hmm, I have a small quibble - or query really. This is reading as if they've been dead for several years and are only waking now that Harry needs them (same with Sirius, I presume), so are you thinking it was another form of them that came out of Voldemort's wand in GOF? Are they going to remember that? Damn! I need to know now, but I'll have to wait for the updates.

*rushes off to your duelling thread*

Very good story.


Author's Response: I really want to tell you, but I want the reader to be in the same sort of situation as the characters who have no idea until the end what it going on. Oh what the hell, I doubt it'll ruin the story. Yes, they do remember in the end, when they realise what is happening. Thanks for the review *goes to check drabble thread*


The End by Karaley Dargen
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: Past Featured StoryRemus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks both died alone; their friends would never know the story of their last breaths.

Here is, at least, the tale of the death of one of them. Tonks is looking everywhere for her husband, but in the end she will have to face the terrible truth and her own fate...

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 1279 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
09/03/09 Updated: 09/06/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Dying Thoughts

Okay, I got the hint! Kara, my love, this is wonderful. Obviously, you know I'm a huge Remus/Tonks fan so tend to be picky at other people's interpretations ... but I can't pick at anything here, because I loved it all.

Tonks was so caring, so frightened for Remus - and her inability to think about anything but him whilst others were hurt was just SPOT ON!

Bellatrix was just plain evil, and the fact that she wanted to torture her niece was very IC.

I loved the end, She died thinking of happier times and Bellatrix could not take that away from her (Plus she'll be with Remus very soon).

Well done. ~Carole~

Author's Response: CAROLE! Uuuh.. what hint... *looks around innocently*

Hah, you have no idea how nervous I was about your review, because I know that you are, like, the Remus/Tonks god-authority here, and because I fangirl your writing so much...

So yeah, now I'm really cheery-happy that you actually liked it! Thank you very very much for your review (especially the bit about my characterisation of Tonks)

<3 Kara


Scenes from Shell Cottage by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 128]

Summary: This fic is a series of missing moments from the time H/R&H were at Shell Cottage, beginning immediately after they Disapparated from Malfoy Manor. JKR shows us what was going on with Harry, but this is my version of what could have happened with Ron and Hermione after one of the most emotional/disturbing events in the entire series.

UPDATED June 2010 When I first wrote this fic, I didn't know what a beta reader was, and frankly, it showed. Thanks so much to Natalie for helping me polish this up and make it more readable. Thanks also to both Julia and Carole, whose helpful comments in the review section allowed me to make some much-needed corrections during the rewrite. I would love to know what you think ~ reviews are very much appreciated!

This was nominated in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards for Best Canon Romance.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 17189 Chapters: 7 Completed: Yes
09/03/09 Updated: 11/23/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOOH, Lori. Now, someone should explain to me why I haven't read this before. I kept meaning to, but hadn't. Anyway, I'm here now. What can I say? The writing is effortless, yet very powerful. I love the attention to detail (he hair smelling of blood and shampoo - excellent) and you can really see why this couple are meant to be a pair. JKR was right (but we know that, don't we?)

Author's Response: Yay, Carole, what a nice surprise to find you here! We definitely do know about R/Hr... my OTP for sure! Thanks!

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 04/03/10 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Me again. Oh, what an intense chapter. Poor Ron, the feelings he must have been experiencing when Hermione was going through all of that. Wow! I just think you portrayed that superbly. You have a good gift for description and atmosphere, Lori. It's something I'm not good at, so I notice it in others work.

The other thing I wanted to compliment you on was the scene with Bill and Hermione, because I thought that was wonderfully judged. Bill's realisation that Ron isn't a baby, and Hermione trying to reassure Bill that Ron tried his best. It brought a lump to my throat.

Umm, I have a nit pick, and I feel really miserly for saying this because it's such a great story, but I'm not sure Ron would have been able to talk properly if his jaw had been broken. *slinks away as does feel mean for mentioneing it*

Lovely chapter ~Carole~

Author's Response: I love bringing lumps to peoples' throats. ;) Thanks for saying that, Carole. I had not originally intended to include any of that with Bill at all, but it sort of happened, and then he just wouldn't go away... hence, the conversation with Fleur and Hermione as well. Oh my goodness! How do I have 60-some reviews and no one has even caught that before now? I laughed out loud when I read it! You are totally right, and I'm thinking hard what to do. I'm not sure if you read any more, but if you do, you will soon see that I need that broken jaw very badly for about three more chapters... haha! Maybe I could down-play it a bit with his reaction to Bill and it could just be that his face is somehow injured from the blows he took at capture? Hmm... I will definitely give this some thought, and I know I will eventually make some edits to correct (or at least, smooth over) this faux pas. Thanks so much for pointing it out. Until I make some corrections, you will have to suspend your disbelief, as my Ron will continue to be quite verbose for the rest of this story. :) (What pain he must be in!) Ha! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Carole! I was really tickled to see you here.


Take Me Far Away by Karaley Dargen
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary: In his school years, Remus Lupin became known as a "bookworm": Where he went, he usually went with something to read. But those weren't textbooks, as many of his fellow students originally thought –they were books of great adventures, of other worlds, that drew him in and let him forget about his worries.

But how did this boy grow to love, even to need books so much? When Remus Lupin was a child, there was little he could do; his overprotective father never let him go outside on his own, and least of all was he allowed to play with other children. But he had other friends –he had his books, to take him far away, to different places.

Until one day, a stranger arrives at the Lupins' doorstep, and he might not need his books to find a different world anymore after all.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2878 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
09/04/09 Updated: 10/11/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/11/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Awww, that's lovely. I really enjoy the way Remus is submersed into story books and not boring old text-books. You've nicely subverted that cliche, and you've given him a new side to his character. - very inventive.

I have to confess, for one awful moment, I thought his dad was going to give him a bar of chocolate -- but then I thought 'This is Kara, she won't write that' - hee hee.

I'm pleased he got to wave goodbye to his dad at the end. You could feel his very palpable relief when he saw his father wink. He may be excited, but he's still a bit scared too. Can't wait for him to meet those two bad boys.

Great story ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ooh thank you so much for leaving a review! You know, I didn't even think that he could give him a chocolate bar haha that would have been a good clich though. Remus' father always gave him chocolate when Remus felt bad, so that's how Remus became addicted to it... hmmmm! Haha, no, don't worry.

Ah yes, I can't wait either. Right now, poor little Remus is all alone but at a place like Hogwarts, I doubt that can last for long..


I Will Survive by KarasAunty
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: CoS era: Ron meets Aragog and his charming family when Harry drags him along for a visit - and he is afraid. Very afraid... A hopefully humorous songfic from Ron's PoV, inspired by the Gloria Gaynor song of the same name.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 361 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
09/07/09 Updated: 09/15/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/16/09 Title: Chapter 1: I Will Survive

ha ha ha ha. Of course it helps that this really is my favourite song at Kareoke nights, but this is just very funny.
Nicely put together - poor Ron.

Author's Response:

Hello Equinox Chick,

It is a great Karaoke song, isn't it? That's one of the reasons I used it instead of a different one. Poor Ron and his fear of spiders! He's such a great character!

Thanks for R & R-ing. I'm thrilled you had a good giggle over it!


Kara's Aunty :)


Killing Meda's Daughter by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: To prove her loyalty to the her master's cause, Bellatrix Lestrange will go to any length. And killing Meda's daughter? That was now a personal challenge...

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 2852 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
09/13/09 Updated: 09/15/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/26/09 Title: Chapter 1: Killing Meda's Daughter

AGHHHH! Quite brilliant ... and so scary. Oh Godric, I really wanted Tonks to escape. All the way through I was hoping she wouldn't die. (I'm so sad). What I particularly love is how Bellatrix both depersonalises (by calling Tonks 'the girl') and then personalises the death (Meda's daughter). It is a very clear indication of the turmoil she had going on in her head. She had to be the Dark Lord's best warrior, she HAD to kill her neice. Very good characterisation.

The other part I really loved was her anger at finding the photo Narcissa had kept. The jealousy there was amazing. And I'm rather hoping that you'll do a follow up about a possible reconciliation between Meda and Cissy.

Your duelling scenes were great. I find that sort of thing difficult to write, but you really gave a tension to the Ministry duel and then the Seven Potters chase. Excellent!

Great story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: I wanted Tonks to escape too. :( I have this strong belief Bellatrix was very much a conflicted individual. She did not want to be associated with Tonks. Yet she could not escape the relationship because Voldemort would never let her forget. As for Meda and Cissy, a reconciliation will happen in my chaptered fic. The duelling scenes...ah...they were tricky. I was so scared they would come out all wrong, but they turned out fine in the end. Hee hee!

Thanks for coming by and reviewing.



Potterwatch by LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: We find out what goes through Harry, Ron and Hermione's minds as they listen to a Potterwatch, but what goes through the minds of other listeners, the casters, and what news do they bring?

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3387 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
09/17/09 Updated: 02/20/11

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 02/21/10 Title: Chapter 1: Welcome to Potterwatch!

Hello, Andi. Well, as you always review my stories and chapters, I thought I should return the favour. Have to say, I really like the idea for this fic, and I do hope you continue with it. I'd love a chapter featuring a listener. Lee and Kingsley come through very nicely and despite the fact that there are no dialogue tags, I managed to follow the different voices very well.

I have a few nitpicks (sorry)

We anguish this calamity Hmm, I'm not sure you can 'anguish' something. I get what you're saying, but I think anguish is a noun, and using it as a verb just strikes me as a bit odd.

We advise you from saying it. I think this would read better as 'We advise you not to say it. It's a clearer instruction, then.

Other kinds of magical creatures such as centaurs or the werewolves, who are not supporting the winner of the Big Bully Award, are also having great difficulties with ‘the New World’. Right, because of the phrasing it sounds as if all the werewolves and centaurs are against Voldemort. We know that the majority of werewolves are on Voldy's side. I think you should change it to 'some werewolves' or 'those werewolves.'

However, they're minor points, and didn't detract from the story or the flow. Update - Please! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and the nitpicks! - how I love them. :P I'll change them right now. Hm. I guess I should work on the next chapter some more... it'll be up soon. I hope. Thanks again!


The Elder Tree by the opaleye
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Past Featured StoryIt would have been no surprise to see Vernon Dursley sitting on the frosty concrete of the empty playground one winter evening. It was not a cold winter that year. In fact, the snow had not yet fallen and Christmas was two days away.

Vernon returns to his childhood haunt after his first term at Smeltings only to encounter a strange old woman. Who is she? And what on earth is a Muggle?


This is the opaleye of Slytherin writing for The Untold Story Challenge in the Great Hall on the Beta Forums .

Nominated in the 2010 QSQ Awards for Best General Story.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2615 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
09/23/09 Updated: 09/25/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/27/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Elder Tree

OOOOH WOW! Sorry, I can only gush over this story. I'll never make it into SPEW!

First off:- what a brilliant idea - a great take on the prompt - and you really have done the unthinkable which is to give Vernon a reason for his hatred.

Second :- you really drew me in to the tale. I'm not a huge description fan, I'm a lazy reader that way (and writer), but this was riveting. The tree branches like old grey chocolate - quite superb. I really felt as if I were there with Vernon. (Ewww, what a thought!)

Third:- his encounter with the witch and the fact that she was actually rather horrible to him and so scathing. It's no wonder he hates that world.

There was only one thing I'd have liked to see and that was a mention of his sister Marge when he's thinking back to Christmas and his parents - but that was very minor.

This was fantastic though. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh My! Carole read my story! And she liked it! Wow, thanks so much for reviewing! I'm such a fan of your fics! Okay, enough of the exclamation marks. I'm pleased you like my description. Sometimes I can get carried away with myself and write pages and pages of description so I'm glad it didn't bore you. And yes, being there with Vernon (especially after he's covered in boils) is a yucky thought indeed. Marge! I totally forgot about her. Embarrassing much? Next time I write a Dursley fic (I'm strangely addicted to writing about those horrible people) I'll be sure to include her. Oh, she will be such a delicious character to work with... But thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Your own challenge entry is absolutely superb by the way and thanks for such a fun duel. I loved coming up with those questions hehe :)


Missing Moments in Time by mudbloodproud
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: In the world of Harry Potter, there is a love story that has not been told. That is the love story of Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin. In this series of one-shots, you will explore a few of the many special moments in their lives together. Each of these Missing Moments is a glimpse into turning points in their life together.

I do not own anything you recognise in these one-shots. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am just thankful to be able to play in her world for a little while.

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity

Word count: 1763 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
09/27/09 Updated: 09/27/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 09/27/09 Title: Chapter 1: The First Meeting

"Well, there's not enough of me in this story - obviously. And why did you get that clumsy cousin of mune to drop Butterbeer in my lap -- not wuite the look for the stylish wizard about town."

"Sirius, Leave Terri's story alone. She's written very nicely about my first meeting with Remus. Hmmm, why did you have to introduce me as Nymphadora, I just know he's going to use that whenever he's cross with me now."

"Cross with you, Dora. Never."

Ahh, Terri. Lovely story. I like a bit of Sirius when he's not gloomy. He wasn't thoroughly miserable the whole time (we see that at Christmas with Harry) and Tonks can cheer anyone up. I do like that you've referenced his 'black' side by showing hsi temper and also how annoyed he is not being able to be Snuffles again. Great moment, and believable - your characteristion is wonderful, as usual. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole,

Thank you so much for your review. Sirius, shhh, let me thank Carole first, after all, she did do the typing... Anyway, dear, you always make me smile. I'm glad you think I captured their meeting right, that means a lot to me coming from you. As for the "other" commentators...

Sirius, you have plenty of stories just about you, let Remus have one.

Tonks, sorry dear, but that was Sirius' doing introducing you that way.

Carole, thanks again hon. Keep a watch out for more of this story. Terri


On No One's Side by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Not all Slytherins were planning to join forces with the Dark Lord. Daphne Greengrass was one of them, and so she tells her sister.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Substance Abuse

Word count: 2020 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/11/09 Updated: 10/20/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/29/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

OOOH, I'm glad I found this story, Natalie because I thought it was wonderful. I do like the Daphne you've given us, here. Still Slytherin enough to be coldly calculating, but not totally evil. The twist at the end with Draco wanting to talk to Myrtle was fantastic. I did not see that coming.

I have two nit-picks. The first is more of a Brit-pick. Astoria would not refer to Orla as being a 'junior' at the school. That's an American term for younger pupils. We don't really have an equivalent term, so I'd just refer to her as a fourth year, or something.

My other nit-pick concerns Blaise and Daphne. Whilst I'm pleased he's a good Slytherin too, you do know that he belongs to Lavender, don't you. *frowns*. Although... this could be before they get together. *ponders*

You have some very good details in here that could be canon. The Slytherins' letters being the only ones unopened, for instance. And Crabbe inflicting the Cruciatus curse on a first year - for fun. Since writing my own seventh year at Hogwarts fic, I have become interested in this genre. You should write more about these sisters. They are really intriguing. Well done, Natalie. ~Carole~

Author's Response: EEP! I was supposed to edit that part about junior. Spires had already pointed it out to me. *headdesk*

Ahem! About Blaise and Lavender, yes, this was way before they got together. :D Although I get a huge kick out of Daphne kissing Blaise just because hes attractive, and Blaise being that kind of a buddy for her, I dont see them as getting together. My version of Daphne is like that no ties with a guy, thank you very much. ; )

And, yes, I dont think Blaise was stupid enough to join the Death Eaters. Ive never imagined him as such. *shrugs* Its funny how often people forget that self-preservation is a dominant Slytherin trait.

Thank you for your review, Carole. I must say that it came as a complete surprise.


The Silver Doe by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Severus casts his Patronus and remembers the one woman he ever loved...

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 108 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/13/09 Updated: 10/23/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 11/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Silver Doe

This is a lovely poem, Natalie. The sense of loss from Snape is heartfelt, but it ends on a note of hope because the love he felt for Lily (and still feels) is what warms him and sets him apart from the other DE's.

Critiquing the poem as a piece is always harder, I think, than critiquing prose because the style is that much more individual. However, here goes... I enjoyed the start of the poem, yet wasn't quite sure of the flow. The second line seems a bit too syllable heavy, but I guess on re-reading that's fixed by me stressing 'am' rather than always. *forgive this stream of consciousness review* I love the second verse especially the 'old like ages' line. It really evokes the lonliness of the man. The third verse is a bit discordant, to be honest. It seems to overstate exactly what happened between them. I'm not totally sure how I'd have written it, and actually it matters very little because the fourth verse is just wonderful. 'niche in my mind' 'void in my heart' I get the very real sense that Snape tries not to dwell daily on Lily but it must have been very hard for him not to - especially when Harry was at Hogwarts. Finally in that last verse, you've left another slightly discordant note - but this one I really like. With the addition of the question mark after 'always' - you seem to be suggesting that he does occasionally doubt his love for Lily. This is quite brilliant, because there must have been times when his feelings receeded - otherwise he would never have been able to conduct a normal life. However, as soon as he needs to cast a Patronus, Lily is there before him.

Brilliant! You should write more poetry, Natalie, and get yourself a thread in Poetry anyone. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Aaack! I am replying after months, but I decided to do it now. :D

To tell you the not-so-pretty truth, I suck at poetry. :( And that must be why the third verse was discordant. hee hee. I mean, I have no sense of rhyme or metric or all those things, and I don't even read out my poems aloud. So...that was it. The rare moments when I do write poems, I do them in free verse.

But thanks for the lovely review and the encouragements. :D



Becoming Rita by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Past Featured StoryRita Skeeter is an infamous journalist whose "savage quill has punctured many inflated reputations." But was she always like the annoying pest who Harry knows? What about her story? How did she become the Rita Skeeter we all love to hate?

This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff House writing for the Untold Story Challenge. It won the challenge, and has been nominated recently for a QSQ in Best General category. :D

Thanks to Fresca (Colores) for betaing! You really helped me give the story a coherent whole. And to Carole (Equinox Chick) too, for the “revenge against the ex” tip. :D

DISCLAIMER: All characters and premises belong to J.K.Rowling. However, the Corner brothers, Simon Rosier and the Thorntons are mine. ;)

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 9987 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/13/09 Updated: 10/17/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Becoming Rita

OH! OH! OH! Natalie, this is quite brilliant. I love the background to Rita (Ritalina). The way you've written this, it all makes sense. From her childhood as a poor girl obsessed with beetles, to that eleven year old stuck on the carriage door (I wanted to hex those girls so badly) and her metamorphosis as the hard-nosed unscrupulous journalist. I've picked one line (amongst many) that really stood out for me Her own metamorphosis into a woman she donned rather than was? Brilliant.

The one thing I would have liked to see is her becoming an Animagus - I'm guessing that you'd written that and had to cut it. You know something, I didn't notice that this was a long story because it flowed so well and was really well plotted.

Great job! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Wow, Carole! That's exactly the kind of energetic review which leaves me glowing. : D

As for the Animagus episode, sadly, it never even made it to the original draft. I thought about adding it, but it didnlt have much to contribute to the storyline I had in mind, so I left it out. But THANKS for the lovely review. I;m glad you liked it.


Jack O'Lantern James by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A Halloween prank turns against James and Sirius - not once, but twice.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1237 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/15/09 Updated: 10/15/09

Reviewer: Equinox Chick Signed
Date: 10/16/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ahh, that was fun. You certainly have a talent for pranks, Gina. I remember your April Fool's Challenge entry.

I did like your characterisation of Sirius and James. Both convinced they were hilarious, but Sirius being big enough to accept the joke was glorious. The best, I think, was Snape because you resisted the urge to make him 'snivel' at them. He got revenge in a wonderful way and proved he was better at magic than them.

I liked Lily's appearance and her unique carving on James' bum. It was great to see her as a real person and not a humourless bat in a rage at James all the time. After all, James wouldn't have fancied siomeone with no sense of humour. I think I was smiling throughout the story. Lots of fun ... ~Carole~

Author's Response: A talent for pranks? Well, maybe for writing them since I can't say I pulled very many myself, lol. Thanks, though! And thank you for reading this, I'm glad it made you smile. And I really appreciate your positive comments because I know you are a Marauder fan. Thanks again! ~Gina :)

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