My old proflie was annoying me, so I made a new one.
Let's see...I'm 14, I live in the U.S., and I play the flute. I love to write, and I beta read, but I'm not going to volunteer myself for it until I pass the PI test (I missed it by one point!). I'm also a member of SPEW on the forums, who does lots of constructive reviews for random people.
This is really well written! All the descriptions of the house and characters is really detailed. I specially like the names; Maeve, the butler Liam, and Malachy. It's all very creative. My favorite name is Maeve, and I suppose it was yours too, hince the name Magical Maeve. Also, the other characters - Dumbledore and Snape - were well in character, and that can be hard for Snape when he's being respectful. Really good jobon grammar to. I can't wait to read more of this!
Author's Response: I can't share the full credit for the grammar, I must let Ashwinder share some of the glory for that, she has helped me a great deal! I'm glad you like my Irish names. they are all real people I've known and scarily they share the same characteristics..except for Maeve who is an invention...or rather an amalgamation, of people I have known and admired. Thank you for the review and keep reading!
I wasn't planning on reviewing, BUT, I read this and though it was too good not to review. Plus I felt guilty if I didn't. This is Really, good, and could go far. Can't wait for another update!
Ah, common! EVERY writer thinks what they just wrote is crap when they go back and read it! I thought mine was awfal, but I kept mine up and now its got 95 reviews! *sigh* If you really don't want to keep writting this, than I ask ONE thing: Go to the MGFF forums, there you can drop off this story, and someone else will read it and finish it. Thats only a suggestion, but if you don't want to finish it, someone else would love to I'm sure! You've got a great plot going here, so don't just kill it!
I would like to say that this story has great potential. Keep up the good work so i can re
This was a wonderful one-shot. The way it's written, I can almost relate to Ginny, even though I'm not in her possition, the way she reacts to other people reminds me of something I would do. I like how the reader can tell exactly where in OotP this is taking place, and how Ginny reacts to Harry's actions. The one-line paragraphs are really good, because they help to state something strongly, and I'm always sure to pay close attention to them. It's one of the things I admire about your writing style. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. One thing I try very hard to do is make the characters as realistic as possible. If you could relate to Ginny here it means I've succeeded. Good to know!
YAY!!! Raven's on mugglent (dances) I've most of your stories on the other site and must say your doing well on this one.
This could really turn out to be a good story. I like it so far and can't wait for more.
By the way: you might want to leave an extra space between your oaraghaphs to make them easyer to read. I do that because of the same reason, adn to make them seem longer. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks Rita, I am trying to update it so its spaced, but it wont let me. I am also trying to update, agian they wont let me. So check back soon
Wow, you've got some thick reviews there! This ha turned out to be one of my favorite fanfictions. (Mainly cause I finished it in one night, and THAT's a record!) Its mainly cause of how well you made each character (mainly Lupin cos I've tried and he's hard!) Though you have to admit he and the rest of the Maradurs kinda grow on you when writtting. Well, I'm gonna turn in, but I plan to read your next fic in the morning. Keep up the good writting!
Author's Response: oh MAN!!!! "veiled revelations" in its entirety in ONE NIGHT!! kudos my friend, kudos!!!!! and i know about lupin - he is TOUGH. there's so much to him. very complex character, but he's my favorite to write. we had a lot of bonding when i was trying to figure out how to write him, and now he (luckily_ comes quite easily. thanks for reviewing and reading this next fic!! yay!!!!!
Yes, the begining does spark intrest, but you will loose it if you don't update often. This is a really good story and I can't wait for more. This has nothing to do with you writting, but you may find it useful to place spaces between your paragraphs. It makes it easier to read. Keep it up!
Firstly, I would like to say that this story has great potential. I've seen this story around for a while and have wondered why it hasn't gotten any reviews yet. All I can conclued is that you just need someone to break the ice of no reviews, and this story can do really well. Keep up the great work!
I love this so far! It was long to get all the was to chapter 69, but it was very enjoyable! You've got alot of really creative ideas that you weave into the plot, and I think thats what makes it so good. It's looking really good; keep the chapters coming - I really want to see what happens!
Wow, this was wonderful. The ending was really strong. Hope you're planing a sequel!
This is good because it is original and well written. I was quite afraid that you would bring Sirius back and then leave that loose end hanging, but you didn't! You kept going, and that's what makes this good!
Author's Response: I always couldn't stand it when writers would abandon stories so I'm determined not to become one! i hope you keep reading as I keep writing!
Well, I was exploring the forums and when this was posted in my topic, I could hardly deny it. I'm a member of S.P.E.W. so I have to give really long reviews of constructive critizm. Firstly, I would like to say that I like what you've got going here. I think it's good that Tonks is the new DADA teacher. I really like Samantha and her mother - They're really good original characters. Selena is good too, but shes wandering into dangerous Mary Sue territory. I like how she's from Salem though, and actually has a reason for coming to Hogwarts. Alot of people have American exchand students who magically appear on the train with "Soul searching eyes." Those bug me, but this follows an understandible plot. Keep this up and I think it will turn out great! 9/10
Author's Response: im trying really hard to keep selena away from mary-sue territory, so i'm actually modling her after one of my friends. so don't worry, selena is in good hands.
I was looking at all my reviewer's profiles to see if anyone had writtin anything at at last I found one! good story by the way, I really love it!
Author's Response: thanks! and i think that the third chap is almost done! and UR story is great to! thanks again!
This is really well written; I like it! It starts off well, and is flowing nicely. Only ONE thing though; Harry was at the Dursley's (or their neighborhood) right? So how did he get to London in 15 minuets by broom? When Harry went to Grimmauld place in London and it took several hours. Anyway.... I really love this. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and I'm glad you liked it. To clear up the whole 'fifteen minute' thing, it took him fifteen minutes to get from the park he had slept in to the Leaky Cauldron. He had already made it to London, having left the Dursley's two days prior. He had flown for small periods of time, and had arrived in the London park when it started to rain.
I'm really enjoying the story up through where I am (Chapter 11). I'm glas Hermione's tan has a reason (and a good one at that), rather than it magically appeared at night. ;)
Author's Response: Lol. I wanted Ron to get an opportunity to complement her. Not to mention, a tan tends to bring out a natural glow in most people that is irresistable.
Whoops, I clicked the Submit button before I was done. Anyway, (I'll continue so it will be easier for reading) I'm really enjoying the story up through where I am (Chapter 11). I'm glad Hermione's tan has a reason (and a good one at that), rather than it magically appeared at night. ;) There are a few bits of humor that really made me laugh. I really enjoyed Mrs. Weasley response once she discovered the missing Firewhiskey. Actually, I love how you potray Mrs. Weasley all together. She's so motherly.
It sort of irked me that Hermione referred to Voldemort as 'You-Know-Who', because after she did in Order, I would assume she always called him Voldemort. I do think that, otherwise, she's quite well in character. Rather intelligent and somewhat of a know-it-all.
I loved Moody in this chapter. He seemed so well in character to me. All the adluts in this chapter are perfect. I love how you describe Mr. Weasley as 'haveing some of the twins in him'. I really liked how you foreshadowed the danger of a Death Eater attack all throught this chapter.
"Hermione glared at the masked Death Eater. 'Why don't you shut it? We're not afraid of the likes of you!'" This paragraph seemed a bit out of character for Hermione to me. She's usually pretty good at keeping her mouth shut in danger. Other than that, I really like the story so far and can't wait to read more. Great job!
I was strolling through the stories when I came across this and decided to read it. Right here, I decided to review, and thought "Perhaps I should see who who this is by..." To my lovely surprise, another S.P.E.W. memeber! Anyway, *fixes S.P.E.W. badge*, I really love where this is going. I'm glad Lupin's back because I just like him as a character. I really enjoyed the sorting hat song, those can be tricky to write. I only found one spelling mistake, so I thought I should write it down. "The brim broke open, and the hate began to sing." Other than that one, little, bitty mistake, I think you did really well on this! I'm off to read more.
Author's Response: Hoorah! I was wondering when you would get to read my story (yes, I've heard of your search, but the mods wouldn't let me go through shameless self-promotion). Thank you so much for reading. Did you seriously read 16 chapters that quickly? *shocked*
I really enjoyed reading this particular chapter. Mainly because of Luna was so well in character. I really liked the flower think. ;) Luna is perhaps my favorite character – right after Sirius I imagen. Also, "Harry wondered how it was they breathed." That was a good way to show how romantic Ron and Hermione are without being too fluffed. I literally laughed out loud. I believe this will tirn out really well, especially if everyone is still this well in character, so keep that up!
Author's Response: Thank you. Luna's a lot like me on a day when I don't care much for other people's opinions. You're evaluation means a lot to me. I hope you continue to enjoy it as the story moves along.