Just a learning writer looking for a challange to amuse and improve herself.
That was the single most sinisterly beautiful thing I have ever read. I was entranced from start to finish, every second; every feeling was just so plausible. Hermione was perfectly in character, as was Tom and even Dumbledore. (Except for the McGonagall thing, but he can be straight if you like; he could be a monkey if you wanted and I think everyone would believe you)
Either way I love your work. You have a gift and I think I will remember that story for a long time. I only came across it because another reader, Colores, had read it on the Beta forums and had done a story review for it, which had then been used as a good example of a story review in a later thread. I can’t think that it would be possible for anyone to write a lesser review than that which you were given… I’m still in shock at how well that was done. Right up to the end where the rose was still living. And to think, I was meant to be doing the dishes.
Take care xx Chicky.
Hey, I've read the entire thing, but I'm reviewing this chapter because it has the least reviews. *laughs*
I really enjoyed this little story! It's light and fun, but it still has actual substance. I loved the OC Daisy, which is rare for me, my only issue is Olive skin, but that's just this thing I have. (I'm pretty sure Olives are green and I know Olive is a term used for lightly tanned, sort of, but I still see green people whenever someone says that.) You really can ignore that though; I'm just strange.
I have a little critique that I feel you should know, if only for future knowlege. It is just English stuff really.
First of all, we don't have bills. We don't even call them bills. We call them notes. So, you'd have a 5 pound note, which is the equiverlant of a 10 dollar bill. That is the smallest note we have. Our "equiverlant" of a one dollar bill is a 1 pound coin, which is actually worth two dollars. (Just so you can get the amount things cost into perspective, although England is usually more expensive. As a rule we don't really have big wads of notes/bills, and at fairs it would tend to be heavy buckets of coins.
Another thing that isn't really important, but I figured I'd tell you anyway. Cotten Candy is called Candy floss in England. I don't think we have funnel cakes at all. I've only ever seen them in America, but they might be in England now. (In all fairness my local fair wasn't all that great...) You didn't put it in, but we don't really have corndogs either... Just on an interest note. Oh, the trash can is called the rubbish bin!
I've only really told you the terms because it might be useful in further stories, the only thing that actually bugged me was the "two bils" to pay the game. Call it English pride, we really do love our pounds. I would advise on some stories to get an "English" beta, those who can change terms for you to make your story more authentic for being set in England. You'd be suprised at how many differances there are.
I really do hope you write that spin off with Daisy. I can't wait to read it! It sounds like it should be a fun read. Great job! Take care xx Chicky.
When the story began I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, or to be more precise I wasn’t aware that it was a dream. As the story moved on this became clear, but it wasn’t until I realised whose voice the italics were that I actually grasped where the dream was taking place, and I have to say that it was fantastic!
The swirl of emotions that Dumbledore feels, coupled with the guilt that we know Harry feels is beautifully done. The words Harry speaks are eerie coupled with the dream and what Dumbledore is seeing. I was slightly sceptical at first due to the characters that were brought up: James, Lilly, Remus and Sirius, but as more characters were introduced it became clearer what was being expressed. It wasn’t who those people were, but that they were people Dumbledore couldn’t protect, and was harming them himself. The mixture between those still alive, and those already dead, truly showed Dumbledore’s worst fears of being the cause of the deaths. I found that by mixing them it showed what has passed, and what is to be, for Dumbledore, and how it is all his fault. That was the beauty of the nightmare.
The structure of the piece also really helped draw the emotion home. The one line paragraph of “It was Minerva McGonagall,” conveyed the shock and consequent horror that Dumbledore felt. Equally the rest of the story ran in much the same way; the shorter sentences and breaks really gave it a sense of the unrest and unease, while the longer areas stopped it from getting too choppy.
As the story ended it really picked up speed, which helped to show just how desperate and upset Dumbledore was. The Death of Harry by Dumbledore’s hand, and that Dumbledore did it of his own free will, shows just how upset and confused he was. Just how desperate he was for everything to be okay, and for them not to lose.
All in all this was a wonderfully put together story and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
That really was beautiful! The poem fit perfectly, and I am disapointed that it wasn't yours, because the writing of the poem is very much like your own writing in this fic. It fits flawlessly.
I was touched by Ginny's view of the world, and the golden dawn was just so serene.
You captured her greif and mourning so well. It wasn't loud, but just a longing sadness, one that, like you said, has hope to soon dull a little. She has reason for life...
Anyway, great oneshot! It was truly magical and I really enjoyed it. Take care xx Chicklepea
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! :D I\'d love that poem to be mine too! :p Glad you liked it, and glad that you understood it so well!\r\n\r\n~Evie
This is one of the better parodys I have read in a long while. You have effortless mocked most fanfictions, (I'm sure there are more to come), without it seeming idiotic. I espeically loved Blaise.
Can't wait for more. take care xx Chicklepea
Wow! That was a great read! Is this going to be a chaptered story or a oneshot? Either way I really enjoyed it. Candace is nicly done, a little over the top but I'm guessing some kind of OCD? She reminds me of a girl I know. *laughs*
Author's Response: I\'m glad you like it. And this story IS going to be chapter, I\'m just working on a few other stories right now. Hopefully chapter one will be up soon!
Hey I really liked this oneshot! It's almost a set up for a LunaDraco pairing, but not one. Which makes it better.
I really do like stories that portray just what Draco went through in his own home during the seventh book. People seem to forget what he saw and experianced everyday and instead just called him a coward. It makes me angry, so I like this fic the more for showing what he went through.
Thanks for a great read! Take care xx Chicky.
Author's Response: Yeah, I think people think that Draco is a one-dimensional character that is only a coward. I personally think he has many layers :) Thanks so much for R&R! ~ Cassie
I can't belive it has taken me this long to leave you a proper review!
I really love how you've written this! It's so eerie and you really set the scene with the thunder strom! I really like how you feel part of the story due to the noise and you feel the characters fear.
I can't wait for you to write the next chapter! I've been wanting to read this story forever and I really can't wait!
Take care xx Chicklepea
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review and plot bunny! *hugs* Chapter one is halfway written, but because of time restraints, I'm a bit slow on writing. Sorry that it'll take sometime longer for me to go on with it. But I will go on, promised.