Hey everyone! :)
I'm not sure if you remember me or not (more than likely you have stumbled upon one of my fics and ended up here), but I have been a member of MNFF for about three years now, and slightly unactive this past year. eeek!
Today, however, I had an epiphany and realized how much I missed writing and decided to pop on over here and check out the old site. hee hee (old habits are hard to break).
Anyways, I feel terrible that I haven't been able to finish my stories, especially TFY. I'm going to try and a couple of chapters this summer so keep checking for updates. Hopefully I'll see you all around the boards once and a while! :D
A look into Ron and Hermione's fifth-year minds to experience the spazzness and crazyism in first person.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I am not J. K. Rowling. I'm not even famous. Heck, I only have one story up on Mugglenet. But I'm still glad I can walk into J. K.'s world. And tap-dance back out again.
Additional warnings: May contain fluff, excessive randomness (AU), and minor plot twists!
I would also appreciate if NikkiSue/Nicole could mod this for me :]
Congratulations on chapter four Maddy! I really like this one too:) Send me the next chappie whenever! Sarah
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll send you....6? whenever. Been superbusy. Talk 2 ya soon. --Maddy(:
I'm excited to read more. I particularly enjoyed your line "Ladies first." when James respons to Lily telling him to shut up. Very good! Keep up the excellent writing!
Author's Response: Ahh thanks so much 4 ur review! yeah i rather enjoyed that line, too (if i dont say so myself XP )! I've submitted the second chapter so i'm just waiting 4 it 2 b validated now. Thanks again 4 the review!
wOw! Okay, I'll admit that I'm not much of a Lavender fan. Okay, so I totally despise the character, but the way you wrote her, actually made me feel a twinge of pity for the girl. Great job!
Author's Response: Awww...thanks Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy that this is up! I cannot tell you how long I've been trying to get this up onto MFF. Thank you for your review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! ~MJ
I'm so glad to see this up! Congratulations. And I am the first reviewer too. Great job, EoP! :D --ginnygirl16
Congratulations! I'm glad to see this up. It is very good:) --ginnygirl16
Author's Response: Thanks you again for helping! This side story was a lot of fun!
Yay! Finally the sequel! Super cute...haha. Great job, Afifa. And when that lucky day comes for you to right the sequel to this one (I hope it's soon), I shall be the first one to leave you a review again:)
Author's Response: Hehe, thank you so much, Sarah! :D I'm glad you liked it. :)
Hm, I won't force myself with the follow up, but who knows, it might be there next week? ;) Muse is so unpredictable, isn't it? :p
Thanks for the first review, dear. :D
Congratulations, Melissa! Great job on the story, I love how unique it is. :) --ginnygirl16
Author's Response: Thanks! And thanks for being a wonderful beta. :D
I think that you did an excellent job with this. It is an interesting theory as to why Snape hated Neville, and it actually seems quite realistic now that I think about it.
I agree with ProfPosky. The last line was a great ending and I thought it was something Snape would say without getting too mushy.
One thing I would like to point out: At one point you had Snape say something about Harry looking like >>James
Their friendship is almost a predestined thing: not the kind that is written in the patterns of stars, but the simpler kind of destiny that brings together people of like mind the same way gravity pulls leaves from the trees or magnets draw iron filings to attention. Never do either of them give much thought to the infinite momentous hammer of time and all things past that draws them together. And why should they? Rose and Callum are, after all, just products of their parents and the parents before them, like the rest of us, and to be otherwise is tantamount to impossibility.
Wow! This is really scientific. I'm going to have to take a break and try and figure it all out! Great chapter, you've got me interested. I think my favorite line was The project began with Lee, who noticed the plastic buds in the ears of almost all of the people he saw during a three-month stint of having to travel on the Underground while his Apparition license was suspended.
Haha, isn't that just like Lee too? Anyways, I can't wait to see more. You did an excellent job with this, and I love how you went through all the generations. Brilliant!
Author's Response: Credit for anything that's acurate to the real world in this story should probably go to Wikipedia - it's a resource that I think people are still having trouble figuring out exactly how to go about using it. Anything about the magical "science" is just my fabrication, though. But as for more... this chapter stands alone, I'm afraid. Everything I really wanted to say about this particular point in the future, I said. I'm glad you liked it, though - thankyou for reviewing.
Okay, I have been following this story for far to long without leaving you a review, so here goes.
Okay, generally I'm not a humorous person. I have a rather dry sense of humor, and some occasionaly stupid things will make me laugh, but honey, you've got me cracking up with this story. It is absolutley hilarious.
I'm really enjoying the originality, and the fact that Lily is able to have fun with James and only dislike him when he is making a move on her. Poor James, but I think she is actually warming up to the idea. You've done a beautiful job making this story your own, and avoiding the cliches so kudos to you!
I did find one mistake, though. (Sorry, had to find something). James began chocking on his ice cream, I believe the word should be 'choking' but I'm sure it was just a typo that you can easily fix.
I do have an idea where this story is going, but I don't know if you want me to say that here, so I will just ask: Is there any chance that Lily's friends are the Muggle girls in Sirius' room when Harry goes through it in DH? I'm just getting the idea that it is, but I'm not sure yet...
Anyways, you've set the tone nicely for the rest of the story, and I am excited to see the rest of it. *Wondering when we will get to the skiing, as I'm sure it will result in lots of hilarity and such.
Keep up the excellent work!
Author's Response: thank you sooo much 4 the incredible review! im really glad you're enjoying the story! im very flattered! wow is chocking even a word? haha... and that is an interesting theory you have there... to be honest that wasnt what i was thinking about, sorry! its a good idea tho! i wish i had thought of it... :) and dont worry they start skiing the next chapter! thanks again for the great review!
Ooooh. I have to review this.
I loved all these little tid-bit romances, it was refreshing, and even though it was a one-shot, I'm sure you could definitley expand on each one and turn it into a series of one-shots. I honestly did enjoy this, and the fact that you went through almost every generation with different images was very clever, and brilliantly written.
One of my favorites was your first one, Molly/Arthur. I really wish there were more of those ones out there. I've only ever read one chaptered fic with this pairing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You kept the both of them in character, and it was so refreshing to see a care-free Weasley family.
Hmm...Rose/Scorpius, contrary to popular opinion, I'm not a huge fan of this pairing. I usually prefer Lily Luna/Scorpius over this one, but I think you have done a good job of making both the characters very real to us. I also liked how you didn't make Scorpius a copy of his father. The SPEW comment, definitley made me laugh. It was so well done, and original.
First house. Yes, that would be a very important day for James and Lily. In fact, I never thought you would use such a simple concept for these two, but I did enjoy the normality of it. One where there was no Sirius, no Voldemort, no Harry. Just the two of them. And the line where you said the house was 'so-very Lily' was excellent. Totally James.
I usually put in some critism in these reviews, but I am having a hard time coming up with any for you. Your characterization, description, dialogue, plot, was all very good. I am glad that you avoided all the cliches and truly made this story your own.
Great job with this. I look forward to reading more from you.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you for a marvellous review! When I was writing this I was actually thinking about how I could turn some of them into oneshots, especially the R/Hr and R/S. :) I'm pleased you liked the Molly/Arthur - that pairing is an absolute joy to write, and I agree that you don't see enough of them. I actually have a oneshot on them up, if you're interested ... >.> And yay for liking the Rose/Scorpius even though you're not a big fan. I take it as a compliment. :) Thank you again. This review put a wonderful smile on my face.
I think you met the challenge very well. Dumbledore is often very hard to write and you did a good job with him. I (like everyone else) particularly enjoyed his last line, which was so full of Dumbledore randomness that it was hard not to laugh out loud.
I only have one qualm being your use of 'huh'. I'm not British, so I usually don't like picking on things like this, but I feel the term was to American for the story. You might have got away with it if you used it once, but when it was used repeatedly, it was hard not to notice.
Otherwise I think you did an excellent job. You described the setting very well and kept Lockhart IC. I particularly enjoyed his referals to the one witch and how her heart might fail if she hear Dumbledore talking about 'Voldemort.' Very good.
Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the random Dumbledore quips. It seems like in the books, he got a little less so as the fight with Voldemort progressed. His randomness, however, seems very normal when coupled with Lockhart, who wants to spend every spare moment bragging about himself. I have to wonder whether or not their verbal wanderings would have made staff meetings exceedingly long. I had a few misgivings about the "huh" as well, because I wasn't quite set on the "noise word" I was looking for. It seemed like an unattractive, guttural sound, less charming or thoughtful than "hmmm.'" I went back through my document and only counted "huh" once, but maybe I used something similar to it.
Carole, I really enjoyed this. I've actually been stalking your character class for a while now, so I couldn't miss the chance to review this.
I absolutley adore the relationship you have written between Oliver and Cedric. The way you wrote it made it quite believable. (Hmm... this sounds strangely like the comments you have recieved in class.) I also love the tiny inserts with his father, it explains Oliver's passion for Quidditch, while at the same time gives him a reason for his (for lack of a better word) obsession.
There was one spot where you wrote the twins as they trudged out of the Gryffindor Changing room. Should it not be changing room? I might be wrong, but I never thought 'Changing' was capitalized before.
Anyways, I think you ended it perfectly. You had a solid beginning, middle, and end with a good plot in between. You've done an amazing job with the character, and I would love to see you write more Oliver. (*Wink wink, nudge nudge)
Author's Response: Thanks Sarah, I appreciate the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. As this was for characterisation class, I'm very pleased you thought Oliver was well portrayed. I do want to write a follow up - possibly from Cedric's POV. And you're right about Changing room so I shall change that now. ta lots ~Carole~
I wanted to start off by saying that your summary was wonderful, it got me hooked before I read the story, and started the story off with a great bang. Great job!
The originality of having the Evans dislike Vernon was fresh, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, though I don't think he would be rude enough to belch at the dinner table;)
One thing though, that I'm not sure about is your characterization of Lily. For the most part, there is nothing wrong with it, except that I think you may have confused your timelines a bit. If Lily is eighteen, then she is dating James (Remus says that they were dating during seventh year in the OOtP), but you have her referring to him as Potter. Unless this is meant to be a joke (which I didn't get from it), then I rather doubt they would still be calling each other by their surnames.
Besides that, though, it was quite good (especially for missing your beta). Your ending was quite good, though, I will admit, I thought that Petunia and Vernon had eloped. (Or have they? Next chapter perhaps). Overall it was very enjoyable, and I look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: I'm glad you've liked it so far. One thing I want to clarify is that the very beginning of the story is something that hasn't happened yet. Its the moment when she realises that she is the last Evans. but that is still to come. as for Vernon, I don't like him at all. i think he fostered Petunia's hate of magic. He will get more classy in future chapters, though only because he wants to appear better than the "magicians". Thank you for reviewing!
I want to start off by saying that you did a wonderful job. I've always thought that Professor McGonagall had a special place for the Marauders and it was quite fitting to write a story on them from her POV. You kept her marvelously in character, while at the same time I saw different qualities in her, which made the story very enjoyable. Her advice was sound, and seemed perfect to whom she was speaking to at the time.
One of my favorite lines: Don’t be a follower all your life, Peter. You need to carve out your own niche – perhaps at the Ministry. After all, Potter and Black won’t be by your side for the rest of your life.”
I think this was perfect. It somewhat connects Peter with what he will do after Hogwarts, by becoming a Death Eater, while at the same time can be read and mean a different thing completley. I actually read the line twice, and the first time my mind jumped to the DE Peter, but the second time, it seemed like proper advice to give to someone like him which was perfect.
I think particularly, the interview with Remus was very well done. I know that I had tears in my eyes after reading it, and you captured the emotions, the pain, everything very well.
Now, one thing that I'm not to sure about is how quickly Professor McGonagall jumps down Sirius idea of becoming an Auror. I know that you provided good reasoning, and I'm glad that his surname wasn't the only reason for him not becoming an Auror, but from what I read, it seemed to me if McGonagall was trying to discourage him as much as possible. I know that this is not what you intended for him, and I really liked the bit about the Whomping Willow incident at the end, but to me, it seemed as if Professor McGonagall wasn't think along the lines of best interest, but rather turning his idea down because of his school behaviour (which I'm sure probably was not the best most of the time;)).
James' interview: This was very good. I actually thought he was serious about playing professional Quidditch, and thought this was good to go away from the 'Auror' idea all of his friends had presented. When McGonagall first got angry about this idea, I thought it was in character, but rather exxagerated. That is, until I found it out he was just stringing her along. I admit to having chuckled a bit there, but I still think a professional Quidditch career could be quite plausible.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this. You did a good job avoiding all the cliches and at the same time did a wonderful job describing each of the characters and their reactions. Great job!
Author's Response: Hey, Sarah, thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked the interviews and that little line about Peter. Remus makes me sad as well. I did giggle at James when I was writing it - he's a bad boy at times. I agree he would have loved to be a Quidditch player (I have his dad as an old pro in my fic) but I wanted to show that he's starting to mature and knows there are more important things to be thinking about. Okay, Sirius, well I think she is discouraging him simply because she doesn't feel he is right to be an Auror. I know Harry is moderately reckless in his time at Hogwarts, but he's not as irresponsible as Sirius was (or his dad). The main difference between James and Sirius is that supposed prank - it could have led to Snape's death and I wanted to show that it still had consequences for Sirius. I also think McGonagall is rather hoping her words will make him grow up - perhaps they do - but he still particpates in the SWM scene *sigh*.
Thank you for the review - it's much appreciated - and very welcome. Carole xxx
I would like to say that you have started an amazing story. Your characterization of Lily is very very good, and I really enjoyed your first chapter where you explained her Muggle life. It was very entertaining.
I think perhaps that you have characterized her so well that it seems so real. I completley love the world you have created around her, as we see so little of her life outside of Hogwarts and the Magical world.
One thing I think could have been improved is Lily's parents and their rection to her statement that she was a witch.
To me, having a daughter tell me that she was a witch would result in more then calmly removing dishes from the table. I think perhaps that they would not have believed it until they had a meeting with a Ministry Official or Professor Dumbledore. Of course, after everything Lily and Petunia relayed to them they would have certainly been thinking of it. Perhaps you will explain this in further chapters, but it was the one thing I thought a little underdeveloped.
But besides that, I thoroughly enjoyed your interpretation of Mrs. Snape, and I think that you have a wonderful story in the making. I look forward to reading the rest of the story.
Author's Response: I love long reviews! Thank you for reading and reviewing, I'm ecstatic that you liked Lily and Mrs. Snape. I'm always a little worried that my characters turn out a little too cliched. I also think that Lily's life before Hogwarts is interesting to think about! As for the parents' reaction, I very much appreciate your criticism. I agree with you to a point. I kind of went through a couple of phases of thought for that. I just thought that out of anybody they would trust, wouldn't it be their own daughter? (Let me mention that I believe Lily was very trustworthy up to that point.) So I must say I think they would have believed her over any stranger, though I'll take your advice and attempt to develop it better, because it is a little weak. As I am not in the parental stage of life it's easier for me to look through Lily's eyes rather than Mr. and Mrs. Evans, so I'll work on it! Again, thank you! *loves ginnygirl16*
Terri! I just wanted to pop in and say that I thought you did a marvelous job showing Remus' internal struggle. I loved how he seemed to be convincing himself that Sirius was the Death Eater although I could tell deep down that he didn't believe it.
The photos were a very nice touch. I actually cried at that part. The part with the little box was so creative and a lovely touch.
Over all I loved this story, and I think you did an excellent job.