Penname: Inverarity [Contact]
Real name:
Member Since: 01/03/08
Website: http://inverarity.livejournal.com/
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:

I am the same Inverarity you may have seen on the Beta Forums, and other sites as well. I am an older HP fan, and prefer not to give out too much other personal information.

Reviews are greatly appreciated; I don't usually respond to them individually, but I do read them all. I'll answer questions when possible.

You can find information about my stories and characters on the Harry Potter Fanon wiki. (There is also a separate Alexandra Quick wiki.) Be aware, however, that most of it was written by fans, not by me, so the information there is not coming directly from the author and might not always be correct.

Artwork and banner images for all my stories, including illustrations donated by fans.

[Report This]
Reviews by Inverarity
 

Summary: What if Harry Potter had been a girl? This is the story of Alyssa Potter, the girl who lived. Join Alyssa as she encounters tragedy, romance, danger, and hidden family secrets. (It starts at the beginning of December of her fifth year at Hogwarts.) Please read and review!

Categories: General Fics, Alternate Universe, Severus/Lily, Draco/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1765 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
04/07/09 Updated: 04/10/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 04/10/09 Title: Chapter 1: Haunted

Harry-as-a-girl AUs can be interesting, but I'd really like to see something original and different. So far, this is just the same story we're familiar with, except Harry is "Alyssa" (and Snape is "good looking, tall, and muscular"? Oy.) How does "Alyssa" change the dynamic of the Trio? Is it Hermione who is her best friend now? Does Ron have romantic feelings for her?

The scene with Draco seemed pointless, especially since he treats her exactly the same way he treated Harry. On the one hand, I'm glad that you didn't immediately have Draco crushing on Alyssa, just because she's a girl (or worse, her crushing on Draco), but on the other hand, it just reinforced the impression that the only difference between this and the original story is that Harry is a girl (with an improbable name) and Snape has been made good looking.

Starting right in the middle of OotP makes it hard for us to see how your character diverges from the canonical Boy-Who-Lived, so I would recommend that future chapters perhaps cover a bit more of her past, and how she might view the world differently than Harry did.

 

Crouching Father, Hidden Terror by Kerichi
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 24]

Summary:

It's official. Malfoy has murdered sleep.

*A Ron pov outtake to Our Little Secret.*



Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 1213 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/09/09 Updated: 04/09/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 04/09/09 Title: Chapter 1: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Fluffy and cute, the characterization is spot-on.

Author's Response: I wanted to show how their personalities complement each other and make things better...in and out of bed, heh, so thank you!

 

My Daddy Says by RedChequeredConverse
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: My daddy’s been acting strange. He won’t tell me why he’s so worried about Harry Potter. He won’t tell me who my mum is. He won’t tell me anything anymore.

Told from the POV of Felicity, Draco Malfoy’s daughter. Disregards the Epilogue. Contains slash, though nothing graphic.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Profanity, Slash

Word count: 2664 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
04/21/09 Updated: 07/30/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 04/29/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I'm intrigued. So far Draco and Narcissa seem quite in character. Felicity is a little too precious, especially for nine, and it's not really a Malfoy-esque name, but I'm still curious to see who her mother is and where you are going with this.

Felicity's insight and empathy for the peacocks is what grabbed me. A nice little bit of characterization right at the start that made me want to keep reading and find out more about this girl.

I think it takes away from Narcissa's coldness a bit to have her call Felicity "Fee" -- I'm not sure if that was deliberate or not.

Overall, well written. I spotted one error: "They don’t like being petting anywhere else" should be "petted."

 



Author's Response: Glad I got them in character -- that's one of my biggest fears while writing fan fics. And there's a reason 'Felicity' is a very Malfoy-like name. ;) You liked the peacock scene! *huggles* It was what made this story jump from plot bunny to reality, so I'm rather attached to it. Darn -- I though I had Narcisaa call her 'Felicity.' Oh, well. Off to correct that -- and the typo you pointed out, thank you -- right now.

 

Gambit by Caliente
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: [NextGen] Short one-shot vignette. Rose confronts Scorpius when she hears a devastating rumor about their friendship. Teenage drama ensues. Also, there's magic and chess involved.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1914 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/29/09 Updated: 05/02/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 05/02/09 Title: Chapter 1: Gambit

 A good rule of thumb is that if there is a point in the story that requires an out-of-story explanation from the author, then you either need to clarify it in the story, or leave it out.

I think this was fairly well written, but the cause of Rose's distress was a bit contrived. (As amusing as Scorpius's comment about all of them being "named after sodding flowers" was, it's not really likely that anyone is going to mistake Pansy for Rose just because they're both flowers.)

Also, you can't castle after your king has been put in check.



Author's Response: Oh, I really do agree with you about the out-of-story explaining. The truth is, I normally wouldn't have bothered because I would have assumed that the reader either (a) wouldn't notice or (b) would understand the creative license; however, I've noted that Harry Potter fans tend to really be concerned with the little things. There's nothing wrong with that but, as a precaution, I decided to clear up anything I thought might be cause for concern no matter how unnecessary I thought it was. I suppose it could be considered contrived. I took liberties with the idea that pansy can be used as an adjective, Scorpius would be smart enough not to use Rose's name if he really WAS insulting her, and Giulia's native language being Italian instead of English. It is a bit wild but... I don't know. Plus the story went through enough people-- gossip tends to do that. I just liked the idea of miscommuniation and all that and figured it was plausible enough to survive suspended disbelief. Hey, thanks for the heads up about chess! I really don't know anything about it. Next set of revisions, I'll be sure to fix that. :) Cheers.

 

Friends in Unlikely Places by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: Hermione Weasley (nee Granger) was always top of the class. Everything she needed to know she found out from books.

But no book can help her bond with her child. Will a chance encounter with a stranger will put her back on the right path?

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1645 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/14/09 Updated: 05/14/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 05/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: A Natural Mother.

Cute -- I can see Hermione starting to lose it when being a mother doesn't go according to the textbooks.

Ron really needs a good kick, and Harry, too. Their wives are being run ragged doing all the childcare while they sit there playing chess? Are they still twelve-year-old boys?

Astoria's introduction confused me a bit at first --  "a pretty girl with blonde, curly hair and delicate features" made me think she was much younger, until she was described as being pregnant. A pregnant, married woman isn't a girl.



Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Yeah, blokes do tend to ignore what's going on around them. My beta wanted to throw something at Ron at that point. Astoria I see as very young (seventeenish) so still a girl. I think that's just how I see the difference between a girl and a woman though. Carole xxx

 

Eyes Wide Open by sorrow_of_severus
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary: Dandelion Dursley is heartbroken to leave her mother and beloved grandfather, Dudley, to start her first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Little does she know that she will blossom in her training as a witch, discovering that she has a highly rare magical talent. She will also befriend The Forgotten Ones: Lily Luna Potter, Albus Severus Potter, and Hugo Weasley.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 7511 Chapters: 7 Completed: No
Published:
05/21/09 Updated: 08/28/10


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 06/01/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

The beginning is kind of interesting, but a little too abrupt. Ella's mother took care of her for seven months, and then simply handed her over with no signs of regret or remorse, and never saw her again? Also, how did she afford a P.I.?

I also found Dudley transforming a little too quickly, and right now, we know virtually nothing about Ella or Dandelion.

Dandelion is the main character so of course you want to get to her quickly, but I think the first chapter, explaining her background, her environment, her family, should have been longer, to make the situation more real and to make us actually care about these characters. Right now, they're just names and sketchy summaries.

I did like the details about Ella's mother's appearance, and her snippy attitude, which gave me some sense of what she was like as a person. And Ella's reason for naming her daughter "Dandelion" was also very clever, and actually made me like the name.



Author's Response: Thank you for your feedback, Inverarity. I might have changed things, but it's a little late to do so now that it's published. I'll try to make future events in the story less abrupt, and keep your comments in mind when I begin future stories. I'm glad you like Dandelion's name! I'm rather fond of it, and as I did more research into the name and thought about it some more, I liked it even better. You'll see why.

 

Loved and Lost by coolh5000
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Past Featured StorySitting in his History of Magic lesson in mid-June, Sixth-year Teddy Lupin has a sudden feeling of unease. Unable to explain it, he pushes the feeling aside, but can't seem to shake the idea that something has gone seriously wrong. Only later that evening does he finally find out what, and then his world changes forever.

This was written for SPEW 007 with the prompt, 'ache' This is quite an angsty one-shot - you have been warned!

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 3028 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/23/09 Updated: 05/23/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 05/23/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Teddy's characterization was good. He seems an ordinary young man, perhaps a little like Harry would have been with a less hazardous and unhappy childhood, which is essentially how Rowling described Teddy. Victoire also avoided most of the cliches I usually read, though we don't really see much of her.

I thought it was a nice story overall, though I'm not sure I buy Andromeda Tonks being strong enough to survive the death of most of her family in the war, but only "clinging to life" until Teddy turns seventeen. I think there should have been something stronger or more compelling to precipitate her demise; she's just not old enough to give up and die because she thinks Teddy doesn't need her anymore.

The writing was good, though there was some repetitive word usage and a bit of superfluous description. Also, there seems to be some pronoun confusion here: " Wondering if he was about to find out the crime he had committed to make him feel so awful, she stopped."

I may check out A Proper Goodbye. I think this woud be interesting as part of a larger Teddy Lupin story.



Author's Response: Thanks for the review and for pointing out the pronoun mistake - I've fixed that now - and for the feedback about being repetitive; I'll keep that in mind in the future.

I'm glad you thought my Teddy characterisation was good - I've been writing him a lot recently, thanks to a SPEW challenge, and it's reassuring to hear I've not been doing too badly.

Perhaps the clinging to life part is a little bit melodramatic, but in my mind, even a person as strong as Andromeda could only endure so much before she couldn't cope anymore and I was reluctant to give her too dramatic an ending - I simply wanted her to slip away. Maybe some sort of illness, or other reason for her death, would make it a little more believable, though.

I hope you do check out A Proper Goodbye, and let me know what you think of that, too!

~Hannah

 

'Tis the Night by Astrid Skywalker
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: He wanders aimlessly down the boulevard, allowing himself to be jostled by the rush-hour crowd. It is Christmas Eve, 1994: his first Christmas Eve away from England. He finds it utterly confusing.

A Sirius-centric one-shot. Written in Christmas 2008 for a dear friend. Hope you like it. =)

(It's been a while, I know, but I figured that if I added a couple of fics to MNFF, I'd be able to get my writing mojo back. We'll see. Fingers crossed. Lyrics are taken from Vienna Teng's "The Atheist Christmas Carol.")



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1166 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/26/09 Updated: 07/26/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 07/27/09 Title: Chapter 1: 'Tis the Night

That was well written, though I usually don't like songfics. But I was impressed that someone else is familiar with Vienna Teng.

The banter between Remus and Sirius at the end was my favorite part.



Author's Response: Vienna Teng is excellent music, I must say. Hurray for VT fans. =) And thank you for taking the time out to review! I love writing dialogue between Remus and Sirius; they're two of the most entertaining fictional characters to ever inhabit my head, that's for sure.

 

Summary: Past Featured Story

"James Sirius Potter, it is the judgment of the Wizengamot that you have been found guilty. You knowingly, in possession of sound mind and body, used the Cruciatus Curse and the Killing Curse in the intentional torture and murder of one Gregory Goyle the Third."

James Potter was going to Azkaban for the rest of his natural life, and his whole family was in shambles. His wife and child have fled the country, his sister was missing, and his parents were a wreck. However, James knew that he had larger problems: his guilt was coming more and more in question.

Though he knew that James was withholding information about the circumstances of the murder of which he had been found guilty, Harry had secrets of his own; however, even he could not handle this torrent of trouble alone. Can Harry trust his darkest confidences to anyone? Even family? 

How will the Potter clan stop the downward spiral into pain and disaster, and can they recover what they've lost?

 

This fic was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Next-Generation Story.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Non-Consensual Sex, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 188923 Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/10/09 Updated: 05/05/10


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 11/03/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1

This is an interesting story premise. I have to offer some critique, though.

 1. As another reviewer pointed out, your writing style is very verbose, and the dialog is stilted. Nothing that comes out of the characters' mouths sounds like the way real people talk -- it reads more like they are delivering lines in a theatrical production. (And no, I do not believe that you actually talk that way. Having a large vocabulary isn't the same thing.)

2. For the most part, your writing is pretty good, but I caught a number of grammatical errors, particularly with verb tense.

3. Along with the wordiness, way too much overuse of adjectives and adverbs and similes. A little bit makes writing sparkle; a lot makes it sound like someone trying to show off their vocabulary.

4. There is a lot of unnecessary information that gets inserted in places that interrupt the flow of the story. You've put James in Azkaban, which is a very tense and dramatic situation, and the readers want to know what's going to happen next. So you go off on a tangent about Hugo's girlfriend's platinum-blond hair, followed by reminiscing about how James met Augusta. Now we've totally become disconnected from the tension you built up by putting James in prison. Frankly, finding out that he met Augusta in a fairly typical Hollywood-style jerk-meets-girl, girl-decks-jerk, jerk-eventually-wins-girl-with-his-roguish-charm manner could be condensed to a paragraph or two.

 (Stephen King does this a lot --in the middle of a story, he'll suddenly spend 50 pages on a flashback one of the characters has to a childhood memory. That's one reason why most people say that Stephen King needs a stronger editor. It's a bad habit to get into, especially if you're not Stephen King.)

Don't take my criticisms as saying "Your story sucks." I actually find it pretty interesting and will probably keep writing. But I do think you could use some stylistic, narrative, and SPaG help from a beta.



Author's Response: Thank you for the SPEW :)

I can tell you that my writing style is much changed in later chapters as I slowly recall the writer I was when I was younger and more practiced. For James, there really isn't much that changes in his situation in terms of 'what happens next', because 1) he's already in prison, and he's not likely to go anywhere and 2) the real story is taking place on the outside. While I do agree that I probably could have skipped most of the flashback, I felt it was very important to make sure that the reader knows, by bits and pieces, that James Potter is not a murderer. That's what I try to do with his thoughts, mannerisms, and memories, and if I've failed at that...well, that just kinda sucks, lol.

I guess the way it's written and the style is a matter of perspective. I feel it's important to define the characters before embarking on the story ship, but if I'm not doing that right/at all, a red flag would be awesome.

Thanks, Jess

 

Luceafărul by Calico
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: On a night soon after Voldemort's destruction, Charlie tells Ginny the legend of Luceafărul. But is it her story as well?

Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2366 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/14/09 Updated: 11/28/09


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 11/29/09 Title: Chapter 1: Luceafărul

I liked this. I don't really care to read Harry/Ginny stories, usually, but you made them believable and gave them a depth that was lacking in the books. Charlie's Romanian fairy tale was a nice touch.

 

The Abyss Gazes by Calico
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary:

“If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Scorpius Malfoy has avoided Althea Burbage – and everyone else at Hogwarts – for five long years. Who, he thinks, would want to be friends with the son of a Death Eater? Certainly not a girl whose aunt was murdered before the eyes of his father and grandfather.

Unfortunately, Thea doesn't seem to agree.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 9279 Chapters: 5 Completed: No
Published:
02/10/11 Updated: 04/02/11


Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 04/04/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: The Light in the Library

That's pretty scary, that the best Muggle literature Hogwarts can offer is Ayn Rand! Scorpius does seem like just the sort of angsty little git who'd think Rand was awesome. Sure hope he grows out of it -- Terry Goodkind's Objectivist wizards are bad enough!

Oddly, I hadn't gotten any notices of subsequent chapters for this story -- something must be wrong with MNFF's story alerts again.



Author's Response: I completely agree with you about Ayn Rand – she is NOT one of my favorite authors, but some of her quotes & concepts fit perfectly with Scorpius's inferiority/guilt complex and I just had to throw her in. Hopefully you'll like my later literary references a little more...

 
Reviewer: Inverarity Signed
Date: 02/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Complications of Contemplation

Scorpius and a Burbage -- an interesting combination.So far Althea is a more interesting character than Scorpius, who's the usual "Malfoy heir hiding from his legacy" with an added dose of surreptitious Mugglephilia.You hint at a few other secrets, though.

I think you've been reading 19th century romances, as I see the influence here. I hope the story will involve more than just a pair of star-crossed lovers set in the wizarding world --  it's not Challah and Pumpkin Juice yet -- but the characterization and the premise is interesting enough, and your writing, as usual, is very good. (A few typos and grammatical errors, but it's otherwise pretty polished.)



Author's Response: Thanks for your comments! Your stories are the best on MNFF, so I really appreciate that you're taking the time to read some of mine. Yeah, Althea is definitely more interesting as a character – I tried to make them equally relatable, but Althea's the kind of person who pushes herself forward without quite knowing why. I meant this story to really explore guilt and the affect it has on the next generation, so I'm a little worried it may fall into Malfoy cliches, but honestly it seems like it kind of has to so the characters can address that issue. This is definitely a work in progress, though – please bear with me!

 
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES