Fluffy and cute, the characterization is spot-on.

Author's Response: I wanted to show how their personalities complement each other and make things better...in and out of bed, heh, so thank you!

 A good rule of thumb is that if there is a point in the story that requires an out-of-story explanation from the author, then you either need to clarify it in the story, or leave it out.

I think this was fairly well written, but the cause of Rose's distress was a bit contrived. (As amusing as Scorpius's comment about all of them being "named after sodding flowers" was, it's not really likely that anyone is going to mistake Pansy for Rose just because they're both flowers.)

Also, you can't castle after your king has been put in check.

Cute -- I can see Hermione starting to lose it when being a mother doesn't go according to the textbooks.

Ron really needs a good kick, and Harry, too. Their wives are being run ragged doing all the childcare while they sit there playing chess? Are they still twelve-year-old boys?

Astoria's introduction confused me a bit at first --  "a pretty girl with blonde, curly hair and delicate features" made me think she was much younger, until she was described as being pregnant. A pregnant, married woman isn't a girl.

Teddy's characterization was good. He seems an ordinary young man, perhaps a little like Harry would have been with a less hazardous and unhappy childhood, which is essentially how Rowling described Teddy. Victoire also avoided most of the cliches I usually read, though we don't really see much of her.

I thought it was a nice story overall, though I'm not sure I buy Andromeda Tonks being strong enough to survive the death of most of her family in the war, but only "clinging to life" until Teddy turns seventeen. I think there should have been something stronger or more compelling to precipitate her demise; she's just not old enough to give up and die because she thinks Teddy doesn't need her anymore.

The writing was good, though there was some repetitive word usage and a bit of superfluous description. Also, there seems to be some pronoun confusion here: " Wondering if he was about to find out the crime he had committed to make him feel so awful, she stopped."

I may check out A Proper Goodbye. I think this woud be interesting as part of a larger Teddy Lupin story.

This is an interesting story premise. I have to offer some critique, though.

 1. As another reviewer pointed out, your writing style is very verbose, and the dialog is stilted. Nothing that comes out of the characters' mouths sounds like the way real people talk -- it reads more like they are delivering lines in a theatrical production. (And no, I do not believe that you actually talk that way. Having a large vocabulary isn't the same thing.)

2. For the most part, your writing is pretty good, but I caught a number of grammatical errors, particularly with verb tense.

3. Along with the wordiness, way too much overuse of adjectives and adverbs and similes. A little bit makes writing sparkle; a lot makes it sound like someone trying to show off their vocabulary.

4. There is a lot of unnecessary information that gets inserted in places that interrupt the flow of the story. You've put James in Azkaban, which is a very tense and dramatic situation, and the readers want to know what's going to happen next. So you go off on a tangent about Hugo's girlfriend's platinum-blond hair, followed by reminiscing about how James met Augusta. Now we've totally become disconnected from the tension you built up by putting James in prison. Frankly, finding out that he met Augusta in a fairly typical Hollywood-style jerk-meets-girl, girl-decks-jerk, jerk-eventually-wins-girl-with-his-roguish-charm manner could be condensed to a paragraph or two.

 (Stephen King does this a lot --in the middle of a story, he'll suddenly spend 50 pages on a flashback one of the characters has to a childhood memory. That's one reason why most people say that Stephen King needs a stronger editor. It's a bad habit to get into, especially if you're not Stephen King.)

Don't take my criticisms as saying "Your story sucks." I actually find it pretty interesting and will probably keep writing. But I do think you could use some stylistic, narrative, and SPaG help from a beta.

That's pretty scary, that the best Muggle literature Hogwarts can offer is Ayn Rand! Scorpius does seem like just the sort of angsty little git who'd think Rand was awesome. Sure hope he grows out of it -- Terry Goodkind's Objectivist wizards are bad enough!

Oddly, I hadn't gotten any notices of subsequent chapters for this story -- something must be wrong with MNFF's story alerts again.