Whaddup. I'm working on the bio. For now, imagine dancing unicorns and Jensen Ackle's face.
That was brilliant... the scene in (not yet) Hagrid's hut was quite graphic, and I normaly don't like to read HP FFs that have sex scenes but I have to say that the way you... Well I'd like to say delicatley danced around anythin' to graphic, but it'd be a blantant lie. :)However, the concept of Severus and James, and your writing style was far to appealing to just click away; I must say I made the right choice.
I do hope this isn't the end, and my better guess would be that it isn't, considering the chapter ended quite abrubtly. I look forward to reading any interactions between Harry and Sev, and in paticular between the new American singing sensation ;D
This is a fantastic story, and I very much look forward to reading the next installment.
This is a really interesting story so far. You've done well characterizing Molly and Arthur, and I like how Arthur is the Minister now. I only have one critique, and it's more like general advice.
In future stories, you should try to have more of an air of mystery - we could already guess that Ron had taken a liking to Ashley, but if you had make it more... suspensful, I guess would be the word, I think it would have read better. Not that it isn't good the way it is!
Just wanted to say that, I'll be reveiwing more later!
Don't read if you are offended with rape and abuse. Contains events that will be quite offensive and possibly "disgusting". You have been warned.
Runner Up in the Dangerous Liaisons Awards and He Had It Coming Awards.
~The story is now Complete!~
Thanks for reading!
It was crazy, I know, but right now I don't care if I lost my sanity. It's quite normal among us Slytherins.
Of all the brilliant lines so far, this, by far, was the best. I even laughed, even though for the past half hour I've been cringing and telling myself feircly that this would never happen. It's hard to believe that though... I mean if they were in bedrooms only separated by a bathroom, then who knows what Malfoy would do.
No. Malfoy is sick but he wouldn't do that.
Hermione would tell immediately.
She's a human being. A girl. Being a witch doesn't change that - make her stronger or something.
She's smart! She could've cursed Malfoy into obvion by now!
And this... this is what my minds been saying. I shall leave a proper reveiw in some later chapter. For now, I'm arguing with my self and enjoying a thrilling story.
Who may or may not be slightly schitzo.
Tsk tsk. I really want to reveiw but that Next button is staring at me and I can not refuse it. Honestly, a good one will come. I planned on doing homework tonight, you know...
*stares at A/N*
Oh, that's promising. It's now two in the morning and I have to go to work at eleven. Damn you. Damn you all to hell. I don't think I've ever been more captivated by any story, and I'm nearly including the original Harry Potter books.
I will eventually say something about the actual story...
You have manipulated the human physcee in a way I have never seen nor heard of. The greatest accomplishment though, and believe me, to be able to extract one from this story is an accomplishment in its self, is that I never once doubted that it was Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy having these feelings.
And now I'm going to use your words against you. Thanks for supporting me and I hope you go out and give one last review for Delightful Pain when it's over.
My dear, you have made it painfully clear that the Delightful Pain will never cease. I don't think Hermione will ever be in her right mind again, and I don't think that I will ever read the books without imagining her as hurt, frail, and on the brink of insanity. All the same, Draco will never be anything but a rapist. There is only one fiction which has left me with this opinion, and I will state it again as I have so many other places - Borderline, by MaiaMadness. Except I will never imagine Remus strait again.
You have delved into the inner workings of the human/wizard mind in such a way that you have questioned even my sanity. I have never felt, and my Godric I mean felt, such confusion in my life. The earlier reveiw I left is still true - I am arguing in my mind and have continuously been for the past two and a half hours. If I were to even begin to completely understand the reasons behind Hermione and Draco's actions I think I might just throw in the towl and enter myself into an insane asylum. Am I making my point clear? They [Hermione and Draco] were demented, yet perfectly able to funtcion, but never normaly. I have never read, nor gone through the emotions as well, about how a boy can decide, in a split moment of lust, to rape someone. I have never understood those reason behind such a terrible act, and even though you deny the reality of the outcome, I believe that it is completely possible.
I searched for this story so that I could leave a reveiw for an assignment over on the Beta boards. I daresay I found so much more than a good story to reveiw. You have succeded in making me question more than just the wizarding world. At first, during the (dissapointingly, I may add.) breif period when we see the 'evil' Draco, I thought you had to be demented yourself to be able to portray those feelings - those actions.
And it wasn't dissapointing because of the writing. Quite the contrary, I was so engrossed in the story at that point that I was looking forward to seeing that side of Draco. The side that was so perfectly believeable that I shuddered after nearly every sentence... No. Word.
Also, I'd like to say that I wouldn't dream of asking for a sequel. There is no need. You left many questions open, but I don't want them to be answered. Your story was obviously not about the Wizarding War - It was about the war between two enemies, and I firmly believe that they remained enemies, no matter the lust that resided between them. I doubted at moments whether your statement about their being in love was true (maybe around chapters five or six... I've been up too long. Thanks *le sigh*) but I was quickly proven wrong. They hated each other. And that hate is the kind of hate that would haunt a person for the rest of their life... and you have to be some kind of damn author to be able to make that impression.
Well, I promised a reveiw and it seems that I've blabbered on like a crazed fangirl. I have only one question... will you marry me? Queen or not, I think we'd make a nice pair :p
This is a great introduction. I have a pretty clear picture of what's going to happen, though I'm not one hundred percent sure. It gives a good air of mystery.
I have only a few critisms; Parstletounge isn't passed down from parents to kids. I'm pretty sure that it's very rare among Wizards. Although it is perfectly possible that it would pass so closely between realitives, I've always thought that it was a one in one hundred sort of thing.
And secondly, although the description is beautiful, and I have a perfectly clear image of this setting, (literealy, I don't think any one's ever painted a better picture) I got kind of caught up in the description. I don't know if it's a bad thing or not though, because as I said, I see the place perfectly.
Author's Response: Parseltongue was passed on from generation to generation of Gaunts who were the decendants of Slytherin himself. Riddle spoke Parseltongue because his mother and grandfather did. Not that we knew this when I wrote this fic prior to the release of HBP, but we know it now which it\'s rather nice to have canon prove ya right *g* Glad you\'ve enjoyed this otherwise. I wish I could bring myself to finish it, but I\'m afraid what is is what stands.
Sorry to run away without a proper reveiw, but I noticed that this hasn't been updated since sometime last year.... Tis not discontinued is it? I think I might die if it were. Like literaly, fall to the ground.
You've left us with Rhea in love (used light, o' course) with Snape! How could you leave it like that?! I beg you for more! Beg!
*Will leave an actual reveiw later*
Everything seemed so unreal. I needed to feel something, anything, to know I was still alive. Desperate, I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Picking up a razor, I slashed violently at my wrist. The pain jolted me back to consciousness. It gave me a sort of relief, to know that at least I was capable of feeling pain. I stood and watched as my own blood splashed into the basin. Finally, the emotions began to flood back. But I found these even harder to deal with.
That's a little contridicting. All throughout the story one of the two main emotions being portrayed in pain. To say that she cut herself to feel the pain is, as I said, contridicting. Maybe you meant it as in physical pain?
Anyway, I rather enjoyed reading this. It's the first story I've read that doesn't have the happy ending, and I think you've done it quite well.
Why Maia, you're a fablous Beta and a fantastic author. I'm affraid I don't like this one as much as Borderline though... Mostly because Borderline was just too touching and sad for anything to come close to it.
Now, I'm terribly sorry but I have to be critical instead of fangirlyish. I didn't really see the reason behind anything. Draco stumbles upon Harry, he calls a truce of all things, and then... they end up in bed. Good plot, but it lacked... emotions, I guess.
Don't misunderstand though, I loved the story. Especialy the last bit, and Draco's last lines. I couldn't help but to find myself laughing as well, and at other parts of the story.
Also, I had the right kinda upbringing you might say, and decided to play Bohemian Rhapsody while reading this. It. Fit. Perfectly. Halfway through I had to restart the song and the song was at the line "Nothing really matters" at your line "Nothing really mattered anymore.". Fantastic.
Well, I'm off to read the sequal/last chapter/epilouge.
Author's Response: I can understand your concern regarding \"why\". I believe the easiest way to explain it is that it was a desparate need for closeness which made it happen. It was an act of passion rather than love, really.
I\'ve always felt that a relationship between Harry and Draco must be short and sweet. If they get to know each other too well, they will eventually drift apart again, because their personalitites will always clash. They must be driven by passion rather than affection, at least at first, in order to keep them as in character as possible. In this story Draco knows he\'s going to die. He harbours an attraction towards Harry, and decides to act upon it because he knows he has very little time left, and nothing to lose (not to mention that he is drunk as a skunk). Harry responds out of compassion and selflessness, as well as because of his own loneliness and a mutual wish for closeness with another human being.
This is how I see a potential relationship between the two working out; in other words, I believe them to be doomed to failure. In a situation where they actually have time to form a romantic bond, they still would never make it.
You know, I probably liked Borderline best as well. I think that\'s honestly one of the best stories I\'ve ever written. Have you tried to listen to that with Stinkfist playing? I think it fits, but it would be nice to hear someone else\'s opinion as well...
Thank you so much for reviewing, though! And for the enormous compliment that was your opening statement. Thank you!
I was intrigued by your post in "First Lines" (and by the way, it was a pun =D) and I decided to take a look at this. I er... Well, funny is kind of an understatement. How the bloody hell was this accepted into the archive? Lol, I didn't think spoofs were allowed.
Well, tis not too long a reveiw but I want to move on to teh next chapter. Oh, and E-Crucios... lmao. Give prettynpureblood a hello for me, won't you :p
Author's Response: Ooh, wow! Did you really like this? It was accepted before the mods made that rule... in fact, I think they made that rule because of this, sadly.
Wow, 'mazing story. The way Harry and Draco interact is so subtle, but still gets the point across. I'm glad that you don't get to graphic; they're few sexual HP fics I can read without being completely disgusted or forgetting the main story. (Not just slash... the characters just aren't adults to me :P)
I think that although most characters were realistic, Remus was definatley the best characterized. He had few lines, but I could honestly see him acting that way. Upon finding the fandom of Harry Potter, I think I've come to imagine him as gay too, so the way you slid that in the story was brilliant. I think I'm going to check out Severley Moonstruck.
I hope that this isn't the end, although it would be a good ending. The only critical thing I would point out though, is that I doubt Harry or Draco would've been so willing to get 'personal' in the Ministry; especially with the possibility of someone coming along to clear out his cell, and looking through the window.
Other than that I honestly loved this fic, and I can't wait to read the next installment.
Author's Response: It\'s not over, no. I haven\'t heard from my beta in a while, though, which is why I haven\'t updated. I have two more chapters written.
I really like writing Remus, which is probably why his characterisation turns out so well. I think he\'s become my new favourite character. :) Somehow I can relate to him much better than to any of the others.
Yes! Do read Severely Moonstruck! I actually like that one better than this one... More fun to write. I think I\'m growing a little bored with Harry/Draco... It\'s ben my OTP since I started reading fanfiction when I was fourteen. I guess I just feel like it\'s time to move on.
I\'m glad you liked it, though. Thank you so much for your review!
He didn't save them? Shame...
I'll leave an actuall reveiw once I can stop reading. May be the end of the story, as it usually turns out.
So, you've accomplished making me cry, something that's happening more often these days. Silly FF authors and their way with words...
What was truly amazing about this story was how you switched POV so swiftly and smoothly that I understood every word of it without having to reread. James's characterization shone clearly and beautifully, as did Sirius's toast. It was beautiful and heartbreakingly sad. Yet... so happy and joyful at the same time. You've balanced everything so wonderfully.
I wonder... will young Harry ever be born? I beg of you to write a sequel about Lily getting pregnant and having the baby. To see how you see her emotions of dealing with having a baby would be... Well, I'd love to read it.
It was a beautiful story, definately deserving a spot in teh favorites.
Author's Response: Thank you! I may write a continuance. I never really thought about it, but anything is possible!
Wow, this is brilliant. Your writing style is amazing; I love how you characterize Tessa so well. I can't wait untill you have the rest up! From the summary on the forums, this is going to be an awesome story, and from what I've read here it's probably going to be alot more meaningful than I had though.
I can't wait to see what's happened to Ron, Harry, and Ginny and the other character you mentioned. This is really wonderful!
Author's Response: I\'m glad to know that putting the link on the forums really got this story noticed. Thanks for reviewing :)
First of all, you've completely baffled me by making me enjoy romance. I don't know how you did it, but you did, and here I am, unable to wipe the smile off my face from the ending of this story. It's so… Lily and James. I mean, we don't know much about them, but I think you've really caught a moment in time that could totally be passed off as canon. The idea of an annual February 14th prank is completely believable, but more than that, undeniably adorable.
The way Lily acted at the beginning of the story plastered a smile on my face with super-glue. Right off the bat you pull the reader in with the mystery of the coming prank, the anxiety of Lily, the complete unawareness of James—it all flowed together so well, and there wasn't a single boring passage. I especially liked the exchange between James and Sirius'—totally canonical, and more so just amusing. :D Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that you built up the suspense very well.
And it built and it built and it built and them… no bam. :p But the little BAM more than sufficed for my reading pleasure. :D
I don't know what else I can say other than I loved reading this (although I hate admitting it :D The closet fluff-lover is coming out…). Now if only I could quit smiling…
Author's Response: Yay! I converted someone! ;) Hee. I'm very glad you enjoyed it, dear. This fic is terribly old now, and I'm not fond of the writing much at all - but to get such lovely praise for it just warms my heart. Thank you so much, my darling Ari!
Excellent story. I haven't been able to find one, out of the hundreds here on MNFF, that begins directly after the Battle of Hogwarts.
I must admit that I don't see Harry actually saying any final words, but your dialog was beautiful. Draco's as well.
It was short and sweet, and very well written.
Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Sincerely touching story. It gives a wonderful insight into Narcissa Malfoy's thoughts, and shows a much better side of her than portrayed in canon.
I have to admit that the begining- in the forest- is a bit confusing. I had to re-read it a few times before I figured out who died. Other than that the duel is very well written, and the last two sentences are wonderful.
I am curious as to who the killer is. I'm thinking it's Lucius... he might go as far as killing his own son, for severing ties with Harry Potter. You give a good mystery with that, and mentioning that Lucius had come in late.
Ending it with the letter was a good end, but I would've liked to read how Narcissa reacted. It's obvious of course, but I was rather enjoying the story :)
I think that for the first story in a while, it's brilliant.
Firstly, I have to say that this is a wonderful story and really captivates the readers. I thought at first, that R/S would be one of the main points of the story, or that there would be some kind of redemtion between them. I was fantasticaly wrong - the depth went much further than that.
You portray Remus' anger and depression in such a perfect balance. It's not often that I find a story which has that balance - one is usualy overdone, while the other is ignored.
Furthermore, I love the suspence that you created with Remus and his suicidal thoughts. I thought he had done it, honestly, and that it was going to lead to a Severus pity party. Again, I was wrong, and what happened was much better than what I had thought.
Yet, he knew there would be more. It was a war. Death was inevitable.
I loved this line, and how you describe the inevitability of death all throughout the story. There aren't any distracting plot points or anything of that nature - even the scene between R/S does not distract from what I perceived as the main point of the story.
I love this story! I will definiately be looking up more from you!
Author's Response: Wow!! Thank you for the great review! (I will also apologize for the massive delay in responding. Life apparently desired to throw in roadblocks at the most inopportune moments, it appears.) R/S is a relatively new pairing for me. Remus has been a favorite of mine for a number of years, while that snarky potions master has only recently snuck into my writing. There\'s lots more to write - my WIP\'s list seems to grow faster than the general \"to be done\" list! I\'m glad that there was much you enjoyed - the suspense and inevitability of death, the balance of anger and depression, the depth. Those were all attributes that I was trying to get across in the power of words. Thanks again!
Absolutely adorable. The rhythm and flow were consistent but not repeating, which is always refreshing to read in poetry. I also think James' was characterized quite well, even though characterization doesn't have much of a chance to come through in poetry (ideas, thoughts, memories, but not really characterization).
A few suggestions:
Her wand made of willow - her robes, deepest black,
Instead of the dash, I think I semi colon would work much better here. The dash implies the second sentence is elaborating on the first, but, as it's not, the longer pause isn't really necessary. The semi colon would separate the two without completely separating them--as they're both about possessions--and it flows much better.
For she does not love me,
No she does not care,
The second line is really troubling, mainly because I can't describe in terms of meter why it reads awkwardly (I barely understand the mechanics myself). In layman's, the second line is comprised of shorter syllables than are punchy, making the line read quicker, but it's in a stanza with stressed syllables. So maybe rephrasing? (If you understand that at all-- I barely do >.>)
Other than those nitpicks, this was an adorable poem. :)