PLEASE DO NOT DELETE
I really love this story. It's really well written and entertaining. While reading it, it occured to me that by trying to fix the past the Wizengamot are actually risking changing it. In their current reality, Remus and Tonks never died, everybody just thought they did. It's just like when Teddy is viewing the past and sees the distortion and realizes that his saving his parents was what always had happened to them. They never died. If they send them back to be killed and they are, the reality will be that they were rescued by Teddy, sent back by the Wizengamot and then killed. What if one or both of them aren't killed? If in the present time of your story their past fate was that the were rescued by Teddy and everyone just thought they were dead, how can anyone in the Wizengamot know what will actually happen if they are sent back?
I'm sorry if what I just wrote is completely confusing. Time Travel can really give you a headache if you think about it too much!
Winner of the 2008 Quick Silver Quills Award for Best General Story.
The first book in the Alexandra Quick series.
The war against Voldemort never reached America, but all is not well there. When 11-year-old Alexandra Quick learns she is a witch, she is plunged into a world of prejudices, intrigue, and danger. Who wants Alexandra dead, and why?
This story is canon-compliant with the Harry Potter universe, but the characters and settings are all original. I've put a lot of work into envisioning a world as detailed as the original series; I hope you enjoy it.
I'm with Alex in thinking there is something suspicious about the Dean. Just why was she the one to visit Alex at home, when she apparantly never does that? Maybe she has a personal connection to Alex. I also think it was very irresponsible of her to punish them with the whole transfigure into rats punishment. McGonagall would never have done it ( remember when she laid into Moody in GoF for turning Malfoy into a ferret). Lots of bad accidents could happen to them as rats, and almost did! Of course maybe that's what she hoped would happen.
Or this could all be a Snapesque red herring obscuring the identity of the real culprit. I don't think it's all just Alex's imagination, though, and I do think the Dean knows more than she's letting on. Anyway, thanks for another great chapter!
I just have to say that the details in this story continue to amaze me! I find myself getting more into your story the more I read. I can't wait to find out if someone is trying to kill Alex or not. I think the fact that there were dangerous magical creatures in the pond near her house seems pretty suspicious in retrospect, since we now know that they are rare in North America. Are we going to find out more about her father anytime soon? I can't wait to see what's coming next, although I'm a little concerned about the upcoming scene with Dean Grimm ( I still haven't made up my mind about her).
I really hope you continue Alex's story because the political situation you've set up is very interesting. Hucksteen seems like a dictatorial creep and I can see why Abraham Thorn had a problem with the system, but his methods for sticking it to the Man make him seem just as bad. I get really angry at him for putting Alex in this position. He's not exactly the caring father figure, is he?
My biggest complaint about this chapter is that instead of wrapping things up in a satisfying way, you're making me want more! Great chapter!
Wow! I did not see that coming. It makes sense now that I think about it, because I have always thought that the Dean was a little too obvious, and we have seen more of Ben Journey than any of the other adults in the story. He also makes sense as the one who would have had the easiest time "arranging" Alex's accidents. He was the one who sent Alex and Larry Albo into the attic together with really confusing maps. He probably let Galen in, too.
I can't wait to find out what his motive is, and what's going to happen next (surely Anna will come out of this ok). I know Alex will feel totally guilty, but she couldn't have known something like that would happen. Getting caught and in trouble is one thing, having a lunatic groundskeeper take her best friend hostage is another.
This was the best chapter of the story (I've thought that about previous chapters, but then one better comes along). Honestly, you're a really good writer. Your imagery is great without being overdone, your characters are great and complex without being overdone, and you've pulled all these small things together very well.
I loved the fact that Thiel is still a total jerk even after we find out he's a WJD agent. Dean Grimm controlling him with " I'll tell them how you were overpowered by two 12 year olds " was excellent, and Alex totally copied it by her "you can stun me, but then you'll have to explain why you had to stun a 12 year old girl.
I can't help but wonder if Dean Grimm actually found out from Thiel that Alex left, or if she knew Ben would try to contact Alex and was lying in wait to follow her ( knowing she would get rid of Thiel and escape to rescue Anna). Whatever her reasons (and I think she would have been a Slytherin), this was the first chapter where I actually liked Dean Grimm. I've sometimes admired her, I've definitely hated her, but her pursuit of Alex and Ben and the fact that Alex's life was what was most important to her made me actually like her for the first time. The last part where they're both injured and Ms. Grimm strokes her hair in comfort has erased a lot of my negative feelings for the Dean.
I thought the scene with Anna crying and not being able to talk to Alex was really tough to read. Charlie rocks by the way.
I really don't like Abraham Thorn for putting his daughter in this position (just how is she supposed to remember something that she was entrusted when she was a few days old. Even if she can't it won't be for the lack of them trying?
I really hope you have more of Alex planned or at least thought of because I've really loved this story, and yeah I know we still have a couple more chapters to go, and there are still things to be explained, but I feel sad about the story being at an end. I really want to know what happens next.
I just want to say that I'm really enjoying the story so far. You've obviously put a lot of time into writing it. It's very well written and I can't wait to read more. I especially loved the descriptions of the candy and confections in the last chapter. I like the way you've put an American twist on the magical world with things like Goody Pruett and the Ozarkers.