I loved this! You are so good at one-shots, Terri, but then I have only read the one about Bill... Anyway, I love how you brought in Bathilda, and that Dumbledore had the cloak, everything fits so well.
*sniffles* it's so sad to read something like this that shows just how normal a family they were, before IT happened. But it was a really cute story.
Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely words. I am glad you enjoyed it. Yes, it is sad to think of what could have been, but, Harry wouldn\'t be the Harry we love without IT happening. Terri
Charity Burbage never considered herself a strong or brave person. That is until she met Jack. Jack gave her fire and soul. He encouraged her to stand up for what she believed in. But when a tragedy strikes, Charity’s world is turned upside down. Should she take the easy way out or continue to fight for what’s right?
I am MerryD, proud Hufflepuff.
Awww, Mere, this was really really good! It was a lovely insight into the mind of Charity, someone we never heard anything about, really. This was just well written all around, the emotions seemed spot on, and the part where she was looking at the cut and all was really eerie, I don't know if that's what you were going for, but it came out really well. Good job, and I can't wait to see more of your writing!
Author's Response: Eve! -tackles- This made me smile. I\'m really glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. -hugs- xo Mere
Oh, lovely writing, Tiff! I liked this very much, and not just because it's about one of my favorite characters! I think your portrayal of Cedric is quite realistic, any kid would be frustrated by Amos' bragging, and it's nice that you show a little darker side of Cedric here- the side that DOES get annoyed and all, instead of perfect!Cedric and all that.
I just had one little nitpick. I don't really know if Amos would have known that HP and HG were going to be at the Hill, he seemed pretty surprised to see them in GOF. But of course, that's a minor point, so don't worry about it, I just wanted to point it out cause it threw me off a little... :D
*squishes* Great story!
Hahaha, so funny. I can't wait either for Draco's reactions.
And Fey'sBook - that is brilliant, I laughed so hard when I saw that. Yay Facebook!
Author's Response: Good to see you enjoyed it!
About Fey'sBook, I first had Myspace over there... But all my betas said that isn't a good idea, so I took it out, and decided to put in a pun there instead.
Thanks for the review!
Lovely start, Terri! I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Eve, Thank you. I am submitting the second chapter today. So, more soon. Terri
This is absolutely fabulous!
The fact was, they were friends, and it really wasn’t important to the story why or how that came to be.
So true! I loved your little rant about how sometimes friends aren't explained because I have seen that so many times in fics.
When the rubble and bits of stone and cloud of dust cleared, a man in swooshy black robes, holding a long wooden staff, and wearing ram’s horns on his head emerged.
LOL. *with nasty pointy teeth*
>.> Anyway, good start, and I can't wait to see more. *clicks on next chapter* well that was easy!
Thank you for the splendid review! In this story, I not only parody myself, but also every thing in fanfiction that annoys me! I’ve seen too many fanfics where friendships and relationships are given no explanation at all, and I exploit that ruthlessly in the first and second chapter of the story!
Unfortunately, I don’t have nasty big pointy teeth, but I DO have a staff that shoots “hot flickery orange things!” You haven’t seen the last of Tim the Enchanter yet – have fun reading the second chapter, if you haven’t done so already!
Tim The Enchanter
I really liked this (as well as the other one- Don't Apologize). I think it shows a very realistic side of Andromeda Black, and I appreciate how you have her go through stages, almost, of developing feelings for Ted- given her background it is certainly not something that would have happened really quickly and in a cliche'd manner.
I also liked the character Elyza- she seems like a version of Severus Snape (with the dirty robes and being an outcast thing) and I think it works in this context, to provide some sort of contrast with Andromeda.
I also thought you did a lovely job weaving in those flashbacks, they flowed very naturally and went well with what was going on in real time- certain actions or thoughts spurring them and all.
Now, I did have one tiny bit of a problem- with Rabastan Lestrange. While you have him perfectly in character, I don't feel like he, being the person he is, would give Andromeda up so easily, especially if it was something their families had arranged. But in the case of your fic, I think it works well, it emphasizes the fact that Andromeda is completely distanced from everything she knew before. So all in all, a little OOC taken out of this context, but it works IN context. Does that make sense?
Anyway, great fic, and I certainly hope you write more Andromeda/Ted stuff- you really have them down! XD
Author's Response: Ooh, thank you Eve. I do agree with your point about Rabastan and think that he would certainly try harder to pursue her, but yes, I wrote it this way to fit the ending I wanted to achieve. I must have been in a happy-ending sort of mood that day, because normally I would have had it leave something unanswered, like Rabastan and whether or not he would have continued to harass her. So yeah, it must have been my mood that decided to have him move on from it. And yes, as I was writing Elyza, I immediately thought of Snape. I was worried that she was just a female version of him, so I tried to make her her own person. I have more Andromeda/Ted planned, too, perhaps a chaptered fic. Thank you so much for your review, dear. xox ~ Cassie
Well, I had written a long detailed review, and somehow I lost the entire thing when I pressed Submit. So here it goes again.
LOVELY job, Bine! This was beautifully written, and absolutely fascinating. I will certainly anticipate your series.
I had several nitpicks, but they're really not important.
And the part about Godric's son was so sad! I thought at first that Godric might be in love with Helga and consquently not celebrate the whole son thing, but then you put that line in there, and I was like WOW... it was really powerful, IMO. And so sad. Good job.
And wooot someone else whose read the Silmarillion!
Lovely story, and I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Aww. *hugs* But thanks for your lovely review, Eve. *is happyful* And every nitpick is helpful, so don't say they're not important.
But a question in return: Which line do you mean? PM me if you like. And yes, I read and LOVED the Silmarillion.
Also, the first chapter of the next fic in the Valara series is as good as finished. If you like, you'll find, in the meantime, some snippets of the coming story in my drabble thread in TTB as well as in my homework thread in the DADA class I'm taking (DADA First Years).
Well, since you asked, Bine, I shall attempt to remember the points I made in my original review.
First, the line I meant about Godric/Helga/baby thing was:
‘He died a mere fortnight after having seen the light of day.’
I originally thought that perhaps Godric was in love with Helga, and was not celebrating the fact that his wife bore him a son for that reason, but then BAM you had that line, and it really shocked me. But in a good way. :)
And now for those nitpicks:
Rowena said when the breeze has died once again.
I think it should be "the breeze had died" because otherwise you're switching tenses.
taking a break to anew their not-so-secretive passion?
Here, I think "renew" instead of "anew" would work better, because it sounds a little strange as is.
Jeremiyah of the clan of Smyth does have his share of fears. If he does, he does so with heart and soul
This line was a little confusing, I'm not sure what you meant, aside from the fact that Jeremiyah cares for Helga.
‘The flames did take his soul, did they not?’
Godric looked up to where Salazar still stood next to them all. ‘Yes,’ he simply mouthed.
I liked this- it emphasizes the strong bond between Salazar and Godric- after all they were the best of friends.
So, I shall definitely check out your drabble thread and as I said before, I think this is going to be really interesting- certainly an original spin on the Founders.
Author's Response: Thanks for remembering those nitpicky points, Eve. They definitely helped me, and I shall edit them as soon as possible. *hugs* And =D I'm happy you liked it and want to check out my drabble thread.
No one stole from Scorpius Malfoy unless he allowed it.
*A Scorpius/Rose Halloween story*
This was really good! I loved your characterization of Rose and Scorpius. I have read so many fics where Scorpius is completely different from his father, and it takes basically nothing at all for him to fall for Rose, so this is certainly an interesting take, making him more than a little similar to Draco. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?
He couldn’t say no. She might think he was trying to get on with her when he wasn’t, and wouldn’t, even if she was better-looking than most Weasleys, and had— “Blue eyes,” he said. “Your eyes are blue, not brown.” He had never been close enough to see the colour.
Oh, denial. Someone's got a crush, I think! Nice touch- there seems to be little undercurrents of something under Scorpius's unreadable personality.
I also liked how you kept the whole pumpkin thing under wraps until the middle, it added to the mystery and suspense of the story.
The goodwill of housemates and evasion of detention were added benefits.
Oh, sneaky! He's rather like Hermione, no? Except that Hermione's actions estranged herself from the houseelves and Scorpius' system seems to be working.
He would carve Voldemort.
LOL that would be scary, I"m sure.
He said, “Doesn’t it get old pretending you’re not smart? Aren’t you tired of being treated like you’re—”
“My father? No. I prefer to be underestimated.”
So did Scorpius, as a rule.
I thought these lines were very effective. The idea of Goyle pretending to be stupid is interesting, you'd think that after all that happened, the kids of those people would want to try and distance themselves from their parents as much as possible.
Anyway, great job with this, and I certainly can't wait until December for your new fic!
He might like to think he's totally different than his parents (don't we all, lol) but there's more of Draco (and Lucius!) in Scorpius than he believes.
The title gave it away, but I tried to build up to it, so thank you for saying that!
Both Scorpius and Rose will be in denial about their attraction. It'll be fun--loads of tension, heh.
Edgar and Scorpius see eye-to-eye on most things, but where Scorpius wants to be a different breed of Malfoy, Edgar doesn't care if people think he's just like dear old dad. He uses it to his advantage, cunning Slytherin that he is. :)
Thank you so much for looking forward to the new story!
Ok, I have to admit - I'm rather possessive of Cedric cause of my current fic, and your fluffy heaven turned me off a bit at first, but this chapter just... wow. It was so good.
The description of Amos, all building up to that one line:
A single tear slid down his father’s cheek and Cedric lost it.
“Dad,” he cried, running across the room and wrapping his arms around his father.
Really excellent. I nearly lost it myself there.
The snow didn’t crunch beneath his feet. He couldn’t really explain why, but that made him sad. It just seemed like something else he’d lost.
Good line. Good way to bring details like snow on the ground and feelings like Cedric being sad into the story w/o directly stating them in a boring way.
So anyway- another reason this caught my eye, my entry to WS is the exact opposite! Amos' perspective. So it was nice to see this prompt from Cedric's viewpoint, very interesting for me especially. (Plus the fact that I've been writing about Ced for the past seven months) I love reading other people's Cedrics, if that makes sense. I hope mine is half as good as yours was. *hugs*
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to do something a little different for this prompt. My original idea was very lame, trust me. It actually involved Bella being locked in a Muggle mental institution. Thankfully, I then came up with an idea involving Sirius' ghost that then led to this. I'm inclined to say it was the best of my ideas...for sure.
So you're writing about Amos for Winter Snows. I think he has a pretty strong character. Although, I really only remember him from the movie. I really am going to have to force myself to re-read GOF.
Anyway, thanks so much for the review!
Fabulous job! I love the original song also, and this did work perfectly, which (I think) is hard to do with a parody. Lol poor old Lucius and Severus. Great job.
Carole this was amazing! Hahahhaa. Everything works so well, which is hard to do in a parody! My favorite line: "'Cause I've put Amortentia on my Christmas List..." Great job!
Author's Response: YAY! Evester, you're back. Thank you for the review. So far I think this song is proving the most popular thing I've written - lol. I'm glad you enjoyed it.