Penname: PadfootnPeeves [Contact]
Real name: Englebert Humperdink
Member Since: 11/05/07
Website: http://thepostscript.webs.com/
Beta-reader:
Status: Member
Bio:
"The thing about growing up with Fred and George, is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."

Hello! I'm Padfoot, or PnP if you're in a rush. I like Harry Potter. I write fanfiction. I read fanfiction. You read fanfiction. Read my fanfiction.

The website above is my friend Orii's. I've got a few poems up on there-- feel free to check them out :D

Random info for stalkerish stalkers:

Hogwarts House- Gryffindor

Fav. HP Book- Sorcerer's Stone

Fav. HP Characters- Sirius, the Marauders (which includes Sirius, of course, but he's my favorite so he gets special recognition), the Weasleys, Luna, Neville, Tonks, Hagrid, the Trio, and Lily. Funny how a bunch of my favorites end up dead, isn't it?

Fav. Ships- Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, James/Lily, Remus/Tonks, Neville/Luna

Fav. HP Movie- Sorcerer's Stone (gotta love consistency), Goblet of Fire

Fav. Fan Fic Authors- Schmerg_The_Impaler, Pussycat123, MagEd

Fav. Authors- J.K. Rowling, Harper Lee, Cornelia Funke, David Lubar, Ellen Raskin, Sarah Dessen, and many more

Stories:

A Weasley Christmas- first fic ever. Based off 'Twas the night before Christmas', only with a bunch of the lines changed so it pertains to Harry Potter.

A Letter For Fred- another poem. Rather sweet, from George to the recently-deceased Fred. I'm quite happy with how this one turned out.

The Trouble With Being Trusted- My very first Gauntlet, where a I wrote as Tonks. Includes younger versions of older characters, and the protaganist escaping death many times.

Who Killed the King?- My murder mystery WIP. I'm finally working on some more chapters, so hopefully they'll be up soon!

The Marauding Roses of Gryffindor- joint fic between me in a couple Gryffs. It was set up and put together by Michelle. And although I didn't win the date with Sirius, I got Remus instead, which is pretty awesome.

When Love Prevails- my second Gauntlet, co-written by the fabulous Brittany. Probably the weirdest James/Lily story you'll ever find. I wrote the wacky Lily ^_^

I hope to have more up soon, but feel free to drop a review for any of those!

My favorite HP quote of all time is as follows:

"--but you get these massive pus-filled boils too," said George, "and we haven't worked out how to get rid of them yet."
"I can't see any boils," said Ron, staring at the twins.
"No, well, you wouldn't," said Fred, "they're not in a place we generally display to the public --"
"-- but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the --"

Yes, I have barely any emotional depth. Why do you ask?

Other favorite Quotes:

"You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts...but you cannot deny he's got style..." (I liked it better when Kingsley said it in the movie. That was hilarious!)

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

"I'll join you when hell freezes over."

"Hello, Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"

Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love. By returning, you may ensure that fewer souls are maimed, fewer families are torn apart. If that seems to you a worthy goal, then we say good-bye for the present.

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

"Keep muttering and I will be a murderer!"

Oh, and don't forget Elvendork! It's unisex!

"And, quite honestly, I've had enough trouble for a lifetime"
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Reviews by PadfootnPeeves
 

Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick by MagEd
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 1510]

Summary: Past Featured Story2008 QSQ Awards Runner-up for Best Post-Hogwarts

Harry defeated Voldemort. Harry married Ginny. Harry and Ginny had five children. Harry disappeared. My name is Lily Potter, and this is the story of what happened when my father returned after six years missing to find my mother about to re-marry. This is the story of myself, my crazy family, and most of all, this is the story of my parents and the man who tried to come between them. (pre-Deathly Hallows)

*Completed*

"Oh, I can so die happy now!" -Sirius Potter

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 67532 Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/04/06 Updated: 05/01/07


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 06/24/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Uncle Ron Never Laughs

I dunno if you’re heard, but Daniel Radcliffe is going to star in All’s Quiet on the Western Front. I thought that was awesome, seeing how it’s Harry’s favorite book in this fic :]

Oh, and out of curiosity- what type of music do you listen to? You always have such great lyrics in your stories.

--Em

Author's Response: Ha, no, I hadn't heard that. That's fun! I wonder how he'll do starring in a role outside of Harry Potter, if he'll become like Harrison Ford of Star Wars, known by his actual name because he made himself famous from other movies, too, or like the actor who played Luke and everybody just remembers as Luke. Er, sorry for the ramble. Anyway, music -- I don't know. I'm not as huge a music fanatic as it would seem, I just like listening to something. I suppose you could categorize my interests broadly as "light rock," which would make both of my brothers, who attempted my entire childhood to invest me in classic rock, cringe. I suppose my favourite artists would be . . . Our Lady Peace, Guns 'n Roses, The Killers, Wakey!Wakey!, and Rob Thomas. But there are many, many songs I love that come from artists that I don't really love despite the fact that I love a particular song by them. :)

 

To Be Or Nott To Be by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 57]

Summary: Theodore Nott has never had much respect for anyone but himself. But after being summoned by Lord Voldemort to join the Death Eaters, his world turns upside down, and he finds himself questioning everything, including his own values and beliefs. Darkish, but with surprisingly light and fluffy bits, kind of like my Dad's pancakes or a truly hideous dress that my Mum once bought for me.

Written by Schmerg_The_Impaler from Hufflepuff House for the Gauntlet's 3rd run. Whoot!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6599 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/13/06 Updated: 11/16/06


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic

i think this story is very cute, with the Theo/November fluff but its still dark and scary... good job on this! i'd be proud of it too if it were mine *pouts*
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Oh, thanks! I rarely ever get reviews for this one. I like to combine cute and dark. As for it not being yours... wanna borow it? ^_^ We can share!

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic

i also wanted to add that i liked the part where you mention Aaron Carter... he is very horrible! (at least his voice is!)
~Padfoot
PS! aww thankie for sharing... sharing is caring! :)

Author's Response: Hahahahaha, AGREED. Aaron Carter is scary, but not as scary as the Jonas Brothers. (AAACK!)

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic

oh, is the song November has Theo sing ("I Feel Pretty") from West Side Story? I was forced to watch that in music class(yes i hated it... it was a tad depressing)
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Double post!

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic

oh, is the song November has Theo sing ("I Feel Pretty") from West Side Story? I was forced to watch that in music class(yes i hated it... it was a tad depressing)
~Padfoot

Author's Response: It is indeed from West Side Story. I actually really like West Side Story, but then, I like almost all musicals I\'ve seen because I am a dork. We did some West Side Story dances in my jazz class.

 

Meet the - Children? by Winged Artemis
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 244]

Summary: Lily Evans is a cheeky, brainy, hopeless romantic seventeen-year-old Head Girl with a sour temper. James Potter is an arrogant, hilarious, prank-pulling seventeen-year-old Head Boy with an immature head on his shoulders. Lily loathes James and James loves Lily. Blahblahblah.

However, when a mysterious locket and a very wacked Headmaster inform the two of them that their son is in grave danger, James, Lily, and of course, Sirius, are magically transported to the future to meet James and Lily's son and the state that the magical world is in.

A twist of mystery, fun, romance and some Sirius humor! And with a wee bit of J/L, H/G, and R/Hr!

WARNING: Tree climbing Dumbledores, valuable pieces of jewelry, and an ecess of sugar are contained inside - oh, and HBP is disregarded.

See profile for update information.

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 11269 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
11/15/06 Updated: 09/08/07


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - Early Morning

i like this story! very creative& funny! cant wait for next chappie!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Thanks a million! I really appreciate it!

 

"It Unscrews The Other Way" by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 112]

Summary: The line that probably best describes the legacy that the Weasley twins left behind after their Great Escape, during Umbridge’s brief rein at Hogwarts. Their legend lasted years afterwards ... but eventually, the only permanent physical reminder was the roped off corner of one corridor, containing a small part of swamp. The mystery of its origins is merely smiled at reminiscently by teachers, and the students can do nothing but spread rumours of how it came to be. When little Janey Weasley starts life at Hogwarts, the mystery is still unsolved. On a whim, and desperate for recognition, she writes home to her father, asking how it came to be. When Ron replies with the true story, a chain of events begins that might just be the making of the next true Hogwarts mischief legend ...

**One-Shot, Post Hogwarts** Now available as AudioFiction Episode #95!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 3302 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/07/06 Updated: 12/08/06


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/13/07 Title: Chapter 1: "It Unscrews The Other Way"

aaw, i love this story! tis very well written and quite phunny! 10/10
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m glad you enjoyed it!

 

Of Christmas Past by Chaser921
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 542]

Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny find themselves in a Muggle hotel in Godric's Hollow on the Winter Solstice. During an enthusiastic snowball fight, Harry and Ginny step through a stone circle that transports them seventeen years into the past. This may be the only chance Harry has to spend with his parents, and it may also be what he needs to figure out his relationship with Ginny.


The warning is for later chapters.



Edit: So, this was originally strictly a Harry/Ginny fic, but Ron and Hermione kept trying to get together too, so I felt like I had to change the category. And there's a bit of Lily/James in there too, though they're already married, and I've also added a bit of Remus/Tonks. Poor Sirius is the only Singleton (though he may manage to get a girl of his own)!


Edit: This story was cannon until after Deathly Hallows came out, so I changed it to Alternate Universe, but it's still pretty close to cannon. Only a few things will end up being different when the story ends.



Edit: I've changed all of the chapter titles to the titles of Christmas songs that I felt reflected the events in the chapters best. Tell me what you think! Does it fit?

Categories: Various Pairings Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations

Word count: 63021 Chapters: 20 Completed: No
Published:
01/02/07 Updated: 01/15/12


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 12/01/07 Title: Chapter 10: O Come, All Ye Faithful

Cute story! I can't wait to see where you're going with this! Can't wait for the next chappie!
~Padfoot

 

Everybody Loves Janey Weasley by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 51]

Summary: Third one-shot in the Janey Weasley series.

We skip ahead to her fifth year, although this particular saga is told through the eyes of ordinary, Quidditch Captain, Hufflepuff boy, Frankie, as he realises that even though everybody loves Janey Weasley ... he might just love her a little bit more. What’s a young, Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain to do? Ask the people close to her for advice? Ask his team mates for advice? Do something bold and daring for the first time in his life? ALL of the above? I guess you’ll have to read and find out, won’t you?



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 3928 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/13/07 Updated: 02/21/07


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/13/07 Title: Chapter 1: Everybody Loves Janey Weasley

i love Annie! she's, like, so weird... lol... love the JW series!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: And the JW series loves you!

 

The Muggle and the Horcrux by Buckbeak22
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 37]

Summary: Lauren has always been Hermione's best girlfriend, but she is a Muggle. She plays the cello. How can that help Harry, Ron and Hermione in their quest to find the Horcruxes? O/C plus R/Hr and H/G

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 32071 Chapters: 8 Completed: No
Published:
03/04/07 Updated: 11/29/07


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/20/07 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7: Moving House

ohhh, veryy interesting! poor Lauren- will she like Neville? that would be cute! cant wait for the next chappie!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Who wouldn\'t like Neville? But Lauren does have another interest... Thanks for your review PadfootnPeeves.

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/29/07 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: Visiting The Strangers

Oh no! Ben's probably home, isn't he? That's my guess, anyways. This was an exciting chapter! Can't wait for the next!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Or maybe it is just Harry and Hermione? You will have to read the next chapter to find out. I am not often too evil, but I do enjoy it sometimes! Buckbeak22

 

Being Janey Weasley by Pussycat123
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 53]

Summary: Fourth in the Janey Weasley series – oh no, it’s not over yet!

I’m Janey Weasley, and this little one shot is from MY perspective – lucky you! I’m nearing my twenty-first birthday, and there’s lots going on. Job interviews, family gatherings, along with lots of other matters of interest. Read on, and you’ll find out exactly what’s been going on since the last look in you got on my life! It’ll be amusing for you, I’m sure – it always is when you’ve a loopy family, barmy friends and boyfriend and ... well, mostly just the bit about having a loopy family. Welcome to my world!



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 3630 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/08/07 Updated: 03/14/07


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/13/07 Title: Chapter 1: Being Janey Weasley

Janey is a wondertastic OC... and i love her relationship w/ the twins... love it!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Hee hee ... poor twins. *pats Fred and George*

 

Holly by A_Pink_lady
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 179]

Summary: Voldemort's gone....but the Death Eaters aren’t. Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny’s lives are completely changed when a mysterious girl appears, claiming to be from the future. But is she really who she says she is? And what has happened in the future that so desperately needs to be changed?

6 years post HBP

H/G and R/Hr

(DH spoilers are very minimal, just in terms of a use of a name- it doesnt follow canon storyline wise)

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 58718 Chapters: 15 Completed: No
Published:
03/21/07 Updated: 08/25/09


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/21/07 Title: Chapter 10: Bonding and Proposals

aww... they're getting married! cute chapter... can't wait for the next!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: I thought i needed to write bit of fluff at one point...Im glad you liked this chapter..i will update soon :)

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 08/21/08 Title: Chapter 14: Carrying On

It's been a loooong time since this has been updated... I've missed this story! I love the Harry/Ginny- it seemed perfect. The Ron/Hermione was cute as well. And who can forget Holly? She wasn't really in this chapter till the end, but she was portrayed as nicely as always. Good job, and I hope the next updates are faster! (No pressure; I just want to find out what happens!)
~PnP

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 12/25/07 Title: Chapter 11: "We're Engaged!"

Poor Ginny! Great chapter though! A nitpick- you wrote you can 'here' the twins before you see them, instead of 'hear'
Merry Christmas! (or whatever else...)
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Yeah, poor Ginny! I dont know why i like doing this to my characters! Thanks for the correction, i\'ll go back over it now. Thank you for reviewing and Merry Xmas!

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 06/04/08 Title: Chapter 13: A Stubborn Little Witch

Aww, it's so sad. I can't wait to read the rest of Holly's story... will her 'secrets' be in the next chapter or so? Pretty please? ^_^

Great chapter- you're very good at romance and sadness at the same time. I wonder what Hermione is piecing together- I'm terrible at waiting!

~PnP

Author's Response: Thank you! I cant promise that all of Holly\'s secrets will be revealed in the next chapter, but I\'m going to start skipping through time a bit soon, so things will begin to happen... sorry for such a long wait, but i have had the scene planned out for so long and its got to happen at a certain time... sorry!! Thank you so much for reviewing! :D

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 01/23/08 Title: Chapter 12: Cheesy Puffs and Chocolate Cake

Haha, the last part cheered it up. You're being modest- it was a good chapter. Not my favorite, but it was still a nice read. I hope we find more about Holly soon!
~Padfoot

Author's Response: Im glad that the last part of the chapter didnt scare you too much! Thank you so much for reviewing!

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 11/06/07 Title: Chapter 9: A Red Head's Wrath

aaw, i like this story! i wanna know who holly is, though... but that would spoil the plot... i think its cute with the shipiness & its also mysterious... cant wait 4 the next chappie!

Author's Response: I have everything planned out about Holly, a surprisingly (for me) detailed history of her past... I am a very shippy person so expect a lot of shippyness in the future (tho i cant always guarantee fluff) Im glad you like my story and expect an update quite soon! Thanks for the review!

 

Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)

Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.

With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.

Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.

If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.

This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!

Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)


EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4020 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
03/25/07 Updated: 04/30/07


Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 02/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Not A Loyal Slave In The World

I never reviewed this little baby. Doesn't matter, 'course, cuz you're gonna update it the day Voldemort humor fics become a thing of the past and everyone stops trying to be as funny as you.

ANYWAYS,

Lying in a filthy Muggle hospital on a cot thats as lumpy as Nagini after eating a few door-to-door salesmen, thats where.

That's why there are so little door-to-door salesmen in the world these days.

My favorite line was, My roommate is a hapless oaf who broke his leg tripping over a molehill, and let me tell you, hes making a mountain out of it, constantly whining and blubbering and demanding tax refunds., particularly the part about the mountain.

Wormtail didn't review? My, my, he seems to be slacking in the faithful servant occupation, doesn't he?

PADFOOT!

Author's Response: Hooray, hooray, Padfoot revYOUUUU-d! Actually, I\'ll update the day Voldemort humour fics become a thing of the past and everyone stops being WAY FUNNIER THAN ME. I lost the desire to write more Voldemortitude when I realized how many far funnier stories in the same vein were being posted all the time.

I\'m glad you liked the mountain-molehill thing... I kind of got the idea from a certain passage of the Series of Unfortunate Events books. Man, I used to love those up until the 12th and 13th, which I did not like.

Wormtail didn\'t review because he was only a faithful servant as long as Voldemort was in power. Now that Vold\'s defeated, he doesn\'t even care. Fickle little dirtbag.

 
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves Signed
Date: 02/17/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Enter The OC. Dramatically.

I'm BAAA-ACK!!! Didja miss me? I'm sure Smolderin' Volders did.

His eyes were a stunning shade of yellow-amber that was strongly reminiscent of the colour of my shed after my septic tank exploded onto it

You're lucky I wasn't drinking anything then; I snorted, and chocolate milk among most beverages looks nasty coming out of your nostrils.

I love Mungo. He's so perfectly annoying.

He, apparently a bearer of numerous incredible gifts like most OCs, must have been a Parselmouth

Hypocrite police! Jordan speaks Parseltoungue, and he's an OC! But we won't hold that against you, particularly because we'll forget soon after... :)

Sooooo... I'm not going to waste my breath, telling you to update, since you obviously have set your mind to the fact that no matter how any Bambi-eyes and puppy-pouts you get, you're not updating. So I'll save a rant to the irritating Voldemort humor writers who have stopped you from updating.

Author's Response: HALLOOOOO! I can\'t say I missed you all THAT much because I\'m replying to this review thirty seconds before your previous ones, but you know what I meaaaaan.

Urrrrghhh... nostril milk, ick. I am glad you like Mungo\'s awfulness. I think it\'s absolutely hilarious and kinda awesome that someone nominated him for Best OC when he\'s really an example of worst OC.

Hehehe, I\'m not so much a hypocrite as making fun of myself. I actually wrote the first two Potter\'s Pentagon stories before writing this one, and I was parody-ing OC\'s, both by me and other people. (Though Jordan is in fact the son of a Parselmouth, and I thought that the gift was hereditary... I did not know at the time of writing it that Voldy gave the gift to Harry.)

Oh, please don\'t rant at the Voldemort writers. They\'re all REAAAALLLLY good.

 
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