A Gryffindor in the MNFF forum. I'm coming back from a long hiatus from fan fiction writing - I'm slowly but surely getting my writing fingers back into shape.
Extremely funny :) The use of italics to separate the monogue is a unique way to segregate each character. Great use of a bit of exageration and point blank truth to get your humour across. I truly enjoyed this
Author's Response: thanks for the kind words...i'm glad you enjoyed it =)
Good Poem. You can feel the tension as they set out to fight Voldemort ^_^
Author's Response: I feel the tension! I do! Thanks for reviewing!
Haunting and it tells the past events well and blends what is to come. Great Poem!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
I'm a firm believer that poetry can be more powerful than prose. Thank you for showing that. I love how you were able to let us 'see' the scene and 'feel' Harry's loss in this work of yours.
Although if you haven't mentioned in your summary that this is about Luna. I wouldn't have figured it out. I'd suggest a line or two that would pertain to Luna like that bottle cap necklace or that ever dreamy smile...
I hope to see more of your poems posted. ^_^
Author's Response: :D Thanks a lot for the tip, I'll really try to be careful about this kinda stuff if I write any more stories. Again, thanks! :)
I truly love the twins in this story. Strange how people don't say what they really meant and when they do it'll results to chaos with comedic proportions.
Am highly entertained by this fic. Fine example that truths can be funny :)
You captured the the characterization of the Weasley Twins perfectly. The prank is something they'd actually pull. It's extremely funny but there's no OOCness due to the circumstance. A highly entertaining fic :)
“I killed Regulus Black.” That simple admission was jaw-dropping - it's so simple but it carries so much weight. and the way Snape sneered at the memory ... well all I can say that it's very in-character for him to do this despite his remorse :)
I like the symbolic use of the ravens as well as all the imagery that went with it when she held the key.
I like the way you depicted Bill playful and confident. The way you described Fleur’s room … I can just imagine her having that sort of room and it indirectly shows how much different it is with the Weasley household. It’s no wonder Molly Weasley couldn’t immediately relate to Fleur and try to set Bill up with someone else who would likely fit in more with their family’s culture.
This is an entirely sweet piece showing the love between Fleur and Bill. How they relate with one another. You truly showed how this somehow fit with one another. Sweet piece of writing!
I love how to dug deeply intheir psyche. Especially Snape's. To tell you the truth, your version sounds more believable than the theory that Dumbledore asked him to do it. You managed to make him not entirely evil / redeemable but not malign Dumbledore's character (I don't believe he'd be so heartless as to ask Snape to kill.) ^_^
Author's Response: Coming from one of my favorite authors of fan fiction, your words are especially appreciated! And, I'm with you: it would have been such a cruel thing for DD to ask, really ooc for someone who values love and redemtion so highly. Thanks for reviewing!
There's hardly any story about Pomfrey. Am glad you've decided to do one.
I especially like how she keeps thinking of the danger Dumbledore's ideas would have for the other students. That disappoval for danger and concern for students is just so Pomfrey.
Author's Response: *dances* Yay for characterization!
I like her motive for being a nurse. Its so sad as well. You were also able to portray her warmth towards the students through her dialogue with Remus well ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks, Miel, for your review.
This poem captures Hermione so well. I can totally imagine her using a number chart to figure out her feelings for a certain someone ^_^ I like how your were able to use simple words but send a clear message on Hermione's thoughts and emotions. I can imagine her poring over the charts and shrieking for joy over her results. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you Miel! I loved getting your feedback and I\'m glad that you thought my characterization of Hermione was good.
It's so dramatic and emotional especially due to those little flashbacks. I like how she keeps quiet and not berate her sister and instead subtly show her concern. It's alarming -- anorexia and you showed it clearly in this story.
The little details you use like the rice and curry does help to emphasise their Indian heritage and add a bit more realism to all this.
It's great that you used Pavarti's POV so that we see it in the way a loved one sees the problem and their helplessness in all this. I guess this is what makes it so sad ... to see the problem plainly to see it slowly destroy your twins and not be able to do anything ... You know you want to help your sister but knowing that you can't - you sought an escape ... thus her want for Lavender's company.
Wonderful and realistic Lian!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Miel! I\'m glad the details worked for you. This story is purposefully barren of description, so it was sort of difficult to decide what descriptions to use.
I love the way you depicted Narcissa; the prim, proper and aloof high society lady so well.
This story does explain as to why Snape agreed to help Narcissa when she pleaded for him to watch over Draco.
Such a sad and doomed romance. Poignant how both of them are willing to sacrifice / let go of it for their ambitions.
Author's Response: Thanks, Nutty! You understand exactly what I was trying to convey: the motivations that gave us "Spinner's End." Sad and doomed express it so well...but not in the way of Romeo and Juliet. (I always think of Shakespeare now when I think of the nutty imp :)!) As your comment suggests, their sacrifice is quite the opposite of that famous pair! Or maybe not.... Maybe each of them thinks he or she is sacrificing his or her own happiness for the ambitions of the other. The lack of communication prevents them from ever knowing what the other really feels or wants. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing!
A sweet piece. I especially like your attention to details.
My favourate part was the house elves. They incorporate a bit of humour to this piece and were very in character. *lol* Kreacher's Moldy bread -- like like Kreacher to do that.
I also like that you included Cho and showed her in an admirable light -- it sort of better showed that Harry is over her.
Keep on writing!
Author's Response: Thanks!
There are very few stories written about Regulus. I'm glad to have stumbled across this one. I like your portrayal of him. You can easily tell that he and Sirius are indeed brothers, but despite the similarities there are tell-tale differences that set them at worlds apart. Sirius is a Gryffindor thus brave enough to defy his parents openly ... something Regulus would never do ... I'd love to see how this story would progress.
Author's Response: I'm of the opinion that Sirius and Regulus were not always at each others throats, and in many respects that Regulus aspires to be like his brother, but at the same time hopes to impress his parents and come out at the top end of society. There are many underlying aspects that I think Regulus doesn't dare defy, I would say he's a coward, but I think thats the wrong word - I think he's afraid to lose what he loves the most but will take the easiest option available to achieve that. I'm really glad you liked it! Thank you!
I love this ... an in-depth look in Draco psych. How Moaning Myrtle was more of a friend to him that the rest of his entourage... The final scene where Snape took care of the deed for him and he refered to Snape as a friend .. I do like that ... but, I wished it was elaborated/dramatized a bit more. Overall a great entry! Best of luck to you. ^_^
A rather intriguing start. I like how you depicted Ginny's character. The ending leaves you wondering what'll happen next.
Author's Response: Thank you, it was rather hard to do her character, because we don't know a whole lot about her,but I'm glad that you like it, chapter two is done, I just want several more reveiws before I post it. :)
*lol* A god who likes to play pranks ^_^ even Fred and George can't keep up with the guy. This is a great entry. Best of Luck ^_^
~ ~ ~”Sirius…” Sirius blinks. He cranes his neck to look behind him.
A shiver runs up his spine as if a cold, dead finger is stroking it
"Who’s there?!” he calls out to the voice, spinning clockwise to try and catch a glimpse of whatever it is.
Nice Imagery! ^_^ It's unusual to read a story that's not written in past tense ... using present tense does gives the story a more 'currently happening' sort of feel. It's a very unique idea on what happens on the afterlife. "Tears of a Shadow" does seem fitting title to describe those smoky things as well as the sadness experienced by the souls there (e.g. Lily) who knows not the happenings in the physical realm.
Just a few typo correction: ”Stop!(") ; ”Sirius… (") ; her heals clicking (heels) ; Lily has just pained over what we cannot know (this got me confused ... maybe "was pained over the things we cannot know'?)
Good luck for this entry. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you so much for all of your help! Hopefully I have edited all of the typos. I don't know what's been wrong with my computer, but it keeps skipping quotation marks.. go figure. Thanks again so much!