Okay, from one over 25 male to another....that was a really powerfull start. I too hate songfics but you pulled it off nicely.
You have my attention...on to your next...
Author's Response: Thank you kindly. You got a ways to go, but I think it\'s worth it. At least for other people because other people seem to enjoy it, I can\'t stand a good bit of it, but there you go. Seriously, thank you, and look forward to hearing from you in the future.
Excellent first chapter. You do well to speed us through the epilogue without giving us a play by play of everything that happened. You have Harry and Ginny down pretty well, but I think you may have missed something in the way they communicate. Personally, I often forget my g/f's name is not baby, or sweetheart, and saying Jill often seems so laboured. Consider some pet names, instead 'Harry' and 'Ginny.' Excellent first chapter. Very believable Harry issues.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. I appreciate your praise and critique very much. As for the \"communication\" issues, I\'m trying to stick as close to canon as possible. Since we didn\'t really see the use of a lot of pet names in the series, I\'ve chosen not to use them here. If I was writing about a Muggle family, I probably would use names like you suggest, but the wizarding world seems a little less inclined to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Anyway, I\'m glad you\'re enjoying it and thanks again for your thoughtful comments.
Another great chapter. I love watching the trio interact post-hogwarts. Your story seemed so amazingly canon (both epilogue and other JKR releases) I was ready to scold you for not having Ron be an Auror. But you fixed that. All we know is at the 19 years later part, Ron is an Auror who spent time in the joke shop. Well done, I was starting to get ticked.
Excellent work on the Ron-Harry developements. It was different, them having a falling out of sorts, but well written. On to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Your comments are so thoughtful. I find reviews like this incredibly motivating. I am trying to keep this story canon, both in terms of the books and post-DH interviews. Actually, the Epilogue didn\'t really indicate what any of the characters did for a living, but in a U.S. interview just a few days after the release, Jo said that Harry & Ron \"revoloutionized the Auror Department\" (that\'s a direct quote). Then, a few days later, in an online chat, she said Ron turned WWW into a real money spinner with George. I solved the conflict as you see in this chapter, mostly because I wanted Ron to emerge from Harry\'s shadow. Also, Ron always wanted to make a lot of money and, let\'s sface it, civil servants (i.e., Ministry employees) just don\'t amass fortunes. Unless they\'re on the take, of course, and I certainly couldn\'t do THAT to our Ron! lol. Anyway, thanks again for your wonderful review.
Ah at last a plot filled chapter. I really enjoyed watching the lives of everyone but this was an excellent time to get to it.
You are repeating the phrase "the famous Harry Potter," quite a bit.
Also "I can image," should be "I can imagine," durng the conversation with Teddy.
THis is getting good! On to next.
Author's Response: Wow! You really do read closely. Thanks for the correction on the image-imagine thing. I\'m surprised the mods didn\'t catch that, they\'re usually so careful. I\'m glad you\'re involved in the story. Keep reading.
The sex at the end seemed a bit out of place, but aside from that it was a really good chapter.
I am beginning to wonder how Harry and Ginny have remained married for so long with harry carry so much of a life burden on his shoulders. It doesn't seem like she would take this kind of a relationship. Its the one thing in your piece I am having a hard time getting past, especially after however many eons they have been married. It seems like she would have smacked this out of him long ago. But that's just me.
Author's Response: Your observation about the \"sex at the end\" was interesting, especially as I see from your profile that you are male. Female readers seemed to pick up on my intention which was that this was a coming together for the purpose of expressing love and comfort, but your point of view certainly adds a new dimension. Harry has always been a fairly burdened, but if you\'ll think back to Chapter One, Ginny indicates that it\'s only been this bad for about a year, since Harry was promoted and so many problems develop within the department. I think she is trying to \"smack\" it out of him, but the Letter from Hogwarts (symbolizing that the kiddies are growing up) and the danger they\'re in demonstrate to Harry just how important his family is to him. I really love your reviews, they give me so much to think about!
This is developing nicely, it really it. Your story is thick and sound, and quite complex. Please let me know when a new chapter is ready!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your comments. Keep checking for updates. I should have a new chapter up in the next day or two.