Penname: Morkhan [Contact]
Real name: Steven Carroll
Member Since: 10/06/07
Beta-reader: 1
Status: Member
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Reviews by Morkhan

Splat, Split, Splinch by Nundu
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: What happens when two wizards Apparate to the same place at the same time?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2346 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/07/04 Updated: 11/07/04

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: Splat, Split, Splinch

Like many others, I'm a fan of humor stories that could actually happen in the Potterverse. I just don't like the ones that are needlessly random and feature everyone being horribly OOC for no reason. This was quite well written, and I loved it.


The Talk(s) by smokeline
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 85]

Summary: After walking in on a snog-session between Ron and Hermione, the Weasley family takes it upon themselves to inform them about the birds and the bees. One-shot.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3742 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/07/04 Updated: 11/07/04

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Talk(s)

*explodes into uncontrollable laughing fits*

You are beyond brilliant. Oh, how I love the Weasleys....


The Parcel at the End of the Bed by Leora V
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: Ron awakes on the morning of birthday to unwrap a frightening present. He has his own ideas as to who is behind this sick joke, but who really planted the parcel at the end of his bed?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2317 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
11/08/04 Updated: 11/08/04

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Story

LMAO. Cheerful toy spiders > Ron. I loved this.


Summary: Trains, crazy old janitors, Fred and George mooning someone, this fic has it all. With Wizards all around them, Muggles are bound to see something weird everyonce in a while. This short story is taken from the beginning of Goblet of Fire.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2920 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
12/01/04 Updated: 12/01/04

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Waiting for Jovie

XDXD Fred and George = funtimes.

And I've always wondered about that. You can't have dozens of wizards walking through a wall in the middle of a crowded train station without SOMEONE noticing. i guess they just all think they're hallucinating.


Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny invent a new name for Lord Voldemort. He doesn't care for it, though, so he comes up with a new identity of his own. (One-shot)

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4597 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
03/08/05 Updated: 03/08/05

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: What's In A Name?

YES, YES, OH GOD YES. This is FANTASTIC. It's completely and utterly hilarious, without being needlessly random or out of character. You, sir or madam, win the universe for this fic.


Summary: What's it like being shipped every which way in the wizarding world? The ladies dish the dirt, the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2957 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
04/22/05 Updated: 04/22/05

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: What's a Fandom Girl to Do?

L. O. L.

I usually hate fourth-wall-breaking fics, but this one was just so well done, I couldn't help but love it. Kudos to you. The shipping wars will never die!


Summary: Warthogs is the reverse of Hogwarts. Everybody's personality is the contrary to in the books. It is a "humour fic" (If I even dare call myself funny) that tells the tale of the Final Battle. I wrote this because I was sick of writing depressing stories about unrequited love and death. It makes a light change to the rest of my collection.

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 3723 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/16/05 Updated: 10/16/05

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot


That was... just... whoa.

Are you sure you weren't under the influence of Frivolous Flurp when you wrote that? Because... seriously. That? Was a trip.

I commend you for writing the wackiest HP fanfic I've ever read. I quite liked it.


Summary: A mini-adventure within Harry's 5th year. A bizarre yet devastating magical weapon is unleashed upon Hogwarts. Many double entendres, but ultimately innocent fun.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3699 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
01/27/06 Updated: 01/27/06

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Story

Hee. That was fairly clever. I'm surprised it doesn't have more reviews.


Hogwarts: A Musical by QueenHal
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 49]

Summary: A SPEWish Covert Cupid for TheVanishingAct. Happy Valentine's Day, Professor Pat!

It's Seventh Year, and the new Headmaster has decreed that students must take some sort of course to fulfill the new Art Requirement. Our favourite characters have decided to take Drama. What kind of hilarity will ensue when the night of the first dress rehearsal arrives? Expect Hagrid as a Tree, Ron as Godric Gryffindor and Malfoy as the Amazing "Dancing" Ferret.

Ron/Luna, Prof. Pat/Hermione, Blaise/Himself

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1586 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
02/13/06 Updated: 02/13/06

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

XD XD and also XD


A Hare-y Little Problem by spunkymuzicnote
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 94]

Summary: Harry has an opportunity to view a Pensieve memory of his parents—When Lily overhears James commenting on Remus’s “furry little problem” the Marauders must do some fast talking to get themselves out of a sticky situation.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 13378 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
06/09/06 Updated: 06/16/06

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/06/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

This story is love. It's sweet, hilarious, perfectly true to canon (at least, as we knew it at the time) and without any of the needless randomness that characterizes many humour fics. Also:

"James said as the boys headed past a portrait of Princess Winnifred the Moat Swimmer"

YES! Once Upon a Mattress reference: I was totally in that play. I was the King. :-)

Awesome story.


Summary: Chasing after his brother George, Fred winds up lost in the Department of Mysteries. Will he ever get out? Will he ever find George? Will the big voice ever be happy? Read on and see.

I am MrsRuebeusHagridDursley of Hufflepuff, and this is my submission for the Gauntlet, round 4.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1891 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
05/27/07 Updated: 05/28/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Fred Weasley and the Department of Mysteries

Delightfully random. Not much more to be said, really.

Author's Response: Why thank you!


For Want of a Nail by the nutty imp
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: This is a strange tale about events that resulted to Neville Longbottom becoming the-boy-who-lived.

I blame a dead crup, Sirius, Bellatrix and some escaped fairies. Wipe that smirk off your face, I'm being serious here... really!

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 2419 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
05/30/07 Updated: 05/30/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: May 2007 One-Shot Challenge

Oooh, I love these sort of butterfly effect stories. Change one thing, change everything. It's strange how the smallest action can have the hugest consequences when time is added, and you've demonstrated that wonderfully here.


Teddy by dumbledorefluertwins
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 297]

Summary: It's Teddy Lupin's first year at Hogwarts. As an orphan, he has bounced backwards and forwards between his grandmother and his godfather. Follow him on a journey where he discovers the values of friendship, family and love, along with fighting the prejudices against his father, and getting through Defense Against the Dark Arts, with a teacher who just seems to hate him for no reason...

*DH spoilers, obviously*

NOTE: I am sorry, but I have left this site, due to lack of time and personal issues concerning RL and the site. This story is discontinued here, but may well be posted elsewhere in the future.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 22111 Chapters: 10 Completed: No
09/09/07 Updated: 11/03/08

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 10/07/07 Title: Chapter 2: With Love, Hugs and Warnings.

I do like this story. Teddy seems like he could be a very interesting character to play around with in fic. The spelling and grammar here are sound so far as I know, and I like where you're going with the story. My only criticism is that Teddy seems to act a bit older than the 11-year-old we know him to be in this fic. He seems almost too mature. Just my two cents.


Weasleys are our Kings! by Fading
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: A half-silly, half-coping-with-last-book-grief ballad in tribute of everyone's favorite red-haired family! Written in the style of "Weasley is our King," but honors all members of the immediate Weasley family, not just Ron.

One semi-naughty implication that tips the scale from G to PG. Big, HUGE DH spoilers. If you've read DH, enjoy, and please review! (Extra kudos to those who add their own verses!...)

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 223 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/16/07 Updated: 10/25/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 10/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Weasleys are our Kings!

LOL. Nicely done. I loved Molly's verse, and yes, the Weasleys are quite simply the best fictional family ever. One thing: it's 'fearsome' not 'fiercesome.' Unless you did that on purpose. Other than that, great job.

Author's Response: Oops--fixed fearsome. Kudos for catching that (yeah, it wasn\'t on purpose...) and thanks for the review!


Tomato Seeds by Gin_Drinka
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 46]

Summary: It’s all about the little things…

If you’ve ever missed somebody special, this is for you.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2588 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/22/07 Updated: 10/23/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 10/23/07 Title: Chapter 1: Tomato Seeds

Wow. WOW that was beautiful. Really, well and truly beautiful. Most grief fics I've seen feature heavy crying, sobbing, hugging, and angst by the bucketloads. But while that is all fine and good, this rings truer for me. For grief really is all about the little things: the tiny, seemingly insignificant habits and quirks which one doesn't really notice until they are gone. In a world of mournful wailing, your beautiful picture of quiet sadness and remembrance stands above the rest. There's really nothing I can criticize about this.


Author's Response: Wow. What a nicely put review. Thanks very much, I really appreciate it. Grief really is about the little things. The bigger picture is bearable if you think about it. It\'s the little things that get us.


As Long As They Laughed by Ravencorgi
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: They say that laughter is the best medicine...

A little oneshot about rings, eggs, and moving on.

It's been in the works for a few months now, I only just got around to submitting it.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2113 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/26/07 Updated: 10/27/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 10/27/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

"and he wilted and sunk his face into his opposable digits."

You had me at this place. I like the sporadic capitalisation: it seems appropriate for George to sort of give proper names to his thoughts like that. It's not really clear if the Resurrection Stone incident is a dream or a memory, but that might be intentional. The story is heartbreakingly hilarious. Long live Fred!

Author's Response: The italicized part was a dream. Or a vision, whatever you want to call it. Thank you!


He Loves Him by Celestial Melody
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 34]

Summary: Past Featured StoryWhen you love someone, the last thing you expect them to do is break your heart ... but it frequently happens. Salt-tears cannot express the pain that a heart crying blood feels. Yet, even though our torn and tattered hearts are in pieces, rattling sonorously around in the emptiness of our chests, we still love that 'someone' because no one and nothing can predict love ... It just happens.

For Rose Weasley, her impressions of her own “love” were shattered when she found out something she shouldn't have, something that made her wish for revenge ... something that made her unable to take it.

Categories: Same-Sex Pairings Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 2129 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/28/07 Updated: 10/31/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: He Loves Him

It's fairly well written, but unless I'm misreading (which I don't think I am, but very well could be) it sounds like Rose loves Albus.

Which is somewhat awkward, considering they're cousins.

Oh well. Still fairly well written, if potentially a tad confusing (you're right, you DO need to read it carefully).

Author's Response: Thank you for your well-thought out, critical review, Steven. =) I really appreciate that you took the time to do this. *smiles*

And you\'re not misreading, actually. Rose does indeed love her cousin: \"... and you started eying him even though he was your best friend and your cousin.\"

So, yes, I suppose it could be termed \"incest,\" but for the fact that this is unrequited love. Like Rose says, you can\'t help whom you love. It just happens. And if you happen to love your cousin--1st, 2nd, it doesn\'t even matter--then so be it. You are simply physically and emotionally attracted to that other person.

And this was meant to be vague, so I\'m glad you found that to be true. Again, thanks so much.



Summary: Past Featured StoryFred is dead.

But that's just the beginning! Because one of George's ears is up in heaven, and the other is down on earth...

Oh, the possibilities!

Written for the Next Great Adventure challenge on the MNFF beta boards. I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Twice nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts Story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards!

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 9446 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
10/29/07 Updated: 10/31/07

Reviewer: Morkhan Signed
Date: 11/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only

Well, I typed up a fairly long review for this lovely little tale before Mugglenet decided that five minutes was FAR too long for me to exist without doing anything and logged me off without even so much as a "Morkhan, may I?"

So, in summary.

Story = funny. In the 'Sweet Mother of Magpie, I need oxygen to live! Stop making me laugh!" sort of way.

Characterization = Perfection. Like Scarlett Johanson, only I don't want to do unspeakable things to this story in my bedchamber.

Oh, wait.

YES, I DO!!!

My fic aspirations = ruined. You absolute son of a Nargle whore. I'm never going to be able to write my George-fic now. There's no way I'll be able to measure up to this.

In even shorter summary: gg

Author's Response: Ewww, I hate it when MNFF does that. Thank you, though! Hahahahaha, this review made me giggle like WHOA. Unspeakable things. I definitely say go ahead with the George story if you\'re that insanely hilarious... PLEASE!

And how did you know my dad was a Nargle? 0_0

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