I am eighteen and cheerful and in love with words, and one day I shall write something that ends happily.
Wow. Wasn't expecting that one coming. I've only just started reading this fic; I admit it, it was because the summary made me laugh--how could Draco Malfoy be married to Ginny Weasley and not know it?--but you write so well, and I'm a nutter for irony. Talk about ironic. This is just fantastic.
First scene, Ginny speaking, you left out the 'r' in "having your way with me..."
Oh, by the way, I really love all the little extra references you've thrown in--particularly the Tolkien ones. You're sustaining the life of Middle Earth in a Potterverse, and you have no idea how happy that makes me, even just for a little bit!
I'm also intrigued by what you've done with the whole Weasley family being killed (except, and now, Percy), and Harry on top of it all, leaving Ginny pretty much alone. I don't think anything but that could leave her so broken, but you've given Draco and Ginny the power to heal each other...maybe.
Amazing story! Update soon, and have a nice day!
I blame a dead crup, Sirius, Bellatrix and some escaped fairies. Wipe that smirk off your face, I'm being serious here... really!
This was...well, really cool! What else can I say?
The poem has a precise, building sort of intensity that was mirrored well in the way you arranged the poem. It's intriguing to think one incident in Sirius Black's childhood affected the outcome of the war against Voldemort, and I wish it was longer, but you don't need more to make your point.
Erm...oh yeah, last bit of the "nail" section, there's a typo--an extra "n"--in "Rosier". I think that's the only think I noticed.
Oh! Lily was so little and sweet, and poking fun at her like that was so pointless--it wasn't even really funny, not even by Slytherin standards. The line borrowed from Zabini was a nice touch, but what really got me was how well you carried off James' traditional confidence and boisterousness while changing the very core of the character.
I do wish you'd made them a bit older, though. Eleven seems a bit young for Lily to have a crush, and James was cruel enough that a Lily two or three years older might have cried too, though not in the same helpless little girl way.
Author's Response: You know, now that I think of it I really should have made them older. Ah well, it was a very spur of the moment, last minute challenge fic. I'm glad you liked James' character, I know he is OOC to the max, ha. Thank you for the review.
This was a fun one-shot, and a good read. I especially liked Sirius' argument with the Hat, and how you started and ended with a bit of the four of them--almost like it was always going to be the Marauders, and Sirius' house was no more than a minor obstacle easily overcome.
Out of idle curiosity, is your title a play on Hairy Snout, Human Heart?
Author's Response: Thank you for reading this story! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. The title wasn't a play on that story, no, but it sure seems like it could be. I haven't read that, I'll have to add it to my reading list! Thanks for leaving such a nice review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)
I'm not a big fan of songfics, but this one was definitely worth reading. It was sweet in a non-overbearing sort of way, the characters were believable, and you tied in the sweater and the cats wonderfully. The blueberry scones were a particularly nice touch, I thought.
The occasional dabble of facetious humor lightened the mood a bit, in a good way. There was a lot crammed in there at the end, though. It was a little confusing, but I suspect for anyone reading the Daily Prophet, it would have been as well...and, of course, the ending was pretty much perfect.
It's been a bit of a bad day, and this was somehow just what I needed. Thank you for that.
Right, well, now I'm miserable.
Consider it a compliment of the highest order. Draco's unspoken thoughts had an incredible, painful simplicity, an earnest and fading desire for things to be different even if he didn't have much to live for, and that made me hurt.
That last bit there was the worst, right as he was dying alone, and Harry with Ron and Hermione at least at his side, and the healer having been too late, too late by just a little bit. The mention of the rain at the beginning and end was particularly appropriate.
Would say cheers, but can't. Good story, though.
Author's Response: *dances* I love reviewers kind enough to leave their two-cents long after the fic's been posted. You rock. Thanks so much for reading. I'm sorry you're miserable... actually, I'm not. I like making people miserable! I'm so glad you read this and enjoyed it. *huggles*
That was really funny! Luna is fantastic, as are Wrackspurts, Nargles, and Crumple-Horned Snorkacks; the title of your fic alone was enough to make me click on it. Helga's conversation with the Hat made me laugh in the "silent study" section of the library and earn quite a few glares...
A few typos here or there...chapter one, fourth paragraph, "make you brain go fuzzy", and also no hyphen in "fall up stairs." Second chapter, third paragraph, Slazar, but you got the first 'a' in his name in all the other places, I think.
I'm interested to see what you'll do next with this!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! It\'s great to hear what people think especially when they are as nice as yours. I too love anything Luna related,and i\'m glad that the title managed to covince you to read this - I was worried it was a little \'off\', if that makes any sense? I\'m glad that it managed to make you laugh, although I hope you didn\'t recieve too many glares! The last time I went into the library my phone accidently rang and a random person came up and started discussing my ring tone with me! It was nice but a little strange! Thank you for the advice on the typo errors! I am exteremly bad at them, and I feel really sorry for those who have to read it - so thanks for the advice. Once again, Thank You for your reviews and I\'m glad I made you laugh! It\'s great to know there are others with my sence of humour! Thank you very much! Ell
Aw, you do a great Dean. He was always a fun character, and since J.K. gave him a backstory, it makes me happy that you're writing it.
I'd always imagined Dean living alone with his mum, and I haven't read all the interview literature on him, but your way is much better. Why wouldn't Dean's mom get remarried? And the step-siblings just make it more realistic. You do well weaving in how he pumps his fist--sort of a Dean signature gesture.
I've only just started reading this, but you write it so well, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and have a Happy New Year!
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review! I\'m flattered by all of your compliments. Quite honestly, I haven\'t read the interviews about him, but it wouldn\'t make sense for his mother to remain unmarried for so long. Anyways, I\'m honored that you enjoyed my portrayal of Dean so much. I hope that you too have a fantastic New Year!
It's the little things that are most annoying, and Remus and Tonks were real people in this with quirks and bothersome habits that made them all the more beautiful. My Dad's office looks just like your description of Remus' office, too.
You fit the prompts well, and the repartee was excellent. Kudos for the cellar scene as well, seeing as that was particularly well done. It was sweet, and just what I was in the mood for, so I thank you for that.
This is a great story--I laughed out loud reading it! I loved Chapter 1, with everyone getting their Howarts letters.
I am curious, however, as to what you're going to do with Snape...
Author's Response: Oh yes...Snape is rather important sooner than you may think...
Brilliant as ever. I think you did well rhyming things with "Phoenix," too, seeing as that's much harder than the classic, "They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere...Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell? Damn that Scarlet Pimpernel." *nostalgic sigh* *laughs at self*
I second the "want to see more of Sirius" comment. Will he be your Sir Andrew?
Snape was perfect. Chauvelin-y, in a distinctly Snape-ish way. There was was one sentence...um, beginning of the seventh paragraph, I believe, that was just a little unclear. Snape wasn't bothered by what about Dumbledore? His capture? His being the Phoenix (or so Snape thinks)? A word or two of clarification would help.
Again, brilliant job, and a definite day-brightener. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: How did I not answer this review earlier? Hahahaha, I copied the \'doggerel quatrain\' onto my friend\'s locker this morning. As for Sirius... well, you\'ll see.
I\'ve always thought Snape reminded me of Chauvelin, especially after DH. As for the Dumbledore thing, I think what I was trying to say was, Snape frankly doesn\'t care about what happens to Dumbledore... he mostly just cares about Lily. So, he doesn\'t really care about Dumbledore in general.
Glad you liked it! AND IT WAS SOOO HARD TRYING TO RHYME \'PHOENIX.\'
This is such a fantastic fic! I haven't read "the Scarlet Pimpernel" in such a long time, and haven't seen the movie in longer. Now I don't know whether I want to go check out the Scarlet Pimpernel book or reread all the HP books again.
Is "Love a Duck" the Phoenix-version of "Sync Me"?
Author's Response: Fwahahaha, thank you! \"Love a duck\" is indeed the equivalent of Sink Me/Odd\'s Fish/Odd\'s my life/Lud love me/take your pick. (Don\'t you love Blakeney-isms?)
I love the Scarlet Pimpernel too, and I think you're doing a fantastic job blending them! How you swapped out Marguerite's brother for Petunia, and how James can play a great Percy Blakeney because...after all, he is a Marauder!
You're doing a great job now, but as you go long, try and make sure that Lily still retains some characteristics of Lily, and doesn't become Marguerite entirely. Of all the characters you'll be working with, I think those two are hardest to merge, because while both are popular, sweet, and generally above suspicion, Lily's not nearly as docile as a late eighteenth century Englishwoman.
The frog song and James and Sirius' fight with the baguettes had me rolling around, I was laughing so hard! I'll be waiting for Chapter 4!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you very much! It\'s great to see someone who can compare it to the original book!
I didn\'t plan on making Lily too much like Marguerite because she\'s a modern girl, just like how James is not exactly like Percy and Snape is... okay Snape IS Chauvelin, whatever. But in any case, I never really liked Marguerite from the book, and that\'s one of the main reasons why I wrote this-- to put a modern girl in the same predicament as Marguerite.
Aw. Teddy is like James'...well, Remus. James was a laugh, full of energy and empowered by a sense of his own amazingness. Can't help but love him, even in his conceited moments. James Potter I reincarnated, do you reckon?
That last little "So you do play favorites!" got a big grin out of me. It was fun to read, and just what I needed to cheer me up after a bad week. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad to have brightened up your week. ;-]
Oh. I don't know what to say. I have to say something, though.
Your characterizations of the Potters were great--James and Harry for the very little bit they were there, Albus (whose personality is actually a plausible derivation from his behavior in the Epilogue, he's a tough one to do right with so little to go on), and Lily--oh, poor Lily, and yet...she seemed to almost forgive Scorpius easier than he forgave himself.
The loaded gun line sort of describes all the Malfoys, so the way you did Scorpius sort of fit, like he was 50% rebel, 100% Malfoy, and if it's 150%, it's because the rules shouldn't apply to him. You made it impossible not to feel bad for him, especially at the end. Sorry for everyone.
Congratulations on winning the challenge. You deserved it.
That was so plausible, and so good, and SO chilling! Hugo, being willing to kill his own father, and not a single shred of remorse in the entire conversation, Lily, young and passionate and a lot like Lily Evans, and Scorpius, eavesdropping and unable to intervene on his own, the underdog...wow. I'd love to know what Hermione would have thought of her son joining a radical violent anti-pureblood group.
It was one of the best argument scenes I've ever read, and an amazing one-shot. Terrific job!
That was wonderful, really well written! I thought the second part, with Lupin after Sirius' death, and the part with George and the socks were particularly moving....seeing as those were the hardest deaths for me in the Deathly Hallows. A beautiful tribute...
Author's Response: Yeah...those were hard for me too...thanks for a really nice review.
Wow, this is your first fic, and English is your second language? I'm even more impressed!
Sorry for not being specific about this bit..."Even brothers can end in hate" confused me, because for a person to "end" made me think of death, not a falling out between two people. Perhaps "even brotherly love can turn to hate"? Perhaps it's just me. That was my fault for not explaining.
Again, it was a beautiful piece, you did a lovely job, and good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. This story won third place in the challenge, so I am very excited. ^-^
Interesting and unique use of the sun/moon metaphor! Very convincingly written, esp. Helena's letter--you captured her bitterness perfectly.
There were some awkward places here and there..."I had been writing a letter to my soon-to-be betrothed" (so her lover hasn't acutally proposed yet?). "Yes, but even brothers can end in hate"--could you rephrase that, please? Second scene, first paragraph: "...and I had no intentions of going out any time soon." I would cut the paragraph after that, because the second and third paragraphs convey the same information, but you were much more articulate in the third. End of fourth scene: "placing it back in its help"--I think you had a different word in mind than "help". Maybe "stand"? Your last sentence..."my Helena, the moon of my sky"...is a metaphor that I don't quite understand. You could say Helena is the moon in her blackest night, as a metaphor for despair or loneliness, but the meaning behind "sky" escapes me.
Good job with the story, and good luck with the challenge!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Itís my first review ever, and it wasnít as bad as I wouldíve thought Ė in terms of what they think/found of my story. To answer your first question, yes, he has proposed, they just arenít married yet; it is a small mistake I made, I thought betrothed was a synonym of husband/wife. When she later says that her betrothed had left her, it meant her husband. Please forgive me, English is my second language, and not my primary. Why should I rephrase ďbut even brothers end in hateĒ? You havenít said anything to make me think thereís something wrong with it. I donít know what was I thinking when I wrote help. Maybe it was my conscience asking for help? Mmm... Anyways, yes I meant stand, even if they arenít alike in any matter. The way Iíve always thought of the metaphor is that the moon, like the sun, itís the center of admiration of the sky. When one person looks up at the sky they always search for the moon, or the sun if itís day. The way I see it, Rowena knew that when Helena said she was the sun, she meant she also admired her, even if it was grudgingly. Rowena only wished Helena had gotten her turn to be admired, the way Rowena admired her.
Aww. You know, pre-DH, I really wanted Snape to be bad, just for an excuse to hate him. As a kid...being in love with Lily...this beautiful little story and the sympathy of my sister...I think I'm being converted against my will. Good job!