Penname: Pendraegona [Contact]
Real name: Call me Penn
Member Since: 09/06/07
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Status: Member
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I am eighteen and cheerful and in love with words, and one day I shall write something that ends happily.
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Reviews by Pendraegona
 

My Constant by MoRoCcAnAnDpRoUd
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 487]

Summary: The first war with Lord Voldemort is constantly getting worse; people are dying left and right, dementors are attacking people on the Death Eaters' orders, and nobody knows who is trustworthy anymore. Lily Evans, in her seventh year at Howarts, does not want to be a part of the war -- but some things are unavoidable.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 147617 Chapters: 36 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/16/07 Updated: 05/01/14


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 10/13/07 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter Twelve

This is SUCH A GOOD STORY!! It's so readable, the characters just fit, and I got to the end of each chapter and couldn't believe it was the end already!
General Comment--you don't always put whose point of view the chapter is in on the top. There isn't a chapter where I couldn't figure out after a couple of lines who was speaking, but it would be good if you bolded and all caps-ed the name of the narrator for each chapter at the top.
Please update it soon!

Author's Response: thank you - also, im sorry about the pov thing i was pretty sure i had james at the top but i guess i didn\'t haha .

 
Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 11/14/07 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter Thirteen

Oh! That was so beautifully dramatic, so tragic, so..real. This is the best I've ever seen James done, and I love how you've developed Lily's character from the beginning of the story up to this point. More, please!

Author's Response: Thank you! (:

 

Hesperides' Apple by Ogygiasylph
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 228]

Summary: Past Featured StoryWhen Ginny Weasley becomes Draco Malfoy's wife, he suspects neither her true identity nor her dangerous motives. But when all Hell breaks lose and their relationship takes unexpected turns, there is more at stake than preserving their marriage--namely, preserving their lives.

Categories: Draco/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death, Sexual Situations, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 159368 Chapters: 31 Completed: No
Published:
05/06/07 Updated: 02/01/13


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 12/06/07 Title: Chapter 7: 7. Magical Brazil, Bittersweet England

Wow. Wasn't expecting that one coming. I've only just started reading this fic; I admit it, it was because the summary made me laugh--how could Draco Malfoy be married to Ginny Weasley and not know it?--but you write so well, and I'm a nutter for irony. Talk about ironic. This is just fantastic.

First scene, Ginny speaking, you left out the 'r' in "having your way with me..."

Oh, by the way, I really love all the little extra references you've thrown in--particularly the Tolkien ones. You're sustaining the life of Middle Earth in a Potterverse, and you have no idea how happy that makes me, even just for a little bit!

I'm also intrigued by what you've done with the whole Weasley family being killed (except, and now, Percy), and Harry on top of it all, leaving Ginny pretty much alone. I don't think anything but that could leave her so broken, but you've given Draco and Ginny the power to heal each other...maybe.

Amazing story! Update soon, and have a nice day!

 

For Want of a Nail by the nutty imp
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: This is a strange tale about events that resulted to Neville Longbottom becoming the-boy-who-lived.

I blame a dead crup, Sirius, Bellatrix and some escaped fairies. Wipe that smirk off your face, I'm being serious here... really!



Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 2419 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/30/07 Updated: 05/30/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 07/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: May 2007 One-Shot Challenge

This was...well, really cool! What else can I say?

The poem has a precise, building sort of intensity that was mirrored well in the way you arranged the poem. It's intriguing to think one incident in Sirius Black's childhood affected the outcome of the war against Voldemort, and I wish it was longer, but you don't need more to make your point.

Erm...oh yeah, last bit of the "nail" section, there's a typo--an extra "n"--in "Rosier". I think that's the only think I noticed.

Cheers!

 

Guilt by beauty and brains
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary: If James Potter had been a Slytherin, what would he have done to make Lily hate him?

I am beauty and brains of Gryffindor House for the May One-Shot Challenge.

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 1686 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/03/07 Updated: 06/06/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 07/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: Guilt

Oh! Lily was so little and sweet, and poking fun at her like that was so pointless--it wasn't even really funny, not even by Slytherin standards. The line borrowed from Zabini was a nice touch, but what really got me was how well you carried off James' traditional confidence and boisterousness while changing the very core of the character.

I do wish you'd made them a bit older, though. Eleven seems a bit young for Lily to have a crush, and James was cruel enough that a Lily two or three years older might have cried too, though not in the same helpless little girl way.

Author's Response: You know, now that I think of it I really should have made them older. Ah well, it was a very spur of the moment, last minute challenge fic. I'm glad you liked James' character, I know he is OOC to the max, ha. Thank you for the review.

 

Slytherin House, Gryffindor Heart by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Sirius Black begins his first year at Hogwarts, separated from his new friends when he is reluctantly Sorted into Slytherin. Will the gulf between houses destroy his budding friendships, or is he truly a Gryffindor at heart?

Written for the May One-Shot Challenge by Gmariam of Ravenclaw, this story received an honorable mention.


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 2525 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/05/07 Updated: 06/05/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 07/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

This was a fun one-shot, and a good read. I especially liked Sirius' argument with the Hat, and how you started and ended with a bit of the four of them--almost like it was always going to be the Marauders, and Sirius' house was no more than a minor obstacle easily overcome.

Out of idle curiosity, is your title a play on Hairy Snout, Human Heart?

Author's Response: Thank you for reading this story! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. The title wasn't a play on that story, no, but it sure seems like it could be. I haven't read that, I'll have to add it to my reading list! Thanks for leaving such a nice review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)

 

Think of Me by sheriden
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: He didnít really want his sweater back. He just wanted the sweater-stealer to think of him. If he could get both the sweater and the thief back, and achieve world peace, then that was even better. One-shot.

Categories: Draco/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 3663 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/28/07 Updated: 06/29/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 05/27/08 Title: Chapter 1: Think of Me

I'm not a big fan of songfics, but this one was definitely worth reading. It was sweet in a non-overbearing sort of way, the characters were believable, and you tied in the sweater and the cats wonderfully. The blueberry scones were a particularly nice touch, I thought.

The occasional dabble of facetious humor lightened the mood a bit, in a good way. There was a lot crammed in there at the end, though. It was a little confusing, but I suspect for anyone reading the Daily Prophet, it would have been as well...and, of course, the ending was pretty much perfect.

It's been a bit of a bad day, and this was somehow just what I needed. Thank you for that.

 

Summary: The thing about humans is – they will always, always be human. When a certain young man does the unthinkable and changes sides in the midst of terror and war, his new “friends” and “comrades” just cannot trust him completely. In the end, that lack of trust turns an already horrible part of war, into a tragedy.

Draco Malfoy One-Shot

Nominated in the 2007 QSQ's for Best Dark/Angsty Fic

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1912 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/16/07 Updated: 07/19/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 09/07/08 Title: Chapter 1: They Shook His Hand with a Clenched Fist

Right, well, now I'm miserable.

Consider it a compliment of the highest order. Draco's unspoken thoughts had an incredible, painful simplicity, an earnest and fading desire for things to be different even if he didn't have much to live for, and that made me hurt.

That last bit there was the worst, right as he was dying alone, and Harry with Ron and Hermione at least at his side, and the healer having been too late, too late by just a little bit. The mention of the rain at the beginning and end was particularly appropriate.

Would say cheers, but can't. Good story, though.

Author's Response: *dances* I love reviewers kind enough to leave their two-cents long after the fic's been posted. You rock. Thanks so much for reading. I'm sorry you're miserable... actually, I'm not. I like making people miserable! I'm so glad you read this and enjoyed it. *huggles*

 

Summary: Wrackspurts - highly annoying and a lot of hassle!
After an introduction to the creatures themselves, read a series of one-shots travelling across the era's with an excerpt from the founders, marauders and even Wrackspurt expert Luna Lovegood herself!

Sit back, relax and enjoy reading about the continual annoyance Wrackspurts really are!


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2946 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
08/25/07 Updated: 11/14/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 11/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - An Introduction to Wrackspurts

That was really funny! Luna is fantastic, as are Wrackspurts, Nargles, and Crumple-Horned Snorkacks; the title of your fic alone was enough to make me click on it. Helga's conversation with the Hat made me laugh in the "silent study" section of the library and earn quite a few glares...

A few typos here or there...chapter one, fourth paragraph, "make you brain go fuzzy", and also no hyphen in "fall up stairs." Second chapter, third paragraph, Slazar, but you got the first 'a' in his name in all the other places, I think.

I'm interested to see what you'll do next with this!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! It\'s great to hear what people think especially when they are as nice as yours. I too love anything Luna related,and i\'m glad that the title managed to covince you to read this - I was worried it was a little \'off\', if that makes any sense? I\'m glad that it managed to make you laugh, although I hope you didn\'t recieve too many glares! The last time I went into the library my phone accidently rang and a random person came up and started discussing my ring tone with me! It was nice but a little strange! Thank you for the advice on the typo errors! I am exteremly bad at them, and I feel really sorry for those who have to read it - so thanks for the advice. Once again, Thank You for your reviews and I\'m glad I made you laugh! It\'s great to know there are others with my sence of humour! Thank you very much! Ell

 

My Father's World by Indigoenigma
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Dean Thomas is not a wizard. Wizards arenít real. He knows that! However, a letter from a mysterious man, who claims to be his father, turns this belief upside down. In the process of discovering who he really is, Dean discovers a lot more than he bargained for.











Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 8166 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
09/13/07 Updated: 12/22/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 12/26/07 Title: Chapter 3: Emil

Aw, you do a great Dean. He was always a fun character, and since J.K. gave him a backstory, it makes me happy that you're writing it.

I'd always imagined Dean living alone with his mum, and I haven't read all the interview literature on him, but your way is much better. Why wouldn't Dean's mom get remarried? And the step-siblings just make it more realistic. You do well weaving in how he pumps his fist--sort of a Dean signature gesture.

I've only just started reading this, but you write it so well, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and have a Happy New Year!



Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderful review! I\'m flattered by all of your compliments. Quite honestly, I haven\'t read the interviews about him, but it wouldn\'t make sense for his mother to remain unmarried for so long. Anyways, I\'m honored that you enjoyed my portrayal of Dean so much. I hope that you too have a fantastic New Year!

 

When Worlds Collide by Pallas
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: One Shot Set Post Imperius - A short set of interludes in the life of Remus and Tonks at Winter Hollow

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 3158 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/22/07 Updated: 09/22/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 12/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: When Worlds Collide

It's the little things that are most annoying, and Remus and Tonks were real people in this with quirks and bothersome habits that made them all the more beautiful. My Dad's office looks just like your description of Remus' office, too.

You fit the prompts well, and the repartee was excellent. Kudos for the cellar scene as well, seeing as that was particularly well done. It was sweet, and just what I was in the mood for, so I thank you for that.

 

Thanks for the Memories by tiger_lily821
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 55]

Summary: The Marauders. They're the elite group of troublemakers. Meet James, who tries hard to maintain his devil-may-care attitude in the face of true love; Sirius, who is the plotter-in-chief; Remus, the "goody-goody" and prefect of the lot; and Peter, who's not even sure how he got included in the first place.



Follow everyone's favorite miscreants on a whirlwind journey full of laughs, love, and good hexes.



Note: FALL OUT BOY STOLE MY TITLE FROM ME! I HAD IT FIRST! *lawyers appear armed with lawsuits* Those guys can't take a joke, can they? Okay, I don't own it.*



To keep you all updated with my progress, have writer's block currently, but it hardly ever lasts long, and I'm on chapter 30
Thanks to all my lovely reviewers!

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death

Word count: 16639 Chapters: 9 Completed: No
Published:
09/23/07 Updated: 01/15/08


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 10/13/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- The Letter

This is a great story--I laughed out loud reading it! I loved Chapter 1, with everyone getting their Howarts letters.
I am curious, however, as to what you're going to do with Snape...
Keep writing!

Author's Response: Oh yes...Snape is rather important sooner than you may think...

 

Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 120]

Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.

Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.

Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.

Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.

But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 14816 Chapters: 5 Completed: No
Published:
09/24/07 Updated: 11/10/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 11/10/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One

Brilliant as ever. I think you did well rhyming things with "Phoenix," too, seeing as that's much harder than the classic, "They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere...Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell? Damn that Scarlet Pimpernel." *nostalgic sigh* *laughs at self*

I second the "want to see more of Sirius" comment. Will he be your Sir Andrew?

Snape was perfect. Chauvelin-y, in a distinctly Snape-ish way. There was was one sentence...um, beginning of the seventh paragraph, I believe, that was just a little unclear. Snape wasn't bothered by what about Dumbledore? His capture? His being the Phoenix (or so Snape thinks)? A word or two of clarification would help.

Again, brilliant job, and a definite day-brightener. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: How did I not answer this review earlier? Hahahaha, I copied the \'doggerel quatrain\' onto my friend\'s locker this morning. As for Sirius... well, you\'ll see.
I\'ve always thought Snape reminded me of Chauvelin, especially after DH. As for the Dumbledore thing, I think what I was trying to say was, Snape frankly doesn\'t care about what happens to Dumbledore... he mostly just cares about Lily. So, he doesn\'t really care about Dumbledore in general.
Glad you liked it! AND IT WAS SOOO HARD TRYING TO RHYME \'PHOENIX.\'

 
Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 11/06/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: In Which Lily Gets, If Possible, Even More Irritated

This is such a fantastic fic! I haven't read "the Scarlet Pimpernel" in such a long time, and haven't seen the movie in longer. Now I don't know whether I want to go check out the Scarlet Pimpernel book or reread all the HP books again.

Is "Love a Duck" the Phoenix-version of "Sync Me"?

Author's Response: Fwahahaha, thank you! \"Love a duck\" is indeed the equivalent of Sink Me/Odd\'s Fish/Odd\'s my life/Lud love me/take your pick. (Don\'t you love Blakeney-isms?)

 
Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 10/20/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: In Which Snape Drives a Very, Very Hard Bargain

I love the Scarlet Pimpernel too, and I think you're doing a fantastic job blending them! How you swapped out Marguerite's brother for Petunia, and how James can play a great Percy Blakeney because...after all, he is a Marauder!
You're doing a great job now, but as you go long, try and make sure that Lily still retains some characteristics of Lily, and doesn't become Marguerite entirely. Of all the characters you'll be working with, I think those two are hardest to merge, because while both are popular, sweet, and generally above suspicion, Lily's not nearly as docile as a late eighteenth century Englishwoman.
The frog song and James and Sirius' fight with the baguettes had me rolling around, I was laughing so hard! I'll be waiting for Chapter 4!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you very much! It\'s great to see someone who can compare it to the original book!

I didn\'t plan on making Lily too much like Marguerite because she\'s a modern girl, just like how James is not exactly like Percy and Snape is... okay Snape IS Chauvelin, whatever. But in any case, I never really liked Marguerite from the book, and that\'s one of the main reasons why I wrote this-- to put a modern girl in the same predicament as Marguerite.

 

Intervention by liquid_silver
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: James Potter and Scorpius Malfoy have a confrontation while serving detention together.
Intervention won second place in the September One-Shot Challenge!


Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 2271 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/11/07 Updated: 10/11/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 04/04/08 Title: Chapter 1: Intervention

Aw. Teddy is like James'...well, Remus. James was a laugh, full of energy and empowered by a sense of his own amazingness. Can't help but love him, even in his conceited moments. James Potter I reincarnated, do you reckon?

That last little "So you do play favorites!" got a big grin out of me. It was fun to read, and just what I needed to cheer me up after a bad week. Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad to have brightened up your week. ;-]

 

Across the Line by Skipper424
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: Scorpius is much different than his Malfoy name would suggest. Heís a very friendly and genuine young wizard who, against the odds, has become close friends with Albus Potter. He is bright as a student and has an amazing talent for Potions, drawing him comparisons to a former Hogwarts Headmaster named Snape. His quick smile is charming and he has a sense of adventure and mischief to match any Potter. And, unbeknownst to Albus, heís fallen for the youngest Potter, Lily.

It all sounds like countless other school-age romance scenarios taking place at both magical and Muggle schools worldwide, none of which end in tragedy. What makes this one different? There is a line existing between safety and danger. Not all people posses the ability to recognize it, or foresee possible consequences of their actions when they cross it. Even in the absence of malicious intent, awful things can happen when one strays across this line into an uncharted and treacherous wilderness of ignorance.

This is the first place winner of the September One-Shot Challenge. Very special thanks to joybelle423 for her wonderful beta reading. I cannot thank her enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you ...

Warning: This story contains implied non-consensual sex. There is nothing graphic and the reader does not witness the act, but learns enough about it to possibly be disturbed if sensitive to such things. Please proceed with this warning firmly in mind.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Non-Consensual Sex

Word count: 6938 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/17/07 Updated: 10/17/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 04/04/08 Title: Chapter 1: Across the Line

Oh. I don't know what to say. I have to say something, though.

Your characterizations of the Potters were great--James and Harry for the very little bit they were there, Albus (whose personality is actually a plausible derivation from his behavior in the Epilogue, he's a tough one to do right with so little to go on), and Lily--oh, poor Lily, and yet...she seemed to almost forgive Scorpius easier than he forgave himself.

The loaded gun line sort of describes all the Malfoys, so the way you did Scorpius sort of fit, like he was 50% rebel, 100% Malfoy, and if it's 150%, it's because the rules shouldn't apply to him. You made it impossible not to feel bad for him, especially at the end. Sorry for everyone.

Congratulations on winning the challenge. You deserved it.

 

Blood Will Tell... by Sabby
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: The Death Eaters, under Lord Voldemort, authorized the murders of many Muggles and wanted to exterminate Muggle-borns. Hugo Weasley knows that the problem of pure-blood illusions of superiority are still out there and is determined to do something drastic to stop it...



I am Yellow_Rose of Gryffindor writing for the September One-Shot Challenge.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2113 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/17/07 Updated: 10/17/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 04/07/08 Title: Chapter 1: Blood Will Tell...

That was so plausible, and so good, and SO chilling! Hugo, being willing to kill his own father, and not a single shred of remorse in the entire conversation, Lily, young and passionate and a lot like Lily Evans, and Scorpius, eavesdropping and unable to intervene on his own, the underdog...wow. I'd love to know what Hermione would have thought of her son joining a radical violent anti-pureblood group.

It was one of the best argument scenes I've ever read, and an amazing one-shot. Terrific job!

 

Tomato Seeds by Gin_Drinka
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 46]

Summary: Itís all about the little thingsÖ


If youíve ever missed somebody special, this is for you.


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2588 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/22/07 Updated: 10/23/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 10/23/07 Title: Chapter 1: Tomato Seeds

That was wonderful, really well written! I thought the second part, with Lupin after Sirius' death, and the part with George and the socks were particularly moving....seeing as those were the hardest deaths for me in the Deathly Hallows. A beautiful tribute...

Author's Response: Yeah...those were hard for me too...thanks for a really nice review.

 

The Moon and the Sun by Love_is_4ever
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary:

You and I, that’s like talking about the sun and the moon: even though they share the skies, they can’t be together at the same time...


What happens when your most precious possession is taken from you? This is the story of the life of Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the cleverest witches of her time. But she has a secret, and a past she can’t forget...


Written for the Full Moon One Shot Challenge, I am Hopeful_song, of Hufflepuff House.

This Story Won Third Place in the Full Moon One Shot Challenge!


Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3572 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/24/07 Updated: 12/05/07


Reviewer: Pendraegona Signed
Date: 12/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow, this is your first fic, and English is your second language? I'm even more impressed!

Sorry for not being specific about this bit..."Even brothers can end in hate" confused me, because for a person to "end" made me think of death, not a falling out between two people. Perhaps "even brotherly love can turn to hate"? Perhaps it's just me. That was my fault for not explaining.

Again, it was a beautiful piece, you did a lovely job, and good luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: Thanks so much. This story won third place in the challenge, so I am very excited. ^-^

 
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