Welcome to my Author's Page
Banner by Meda
You can call me luinrina or Bine. I am
+ a proud Hufflepuff (banners by Heather and Lucia)
+ a (sometimes) inspired poet (banner by Meda), and
+ (if my muse cooperates) a fairly wordy writer.
List of completed one-shots:
Across the Pumpkin
A little one-shot about how Lily and Sirius became friends. Inspired by an inhouse challenge: Sirius, Lily, and a pumpkin.
Be Strong From Within
So far a one-shot about Ginny's sixth year. Originally written for the Back to School inhouse challenge on the beta boards. Received second place.
So far a one-shot about two friends and their Sorting. Written as the final for the Being British class, summer 2009, on the beta boards.
Envy and Fondness
This is a one-shot about the friendship of Lily and Severus. The arrival of James ensures that trouble is about to happen.
Fears - and Hope
Originally written for the Perfect Plot in a Prologue Challenge in June/July 2008: How would I introduce the Harry Potter series? Received first place.
In Due Time
Banner by Sitara
This one-shot is a foray into D/A and features Lucy Herberg, an OC. It was inspired by a discussion about Metamorphmagi in the Hufflepuff common room on the beta boards.
Banner by Helen
This one-shot was a co-author-project with Helen (helz_belz) for the Interhouse Co-op Challenge in the Great Hall on the Beta Boards. It features Anna Krum, the famous Quidditch player Viktor Krum's grandmother, and her story in the year 1944.
Received First Place.
Long Lost Lupine Laugh
Banner by Meda
This is a one-shot about Remus Lupin and how he prepares for his new teaching position at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
A tiny one-shot about Hagrid and Olympe Maxime becoming parents. Written for the I Challenge Thee Challenge (September) on the Beta Boards.
A longer one-shot about Susan Bones, her friends and family, and a mystery that hid below her living room. Written for the extra credit challenge of the Bookbasilisk Summer challenge, One Flew Over The Fwooper's Nest.
A short story about Andromeda a year after the Battle of Hogwarts. It was my first foray into second person POV. Originally written for the May drabble challenge in SPEW, then expanded to a one-shot.
The Bridge to Happiness
Banner by Rhi
A little one-shot about an afternoon of Sirius' and Regulus' childhood. This has been inspired by the third week of the Drabble Brawl, round two.
This Is Where You Belong
Banner by Sitara
A one-shot for the Winter Snows challenge. Harry reflects about the Christmases he has experienced.
Want You To Want Me
A one-shot about Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley, written for SPEW LoveNotes 2009. Romance.
Whispers From Azkaban
A dialogue between brothers. Written for the Bookbasilisk Summer Challenge, Gift of Gab.
List of poems:
Always The Same, Yet Always Different
Banner by Meda
This is a (very long) Sorting Hat's song, poem-style, written for the extra credit challenge in the Summer Challenge 2008. Complete.
Black but Bright
Banner by Kate
This is a poem about the Black brothers Sirius and Regulus. Complete.
A short poem about how Sirius managed to break out from Azkaban. Complete.
From the Ashes: The Order of the Phoenix
Banner by Meda
This is a two-part poem about the Order of the Phoenix, of which the second part is still not done.
Banner by Suzie
A little sonnet in English rhyming style about Lycantrophy and the curse of being a werewolf. Complete.
What Imagination Has To Offer
A poem about fantasy and imagination, with stanzas in haiku-form. Complete.
List of series:
A Christmas To Remember
A wintery one-shot about Draco and Astoria and the birth of their son. Written for the Christmas SPEW swap 2008, for Alison (R_Ravenclaw).
A Truth Universally Acknowledged
This is a one-shot featuring Draco and Astoria and how their relationship began. Prequel to A Christmas To Remember, written for SPEW LoveNotes 2009.
Arising From Nothing...
A one-shot about the founders and how Hogwarts came to be built. Prequel.
Shining Through Blackness
Banner by Lucia
This is the story about Isla Black and how she came to love a Muggle-born whereas her family was set on marrying her into an influential pure-blood family. This story is posted up to chapter seventeen. On hold.
First story (1).
What Is To Happen
Banner by Meda
This is the story I've written for Round 7 of the Gauntlet, featuring Isla Black. Four chapters, complete.
Companion to Shining Through Blackness (1.1).
From Here On Out
A songfic to Decode by Paramore. Written for SPEW 007 in 2009.
Companion to Shining Through Blackness (1.2).
Banner by me
A compliant story (may be chaptered, so far it's a one-shot only) to my Shining Through Blackness series. The story is a co-author-project with Terri (mudbloodproud).
List of uncompleted chaptered stories and their status:
Magical Moments - A Special Issue
The Marauders have to serve detention and are set to help writing the current month's school paper edition. The story is chaptered and posted up to chapter two. It's currently, sadly, resting due to time constraint and lack of further inspiration, but I will continue it one day.
Vain Or - C'est ton Destin
I adopted this (medieval) plot bunny from Pinkcess of the Abyss in the Adoption Centre. It features Harry growing up not with the Dursleys, but in the Founders' era. The story is AU, and the prologue and first chapter are up.
I try to keep that list up to date, but I'm rather bad at writing and keeping to lists...
I hope you enjoy my stories. Feel free to contact me if you have questions about them.
Summary: Rodolphus Lestrange was not meant to become a Death Eater.
His brother and the Dark Lord demand his decision and he knows what his answer will be. But there is one person who can show him that some things are more important than death.
Written as my first gauntlet.
Suicide warning for mention of past suicide — nothing graphic.
That story starts off ominously – but very interestingly though. Alone in a field without having a clue why he’s there? *shivers in anticipation*
First of all, congrats to a good first chapter. I really liked it. You have it well-paced, very well described and even better written. I really could feel with Rodolphus. Why was he there? Why were the Muggles killed? What was the meaning of this all? Also, how you explained how he got to that field in the first place was done well although it could have been a little bit clearer in my opinion. But maybe that’ll come in the other chapters? I’ll see.
The way you described the little Muggle house was lovely:
It was directly over a small house, a whitewashed cottage with flowers blooming in the front and giving every appearance of happiness.
It’s really beautiful, the scene you’ve created with this. So peacefully – it really reminds me of little farmer cottage in small villages, way out in the countryside, nothing else around for miles. It’s dreamily. And it’s a shame that death had to destroy this quiet scene. But then again, the grotesqueness of the dead on this house which is untouched is a beauty in its own – it’s so contradictory. I really liked that.
And I always wondered who would kill them. Who would come and take the lives of these four, very friendly, so innocent people? No one else than Bellatrix of course. And this although she still was in school. I always knew she was a person to better not cross, but she fits completely for this killing.
What I had a problem with was this quick pacing you had with Rodolphus and Bellatrix’s discussion about killing the family. He’s strictly against killing innocent people up to that point, but she only needs to threaten him with his own life and he decides to kill the Muggles? That’s in my opinion a little bit too quick.
“No,” I choked out. “I can’t kill them. Bellatrix—”
“Either kill them or die.”
“Anything else. Please,” I begged.
“I will kill one, and you will kill the other. If not, I will kill you, do you understand?”
I nodded. “When?”
The beginning was really good; he contradicted, he pleaded – he didn’t want to kill them. But she kept pushing him. And sure, when it comes down to your life or those of others, you’re most likely choosing to save your own neck, but you could have written Rodolphus even more hesitant about it, making this discussion longer. Yes, he’s going to choose his life in the end over the ones of the Muggles, but he could have put up more of a fight against Bellatrix. She’s only a girl, after all, only 17. And he had his wand. Why didn’t he fight or maybe even kill Bellatrix? That would have solved some problems. No one would know he killed Bellatrix. He was – if I remember correctly – on the run anyway, so why not simply kill her and disappear completely? This way he’d prevent two things: killing the Muggles and having to join the Death Eaters. That’s of course just my theory, so I’ll stop the babbling at this point and go on with your story.
I stared as her eyes slipped back into focus, and she waited for me to speak. But I had nothing to say. I knew then that Bellatrix was, most definitely, all that the Dark Lord could want in a follower. She was cruel, loyal and strong. But it was more than that, I knew. Most people join the Dark Lord’s ranks because of power or fear. But Bellatrix had joined because of something else. She wanted to, which I knew was what set her apart and made her so desirable.
I really liked that paragraph. It showed in a really fantastic way what Bellatrix felt being a Death Eater, why she wanted to be one in the first place. This paragraph in combination with the one where she tells Rodolphus about first meeting Voldemort is just great, absolutely brilliant. Good work.
“Rabastan has requested to be the one to kill you if you should choose not to become one of us.”
These words by Bellatrix and at the end of the first chapter promise a very interesting second one, and I’m more than excited to read how the story goes on.
But before I continue, I want to tell you that relatively early in the beginning you missed a period at the end of a sentence. But apart from that I haven’t noticed one single mistake. Bravisimo.
Maybe I still couldn’t be fully trusted, but if the Dark Lord searched my mind and found I was loyal to his most faithful servant — and thus to him — he might let that be enough.
That sentence took me completely by surprise. What a decision Rodolphus made there. Wow, just a plain simple wow.
I’ll keep the review for chapter two relatively short, since I’m dying to read the third chapter and end of the story. You’ve got me hooked and very interested of how this turns out. Of course, one might now argue we know how it turns out – he’s going to become a Death Eater. After all, that’s what he is in the books. But still there’s the little bit of hope he might decide otherwise, despite the facts we have from the book and despite the above mentioned sentence that Rodolphus was going to be loyal to Bellatrix.
The second chapter was well paced and showed very well how Rodolphus thought, even pondered about his options, how he tried to find a way to see what was attractive in killing innocent people. He compared himself to Vaughn, and although he had seen similarities to begin with he soon found that both were completely different – and all only because of reading Vaughn’s diary. Well done, I liked this chapter.
One tiny thing though I’d like you to notice:
“You cannot be trusted to remain on your own.” she answered, rolling her eyes as if the answer was obvious.
“Answer” is singular and the “were” should therefore be a “was”, I believe. But other than that: Bravo-bravissimo.
My first reaction: awww. *snief, sob* My second reaction: look further down ;p
I’ll start this review off with three tiny nitpicks I found before fully commenting on the last chapter:
In the following sentence you misspelled two words. I added the missing letters in bold:
At the same time, I felt the strangest feeling of calm come over me
In the following sentence you chose a wrong tense. It should be as follows instead of “walking”, like you had it:
I walked out of the shed and easily found the road.
And in this insertion I guess you missed the bold written word – otherwise this part of the entire sentence didn’t make too much sense, at least not to me:
[…] I assumed it was my last real smile […]
And now: *applause – standing ovation* Alison, I loved your last chapter. This was so deep, so emotional, so fantastic – I can’t begin to describe what I felt about your final part. Rodolphus was still self-doubting and second-guessing his motives. Was he really doing the right thing? Yes and no at the same time. Exquisite, really awesome. I liked especially the following part where you showed beautifully what went on inside him:
A drop of moisture fell onto the photo, blurring John’s face. Horror began to rise in my stomach as I stared at the faceless man — it could have been me. I could almost see my own face in the photo, but then it was gone.
At first I thought the drop of water was rain, but there was an unfamiliar feeling in my eyes, and I knew it was a tear. I grew embarrassed, but was almost hypnotised by the faceless man… It could have been me…
It so easily could have been me.
I felt anger at the timing of this weakness. I had to be strong for once, if only for a few minutes. I sent a jet of fire from the end of my wand, and it struck the photo. The fire burnt my hand as well, but the only pain I was feeling was from deep inside of me, where my entire being was screaming in agony. This was the one good part of my life, and it had lasted only hours. Now it was gone, and I was without even the photo as a reminder. I stared at the ashes as they fell lightly. Then the wind came softly, and took even the ashes away from me.
This is my absolutely most favourite part of the entire story. *sigh* I love the picture with the ashes in the wind, this is brilliant. Also the titles for the chapters and the title for the entire story are just terrific. Really, really good. Exceptional work.
Nor to the other path I could so easily have chosen or the fact that I used to be so sure that I wasn’t meant to be a Death Eater.
All I knew was that I had chosen to be a Death Eater, and nothing anyone could do would change that.
This is just like what Dumbledore always said: It’s our choices that form us, not what we’re born to be. A choice defines a person, not what status he/she was born into. You’ve captured this truth to the very core, and Rodolphus has chosen to become a Death Eater, to be with Bellatrix, to follow her. Because – and I’ve kind of waited for this the entire time of your story – he had fallen in love with her. Romance in a relatively violent story – wonderful plot you’ve thought off there.
What I just now notice – at the end of the story *rolleyes* – is that you used first person narrator. I’m really fond of this technique of writing a story, because this allows you as the writer to delve into the story with your character, and the reader is able to experience everything from the main characters POV the entire time, feeling and suffering with the character. You did wonderful use of the first person narrator; I liked it a lot.
And to finally come to the very end:
I again felt a gentle breeze blow on my face, but forced myself not to think of the ashes the wind carried.
One of the best last sentences I’ve ever read in a story. Really fantastic.
Alison, I have respect for you having participated in the Gauntlet with this story, and two thumbs up from me – despite the part I discussed in my review for the first chapter. I nonetheless liked your story very much, and it was a pleasure to read it. Go on writing this fantastically.
Summary: It was a time of terror, a time of panic and confusion. It was a time when death and pain ran rampant, and shadows sought to destroy the Light. It was a time when friends and family feared for themselves and for others. It was a time when Darkness threatened to overcome the Wizarding World. It was a time of death ... but also a time of life. It was the time of the First War.
[Sequel to Part IV: Recognition of the Sirius short story collection, Shades of Black.]
Argh! Why is the chapter over already? I want to read more! Please do not wait too long for another update, that’s so gripping. You can’t let us hang there without knowing how it will continue. Wonderful chapter. Enjoyed it very much. Pity for Sirius that his plan to overpower Bella didn’t work…
Author's Response: Ah, luinrina, I could always be an evil author and let weeks pass before I give you the fourth chapter ... but I won\'t. I\'m working on editing chapter four now, and as soon as I finish writing the fifth one, I\'ll be posting Chapter IV.
You\'re right; it is a pity Sirius\'s plan didn\'t work, but as much as I love the guy, I have to allow Bella some fun, too. It increases the angst factor!
But anyway, thank you very much for reviewing!
First of all: Yay, a new chapter! Second: Wow! Megan, you've again blown me away.
Like in Recolitus Optimus as well as in its sequel Adoris Integare you've really mastered the "prophecy"-like talk of the little girl. I think I understood most of it and could assign names to the characters you mentioned, and now I'm of course waiting on tenterhooks to see where you're going with this story. I wonder where you take the ideas from to write such poems/riddles/prophecies, it seems to be your strongest talent (next to wonderfully write, of course ;p). Everything rhymes and makes sense (or will be making one at the end of your story). It sometimes feels like you're a seer yourself and every-day-used to talk like that.
What I found charming was the hotel, both visible and accessable for both Muggles and wizards, and that the Muggle staff seems to know about the wizarding world. And although Peter is not my most favourite character, you've written him very well. He's portraid like a normal business man, and one wonders why he changed and did what he's done.
Pacing with Prongs was really realistic; I could feel his inner turmoil myself, the hectic, the not-knowing whether or not his best mate is well. I'm looking forward to what will happen when Dumbledore and the Order arrive back at the manor.
I'm kind of put out, though, that there was nothing said about what's happening to Sirius, but I think you'll make up for it in chapter five? Megan, congratulations on another beautiful, most enjoyable and easy readable chapter. You've earned yourself a triple "Hurray!".
Author's Response: Well, firstly, I\'ll thank you for simply reviewing, and secondly, I\'ll thank you even more for the *length* of the review. I like those longer ones, of course.
I\'m glad to hear that you enjoyed the prophecy. I wanted the \"names\" to not be *too* vague, yet I didn\'t want it to be hit-over-the-head obvious, either. Figuring out the rhymes, I\'ll admit, is the hardest part for me, but you are right in that, by the story\'s end, everything will make sense (if I do my job correctly, that is).
Ah, Peter. I actually can\'t stand him, and hate him more than any other character in any other book/movie/show/etc. that I\'ve ever come across. However, I try my best to be 100% fair to his character. At this point, he\'s still a good guy, yet since the majority of this fic will be canon compliant, you already know the main way the Marauders\' story will end.
Glad to hear you thought the James scene was realistic as well. I was hoping that it would be that way, have the right emotion, etc. And yes, in the fifth chapter, the Order returns to the manor.
Sirius ... yeah, he wasn\'t in here, and originally, I\'d planned for him to come back in Chapter V. However, unless I change the next chapter completely, he won\'t be ... But I DO promise that he\'ll feature HEAVILY in the sixth chapter. His scene that was going to be in Ch.V was moved to Ch.VI, and that was just the start of it. So, while I apologise for the lack of Sirius in this one and the next, he\'ll be back in Ch.VI.
Thanks again very much for the review; I can\'t say that enough. I really, really appreciate them.
Oh, this starts off really great. I’m growing excited how the third chapter is going to be, so please don’t let me (and the other readers, too, of course) wait too long. Up to the end of chapter two: fantastic work done.
Author's Response: Well, thank you very much, luinrina. I\'m glad you\'re enjoying the story thus far, and don\'t worry. Chapter III is already written, beta-ed, and ready for submission to the queue. I\'d already have it up, too, but unfortunately, I have two stories sitting in the queue right now, and as that\'s the limit at one time, I\'ll have to wait until one of them is validated/rejected before I can give you the third chapter of TitA.
But thanks for the review, once again!
Summary: Ron and Hermione have feelings for each other, and they both know it, but neither will admit it. As Harry tries his best to simply ignore them, Ron and Hermione try their best to make the other jealous. Harry tries to put up with it, but sometimes you can't ignore these things...
This was a nice story, Heather, and you've very well caught the bickering moments of Ron and Hermione as well as Harry getting irritated by that. Really good. And the end was very sweet when both held hands with each other under the table. I like the story a lot.
There were some things though that I feel I need to point out:
First, I noticed some dialogue errors. Like in those sentences:
‘Neville!’ He said with a sigh of relief.
‘Everyone come down here quickly!’ He called.
In both sentences, the "He" after the speech must be written in lower case instead of being written with a capital letter. There were one or two more of these sentences in the story.
In the following sentences there is a comma missing. I included them written in bold:
Hermione didn’t see me miss the Quaffle, did she?’
‘So you’ve finally made a start on your potions essay,’ she said when Cormac was gone, ‘well, it’s about time.'
In the second sentence I'd also suggest to put a period behind ...when Cormac was gone. and start with a new sentence: 'Well, it's about time.'
In the following two sentences are several mistakes. I've corrected them, written bold again:
‘Oh yes, and you would know about kissing, wouldn’t you, Hermione?’ spat Ron.
‘What am I jealous of? The fact that you’ve got yourself a reputation as the school tart?’
‘No!’ cried Hermione, ignoring Ron’s comment. ‘Jealous of the fact that I have a boyfriend and that my boyfriend isn’t you!’
I especially like the last sentence where Hermione tells exactly what Ron is jealous of. And you've caught well the silence that spread in the room after Hermione had told this. Wonderful capture of the moment.
And apart from the mistakes I pointed out, the story is really good, Heather. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you, Bine! I'll go back and correct those right now. Thanks! Glad you liked it =] <3
Summary: These lives we live are not bright...
Petunia wishes she were a star.
These lives we live are not worth memory...
Peter wishes to be like his friends.
The lives we live are just tiles.
Regulus wishes he were alive.
Every life means something.
Wow... I'm impressed. That's really profound and describes perfectly how these three must have felt. Behind all three stands a really sad story and when I read yours, I was reminded of them. Congrats. Fantastic work.
Author's Response: Hey, thanks! There\'s a story behind everyone\'s lives and I like listening and writing about the ones no one listens to.
Summary: A rallying cry for the Order. I'd like to think that Tonks and Lupin stood in the front of the Great Hall before the final battle, and took turns giving this speech.
It's a wonderful poem. It has good flow and meaning, and it rhymes (important for most poems - at least for me ;) ). I really like it. If all your poems come out like this, you're going to be an even more brilliant poet one day than you are already.
Author's Response: That means a whole lot, coming from you. I love your stories and can't wait for an update in Shining Through Blackness!
Summary: “He rose up and up, higher and higher into the morning sky before angling his broom in a steep dive, only to right it again at the last possible moment. Faster and faster he flew, circling around the goal hoops, soaring over the stands, twisting and turning in midair to dodge invisible Bludgers.”
James Potter knew he was good; he knew he had talent. And this year, everyone else in Hogwarts would know it, too.
Great story, very detailed. Nice job, it shows that you are not without reason one of my favourite fanfic writers on this site. (I especially liked your notes at the end ;p)
Author's Response: Oh, thank you, luinrina. I love getting your reviews, and you compliments are making me smile! Oh, and A/Ns at the end ;) ... Yeah I have a lot of fun writing those. Glad to hear you\'re enjoying them!
Summary: James visits Remus over the summer and discovers something about his friend, Lily learns to love, and Remus realises James was right.
This really is a beautiful piece of art. I like music and stories telling about it, and I liked it even more that Remus played the piano and composed his own love song. It must really have been a wonderful piece since all three (James, Lily and Remus) were reminded of the person they loved most.
The story has a sad overall tone, and I feel mesmerised by it. But the more humorous part, for example the one with the cookies jar and where it is hidden *giggles*, has a unique touch to your story. Well done.
I noticed some minor mistakes:
1) “So what do what to do?” he asked James. --> I presume you wanted to ask "So what do you want to do?" here.
2) When he closed, clouds of dust made him cough and sneeze. --> That was probably meant as "When he closed it, clouds of dust made him cough and sneeze."
3) Cheesy, clichéd and overall downright embarrassing; aren’t those all part of love? --> Isn't here a word missing: "...; aren't those all a part of love?"
Exceptional fic. Congratulations, my fellow Hufflepuff.
Summary: When Lily Evans causes Remus Lupin to be humiliated in front of the entire school, he vows revenge. That's when he comes up with The Prank. It's guaranteed to make Lily's worst nightmare come true, if he can pull it off. And on his own...he probably can't. But with the help of Sirius Black and his Ravenclaw friend, well, anything is possible.
Now I’m curious what Remus and Sirius have planned. This should be fun since the first chapter was fun, too, and wonderfully written. Laughed a lot and expect to do so in the course of your story. Don’t let us wait too long with another update.
Author's Response: I\'ll do my best to get the next chapter up here soon!
What is a story without a scandal?
Underneath every burn hole on the tapestry of the Black family tree, there is a story, and underneath every story, there is a scandal.
In 1924, the Blacks were the most powerful family of the Wizarding World. They were greedy, back-stabbing, malicious, and power-hungry. And Cedrella was no exception. She was her father's favourite daughter; the pride of the Blacks, and it has earned her a conceited nature like no other.
But during her seventh year at Hogwarts, her life begins to become a little more clear, her family a little more conniving. She is arranged to wed the infamous Abraxus Malfoy and has people watching her every move to make sure she follows through. It makes it even more difficult when Septimus Weasley, a blood traitor and fellow classmate, starts to convince her, that for once in her life, she could have what she wanted.
A scandal forms between the two; a forbidden love between Black and Weasley behind the walls of Hogwarts. If they are found out, their lives will be ruined. But even under the opposition, what a Black wants...
a Black gets.
Wonderful, what a fantastic picture you’ve drawn of the Black Family. They are my favourite one and I’ll so sure continue reading your story. I found it great that you’ve given Uncle Sirius the same character his grandson will later have. And the sentence lecturing that every Black chose to go to Slytherin to not anger the family – superb; it gives an insight what will later happen with Sirius/Padfoot. Hurry up and please update quickly.
The Noble and Most Ancient House of ... Nevermind. by TCole
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]
Summary: Sirius Black was the complete opposite of every member of the Black family, save for Andromeda. What made him become this way?
He thought his brother, Regulus, was a complete git, and he disliked him even more when he became a Death Eater at the age of sixteen. How did Sirius feel about him while the two were growing up? Were they close, or did they never get along?
Wow, wow, wow. Fantastic beginning to what I imagine is going to be an even more fantastic story. I have always believed that Sirius loved his family, especially in his childhood, and that the change to what he eventually became started when he first met James, Remus and Peter. But no matter what happens to someone in the course of his/her life – you’ll always love your family, even if you say that you don’t.
Wonderful beginning. Can’t wait to read what you’re planning next.
Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! I like the scenes where you show that Sirius in fact had a normal and loving family relationship in his childhood, and that both boys were really close.
If your other chapters are like the first two, then I'm already the biggest fan of your work. Bravo and congratulations!
Summary: What would have happened to Harry if James had not been home the night Voldemort visited Godric's Hollow? If he had the chance to grow up with his father in a wizarding community, knowing what he represented and with people to turn to who are older than he is? Harry turns eleven years old and gets a letter from Hogwarts he fully expected to receive.
The first chapter has been significantly edited, with the help of a new beta.
Ohh… *sniff, dries tears*, I always wanted James and Lily to survive. That now at least James has, it’s going to be wonderful. I like to see more of your story that starts off great. Can’t wait to read what else you have. Bravo.
Author's Response: *chuckles* Thanks. It really seems to be a popular idea. ^_^
Argh… a cliff-hanger… and right when it turns out to get interesting… I presume there will be some argument? But don’t tell me, I want to read and find out.
Wonderful chapter. I like Brenna, she’s just so squirrelly; and fantastic dialogues you have there between her and the other characters.
Usually I do not think too much of Alternate Universe-stories and tend to mostly stick with canon, but this story is great so far and I enjoy reading it. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: I\'m usually not one to write AU, either. I\'m very attached to canon, but this plot bunny just intrigued me so much that I decided to go with it anyway. ^_^ I\'m trying to keep everything I can canon, though. Thanks so much for your compliments, and I hope you keep reading!
Summary: “Parked all right, then?” Ron asked Harry. “I did. Hermione didn’t believe I could pass a Muggle driving test, did you? She thought I’d have to Confund the examiner.
“No I didn’t,” said Hermione. “I had complete faith in you.”
- DH P604, UK Edition
The story of how Ron learned to drive.
Ohh, Hannah, that was a lovely piece. I loved it. I especially liked the specialness that learning to drive held to Ron and Hermione, their bond and quarrels over it as well as the humour that spoke out of Ron’s clumsy first tries. Really an excellent read.
I also found that you portrayed both Ron and Hermione true to what we know from the books. I found you gave them the typical characteristics they’re known for but also added the typical sense of adult responsibility, especially when the children are around. There weren’t many places where the children were actively a part of the story, but one of the reasons for Ron wanting to learn how to drive were his children. I love how you interwove the Weasleys’ family life so nicely into the story of Ron’s driving lessons.
What I found great, too, was the humour. The way you narrated about Ron driving into lampposts or stalling at traffic lights was fantastic. I enjoyed these funny moments; I laughed out loud every time. Probably my favourite part was Obeying her, he started the car, and pulled out of his parking space, only avoiding the cars in front and behind due to Hermione’s discreet wand work, though of course he thought it was all his own skill. *giggles* I can just imagine how Ron and Hermione’s everyday life looks like.
What I noticed though were a couple missing commas. For example, I noticed some absent commas in the sentences However during his first drive, when he almost hit a tree, a cat and their elderly neighbour, he was extremely glad of Hermione’s presence. and An hour or so later they returned to the house both feeling a lot happier than they had done in the morning. There should always be commas after insertions like “however”, “suddenly” or “an hour later”. Furthermore, when you address someone by name or title, directly in speech, the address is surrounded by commas. This is why there should be commas in front of “dear” in the sentence Don’t worry dear, just give him a few days and he’ll be back in that car. and in front of “Hermione” in the sentence What Hermione? I’m pretty sure you know these grammar rules, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to bring them to your attention again. :) Also, I’m usually not the nit-picker, but I found I had to point out the unnecessary apostrophe in Us Weasley’s are known for our tempers, but we can also be pretty determined when we want to be. It should be “Weasleys” only. I found that having two different sets of eyes look over my stories is much better than having just one beta reader.
Missing commas aside, the story was excellent. I enjoyed the flowing narration and the story you told. Fantastic work, Hannah, dear. Loved it a lot. :)
Winner of the 2008 Quick Silver Quills Award for Best General Story.
The first book in the Alexandra Quick series.
The war against Voldemort never reached America, but all is not well there. When 11-year-old Alexandra Quick learns she is a witch, she is plunged into a world of prejudices, intrigue, and danger. Who wants Alexandra dead, and why?
This story is canon-compliant with the Harry Potter universe, but the characters and settings are all original. I've put a lot of work into envisioning a world as detailed as the original series; I hope you enjoy it.
This started off good. The way you write reminds me of a book I've once read (I don't remember the title though). During the chapter I really had the feeling to sit with Alex, Brian and Bonnie at that pond and that it really was summer. And how you described the "attack" of the Redcaps - fabulous. For several seconds I really was afraid that she might not make it back home safely. I really liked the detailed description of the Redcaps.
All in all: Fantastic first chapter.
Summary: “We all know that all of the Time Turners were smashed during the battle with the Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic.
However, I, being the clever little witch I am, invented a time machine.
Have you ever wondered, what was the story behind the torn photograph Harry Potter found at Grimmauld Place?
So, let’s take a trip together. Back to 1981. July 31, 1981 to be exact.
Buckle your seatbelts and hold on, this may be a bumpy ride.”
This is sweet and very well written. I'm looking forward to read more.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. This story is finished, however, I have another plot bunny hopping around in my mind about another time of Harry\'s babyhood. Terri