This is really beautiful. The imagery is amazing. You have a natural talent for gorgeous writing that doesn't seem forced. I love the story as well. The relationship between Phillipe and Helen is perfect. I love that they don't marry. It's too rare that authors are brave enough to write a story about such brief (and realistic) relationships. They don't really mean anything but at the same time, they mean everything (if that makes any sense).
Just a little bit of nitpicking...
In the first chapter, you switch back and forth between past and present tense quite a bit. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it really disrupts the flow of the story...
Reaching down, I pluck little Marie off my boot and whirled her around while trying to, surreptitiously, shake some life back into my tingling foot...Wisps of silky, smoky hair tickled my ear as I shift her slightly on my hip.
That's something you might want to pay more attention to.
Anyway, it's a wonderful story. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I understand what you mean about the relationships, perfectly. There are many kinds of love and not all lead to forever. Thanks for catching my grammar mistakes- I wrote this in a bit of a hurry so at the time so I didn\'t have an opportunity for much proofing.
This is my favorite version of book 7. You are an incredible writer. This story really touched me and it's actually mingling in my head with the real thing. Thank you for letting us into your version of things...I love it!
Author's Response: Hi Aria, Thank you so much for the heartfelt review. It means a lot, especially since I know most everyone on this site is such a huge fan of JKR and the world or HP. I loved writing this story and I\'m glad many of you have truly loved reading this version, as well. It\'s been a pleasure.
I love this chapter! I can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it :) I\'m quite busy with RL right now but once it cools down the next chappy will be written in a jiffy!
So I had read all this before, but went back just to refresh my memory after reading the sixth chapter. I was just going to skim, but before I knew it, I was completely absorbed again. I've never read even a one shot twice but I just reread this entire story and it's still brilliant.
You are an incredible writer. Not only do you have a natural syle and grace in the structure, but your characterizations are brilliant. Each one is so different, so unique. So few authors are able to shift voice as flawlessly as you do. You really feel each different personality as you're reading. It's almost like a different author wrote each character. The relationships between the characters feel genuine as well.
I love that you use such obscure characters. I've never even heard Daphne Greengrass mentioned in a fan fic before, much less one of the main characters. Even though we know nothing of her, by the end of your characterization of her, I feel as though I know her as well as Harry.
Your story is amazing too. It's such a unique idea with so many unique details thrown in. Your view of the wizarding world after the fall of Voldemort is exactly how I would expect it to be (that is if the world were real :)) It's the most realistic take on it I've ever seen.
And you're really good at getting the tears going too. Simple lines like:
Suddenly, she felt her chin tremble and her throat constrict as she imagined Colinís father, the milkman, standing alone in front of his sonís grave in a Muggle cemetery, not understanding in the least why he had died.
could be a story of their own.
Anyway, you're brilliant. Keep writing, keep updating, and if you haven't written anything original you should. You'll be famous someday (that is if you're not already. I wouldn't be surprised).
Author's Response: Wow, I think that\'s the nicest review I\'ve ever had! I read it in the morning before leaving for school and it cheered me up for the entire day :) Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know what you think, I\'m flattered and genuinely pleased that you\'re into my story and that you like my writing style. I really put a lot of work into the characters and making their point of view credible and interesting, so it\'s very gratifying to see that a reader like you appreciates it. I try to be \"realistic\" (so much as that\'s possible) about what the wizarding world would be after the war, because I\'ve seen too many fics where everything is peachy keen and everyone is happy. I\'m more interested in the long, hard road to happiness than happiness as an actual state (and looking at your profile I can see that you\'re pretty much in the same state of mind). That\'s what I like to read and to write. Anyway, thanks again for all you\'ve said, it\'s really encourageing for a budding author like me (I\'m not yet famous, but it\'s definitely on my to-do list ;)) not only for my fanfiction but for my original work as well. I hope you keep enjoying this story as much as you do now.
For some reason I wasn't being notified when this was updated until tonight, but that just means I got to read more than one chapter at once! This is still great. I especially like Pansy and Draco.
"He may have the power to take our lives but it is within our power not to fear him."
I love this line. I really think it's the best line of fanfiction I've ever read.
The story is great. It's really well written and it almost had me in tears.
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m really flattered that you like the line so much because I was debating whether or not it fit well. I\'m glad I kept it in now. :)
Aww...I don't want it to be over. The conversation between Harry and Albus was so sweet. I've never read a better Harry as a dad scene. This whole story has been great. Thank you!
Author's Response: Thank you. I\'m having a hard time letting the story go myself. It\'s been such a joy to write and so much fun to live in this enchanted world for awhile. I\'m sure I will make a return visit at some point. Thank YOU for your comments. They are deeply appreciated.
Wow! This is absolutely brilliant. This is the most creative, original story I've read. You should absolutely expand it into a novel length fic.
I never expected that Hermione would end up in the life we know her to lead. Everytime I thought you were making a mistake or not making sense, the next line showed that you knew exactly what you were doing and were purposely toying with us.
This story really is great, and I would love more detail of her past lives, but at the same time I think the vagueness adds to the story. You give us just enough to wonder. Like with Snape: we don't know what he did to earn Hermione's respect and while I would love to know, it adds to the story that we don't. It's the same thing with Hermione's Dark Mark. I guess what I'm saying is that I would love to read a longer version of this, but just be sure it's something you want to write before you do it.
Wow...This is absolutely beautiful. It really has me in tears. Brilliant!
I love this. I love the idea and it's written very well.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your lovely comments =)