It sounds like the humor is a bit forced, I think that a good humor fic just flows right along and doesn't need any additions. I will still be looking daily for an update.
Author's Response: Yes, yes, I know, Chapter Three in my opinion just sucks. I'm not sure how I would change it and still keep the spirit of the story, though. I shouldn't have added all that stupid extra crap, yeah.
Huh? I don't get it....
Wow, I'm reviewing before honeydude...hm...I still don't get it, but it's pretty good.
Author's Response: What?
LOL!! AWESOME!! Too bad it sucks being a girl...believe me, I know! Update soon! ~10
Yay! I'm the first review for the second chapter! I hope the mods hurry it up....bra shopping, huh? Ron ogling him? I really love this story! 100/10!
Author's Response: My second 100!! =D
hehe, im before honeydude again! much funnier this time! What WILL happen to harry at "that time if the month?"
Author's Response: *Evil grin*
ok, I liked it, but it could be a bit funnier. Ah well, no matter. Hey, can you be a friend and R&R my story? It's called Harry Potter and the Dream that Wouldn't End. Thank you very much!
Author's Response: I did! It was good, I will read your other stories as soon as I get a chance! Chapter 2 is in the queue. It gets funnier!
LOL, not bad! I write poetry too, so I know how hard it is to get a good rythem (sp?) going. Keep it up! P.S. since I reviewed yours, it would be a nice thing to do if you reviewed mine. Just click on my name to get to my stories!
Author's Response: I agree, getting a good rythem (sp?) going is very hard. And I am going to review your stories as we speak...
Wow, the first to review! LOL, you got the babysitting deal exactly right, i know how it feels... update soon! ~10/10~
Author's Response: Thanks for the 10 !! :-D Look for an update soon !
I like the way that you put this in the mind of a Death Eater, very original, in my opinion. Most of the time you see poems from the Golden Trio or Voldemorts point of veiw.
If you don't update within the week I"'m afraid I might go into withdrawl.... I love your story. Abso-freaking-lutely LOVE it! Great character development, a clearly developed plot... this has all the makings of an awesome fanfic!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like this story. I've enjoyed writing it except this part I'm doing now that's making me crazy! It should be ready for validation in the next couple days or so. Thanks!
Understandable. Thanks for all 5 reviews you left for me =). Ah well, this IS MNFF, after all. They do screw up a lot, ha ha. You're right about nobody reviewing poetry, and to tell the truth I think that it's just sad. Poetry is as much a legitimate genre as any other, although friends of mine with chapter fics DO look down on the poetry.... hmm.... must ponder...
Author's Response: I've actually gotten more reviews for this one and the other poem than for my chapter fic...odd.
In the very beginning you had a nice rhyming pattern, but towords the end you sort of broke away from it, making it less effective. To tell the truth, that's the reason I prefer writing and reading free-form. You did a decent job of showing Neville's emotions, but you didn't really dig down deep inside of him and find out what makes him that way. You didn't show your audience what really made him tick. Generally I like it, but It'll only get a 6/10 from me. Keep working at it, because you've got a great start there!
Author's Response: Yes, in the beginning I started writing it in class, and the bell rang and I was interrupted. That disrupted my flow. Once I lost my flow, I really couldn't get it back.
All in all, I enjoyed it. Your style is there, and the meaning is clear, but the form is inconsistent. Not that that's a problem, but I feel that poetry should either have no form a a consistent form. But, I think that I might be biased because Ron/Hermione is my second favorite ship, only overthrown by Harry/Ginny. I dub it an 8/10.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, biases are hard in ships. I do agree with you, I'm a little inconsistant, I was trying internal rhyme in honor of Stephen Sondheim's 76th birthday, and it was my first crack at internal rhyme, and also, once again, the divided writing periods. Yes, usually my school doodles turn into poems, that's why they're a little inconsistent.
Wow.... that reminds me soo much of the guy I have a crush on it's not even funny. =) Love it. You showed all the things that come to mind when you think of Ron, INCLUDING the freckles. Just an awesome little touch, right there. I thought that it showed Hermione's feelings extremely well, and it also gave her one of those little girl qualities, first crush and all that. It was innocent, and I like that about it. 10/10, and job well done. *bows*
Author's Response: wow thank you so much! i wasnt getting like ANY reviews so i was jsut like ummm.......is it really that bad? thank you so much!!!!!!!!! you are so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the most part, it's decent. A few grammatical and spelling errors, but overall a nice poem. I like the free-form, but with the message you're trying to get across it might have been a bit better rhymed. 7/10.
Author's Response: thanks! but just for the record, poetry has no grammatical rules (actually it has no rules at all) and thats why i love it so much. but thank you SO MUCH for reviewing! i LOVE it when people do that!
*tear* *sniff* 9/10, I like your style
I'll give you more than 30 seconds, my friend. Geez, I'll even take the time to use proper grammar and spelling. =) So, your poem. For the most part, I enjoyed it. I thought it was well thought out and easily read. I like how you kept the identity of this "innocent looking" woman a secret, and I also like the way you describe her thoughts and reflections. I think a 9/10, which from me is an extremely good review. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review! I'm flattered that you took the time. Thanks again!
It seems very similar to the song in RENT... the one that Roger sings to Mimi when she's like half dead? Did you base it off that, or is it simply your own thought? Just curious about that part, I really liked it. I liked the free-form and short sentences, kind of reminds me of my poems. Keep on writing, and a 10/10
Author's Response: I seriously did not base it off the song in RENT, cuz I don\'t really like that part when Mimi\'s half dead because I feel its overdramatic. If it seems like it, that\'s because RENT has actually became a part of my life, and I probably based on it without realizing. I write free form because I can\'t stick to a set rhyme scheme, and I used short sentences because I wanted to make the point of being numb with emotion, and I actually was numb with emotion. I\'ve never read your poems, but I\'ll check them out. Thanks for the review!
IT'S AUNT MARGE!!