Summary: A poem depicting James' thoughts on the fateful night of Halloween 1981...and beyond. Written prior to Deathly Hallows.
I really enjoyed your poem but it's a bit hard to follow since your lines are always so short and almost choppy. I think if you used more linking words to make your lines seem more like short sentences, your poems would seem to flow better. A poem should make sense AND be enjoyable to read.
But I think the words you chose were goods one's and I enjoyed the way you ended it. You've got talent. :)
Summary: For some people, regret is a dominating force. Erika Delian knows it first-hand. After 13 years of self-imposed seclusion, regret is all she has left. But with the return of the only man she ever loved, she will be forced to confront his anger, as well as her own guilty conscience.
Sirius/OC Set during OotP
Aww, I feel sorry for Erika. She seems so lonely! Good descriptions and I hope we get to find out more about Erika in the following chapters. This one seemed kind of vague. :)
Author's Response: There will be a lot more info about Erika in the future, but I wanted to keep her a little ambiguous at the beginning. Thanks for the review!
First part in the "Lamenting Changes" series
Luna Lovegood has never been one to fit in with the crowd, whether she tries to or not, and the one main reason is because of her father’s magazine, The Quibbler, and the constant rubbish it seems to be printing.
Noah Wipple has always been one who lived by facts and avoided the ones who didn't, so when he meets Luna they automatically clash and Noah decides he must avoid the aggravating girl at all costs.
But fate seems anxious for some entertainment because when the students get assigned to write a report together in Transfiguration class, Luna is paired with Noah and this rather odd pair must learn to work together; even if it kills them.
Luna Lovegood/ Original Character
This looks like it will bea very fuuny story and from the way you started this first chapter, I think you're doing a great job. I also love your story, "Death Wish" and so I was checking on your profile, saw this story, and decided to check it out. It's almost strange how opposite the 2 are but I really like your writing style and I'm sure this will be just as wonderful as your other one. Hope you get lots more reviews and encouragements!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Yea... I recognized your name as a reviewer from my other story. It\'s appriciated that you show your support here as well. Lol. And yes.. I hope I get \"lots more reviews, too.
Ha! That was rather entertaining. This looks like it's turning out to be a really cute story and you did a good job of portraying Luna correctly. I've read some stories recently where people seem to be having trouble with her.
Again, I will mention how weird it is that this story is like the exact opposite of your other one, Death Wish. Lol. The chapters are longer, this one's more happy... It just seems opposite. But it's cute. ;)
Aww! This chapter was very cute, just like the rest of them. You did a very good job of making Noah's friend's personalities seem original and entertaining. Their names weren't quite so Muggle as the one's in Death Wish, either.
You never seem to have trouble portraying Luna correctly and I love it. She's always been a funky character to me, and I enjoy reading you doing her justice. Let's see what happens in Chapter 4, eh?
Author's Response: Thank-you very much! I enjoyed writing and creating his friends. The way Benjamin contrasts with Zechariahs is very fun to work with and I\'m glad you enjoyed it. :) Chapter 4 should be up soon. When I have time to finish writing and editing it. <3 ~Beauty Fades