Hi! I'm Alyssa, and I'm 16. I'm a busy sophomore. Harry Potter is my default "homework-break." I love to write, and I'm currently obsessed with the Next Generation. JKR is a genius for giving us all these characters so conducive to fanfiction. :)
Of Hair Products, Violent Trees, and Turquoise-Colored Robes by A Cappella
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart, the ever-vain wizard, has decided to take up teaching the Defence Against Dark Arts subject at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Follow him during his first day of school as he wrestles with back-talking students, unpleasant teachers, and absolutely no breaks in the day to style his hair.
Summary: Albus Potter is still worried about which house he will be sorted into, but on the train he gets to know someone unexpected, whose own personality is even more unbelievable than the friendship between them. Will the immediate bond help the boys be placed into their best-suited houses?
Summary: Harry Potter spent seven years hating Severus Snape. The enigmatic Potions master made life at Hogwarts miserable at times, yet was always acting in accordance with a much higher purpose than Harry could have possibly imagined. This is the story of how Harry came to understand, forgive, and honor the man who died to protect him.
Summary: Two scenes from the life of Severus Snape.
Summary: The Dark Lord pays Professor Snape a late night visit, with the intention of teaching Snape to fly.
Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Best Humor Story!
The Phoenix of the Order: A Potterized Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 69]
Summary: Having spoofed the lovely album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," I decided to do another one of my favourite albums: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SOUNDTRACK! And through Andrew Lloyd Webber's yummy songs, this spoof tells the story of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
So here it is, guys! (And girls, and koalas, and lampreys, and shrubs and parameciums and stuff.)
This is more a spoof of the soundtrack than the actual play... though if anyone records themself singing any of these songs, I would fall over from sheer awesomeness attack.
Summary: Ever wondered why Florean Fortescue was taken by the Death Eaters?
Lord Voldemort is on the quest to find the best, evilest flavour of ice cream, and he will stop at nothing to get it.
This is a very short, very silly and quite OOC little one-shot written as consolation for the fact that "E-Journal" is on hiatus. It's based on a prompt given to me by the ridiculously talented Inigoenigma.
Nominated for Best Humour fic in the Quicksilver Quills awards!
Summary: Well... it's high time that I did something so completely insane that the wizards in white robes dragged me off to the closed ward in St. Mungo's.
So, I spoofed the entire album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" by the Beatles, to be performed by your favourite Dark Lord and choice Death Eaters in the style of a rock opera. Eat your lonely hearts out!
I don't recommend this fic to those who are not at all familiar with the Beatles.
Summary: This is a missing moment from HBP. After Ginny tells Harry about Romilda Vane's comment about the hippogriff supposedly tatooed on his chest, she decides to draw a Hungarian Horntail on him with her makeup. One-shot focusing on Harry and Ginny's blossoming relationship.
Summary: The Marauders are having their first Divination lesson, and they quickly realize what a waste of time it is. In order to liven things up, Siriusmakes a few predictions without the aid of tea leaves. Obviously, he's no Seer, because there's no way James and Lily will ever get married, Peter will become an evil minion, or Remus will fall for Sirius' baby cousin... right?
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
Summary: As Harry begins to try to put his life back together, He starts to spend more time with friends of all ages, particularly Ginny and Tonks. After spending quite a lot of time with her, he begins to think that something isn't quite right. What is going on?!
Chapter Three has been submitted. Stay tuned!
I'm sorry, but I'm not currently working on this fic. I don't have time right now. I'm sorry if I've disapointed people. I hope to get it back up and running soon.
Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione make a trip to Godric's Hollow to visit the Potters' graves. There, Harry speaks to his parents for the first time, and in so doing, discovers that the dead are never truly lost. (One-shot. Bring your kleenex.)
Summary: Begins at King's Cross and continues at the Burrow the summer after 5th year. Ron confronts Hermione about Viktor Krum and learns a few things. A little fluff, a little angst, a little Fred and George...