please do not delete
I am a girl who lovess to write, as indicated by my username (and the fact that I am writing fan fic, possibly). Also, be aware, I am random.
Look! A bird!
I also enjoy acting, singing, and dancing in musicals. I have been the Evil Queen in Snow White, "Horace" in 101 Dalmatians, Cinderella in Cinderella, Eponine in Les Miserables, Mrs. Potts in BATB and many other roles.
I love a good parody or humor fic (coughcough schmerg_the_impaler Coughcough) and will read other fics as well.
AND I love the caption contest, in which I contribute to regularly as aliauthor or Ali when I'm too lazy to type in "author". Most recently was the 'Dumbledore is gay' voiceover caption that I completely plaigaraised from the poll that had been up for aeons...but I'm sure that's not why I won...
-Harry Potter series (no, really? Thats a surprise!)
-Anything by tolkien
-LES MISERABLES (a great book, even greater musical)
-Uglies/Pretties/Specials by Scott Westerfield (these books never get old, it seems)
-The Princess Bride (I love the tongue-and-cheek in this book that is better than the movie, though the movie is excellent as well)
-The Bartimaus Trilogy. All because of the footnotes. the footnotes are waycoolawesome and that djinn is AMAZING!
-The Dark Lord's Blog
-E-journal of an Evil Janitor
-The Harry Potter Literary Storm
-are we sensing a theme here, people?
I love love love:
-Death cab for Cutie
-showtunes (yeah yeah yeah!) especially Phantom of the Opera (potterized and original) and Les Mis
-Plain White T's
-lots of other music
-I enjoy blogging
-Going to the movies with my friends
-writing long, and sometimes short, stories. (gee I wonder how we guessed that already)
STORY INFO/ UPDATES:
Well, there isn't much to report here, but I will report it anyway since somebody might be a bit interested.
Les Half Blood Miserables:
Thank you, schmergo, for giving me the lovely idea! It's been rejected because of the crossover fic thing, so I'm trying to make it less...crossover-y.
...After the book
ever wondered what happened to everyone before the epilogue? Like OOCness, the muffins video on youtube, and silly stories? Then this fic is for you! I sound like a commercial! It's currently in queue.
give aliauthor more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
(I got this from the lovely MJ_Padfoot)
Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums: A Potter's Pentagon Love Story by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 265]
Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.
It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.
Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.
Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".
Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!
Summary: James and Lily spend their summers together producing plays, though neither are happy about the presence of the other. With James, as the set designer, and Lily, as the actress, tensions run high.
Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.
WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!
Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.
Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.
And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?
Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.
Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!
Summary: Voldemort knows it's great being the Dark Lord; it's a position he wants to keep. But even the most malevolent maniac can't stand when the forces of fashion conspire against him! A tale of organized mayhem.
Summary: WARNING! This story contains a jingle-bell antler headband, a shower of potatoes, boy/girl mushiness, underwear karaoke, family trouble, an excessively adorable werewolf, death, the song "Werewolves of London," betrayal, and the word 'Jordan' five times in a row near the beginning of chapter seven.
Twenty-one years after Voldemort's defeat, five fourth-years are faced with a new threat. Will all of the five stay true to the light side? Will they all emerge whole in the end? Will Jordan Potter ever get a life? You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gasp, you'll sigh! Part one in a trilogy!
Well, after much deliberation and consideration, I've decided to submit my future-gen trilogy! This particular installment is three years old, so it's definitely different from my current writing style, but I'm quite fond of the characters.
DH is disregarded. It's a total coincidence that one of the main characters is named Ted Lupin.
Starring Quicksilver Quills 2008 Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, and Emma Weasley, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin!
Five times nominated (once for each member of Potter's Pentagon!) for the Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards, and nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards...
Summary: Post Deathly Hallows.
Albus Potter's sorting ceremony ended less than cheerfully, thanks to a silly mix up. Now will Albus rise to the occasion or stay true to his lineage?
I think it's funny.
Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)
Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.
With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.
Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.
If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.
This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!
Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)
EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!
Summary: The Harry Potter Literary Storm has caused quite the sensation around the world, JK Rowling’s magnificent series of books touching the hearts of people of all ages. But what if Harry Potter was never written by JK Rowling in the first place? What if another genius was behind it?
Many thanks to the fantastic people who nominated this story for the Quicksilver Quills: Best Humour Fiction award. I'm truly flattered.
Chapter Seven, Part Five is now up - yes, that is the final chapter!
Summary: The Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters are locked in battle over a highly important magical artifact known to most as Voldy's Deathpants, in bold letters like that. However, they go about battle in a, er, highly unusual way-- a Quidditch match!
Probably the silliest thing that's ever appeared on this site, featuring highly OOC behaviour.
Deathpants is a team of writers consisting of Mind_Over_Matter, cmwinters, wendelin the wierd, and Schmerg_The_Impaler. Our story was written in Round Robin format. This (and our deranged minds) explains its randomness. Enjoy!
The insanity of the Deathpants has gotten to the mods! This ridiculous story WON the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Humour Story!
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
Summary: The most succinct summary ever!! My "Book 7" told with revolving POVs from Hermione, Ron and Harry's perspectives. It's got it all! Romance, mystery, intrigue, Horcruxes, humor, international travel, house-elves, new characters, Voldy, the Burrow, and at least one wedding...
Summary: A compilation of the most commonly used Harry Potter clichés in the fandom. Features Angsty!Harry, Sweet!Draco, Head Dorms, sudden romances in the forms of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny and of course, Draco/Hermione, because what's a cliché without them?
The Marauders also make an appearance in this fic, including Lily/Lily's best friend/Lily's other best friend.
Warning: mention of hippopotamuses inside.
Chapter Five is up! The story is done. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated this neatly tied bundle of ridiculousness in the QQ awards, I really appreciate it!