I promised a friend I would post this in my bio because she felt it was the most telling and honest thing I had ever written about myself.
“Hello, my name is Rachel and I am a functioning addict.”
In my head a chorus rings out in unison, “Hello Rachel”. If memory serves me right, next you are asked to display your shortcomings for all to see. I can only go from what I have seen on television, having never really been in a twelve step program. I start my story off by stating the facts. I have never used drugs. I only drink maybe twice a year. Although I have a healthy sex life I am far from a nymphomaniac. The extent of my gambling is a heavy loss of jellybeans to my daughter while teaching her poker. Having listed most of the common addictions, most would wonder what has such a strangle hold on my life. At the moment my brain is all consumed by “The Boy that lived”. Even though J.K. Rowling’s amazing series has inspired millions of our youths to turn off the TV and read, mine is a fanatical obsession. From daily hits on Mugglenet to becoming a devout mugglecast listener, I have let my newest obsession take over too many aspects of my life.
My life seems to be a succession of obsessions. I remember being as young as 5, obsessed with “Annie” the musical. So obsessed, I might add that I tried out for the part of an orphan. Thank god I can actually sing because that really could have been embarrassing. From Annie, it became Duran Duran and a line of others too long to list. What is it about me that I need to go from admirer of talent to superfan? Then one day it dawned on me. I have an obsessive personality. I am an addict, addicted to the high I get from these obsessions. Be it upbringing or “moral fiber” I never went down the windy road of the classic addictions. I had found a functional form of addiction. I could live my life day to day and function in normal society. Some of my close family and friends might have to deal with excessive rants about my chosen obsession but are tolerant out of love. In no other way does it outwardly appear that I am addicted. I care for my children well; I feed my husband a homemade meal every evening. I know it is cliché but I really am Suzy homemaker. I portray this façade to everyone, except those who are just like me.
Now it may be hard to believe but I get a physical high off of whatever passing fancy or celebrity I obsessing over. When I had the opportunity to get together with others who felt as I did, there was a heightened euphoria. One of my stronger obsessions was with the show Roswell. I traveled to Los Angeles by myself and met with friends I had connected with over the internet. Even though I had known these people for only a short amount of time the connection was instantaneous. We felt a sense of belonging with each other. One friend outside of my obsession referred to them as my drug buddies. These were people who my friend felt facilitated the high and even add to its intensity.
Having felt like a mental outsider, finding others who either share my interests or understand them is a rare find. This fan event it was like finding a Mecca to which my brain could travel to. As I write this I realize how odd that might sound to some. When your brain is in a constant state of multiple thoughts, you tend to need a vacation from yourself. Your life becomes a routine in which your body follows the actions it requires to live. Your mind however is entangled in so much that your frenzied synapses require a constant thought to focus all your mental energy. That generally becomes the obsession.
After much soul searching and deliberation, I have now decided that it is best to follow the obsession as long as it is not harmful to anyone else. As long as you have a firm grasp on reality and there have been no restraining orders issued, who are you harming? I have walked away from some of my forays into fandom with friends I would never trade for the world and who have become part of my life. At worst I lose the time and energy I devote to my obsession. At best this obsession provides me the mental escape I need to function through daily living.
I know in 12 step groups they end with the serenity prayer. It here seems appropriate too.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Which HP Kid Are You?
Summary: Ten years have elapsed since Dumbledore's death and McGonagall has Hogwarts back on its feet again. Hermione and Malfoy both teach at the school. But when a new teacher is hired to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, everyone seems to feel that they've met him before. A story of mystery, passion, friendship, and jealousy… not to mention that Harry Potter has been missing for ten years and Voldemort is dead. (All violence is mild).
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Disclaimer: I own my imagination, JK Rowling owns Harry Potter.
Summary: Tzipporah Stein, a Jew living in Vienna, Austria on the eve of WWII, is shocked when she gets a letter telling her she is a witch. The volatile state of Europe as it waits for both a muggle and a wizarding war to begin has prompted Hogwarts to take in students from many countries. How will Tzipporah handle magic, mischief, and even a little romance while trying to be true to her religion and culture at the same time?
Summary: Harry Potter disappears immediately after defeating Lord Voldemort, and the circumstances all point to him being dead. But when has Harry ever been known to just roll over and die? Join Harry on a journey of self-discovery to find the family he never knew he had.
Summary: A man from Interpol comes to question Harry Potter as part of a murder investigation. How will Harry react? And how will this affect his search for Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes? Plus, the question we all want answered: What will happen with Ginny?
This story picks up immediately after HBP, and is very slightly AU. But hey, aren’t they all?
Summary: Everything in life has a “what if?”
What if Voldemort didn’t try to kill Harry in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic? What if he used the Cruciatus curse instead? What if Dumbledore didn’t come to the rescue until ten minutes after the curse had been executed? And what if Harry had been held under said curse for all ten minutes?
All the answers and more lie ahead…
Slightly AU as it is an alternate ending for Order of the Phoenix. Check out info. on this story on my profile!
***Nominated for a Quicksilver Award***
Summary: Dumbledore is dead and Harry is left alone… or is he? An unexpected ally appears to help Harry in his quest to defeat Voldemort. But Harry is running out of time and Voldemort is pressing down hard. He’s determined to get rid of his last remaining obstacle, Harry Potter. Can Harry find all the Horcruxes before it is too late, even with a new ally? The story will include romance, adventure, mystery, murder, betrayal and much more. There will be also some unexpected twists. This story has been abandoned. See the finished version at HPFF!
Summary: Sequel to A Stolen Past. Please read that story first, as this one really won’t make sense if you don’t.
Harry Potter has rejoined the Wizarding world after a year-long absence, but still has no memory of his time at Hogwarts. Will he ever get his memory back? Will he be able to pass his classes without it? And most importantly, will he ever be able to defeat Lord Voldemort? Read on as the last of the mysteries introduced in A Stolen Past are finally revealed.
This is a story of friendship and mystery, with a healthy dose of H/G thrown in for good measure.
Summary: As his seventeenth birthday approaches, Harry Potter has many things to think about-not the least of which is Voldemort. How he will defeat the Dark Lord, how his relationship with Ginny will work out, and whether he will attend Hogwarts are just some of the things in store this year!
This is not just a romantic fanfic, but an attempt to write what could possibly be the seventh book. I have tried to emulate JKR and make my work fit into the world she has so masterfully created. The feedback I have received so far has been very positive.