Hi! I'm flying phoenix, and I won't be writing any stories - under this penname! However, I will be writing alongside a friend and we'll send our stories under her name - I think it's r_u_sirius_im_joquin But I could be wrong...
Be on the lookout for some pretty cool stuff from us. We have several humor fics, a christmas story, and some sweet but comic LE/JP romances to write - so get yourself excited!
Of our duo, I'm the stupid one, and I'll be the one you don't want to see writing from. However, my counterpart is brilliant, so for her sake I ask you to put up with me. I'm really sorry if you're even reading this right now - it must be lowering your I.Q very rapidly. Of course, I really see no reason for anyone to read this, as I haven't written anything.
So if you're reading this, I wonder why you're wasting your time in such a meaningless way?
However, I am grateful that you care about me enough to read all this nothingness, so I won't send you to a psychiatrist...yet...
So, stay tuned for anything affiliated with flyingphoenix!
Love and Hate,
Summary: "Some mistakes are too much fun to make just once."
After Lily Evans, Head Girl of Hogwarts, starts a food-fight with James Potter, Head Boy of Hogwarts, they are both given detention for the rest of the year, and are assigned a 'detention journal', which the staff say will help to settle their 'overwhelming and disturbing differences'. We have come across Lily's journal; her take on why the whole affair ever started, her intriguing relationship with one ‘supreme git of the galaxy’, the extents to which she will go for revenge and where it will lead her...
"And if for some unknown reason you come across this, Potter, and the paragraph above does not manage to penetrate your unusually thick head and convince you of my stupendous dislike of you, I hope the following sentence helps: I HATE YOU!"
Summary: James and Lily spend their summers together producing plays, though neither are happy about the presence of the other. With James, as the set designer, and Lily, as the actress, tensions run high.
Summary: Fred is dead.
But that's just the beginning! Because one of George's ears is up in heaven, and the other is down on earth...
Oh, the possibilities!
Written for the Next Great Adventure challenge on the MNFF beta boards. I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Twice nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts Story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Summary: We love writing stories about our favorite characters in our favorite universe. But what do those characters DO when we're taking a break, suffering from writer's block or abandon a story? A 'behind the scenes' look with a lot of cliches.
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
Summary: Dumbledore is going senile, Ron's eating is out of control, and poor Hagrid... will he ever realize his true strength before he kills someone?? This starts off at the beginning of the school year and ends with a detailed account of how Harry finally defeats Lord Voldemort. I poke fun at stereotypes and clichés in fan fiction, and even joke about some things in the actual books. It’s pretty much everything – in a nutshell (or is it nuthouse?).
Summary: A compilation of the most commonly used Harry Potter clichés in the fandom. Features Angsty!Harry, Sweet!Draco, Head Dorms, sudden romances in the forms of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny and of course, Draco/Hermione, because what's a cliché without them?
The Marauders also make an appearance in this fic, including Lily/Lily's best friend/Lily's other best friend.
Warning: mention of hippopotamuses inside.
Chapter Five is up! The story is done. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated this neatly tied bundle of ridiculousness in the QQ awards, I really appreciate it!
Summary: What if, all the world's a stage, and the characters of HP fan fiction are actors? This is the story of what happened between 'gigs', when characters meet in the Great Hall to share their complaints about how they're portrayed. Dumbledore has been rooted out of retirement after 'dying', James has doubts about Harry's paternity, Remus rants, and Voldemort does a Gilderoy.
In short, mayhem ensues.
These are not Jo's sterling characters. This group of players has been forced to enact some of the most atrocious parts in fan fiction-dom, and they're all primed and ready for the casting grouch.
Summary: Lily thought she was in for a boring summer... but James Potter had other ideas. Love Letters, with a rather bizarre twist.
Summary: The reign of Voldermort comes to an end, and with it ends the prestige and power Lucius Malfoy once had in the Wizarding World. In order to regain the respect of his fellow wizards and to make them believe that he has turned over a new leaf (which he actually hasn't) and has graciously accepted muggles and Mudbloods, Lucius asks Hermione, a Mudblood, to marry his son, Draco, a pure-blood. Obviously, they both refuse, but Lucius isn't going to give up easily. After all, he wants his status back. He still has a few tricks up his sleeve and is determined to play match-maker. What happens next is a series of events that serve only to bring Hermione and Draco closer, both literally and figuratively speaking. Read to find out how this one unseemly proposal causes absolute chaos in their lives! THIS STORY IS NOT HBP and DH COMPATIBLE! Hey all! Check out my personal info for the expected date of the next update. =)
Chapter 6 is 40% complete
Summary: Holy cream-filled cadaver! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Az-No-Fans! is what God meant to create when he slipped, took a nosedive and accidentally created what we call earth. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Az-No-Fans is the perfect world in which we were all meant to live. It is perfection. READ IT OR FOREVER REMAIN IMPERFECT.
Summary: In the years following Voldemort's victory in the second war, Muggle-borns must become slaves and servants to pure-bloods in order to survive. Over time, Hermione Granger has learned to suppress her pride and independence in households where she is considered lower than dirt. She thought she would be prepared for this new family, just like she was for all the previous ones. What she didn't know was that this new family was none other than Draco Malfoy's. Will she manage hold up when she finds herself struggling to withhold her sharp tongue, returning hatred, and...something else?
The last chapter of this story has been posted! Thanks for reading :)
Thank you to everyone who voted "The Sweetest Sin" as the Best Tearjerker in round 4 of the Dramione Awards!
Thanks to some of my amazing readers, The Sweetest Sin has been/is being translated into seven languages: French, Italian, Russian, Portuguese, Czech, Latvian, and Chinese. If you would like the links to any of the translations, please e-mail me or leave a review :)
Summary: Parody of the Harry Potter series written and completed before the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It looks at the lives of some of the major characters as they wait impatiently for book six to arrive. Naturally, chaos ensues. Suitable for all.
Winner of the first annual Quicksilver Quills Award 2006 for best humor fiction. Thank you!