Hi. It's me. Nothing much else. I'm working on some fanfiction, but it isn't too good, but it's slightly funny. OK then... check out my favorites to laugh your... uh... arms off.
Currently addicted to: Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi, the Unseemly Proposal, anything by Hutchinson, and the Dark Lord's Blog.
Favorite Ships: Hermione/Draco, Harry/Ginny, Hermione/Krum (they're meant to be!), Tonks/Lupin, Voldemort/Bellatrix, Voldemort/Narcissa, Lord Mouldy Shorts/BlondeD (Blog!), and almost anything funny.
3rd-5th Years • 171 Reviews
Fred is dead.
But that's just the beginning! Because one of George's ears is up in heaven, and the other is down on earth...
Oh, the possibilities!
Written for the Next Great Adventure challenge on the MNFF beta boards. I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Twice nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts Story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards!
1st-2nd Years • 66 Reviews
This fanfiction writer laments the loss of her favourite dark lord in a re-donk-ulous poem.
This is not very complimentary to Volders, so don't tell him about it if you see him around, okay?
Deathly Hallows spoilers.
Four times nominated for Best Poem in the Quicksilver Quills Awards!
3rd-5th Years • 57 Reviews
Summary: “What people don’t realize is that Sirius Black is a false name...the man people believe to be Sirius Black is actually Stubby Boardman...
Kingsley Shacklebolt is sent to question Stubby Boardman, a former pop singer who has lost his luster. A simple task? So it would seem...
1st-2nd Years • 81 Reviews
What if Ginny hadn't been there after Harry won his Quidditch game? In his euphoria, Harry would have fallen for someone else, of course. And who could that be but the beautiful foreign exchange student, Mary-Sue!
A Mary Sue parody!
Warning: Extreme OOCness follows. All of the warnings this fic has are based on not-to-be-taken-seriously situations!
1st-2nd Years • 256 Reviews
It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)
Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.
With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.
Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.
If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.
This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!
Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)
EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!
1st-2nd Years • 1349 Reviews
What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
3rd-5th Years • 329 Reviews
A compilation of the most commonly used Harry Potter clichés in the fandom. Features Angsty!Harry, Sweet!Draco, Head Dorms, sudden romances in the forms of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny and of course, Draco/Hermione, because what's a cliché without them?
The Marauders also make an appearance in this fic, including Lily/Lily's best friend/Lily's other best friend.
Warning: mention of hippopotamuses inside.
Chapter Five is up! The story is done. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated this neatly tied bundle of ridiculousness in the QQ awards, I really appreciate it!
1st-2nd Years • 49 Reviews
Have you ever wondered how the Dream Diary Ron had to do for Divination his his fifth year was like? Well, here it is: Homework Assignment: Dream Diary by Ronald Bilius Weasley. Dive into Ron's subconcious, explore his dreams and read up his comments on them. Do they maybe show the future? Do they merely show his wishes? Are they just weird? Or is Ron - going crazy?
1st-2nd Years • 114 Reviews
What would happen if Harry woke up one day to find that he had spent the last seven years, not as a wizard in training at Hogwarts, but as an inpatient at a mental institution?
1st-2nd Years • 131 Reviews
Summary: Lowbrow. High-concept. Medium rare.
Magorian's back, and he's here to stay!
A/N: All right, who stole all my exclamation points!?
1st-2nd Years • 826 Reviews
Parody of the Harry Potter series written and completed before the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It looks at the lives of some of the major characters as they wait impatiently for book six to arrive. Naturally, chaos ensues. Suitable for all.
Winner of the first annual Quicksilver Quills Award 2006 for best humor fiction. Thank you!
1st-2nd Years • 982 Reviews
Harry writes a love note to one person...but someone else recieves it and gets the wrong idea. From here, confusion and chaos come about. Who is really sending the notes? Who really likes who? What is going on?!
1st-2nd Years • 723 Reviews
A series of hilarious journal entries and lists from Hermione, describing the insane "war" she has gotten herself into with Parvati. Insanity, and hilarity, ensue... A sequel to "The Secret Thoughts of Hermione Granger" (though it'll make sense if you haven't read it)
Note: Another story from "back in the day."
1st-2nd Years • 203 Reviews
A Christmas play about Harry getting a book of Christmas stories and he and Ron read them. (Lots of Parodies)
The first story: "The Flightmare Before Christmas". Ron gets the bright idea to try Christmas this year, and does this with the help of a magical horse that can fly.