I was born on a cold summer night in the middle of a soybean field. My mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries. Tragically, my parents moved to Jamacia, forgetting that I was watching my one true love, Television, in my room. The IRS took my house and left me all alone on the streets. Then, a miracle happened. I met Mr. Dancing Peanut, a poor, orphaned peanut not unlike myself. He quickly became my best friend, and we looked out for each other. He taught me the one thing he knew: Polka. We toured Lichtenstien dancing for the happy people. It was my dream come true. Mr. Dancing Peanut and I got married, and we live in a large house in Ghana made of rainbows, cupcakes, and almond butter. We opened a dance clinic in New Zealand. If you would like to take polka lessons from the experts, visit www.dancingpeanuts.com for more information.
P.S. Wasn't that the awesomest bio you've ever read? And the best part is, it's all true! Um . . . yeah! I swear it is!
If you've ever galloped through the streets/hallways banging two empry halves of a coconut together, copy and paste this into your profile. (It's fun, trust me)
If hearing the word "popular" makes you burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you belive in GOD put this in your profile.b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;b29;
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Schmerg_The_Impaler, Flobberworm93
3rd-5th Years • 771 Reviews
Summary: "Some mistakes are too much fun to make just once."
After Lily Evans, Head Girl of Hogwarts, starts a food-fight with James Potter, Head Boy of Hogwarts, they are both given detention for the rest of the year, and are assigned a 'detention journal', which the staff say will help to settle their 'overwhelming and disturbing differences'. We have come across Lily's journal; her take on why the whole affair ever started, her intriguing relationship with one ‘supreme git of the galaxy’, the extents to which she will go for revenge and where it will lead her...
"And if for some unknown reason you come across this, Potter, and the paragraph above does not manage to penetrate your unusually thick head and convince you of my stupendous dislike of you, I hope the following sentence helps: I HATE YOU!"
6th-7th Years • 11 Reviews
What happens when you mix the Chinese military, Magizoologists, militant animal rights activists, Tibetan nationalists, wizarding bureaucrats, and a mad escaped yeti (besides chaos)?
You yell yourself yellow of course! Whatever that means
But seriously, this is the alternately sober and stupid story of a yeti’s bid for freedom and the madness that ensues. Rated 6-7th Years
for substance abuse (Magic Pixie Dust
, anyone?), colourful swearing in four different languages (English, German, Spanish, and Mandarin!), and MAD YETI VIOLENCE!
3rd-5th Years • 87 Reviews
Five people from the different walks of life. One, born of the noble, was pampered; one, born of the dark, was disgraced; one, born of the ordinary, was extraordinary; one was cursed; and one… well, liked cheese.
Five children, five lives. Add five yellowish envelopes with green writing, and their fates are intertwined forever.
1st-2nd Years • 123 Reviews
Hermione is slowly losing her marbles and develops an unhealthy obsession with Snape – to his horror. The task of saving what is left of her sanity falls upon him of all people. What's wrong with Hermione and can he help her?
1st-2nd Years • 46 Reviews
Sequel to the parody 'Tom Riddle and the Half Blood Prince', which I am proud to state won the 2006 Quicksilver Quill award for best humor. Prior reading is advised, but not absolutely necessary.
1st-2nd Years • 56 Reviews
Fred and George Weasley are bored, now that their brother's wedding is over, nothing is worth staying. But when Mr. Weasley brings in another Muggle artifact called, Computer, and the twins learns to operate it, things are about to get interesting.
But once they managed to "hack" in the site called Mugglenet, the issue of who's the funniest came up, they decided to battle it out.
Once the results is up, things are about to get dirty.
I have fixed this fic: verb tenses and all. Thank you to those who made reviews and comments, you made me realize my mistakes, now I fixed it.. I am still waiting for a beta for my next fic but I don't think it will take too long. *throws confetti*
1st-2nd Years • 32 Reviews
A psychiatrist unexpectedly shows up on Voldemort’s doorstep one day and claims to be his therapist. A series of frightening and quite disturbing subjects are soon covered, including sunbathing, treacherous followers, unicorns, names, the hippie era, evil bunny rabbits, and hair. After each session, work becomes increasingly frustrating for Voldemort, until he realizes that the therapy has taken away his love for killing things. He angrily attempts to return to the life he used to have, but torturing Harry Potter and his dorky little friends doesn’t seem quite as fun as it used to...
Culminates in the final... er... battle? between Lord Voldemort and Harry.
Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills! R&R - and have fun!!!
1st-2nd Years • 1349 Reviews
What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
• 847 Reviews
Giving high school essays a Marauder twist, this fiction is centered around the idea that some seniors in high school are require to write a letter to incoming freshman before they graduate. At Hogwarts, Seventh Years are given an assignment to write such a letter for the new First Years. Sirius decides to actually take an assignment, well seriously...sort of. He decides to look back on his entire Hogwarts years and write down his list of things not to do at Hogwarts.