Summary:

Winner of the First-Annual Ravenclaw Quicksliver Quill Award for Best Humor, Wittiest Writing!

Snape didn't die, he simply joined the Witness Relocation Program. A funny slogan for an avatar, but what if some crazed author somewhere decided to write the story behind it?

On the run from all those who would want to see his head on a platter, Severus Snape is put through a series of tests. But between scantily-clad Ministry agents, seeing-eye elves, and an all-witch school and all the drama that goes along with it, he is beginning to wonder how much worse the alternative would really be.

Happy Birthday, Chante'!

Summary: After decades of hatred, a friendship begins...

Severus Snape wakes up after Nagini's bite in a hospital bed. He is dead, of that there is no doubt, but he cannot move on as the others who fell in battle have.

Why?

I am Equinox Chick from Hufflepuff and this is my entry in the November in-house banner/story challenge.

Author's Note: For this competiition, the writers in Hufflepuff picked banners designed by other Puffs and wrote a story based on the picture, title and catchphrase. The banner I chose was by Terri (mudbloodproud).

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I think it's safe to assume that you all know that.

I am indebted to the truly wonderful (and QSQ award winning) Emma (Amortentia x) who has beta'd this fic. Not only did she sort out my punctuation, but she had some extremely good suggestions throughout the story.

Summary: Severus Snape has taken a teaching job at Hogwarts, and he intends to teach, not act as a confindent for silly little students, thank you very much. But while he tries to keep himself as isolated as possible, there is one particular student who can't help but fall for the grumpy potions' master.