Well, for now there is nothing to say. My author page is empty, and will be for some time because, well my stories are half finished.
But here is my banner:
Summary: For once in her life, Hermione is faced with a problem she does not know how to solve...
Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)
Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.
With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.
Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.
If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.
This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!
Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)
EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!
Summary: Romance for three couples when Blaise and Luna use Shakespearean styled matchmaking to hook up Ginny and Draco. There's Much Ado about...something!
Nominated for a Quicksilver Quill for Best Romance-Non Canon 2007, 2008, and 2009. In 2010 mods changed the rules (they got tired of the same fics being nominated ^_~) so no more QQ hopes, but that's okay. No proof is needed that Draco/Ginny = love.
* Written before the HBP, this tale presents an alternate sixth year in which Dumbledore lives, Draco is more than a foil to Harry, and Blaise Zabini is a girl. I hope readers who ship Draco/Ginny will enjoy the story which includes dancing with faeries, Celtic and Norse mythology, school holidays in London and Spain, and loads of fantasy and romance. "Is this a kissing book?" (to quote the Princess Bride) Yes, it is. *
(Warnings were added for safety, due to brief allusions in later chapters, not graphic content.)
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
Summary: In the years following Voldemort's victory in the second war, Muggle-borns must become slaves and servants to pure-bloods in order to survive. Over time, Hermione Granger has learned to suppress her pride and independence in households where she is considered lower than dirt. She thought she would be prepared for this new family, just like she was for all the previous ones. What she didn't know was that this new family was none other than Draco Malfoy's. Will she manage hold up when she finds herself struggling to withhold her sharp tongue, returning hatred, and...something else?
The last chapter of this story has been posted! Thanks for reading :)
Thank you to everyone who voted "The Sweetest Sin" as the Best Tearjerker in round 4 of the Dramione Awards!
Thanks to some of my amazing readers, The Sweetest Sin has been/is being translated into seven languages: French, Italian, Russian, Portuguese, Czech, Latvian, and Chinese. If you would like the links to any of the translations, please e-mail me or leave a review :)
Summary: Giving high school essays a Marauder twist, this fiction is centered around the idea that some seniors in high school are require to write a letter to incoming freshman before they graduate. At Hogwarts, Seventh Years are given an assignment to write such a letter for the new First Years. Sirius decides to actually take an assignment, well seriously...sort of. He decides to look back on his entire Hogwarts years and write down his list of things not to do at Hogwarts.
Summary: Remus Lupin and Severus Snape, framed for murder and sharing a cell at recently overcrowded Azkaban. Will the dysfunctional pair make it out of their cell before the wolf comes out during the next full moon? ::set in a hypothetical sixth year where Dumbledore has vanished and Regulus Black, who returned mysteriously from the dead weaves a dangerous intrigue::
Summary: (Hi, I wrote this when I was 16, please keep that in mind. I'm keeping it up because people still like it.)
So, you want to be an evil villain? In this handbook that a certain Hogwarts student purchases, all of the rules, techniques, and frequently asked questions about evil villainy are explained. Do you have what it takes? And what will happen to the student who purchases the book? Another story from the strange, twisted, and slightly unfortunate Hermione's Revenge.
Summary: This tale of the teacher whom everyone loathes,
Accounts for his anger and elegant clothes.
It dripped through my mind when, too scantily cloaked,
I got caught in a rainstorm and throughly soaked.
WARNING: Despite the glints of humour, you will need a handkerchief.