Penname: Purple_Hippopotamus [Contact]
Real name: Emma
Member Since: 12/07/07
Website: Nope...
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Member
Bio:
Hello! Unfortunately, I have gone insane right now. Please leave a message after the BEEP. Okay? Thanks.

BEEEEEEEEP!

Whew... glad I got that over with. So, basically I am a 14 year old girl who is named Emma and who is mildly insane and extraordinarily hyper. I love making random jokes and completely random and innapropriate times which tends to drive my parents crazy but makes my brother laugh like a loony. Haha. Its fun.

I am completely and utterly obsessed with David Cook and I actually cried from happiness when he won American Idol. My friends say that he's ugly, but I think that he is one of the most adorable things on earth. Rock on, David!

Now.... here is some random information that will probably bore you to death but I feel like putting it here anyways.

Favorite HP Book: Deathly Hallows, closely followed by Prisoner of Azkaban

Favorite HP Movie: Order of the Phoenix

Favorite Non-HP Books: 'Warriors', 'Percy Jackson and the Olympians', 'Artemis Fowl', 'Alex Rider', 'Eragon', and a squintillion others that I don't feel like listing

Favorite Non-HP Movies: Um... almost anything Disney, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', 'Star Wars', and the Shrek movies

Favorite Food: Steak, mashed potatoes, salad, tacos, ice cream, and cake. They don't taste very good all mixed together, though. Not that I've actually tried it.... ewwness.

Favorite Ships: Ron/Hermione, Rose/Scorpius, Lily/Snape, Ron/Emma(me!)

Favorite Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Fred and George Weasley, and Luna Lovegood

Least Favorite Characters: Almost all of the Death Eaters, Draco Malfoy, Lavendar Brown, Cho Chang, and Viktor Krum

Okay, so if you guys are still alive after all of that, I guess you can stay around for a little bit more, eh? As you can see right now, I'm not much of an "author" but I'm trying to get some fanfiction up. I've actually written a lot but some of it is too darn stupid to put up and others are written on paper and I'm too lazy to type them. So, yeah.

I love writing and one day I hope to have a couple of novels published. If you ever see a book with my name on the cover, don't hesitate to pick it up! Actually, I'm working on a novel right now, but I don't know if it's any good.

I also love dancing. I take four classes a week and am in many shows. Its great fun and even though I'm not super-duper good, I still have fun. The only thing that I don't like are the tutus. Ugh... I look so weird in them... Lol.

My favorite fanfic in the history of the world is the Potter's Pentagon Trilogy by Schmerg_the_Impaler. Everyone in the world should read them as they are truly amazing, awesometastical, awesome-possum, spifftastic, and chillrific.

I think I'm done rambling. Adios!
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Favorite Stories
 

Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.

It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.

Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.

Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".

Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 122124 Chapters: 17 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/30/08 Updated: 06/04/11


Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!

WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.

It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?

New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.

Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 183223 Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/09/08 Updated: 03/15/10


Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.

WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!

Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.

Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.

And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?

Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.


Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 76214 Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/16/07 Updated: 06/04/08


Summary: WARNING! This story contains a jingle-bell antler headband, a shower of potatoes, boy/girl mushiness, underwear karaoke, family trouble, an excessively adorable werewolf, death, the song "Werewolves of London," betrayal, and the word 'Jordan' five times in a row near the beginning of chapter seven.


Twenty-one years after Voldemort's defeat, five fourth-years are faced with a new threat. Will all of the five stay true to the light side? Will they all emerge whole in the end? Will Jordan Potter ever get a life? You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gasp, you'll sigh! Part one in a trilogy!


Well, after much deliberation and consideration, I've decided to submit my future-gen trilogy! This particular installment is three years old, so it's definitely different from my current writing style, but I'm quite fond of the characters.


DH is disregarded. It's a total coincidence that one of the main characters is named Ted Lupin.


Starring Quicksilver Quills 2008 Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, and Emma Weasley, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin!

Five times nominated (once for each member of Potter's Pentagon!) for the Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards, and nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards...


Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 45143 Chapters: 10 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/18/07 Updated: 10/03/07


A Day at the Spa by Nevilles Girl
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 84]

Summary:
Dear Mister Snape,
We are very pleased to present you with this once in a lifetime offer: A free day at Deena’s Magical Day Spa! Just Apparate to the address below and present this coupon to redeem your prize! We hope to see you there!
Sincerely,
Deena’s Magical Day Spa


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1143 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/18/07 Updated: 09/26/07


Summary: Past Featured StoryWhat does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.


WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.


RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 12002 Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/23/06 Updated: 12/04/06


Dear Dumby by Oppungo
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 715]

Summary: What happens when Dumbledore has his latest "brilliant" idea, to start an advice column, and call it 'Dear Dumby'? Letters from some of our favourite Hogwarts students, some of our not so favourite Hogwarts students, some not even Hogwarts students at all, and, of course, lots of madness!

Pre-HBP for obvious reasons!
Nominee for the Best Humour Award in the Quicksilver Quill Awards! Many thanks to all who voted for it!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 18182 Chapters: 12 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/09/05 Updated: 09/08/06


I love...who? by Hermiones_Revenge
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 985]

Summary: Harry writes a love note to one person...but someone else recieves it and gets the wrong idea. From here, confusion and chaos come about. Who is really sending the notes? Who really likes who? What is going on?!







Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 13418 Chapters: 8 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/25/05 Updated: 03/26/05


Summary: A series of hilarious journal entries and lists from Hermione, describing the insane "war" she has gotten herself into with Parvati. Insanity, and hilarity, ensue... A sequel to "The Secret Thoughts of Hermione Granger" (though it'll make sense if you haven't read it)

Note: Another story from "back in the day."

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 14991 Chapters: 11 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/27/04 Updated: 01/24/05


Summary: Hermione describes her Ron troubles in this series of hilarious journal entries, notes passed in class, and lists. And...Mrs Norris is a duck?

NOTE: This was written quite some time ago, in my younger years. It was my first story...which should explain a lot.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5282 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/12/04 Updated: 11/25/04


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