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Potter's Pentagon: The Truth (Book Two) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.

WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!

Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.

Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.

And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?

Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.

Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!
Ratings: 1st-2nd Years [ - ]
Category: Next Generation
Characters: None
Canon Compliance: None
Warnings: None
Serie: None
Chapters: 13 Completed?: Yes
Wordcount: 76214 Viewcount: 54219
Published on: 11/16/07 Updated On: 06/04/08

1. Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Spends Most of the Chapter Being Surprised by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4723 words)
FINALLY! Here it is! Lots of references to Monty Python in the first part of the story. (Piranha brothers, anyone?) I also referenced Charlie and the Chocolate factory and Beatles. I hate having to reintroduce the characters, but I feel it's rather necessary... bear with me.

Jordan's love of computers was briefly mentioned in the last book and is addressed more in future chapters... I want to stress the fact that this is NOT a common thing among wizards; it is a Jordan Potter thing. Oh yeah... and I went by Giorgi for a year. I am not Giorgi in this story-- though her dress sense is an exaggerated version of my own-- but I do like Jordan.

As per usual, the rest of the story is much better than Chapter One, which has to be exposition-full as a rule.


2. Chapter 2: In Which Deja Vu Appears In The Form Of A Diary Of Dubious Origin by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4362 words)
Another not-very exciting chapter… but exposition is important. I referenced “The Sound of Music,” and a mention of Thomas Edison. I don’t own either, nor do I own Harry Potter. I do own my original characters, though. SO THEY ARE MINE! I apologize for the multiple exclamation points later on… it’s just something that makes Giorgi, well, Giorgi. I do not condone such punctuation.

3. Chapter 3: In Which The Champions Stood; The Rest Saw Their Better by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4239 words)
(In case you are totally wack and do not know this, the title reference's Neil Cicierega's "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny." Yes, Neil Cicierega IS my favourite humanoid on the planet. How did you know? ^_^

I don't own Harry Potter, the Beatles, Daffy Duck, or the band Queen. This is the last of the Exposition-full chapters before things get more interesting.


4. Chapter 4: In Which Ted Continues To Be Adorable by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4602 words)
The last of the OC's for this story, Charybdis and Arden, are introduced in this chapter. Charybdis is your typical pointless jerk, angry that she didn't win the tournament and still annoyed that her boyfriend Ophidias is in jail.I don't like people like Arden in real life, so I don't really like her in the story, but I needed a good contrast to Ted's attitude.

You guys better remember the potato joke.


5. Chapter 5: In Which Emma Enjoys Mild Insanity by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4369 words)
(One part of this chapter will seem inexplicably weird to you when you start reading it. Keep reading. Believe me, it'll make sense soon enough later in the chapter.

I don't own Harry Potter, the word 'hooloovoo' (it's from Douglas Adams's Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, but I just thought it was cute-sounding), the 'no bananas in the sky' song (someone on the internet a lonnnng time ago mentioned having a dream in which a DEMENTOR sang that song), or brief references to Finding Nemo and Loony Toons.

There is also a flashback in this chapter!)


6. Chapter 6: In Which Various French People Anger Various English People by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4824 words)
Nope, no one in this chapter calls anyone a "Silly English Pig-Dog." Sorry! In any case, I still don't own Harry Potter.

7. Chapter 7: That Romance Chapter by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (9933 words)
I still don't own Harry Potter.

8. Chapter 8: In Which Tyrone Does NOT Enjoy Brief Insanity by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (8876 words)
Hey! There were some serious glitches with the acceptance of chapter seven, but I'm glad it's up now.

There's some pretty weird stuff in this chapter, so allow me to explain. The "talking animal" stuff may sound odd, but I based it on the fact that Sirius seemed to be able to talk to Crookshanks. And the "MAVIS MAN" prominently figured in a dream I had at the time of writing this.

And for those of you who missed a good dose of Jordan Angst, rest assured that there's some in this chapter!

9. Chapter 9: In Which We Finally Learn Exactly What's Up by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (5923 words)
LOTS of stuff happens in this chapter. I realize it seems kind of rushed to have all of this happen after Chapter Eight and all happen in this chapter, but... I like it. *Sticks out tongue*

Ted'd disgusting cottage-cheesey snack is something my mom actually eats. Ick.


10. Chapter 10: In Which Our Heroes Get Ready To Rumble by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (7301 words)
Over this site's hiatus, I gained ownership of the entire Harry Potter franchise. PSYCH! No, I do not own Harry Potter, but I wish I did.
11. Chapter 11: In Which Ivy Gets Quite The Workout by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (4593 words)
Whew! The last chapter took quite awhile in queue! I was ready to change my name to Schmerg_The_Impatient! Well, I'm very glad it's up, and I hope you enjoy this one.. it's one of my favourites. As per usual, I don't own Harry Potter, but I do own my OCs.

I had a dream the other night that I was walking down the hallway at school, and for some reason I went into A lunch instead of B lunch (the lunch I have), and I sat down with Tyrone and this guy named Aaron who goes to my school and Zeke from High School Musical, and at some point I randomly started making out a lot with Tyrone. I remember feeling guilty because "he's Aku's boyfriend" (Aku is my best friend). We got detention for going to the wrong lunch, and we had to work at this weird boutique where everything was artsy and blue and we were trying to buy blue-framed glasses for Jordan, and Aaron and Zeke had this weird gang where they rode motorcycles and wore pumpkin masks and looked like that song from the animated "Sleepy Hollow" where Brom Bones is pretending to be the headless horseman and riding on a chair. And Tyrone and I just kept kissing the whole dream. It was odd.

12. Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (6595 words)
So, I found out that Vlad the Impaler, my namesake, was really named Vladislav. That's kind of cool.

I don't own Harry Potter. But I own his kids! He keeps trying to get them back from me, but he'll never vanquish me! BAHAHAHA!

Okay, sorry. Anyway, I kind of don't like this chapter. I didn't like it when I first wrote it, and it's been through a bajillion drafts and I still don't like it very much. Ah well. I don't think I can make it any better than this.


13. Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (5874 words)
It's the last chapter, kiddos! But don't worry, the next book will be up fairly soon. Yeah, I referenced Young Frankenstein... please tell me you get it. The Official Schmergo Art Contest is still open, and I'd just be thrilled if you entered. Have fun, guys!