MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.

Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.

Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.

Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.

But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton
Ratings: 3rd-5th Years [ - ]
Category: Marauder Era
Characters: None
Canon Compliance: None
Warnings: None
Serie: None
Chapters: 5 Completed?: No
Wordcount: 14816 Viewcount: 11011
Published on: 09/24/07 Updated On: 11/10/07

1. Prologue: On The Streets Of London by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (1072 words)
I LOVE Harry Potter, and I LOVE the Scarlet Pimpernel! So I had to write something about Harry Potter, inspired by SP. I do not own Harry Potter, or any incarnation of The Scarlet Pimpernel. The original book is by Baroness Emmuska Orczy. The song lyrics I twisted for my use in this chapter were originally from "Madame Guillotine," by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton in the musical version of "The Scarlet Pimpernel. Enjoy!
2. Chapter 2: In Which No One's Actually French Or Happy by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (3022 words)
Excuse my French because I, like Ted and Aberforth, I don't speak it. So the bar's name is probably horrible grammar. The Scarlet Pimpernel book is still by Baroness Orczy, and Harry Potter is still by JK Rowling. The beginning and ending songs I used were "Believe" and "Prayer" from The Scarlet Pimpernel musical by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton.

The songs James sings are "Roadkill Stew," "Frogs Go Pop," and "The Shaving Cream Song," all of which are courtesy of my brother's Boy Scout troop.

I made James founder of Zonko's and Lily a writer because we never find out their jobs in canon and it's good for the plot. Yurp. MANY THANKS TO MY BETA, KATIE (arrypotterfangirl21) FOR BEING BEYOND AWESOME AND GENERALLY HILARIOUS!


3. Chapter 3: In Which Snape Drives a Very, Very Hard Bargain by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (3709 words)
I still don't own Harry Potter or The Scarlet Pimpernel-- JK Rowling and Baroness Orczy do. And one of the two is dead at the moment. The song used was "Falcon In The Dive" from the Scarlet Pimpy musical by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton.

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG FROM THE MUSICAL. LISTEN TO IT NOWWWWW. SOMEHOOOOWWW. Terrence Mann sings it! He played Javert and Rum Tum Tugger and Beast from Beauty and the Beast and Frank N Furter and Bob on Dresden Files and stuff!

The 'baguette' thing is a brief reference to Smosh videos. Smosh is less than three. (Smosh < 3)

Also, I decided to make Snape small in this story because that's how I always imagine him. I'm aware that fanon always makes him tall, but I don't care. Fanon also gives Remus amber eyes, and I give him blue eyes.


4. Chapter 4: In Which Lily Gets, If Possible, Even More Irritated by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (3487 words)
References to Cats the musical, Smosh (as always), Beatles, and Discworld abound. I don't own them any more than I own Harry Potter, which, er, isn't at all.. The songs I used are "Into the Fire" (I LOVE THAT SONG!) and "When I Look At You" from The Scarlet Pimpernel, by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton.

No Snape in this chapter, but I promise the next couple chapters will be much more interesting and Snape-ful.


5. Chapter 5: In Which Dumbledore Doesn't Pull a Fast One by Schmerg_The_Impaler [ - ] (3526 words)
Snape angst in this chapter. Lily's conscience is named after my beta, harrypotterfangirl21, who is an all-around awesome person. I really, really apologize for using three exclamation marks in a row in this story, but it had to be done. I realize stories are often rejected for this. PLEASE don't. PLEASE.

Well, the songs I use in this story are "The Scarlet Pimpernel" (twisted and warped by me) and "Where's The Girl," by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton. The guy who sings "Where's the Girl" in the musical has the PERFECT voice for playing Snape if there was a Harry Potter musical. Terrence Mann is my favourite Broadway singer.