:( that was really sad, but you wrote really good.
hi! thanks for the consructive critism. I made a list of all the negatives and postives of my own characters. I think it helped (fingers crossed) and I'm going over the rest of the story again. I did realize that Alex was a little too . . . perfect. You hve great writing. I loved it!
FAntastic! It was kind of sad.. Through the words, it sounded as though Harry didnt want to be the one to save everyone else.. Great!
Another excellent story. I really liked the the combination of the song and the prose. They actually worked together in this case and reinforced teh point you wanted to make. I liked the fact that you made it centre on duty. Harry has a duty towards the wizarding world, one that is more important than his friends or his life. You conveyed that beautifully. I especially liked: He wouldn't have had to live with the pain, he wouldn't have had to live with the grief. The emptiness. Very powerful words and it is definetely understandable for Harry to think such thoughts. The only thing that slightly irked me was you use of the word pain. I did not always understood why you inserted it at certain moments while it worked teriffically at other moments. An example that did not work in my mind was: the pain was pounding in his chest. It was a bit confusing because you mention the word pain a lot while you also state that he is dark, empty and cold inside, deprived of any feeling. This is very contradicting. But besides that you wrote an excellent oneshot here that certainly painted Harry the way he was at the end of OotP and that reminded me of what that poor boy will have to deal with in the future. Great work.
great story...that song really added to the effect...i think a ton of songs relate to hp...i'll just be sitting there, listening to music, and then i'll realize how much it relates to harry...i think thats jkr's biggest talent; that she can relate to so many people and problems and things (and songs)...well, once again excellent story and great song to choose...lol, and sorry about the rambling... ~luv, Nicole ~R: 10
Author's Response: Rambling is fine ;) I know what you mean about just hearing a song and relating it to Harry Potter. Thanks for the great review, hon!
the song fit perfectly! this really illuminated Harry's grief towards everything going on, and it is really realistic.
Author's Response: Thanks, I thought the song fit perfectly, too - it's why I just HAD to write this ;)
Author's Response: ummm, thanks?