MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Love and Alchemy

Name: tilli (Signed) · Date: 02/18/17 0:30 · For: Personal Assistance
Oh my God. I want to read more. Even for the most unconventional pairing ever. It's beautiful. Your stories are changing shades towards darker. They keep me captivated. Regarding age difference Fandom is full of pairing of Hermione/Snape(pairing which I personally dislike, but few stories stand out) why hasn't age been an issue in those stories..

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I just finished writing in a review reply that maybe I'll write a sequel from Draco's pov to prove that yes, you can fall for someone hard and fast. I'm glad you don't mind the darker bits. LOL about Hermoine/Snape. Those fics were all rage at one time. I remember one where he was a vampire and her virgin blood transformed him back. It was actually well written, and I think one of the reasons the pairing worked was because they weren't relating as older man and younger woman but as people.

I'm going to start jotting down notes for a sequel. :)

Name: whichone (Signed) · Date: 02/17/17 20:36 · For: Personal Assistance

I hope I can copy and paste this out of a Pages document when I finish drafting this. So, starting with Chapter One because I recently reviewed something out of order, and thankfully, the writer took it without complaint.

So, I am probably going to start this on a line that you don't like. I'm attacking Lily, not your writing here. Lily is not "self-confident". She might indeed believe she is, and she sounds as though so buys it. That isn't self-confidence. That's privileged, self-righteous, little girl arrogance! You illustrate this well through your writing, and I am truly sorry I don't like your little girl, but she is what my grandmother would call a princess. As Ruth would say, "There is no time for a woman, a proper young woman, to be a princess." They don't exist in Lily's society, as it were, and if I were Ginny Weasley (and that's actually pretty funny because my proper name is close to hers), that girl would be getting a wakeup call. Who acts that way for three years after becoming an adult? Well, a lot of kids think they are that entitled.

This mindset probably means I am getting old. Whatever. I was raised by two Marines. You don't pull this shit Lily Luna pulled. My father .... man, this little girl. I dunno. HA! I'm glad I am not a character in this story. Cause ... yeah. The way she speaks to Draco in the beginning? That's an elder. Twice blessed military brat I might be, but I have NEVER opened cursed in front of an adult upon first meeting them. I mean, I can see way later on, with her growing comfortable with him. She reminded me of a schoolboy Draco Malfoy. (Sorry, Paige.)

Maybe I am getting old. But had she been my daughter, we'd be having a Come to Whatever moment right quick.

Okay. So, if you're not angry keep reading, my friend. Draco Malfoy? His characterization is spot on. That's really how I imagined him. One of the good parts about Cursed Child and the seventh book? Draco Malfoy isn't that pampered little boy anymore. He's a man, maybe a good man. And then his wife dies? And how did I forget that? Draco Malfoy suddenly has my sympathy because he's no longer a prick. He's a man he whose son is really, seriously cute with that personality. Scorpius made that play.

I initially thought that it was weird that Draco took an interest in alchemy. But you crafted that really well as an idea. The way he has a system within his chaos, but it's organized in his mind. I have a sister like that. I laughed at that, thank you. Researchers, a lot of researchers, are like that. I don't know how you picked that up, but you nailed it.

The transition, and I know this takes more than one day, seems a little rushed. I know it's like over a week or something, but it comes off as a fling. Maybe it this. Lily"s flighty, and. I am not the motherly type (as you know) but that scares me. It's not that she's paired with her father's ex-arch nemesis, it's that I cannot stop picturing Lily as a little girl. Ever seen the episode of "How I Met Your Mother" when Ted ends up with that little newscaster girl. Who is that? Ugh. Becky .... Becky! YES! Lily is Becky. Jeez. Poor Draco.

I like it. Please don't hate me. Poor Draco. Damn.


Author's Response:

I'm happy you like it and I don't hate you. LOL about the princess comment. I think Lily is very much the Potter Princess. Her parents, like many parents who have grown up poor (in Ginny's case) or had hard childhoods (like Harry) give their children what they didn't have, both materially and, in Lily's case, time to figure out what she wants to do with her life. The story starts with her parents and family pulling a life intervention on Lily, who stubbornly decides to find her own way without their help...and it takes her to Malfoy Manor and Draco Malfoy.

Lily saying BS to Draco(my mother would've said it's a vulgarity, not an expletive) is showing you that she sees herself as a 21yr old adult speaking to another adult. She doesn't care about his age. Think of all the famous and infamous people in the wizarding world she's grown up with. She's like a celebrity's child. She's been socializing with men of varying ages all her life. She's comfortable talking to Draco on an adult level. Her attraction to him is what has her blushing and Apparating when he pulls himself out of the pool. He's her friend's father and her family wouldn't be pleased to say the least.

If you didn't notice, it will become clear in the next part that Lily knows an awful lot about Draco. She's not only heard about him from her family and then Scorpius, but she's remembered what Scorpius said, and wondered about Draco. He's seen her pictures in the papers. They were curious about each other, and then they met, and curiosity became attraction.

Lily isn't the little girl on the train platform in the epilogue anymore.

You must login (register) to review.