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Reviews For Ersatz Excuses

Name: BrokenPromise (Signed) · Date: 04/21/16 17:09 · For: Ersatz Excuses
Hello again! I am a sucker for stories about minor characters, so when I saw this I just had to read it. Given that Orla is little more than a name in the book, I actually had a fairly different idea of what she looked like and what she was like. However, I really liked your Orla. The golden hair and Rapunzel similarity is a lovely idea (I always imagined her with darker hair) since her name can mean 'princess' in Irish Gaelic and is derived from 'Or' meaning 'gold'! You've also made her fierce and confident, and I think that's great! I thought that the brotherly teasing from Colin was sweet and I also really enjoyed the characterisation of Dennis' inner voice.
Although I do understand that the intent and feeling is very different between the two stories, I have to say that this story didn't feel as crafted and polished as Gasoline. There were a couple of phrases in this where I felt the word order or choice seemed a little jarring and disrupted the flow, but this is probably a just personal preference. Equally though, there were some phrases which I thought were wonderful, like "Orla Quirke was one strange girl, and he was one strange boy", "stupid, stupid tongue" and "string which she was cutting with the help of what seemed to be a very sharp knife".
You also used quite a lot of speech tags in this story (said, told, asked etc) and sometimes this can come across unwieldy, especially with more exotic ones like countered and retorted. However, I think that the way you broke the conversation up with snippets of Dennis' internal monologue really helped with this, as the speech tags didn’t feel intrusive or start to overshadow the actual conversation.
Finally, I loved the playful ending! Overall I thought that this story was light and imaginative. I'm so glad I saw it in the Most Recent list, and I look forward to reading more of your stories!

Author's Response: Oh my gods, I totally identity with you! I'm a sucker for minor characters' stories too. So you found Irish Gaelic connection? I never thought anybody would. Not really. I actually researched her name's origin before giving her a personality like "Rapunzel" in Dennis' head. Sorry for the speech tags. I just can't help it! I am really, really happy that you loved this. Thank you so much. : )

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/19/16 20:24 · For: Ersatz Excuses
Cute! I enjoyed this.

Author's Response: Thank you for enjoying this!

Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 04/16/16 16:14 · For: Ersatz Excuses
A lot more than half good.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 04/16/16 9:53 · For: Ersatz Excuses
I like this story. I envy that you can fit so much information into one short story. I also liked that brief look into the future.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for liking it! : )

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