MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: The computer is an enigma (Signed) · Date: 07/08/15 18:44 · For: Chapter 1
For some reason, I've always seen Astoria as brunette, even before Deathly Hallows came out. (The fact that Scorpius looked a lot like Draco I attributed to some magical, undying predisposition of the Malfoy family.) I also pictured her with a somewhat calm, quiet personality, but I like how you portray her here. She's cheerful and playful, but at the same time sober and understanding, which seems just like the kind of person Draco needs to lift his spirits.

Speaking of Draco, I like how you wrote him, too -- it seems like all his emotions have been burned out of him, which I can imagine happening, as the things that he went through are hardly the kind one gets over quickly. And yet, I can see him grapple with his attraction, like when he assures himself that he didn't make himself look presentable for Gemma Farley's funeral to impress Astoria. Sometimes, the simple narration style makes him seem a bit monotone, but overall the simplicity has a good effect. It places the focus on Draco's dialogues with Astoria, and gives subtle hints of how they might influence each other in the future. I especially liked this part:

"Corner? The half-blood?"

"The Ravenclaw who saved a first year."

"Yes, I heard about him. He's a half-blood."

Astoria narrowed her eyes. "He's the Ravenclaw who was tortured for freeing a little girl, an act of chivalry that melted my sister's icy heart."

"Ah. That Michael Corner. The Ravenclaw."

She gave him a pleased smile.

It had an appropriate amount of humor and really showed their personalities. It looks like Astoria will slowly get Draco's views to change.

I haven't read many Draco/Astoria fics, but this one made me appreciate their dynamic together. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I haven't read any Draco/Astoria fics either. I was one of those *cough*Draco/Ginny shippers*cough*cough* back in the day, so it took a while (years) for the Damn you, epilogue, for sinking my ship! to wear off (or transition through the stages of grief). Thank you for liking the way I wrote Draco. About Astoria's hair, it is interesting how we picture characters who haven't been described. No one's wrong and it adds colour to the Potterverse. :) Thanks again for the lovely review!

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 06/26/15 22:39 · For: Chapter 1
I wish I could be as bold as Astoria with the person I try to flirt with. i just don't have it in me:D I'm not seventeen or eighteen any more either so I would probably look silly being as obvious as Astoria. I loved the description of the funeral bouquet for Crabbe. She was giving him tribute but it also had an amazing double meaning. This story is sad but so sexy at the same time. I thought Scabior was cute by the way.

Author's Response: Scabior on the movie screen was very cute! I don't think his description in the book matched. :D I have a feeling that you could be every bit as bold in the right circumstance, and in an office where anyone could walk by is not it. Feel free to prove me wrong. ;)

Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 06/13/15 12:00 · For: Chapter 1
I would like to hear more about this relationship.

Author's Response: There are so many moments in their relationship that must have been full of tension and drama, I definitely have enough story ideas, so thank you!

You must login (register) to review.