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Name: dongbei (Signed) · Date: 05/14/17 0:13 · For: Honey-cakes
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Name: mr_argofoy (Signed) · Date: 11/01/16 15:52 · For: Transfiguration
Work is excellent. Each detail, each trifle is in detail described. To read work and to represent a picture not so difficult. To the author many thanks such work. And it is possible I will translate your work into Russian and will publish it in the project «––––– –––—––––»? With the indication of your work and the reference to you, of course. Thanks for the answer.

Author's Response: Thanks. Please feel free to do a Russian translation, that would be cool.


Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 04/23/16 18:01 · For: Transfiguration
Dad (again) - The last but one review was a corker.

Author's Response: Spam review. Looks like it has been dealt with now.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 04/23/16 13:40 · For: Transfiguration
This is a very satisfying ending to a story that was a pleasure to read. I can see this pair happy together now, with very fine furniture along with the fine wands! :)

Author's Response: Glad you liked the way it came out in the end, and thanks again for your earlier help and comments.


Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 04/22/16 8:33 · For: Transfiguration
Been missing this very original story. I rather like the end of this chapter.

Author's Response: This chapter did take some time to get right; good to know you enjoyed it.


Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 09/29/15 13:02 · For: Oedipus Tyrannos
Hermione seems so cranky, like she's one of those people who finds fault with everything. Her sister seems the opposite. I think Hermione might be the more interesting one though.

Author's Response: Yes, Simaetha is the sensible one. Her dress sense isn't as good as her sister's, though.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 09/29/15 11:53 · For: Oedipus Tyrannos
Apollo might reveal pieces of the future, but was it not still left to mortals to assemble them?

That sounds like a quote about writing! Inspiration is awesome, but stories are still left to mortals to assemble. I'm glad you found time to find your way to writing and posting this chapter.

Ollivander is so amusing, wanting to make sofas for the rich and famous instead of being a "small fish" wand maker. The fact that he told that to a friend whose father is a maker of fine wands makes me wonder if his unthinking honesty is going to get him into trouble one day. Preferably with Simaetha. :D Better a barefoot girl with ADD, eidetic memory and allergies (joking, Hermione only sniffed twice, but one of them was a dialogue tag that made me imagine her sniffing constantly as she spoke--which I should have noticed in beta mode, heh) than a high maintenance witch with boots lined with cat fur (which made me wonder how Ollivander knew at a glance that the fur was cat's fur. Was it orange? Tabby patterned?).

Although the beginning of your story establishes the time and setting brilliantly, I have to say that this chapter immerses the reader even more completely. It's like a film. The establishing shot draws you in, but then the story visually unfolds and either makes you feel like you're experiencing the story through the characters, or feel like you're part of a Greek chorus, observing and commenting on the action in your mind (or out loud, sometimes accompanied by throwing popcorn).

You bring readers into the story, and although the story path is unclear, readers of worth will rely on their author to reveal all in due time.

Here's hoping "due time" is sooner rather than later. ;)

Author's Response: Thanks - a big part of why I wrote this story is its unusual setting. By now you know how the pieces of Ollivander's future began to come together. Next chapter is finally submitted, so should be out soon.


Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 08/05/15 22:57 · For: Summoning
Wonderful. I was surprised by the appearance of the Egyptian wizard. So this is how Ollivander gets into the wand-making business. Can you make your own wand? Update soon please.

Author's Response: Chapter 5 is proving tricky (three characters with something important to say about themselves, plus Greek tragedy live on stage...). I know it's taking a while, but I promise it will appear.


Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 08/05/15 22:29 · For: The Wand of Orpheus
Oh my, what does he need a piglet for? I really like how that Elder wand story worked. I think Callias was flirting with Olivander.

Author's Response: You know where Ollivander is heading professionally, but where he's going romantically is still my secret, for the moment.


Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 08/05/15 21:48 · For: The Academy
Is an Alastor a dementor? I figured that was the problem--that Plato wasn't a wizard and that's why he seemed displeased with Ollivander.

Author's Response: Yes, Alastores (a nasty sort of ghost that ancient Greeks believed in) are identified with Dementors. They're also called Elasteroi, but I've gone with this variant of the name for reasons you can probably guess.


Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 08/05/15 21:16 · For: Honey-cakes
I didn't think I'd like this story but so far it's off to a good start. I'm so naive. Is Ollivander really a descendent of Pythagoras? I noticed you only have four chapters up. Do you update often?

Author's Response: Yes, Pythagoras was a wizard (among his other accomplishments) who lived a few generations before this story is set.


Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 07/07/15 14:40 · For: Summoning
Enjoying this very different story.

Author's Response: You're welcome.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 07/07/15 10:22 · For: Summoning
What? Moeris steals the Wand of Orpheus, casts an Unforgiveable Curse, and Callias doesn't explain why they're not running to the wizard authorities to report this? Are there no Auror counterparts in Athens? Why doesn't Ollivander think to ask? There's Muggle government, Muggle law enforcement, but not wizard?

I'm just being dramatic, I'm not really upset at how the chapter ended, although if I was Olli (I hope you don't mind me calling him Olli, if you do, tough--I mean, I'll keep it my head. ^_~) I'd be tempted to use a Summoning Spell on Callias's wand and ask, "How about I take yours and suggest you get Simaetha to make a new wand?"

OK, enough teasing about the ending. Your descriptions are stellar, as usual. You have a definite knack for immersing the reader into the setting and feeling like he or she is there in Athens, in a butcher's shop or atop the Acropolis.


Something new I've noticed this chapter is your very JKR-like use of dialogue tags. They clarify how something is said when it could be indignant instead of "hot desperation," but sometimes they repeat what's already conveyed by the dialogue, such as: “Maybe, but not today,” he temporised. and “I've seen it done once or twice,” Callias replied casually.


Just some things to consider. You've given readers loads of things to think about, (especially romantic sorts like me who think pushing a sister on a bloke you just met means there's something really wrong with that girl and Ollie is better off with Hermione of the remarkable eyes :D) and we'll be hoping chapter five posts soon!

Author's Response: Firstly, thanks for reading and reviewing. It's great to hear that I'm writing for someone besides myself, and even more fun that you're shipping my characters even as they hit the page. :) In the ancient world (as I'm imagining it) there is much less separation between the Muggle and wizarding communities than in modern times. All the Muggles believe in magic, even if they can't do it themselves, so naturally the Muggle laws and authorities cover magical behaviour too. (There is some interesting non-fictional source material to this effect in Daniel Ogden's book (Magic, witchcraft, and ghosts in the Greek and Roman worlds), on which I have relied.) Callias says something along these lines in Chapter 1, but your review made me realize I missed a trick by not mentioning it in this chapter too, so I have made some edits to the dialogue following Moeris' exit. As for Unforgiveable Curses: there aren't any, yet; nor is Azkaban yet built. Ancient Greece could be a rough place.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 07/03/15 19:19 · For: The Wand of Orpheus
My mother makes wands there, although I daresay they aren't as good as the ones made in this house. Was it a custom of the Greeks to run down their families to praise their hosts? All I could think of was, Ollie, Hermione might think the way you talk about your m“t“r is the way you'll talk about the woman in your life. Not a good start to a romance, if that's the way you're headed. I write romance, so I look for telling details and "remarkable eyes" is a more romantic description than "big brown eyes" even if you have him wondering if Simaetha was flirting with him.

The wand lore is intriguing, and I like Ollivander for knowing that he would use if for everything, not cautiously. I want to see what he does with a piglet. :)

Author's Response: Oops - that wasn't conscious intention on the author's part, but it actually is the kind of mistake that this Ollivander might make: so eager to flatter his host that he doesn't consider how he's making himself look. The contrasting brief descriptions of the sisters are intentional, though. You'll see more of them in Chapter 5, and perhaps be able to guess which of them, if either, might feature in Ollivander's future.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 07/03/15 19:06 · For: The Academy
“It's all just words, then, this philosophy?” Ollivander tried hard not to sound plaintive. “There's no proper magic taught here at all?”

“There's a kind of magic in words, too, you know. A wand isn't the only way to heal your friends, or harm your enemies.”


Very nicely phrased! Poor Ollivander. Plan A is out, now he's having to figure out a Plan B. Interesting that Ollivander didn't mention that the third assailant hadn't looked ghostly. He seems so self-confident most of the time.

I've noticed a few modern sounding words and phrases in the last chapter and this one. "Mind if I sit here", "Nice move" "Thanks" and "Let's get out of here." I'm not saying use stilted wording, but consider tweaking modern phrasing to sound more in keeping with your time period. "My thanks" perhaps, or "Let us take our leave."

You're making me hungry mentioning the bread and honey. Will see what they eat. ;)

Author's Response: I can't really claim credit for Callias' comment about the magic in words, as he's just paraphrasing Dumbledore. (Or maybe Dumbledore's quoting him; either way, JKR thought of it first.) As for modern-sounding language, I had a similar problem with one of my other stories on this site, which is set in 1519. In that case I settled for a vaguely antiquated phrasing that is still well short of authentic pre-Shakespearean English. But ancient Greece is so far removed from our own time that one really has to treat it as another culture entirely; the only help one can expect from the language itself is the occasional evocative word or phrase.


Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 07/03/15 18:51 · For: Honey-cakes
I love historical mysteries, (Lindsey Davis's Marcus Didius Falco, Steven Saylor's Gordianus the Finder, Ellis Peters's Brother Cadfael) so your story of the young Ollivander being followed by the mysterious figure in the cloak of foreign cut has hooked my interest. I love the contrast between the languid setting with the triremes dozing at anchor and Ollivander leaping ashore and heading for his destination at a brisk pace. The meeting at the wine shop was well done.

The only concrit I have is that Ollivander and Callias traded encyclopedia entry type monologues when telling each other about their ancestors. It came across as info dumps instead of a natural exchange like the ones at the end of the chapter when they interrupt each other "Well, yes" and "But that's what I'm doing, too!"

Just an observation. Going to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Guilty as charged, I'm afraid. If ever I get around to re-doing this chapter, making the honey-cake stories fit in to the dialogue better will be the first priority.


Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 04/22/15 23:23 · For: Honey-cakes
Hi, Geoff,
I am enjoying your story immensely, and I certainly should have not let so much time go by before reading chapters 2 and 3. Your background material makes this story immensely rich; I almost feel inspired to write something historical myself. All your characters come to life for me, and I can easily envision all the Grecian scenes. It is a pure joy, among all the travails of life, to spend a few minutes reading your story. I hope that further chapters will be coming soon!

Vicki

Author's Response: Thanks, Vicki. I did spend some time on background material for this one: the idea was to add the Potterverse to another culture where magic had rather different connotations. No need for a Statute of Secrecy here: everyone in the ancient world knew that magic was real, although it wasn't always respectable.


Name: Cinderella Angelina (Signed) · Date: 04/10/15 14:52 · For: The Wand of Orpheus
Very interesting! I'm enjoying the story so far. I like the glimpse into the past you're portraying.

Author's Response: Thanks! I can't truly promise historical authenticity, but I do my best.


Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 02/19/15 2:03 · For: Honey-cakes
Hi, Geoff. How nice to see another story from you. I presume that your young Ollivander is a distant ancestor of the Ollivander who sold Harry his wand. Interesting to see your use of the word 'mugloi'. I had always thought that 'Muggle' sounded derogatory, but 'mugloi' does sound as if it could be a Greek word, so it is more satisfying simply to think of 'Muggle' as derived from the Greek.

It will be fun to see a magical story played out against the sunny Mediterranean scenery instead of the darker, damper climes of northern Europe. I look forward to your subsequent chapters. Thanks for writing.
Vicki

Author's Response: Hi Vicki. Yes, I'm imagining an unbroken line of descent: 24 centuries' worth of Ollivanders. I'm afraid I didn't invent "Mugloi": the Ancient Greek translation of Philosopher's Stone (which I'm sadly unable to read) uses "Mugaloi", which the translator says means "field-mice". Hope you like the story; there's another chapter already in the queue.


Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 02/11/15 17:53 · For: Honey-cakes
Looks like a very enjoyable story.

Author's Response: Thanks, Dad. I'm unsure how big the potential readership is for this one, but I certainly had a lot of fun writing it.


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