My parents never took up camping when we were young. By the time I went camping for the first time I was already disgusted by it. I'm more the type that I'd rather sit in a dry, warm cabin and read.
I was shocked about the camping trip. I had flashbacks to the few unfortunate trips I've been on. I hate camping.
Is the Muggle Studies class perhaps going to play football? I always try to guess but I'm usually wrong. I think people mature over time and change. I'm not sure that Jules' business should be revealed to the "gang of four." It's none of their business.
Author's Response: A good guess, but sadly, no. I hope you do enjoy their little trip, though!
I forgot to read this chapter last time:D You know, those transition chapters are necessary. I'm wondering what the big prank will be and what's up with the Marauders' concern over Jules' appetite. I don't find it hard to believe that Jules has never heard that she's pretty. Sometimes girls just don't hear that for some reason.
You have to wonder how Lily and James actually did get together. I guess JKR left that for the rest of us to figure out and write about. I wonder what Julianna will think about the party.
Maybe Jules is maturing and the boys are lagging behind. They were such bullies.
Author's Response: Right now Julianna is having a tough time with maturing. A part of her wants things to stay the way they were, but a part of her (probably the more female side) is trying to cope with the changes. I hope you're enjoying her character as much as I am! Boys can be stupid. There will be times soon when the James seems remarkably more mature, but of course that won't last.
For some reason I hope Lily's date with Remus works out even though Julianna is going out with someone from another House. I hope they all have fun on their respective dates.
I really liked this chapter. The part with them playing soccer was funny. I think it showed people that being a Muggle requires certain talents too.
Good chapter. I didn't know that girls this young would be this "boy crazy" but it's hard for me to remember that far back:D The boys seemed a little mature for their age also. I enjoyed reading though.
I liked this first chapter. I have a couple of criticisms if you can even call them that. I didn't expect to hear Lily damning the "two boys" to Slytherin when she really didn't know what that was and then saying that just because the name sounded unpleasant. I also expected to see Severus. You didn't have to bring him in but I just expected to see him. Other than that I found this first chapter enjoyable. I'll read more.
Author's Response: Thanks for the input. After thinking it over, I have to agree with you on the Slytherin thing and I've changed it. Hope it sounds a lot more convincing.
Hi. I noticed that you still don't have any reviews, even after posting five chapters. I'd like to commend you for your perseverance. It's not easy to keep writing without getting any feedback.
There were a few elements of your story that I really liked. It was interesting to me that you made Lily afraid. I'm now interested to see why she's put into Gryffindor.
You also have some good dialog. I loved the line "What in the world is a Peeves?" Quite funny.
Now, there were a couple small details I'd like to address.
1. Julianna is not a very popular name. It is getting more popular, but it is still only the 147th most popular name (yeah, I looked it up...). You sort of addressed this by having Lily think it was unusual. However, it is about ten times as popular now as it was in 1960, when Lily and her classmates were born. So it would have been very unlikely for a Muggle baby to be given that name. Wizarding names tend to be old-fashioned (case in point: Neville), making it even more unlikely for Julianna to have her name. For future original characters, I would recommend looking up baby names from the year your character was born. Choosing a time-period appropriate name is a nice way of telling your readers, "Hey, I put a lot of effort into this story."
2. It bugged me a little bit that Lily hoped James and Sirius went to Slytherin without knowing what Slytherin was. Better to have her get something wrong about the wizarding world in her mutterings. Like she hopes they grow warts everywhere or turn green. I don't know, something besides going to Slytherin.
3. I didn't realize it until just now, but where is Snape? They were childhood friends, and he told her quite a bit about the wizarding world. No wonder this seems off to me. If they aren't friends in your story, you should probably list this as AU.
You're doing pretty well with your dialog and descriptions. Just watch out for the details. Good luck. Keep writing.
Author's Response: 1) I hope to address Julianna's unusual name in the future, but I do realize it's not very common. I have tried to make all my other OC's have much more common names, though. 2) I do agree with this and I have switched this. 3) I've never been very fond of Snape, at least not while he attended Hogwarts. I'm still coming to terms with him at the end of DH. But in my end notes I clarified that Lily not knowing him is the only non-canon element to their relationship. She is friends with him later. I hope this cleared things up!