Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 05/26/14 1:32
Chapter: A Revolutionary Accident

Hi, William,
It’s always a treat to see a new story by you; they are always so imaginative. I enjoyed this clever link of the wizarding world to the forever-unknown detail of who fired the first shot at Lexington; now we finally know the answer. Were you studying American Revolutionary history for some other purpose and then saw the possible connection?
As a story, this one is pretty short, only 870 words, but it tells the whole tale succinctly, with no wasted words, and the action moves along at a good trot. I had to read it over twice to understand that you were switching back and forth between two scenes, the rooming house where Jack Potter lived and the Lexington Green where the Battle of Lexington took place. Inserting a string of asterisks at the two major scene-change locations would have been helpful for me. But I figured it out quickly enough anyway.
Too bad that Jack Potter’s adventurous life was cut short at an early age. I presume that he was a distant relative of Harry on a collateral line that emigrated to the colonies.
As for the spelling of the Imperius Curse, we can say that the third time’s the charm. Neither Imperious nor Imperuse but Imperius.
Thanks for writing.
Vicki

Author's Response: I was browsing Wikipedia, ran across the article on this incident, and suddenly had the idea. That is what I had in mind for Jack. You're right about the scene changes, I suppose I should have denoted it better. Also, to answer one other question, one of the other wizards in the colonies came and removed his body just after the regulars had continued toward Concord. His wand, if found, would have looked like a random stick.

Reviewer: Dad
Date: 05/25/14 7:50
Chapter: A Revolutionary Accident

Different. Not the usual Harry Potter universe.

Reviewer: Wenlock
Date: 05/24/14 11:16
Chapter: A Revolutionary Accident

So that was the shot heard 'round the world? Nice. I like it. It made me smile.
FYI, I noticed one error - when he's talking about placing the commander under the Imperious Curse, it should be "we'll just Imperuse the regulars' commander."

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES