Reviewer: Dad
Date: 01/05/14 17:36
Chapter: Chapter 1

To be honest, I found that rather depressing.

Author's Response: Yes, it was depressing. I really tend towards that mood, don't I? Thanks for reading! ~Nagini

Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 01/02/14 15:05
Chapter: Chapter 1

This is a nice story, Nagini. Your nameless candy store clerk is an interesting character. You tell us a lot about him in a short while. He is astute enough to pick up on Lily’s faint hint that all is not well at home, and reasonable enough not to jump (conveniently) to the conclusion that she was Muggle-born like him. Her remark merely sets him to reflecting on his own childhood experience. That is realistic and believable.

I like the fact that the store clerk is just drinking butter beer, not getting roaring drunk on fire whiskey. I like that you depict him as thoughtful and introspective. You leave your store clerk at a mental crossroads Can he follow Lily’s example and seek a more optimistic outlook, even given his unhappy childhood? Can he try giving up the drink, to see if that step might improve his life? I sense a hopefulness for this character; it is not too late to change and improve, even if he doesn’t see that quite yet.

This story is a good example of how little things we do or say (as in the case of Lily Evans) can make a significant difference to someone else, often completely unrecognized by us.

Author's Response: Thank you, Vicki! Your support makes me want to write so much more! :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
Molly Weasley's Apple Dumplings by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Molly has studied history and knows the old stories, but she also knows what...
Early, Early Spring: Professor Sinistra Reflects by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
I didn't know much about Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, until...
FEATURED
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.
CATEGORIES