Reviewer: Dad
Date: 01/05/14 17:36
Chapter: Chapter 1

To be honest, I found that rather depressing.

Author's Response: Yes, it was depressing. I really tend towards that mood, don't I? Thanks for reading! ~Nagini

Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 01/02/14 15:05
Chapter: Chapter 1

This is a nice story, Nagini. Your nameless candy store clerk is an interesting character. You tell us a lot about him in a short while. He is astute enough to pick up on Lily’s faint hint that all is not well at home, and reasonable enough not to jump (conveniently) to the conclusion that she was Muggle-born like him. Her remark merely sets him to reflecting on his own childhood experience. That is realistic and believable.

I like the fact that the store clerk is just drinking butter beer, not getting roaring drunk on fire whiskey. I like that you depict him as thoughtful and introspective. You leave your store clerk at a mental crossroads Can he follow Lily’s example and seek a more optimistic outlook, even given his unhappy childhood? Can he try giving up the drink, to see if that step might improve his life? I sense a hopefulness for this character; it is not too late to change and improve, even if he doesn’t see that quite yet.

This story is a good example of how little things we do or say (as in the case of Lily Evans) can make a significant difference to someone else, often completely unrecognized by us.

Author's Response: Thank you, Vicki! Your support makes me want to write so much more! :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Friends and Foes by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
It took Harry and his friends years to discover who killed Colin Creevey. Ginny...
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst. Nominated...
CATEGORIES