To be honest, I found that rather depressing.
Author's Response: Yes, it was depressing. I really tend towards that mood, don't I? Thanks for reading! ~Nagini
This is a nice story, Nagini. Your nameless candy store clerk is an interesting character. You tell us a lot about him in a short while. He is astute enough to pick up on Lily’s faint hint that all is not well at home, and reasonable enough not to jump (conveniently) to the conclusion that she was Muggle-born like him. Her remark merely sets him to reflecting on his own childhood experience. That is realistic and believable.
I like the fact that the store clerk is just drinking butter beer, not getting roaring drunk on fire whiskey. I like that you depict him as thoughtful and introspective. You leave your store clerk at a mental crossroads Can he follow Lily’s example and seek a more optimistic outlook, even given his unhappy childhood? Can he try giving up the drink, to see if that step might improve his life? I sense a hopefulness for this character; it is not too late to change and improve, even if he doesn’t see that quite yet.
This story is a good example of how little things we do or say (as in the case of Lily Evans) can make a significant difference to someone else, often completely unrecognized by us.
Author's Response: Thank you, Vicki! Your support makes me want to write so much more! :)