Reviews For Free
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 12/30/13 13:53
Chapter: Free

Sorry it's taken me so long to review this, Bine. It's a lovely poem capturing both the despair of Azkaban and Sirius's relief at being free.

I love the repetition of 'I swim' which really aids both the flow of the poem and also Sirius's escape as Padfoot paddles to the shore.

The only things I'd quibble are

Harry, I shall see you soon.

I'd change the 'I shall' to 'I'll' because I think it scans a little better. The only other thing is the exclamation mark at the end of 'Sea' which I'm not sure is necessary, but that's a personal preference.

I like the way you've crept into the mind not just of Sirius, but Padfoot. There's a distinct shift in mindset which is very clever. Well done.

~Carole~

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
M.I.T.: Entente Cordial by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
A Squib's Journey by ntoforhp 6th-7th Years
Jeffery Potter always had sensed he was somehow different from his playmates...
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES