This poem sums up Bellatrix perfectly. I really love the conflicting decisions she makes in her feelings- 'everything feels fake, feels wrong, feels right'. And 'hypocrite all out of lies'- that was fantastic. It's like Bellatrix knows she's lying about everything, but just doesn't care. Who's she talking to, I wonder. Is it Rodolphus, or maybe Voldemort? Great job, anyway.
Hello! I really am impressed by your meter, especially in the second stanza. :) I also love your fourth line- "a cross on the heart, and a heart full of ice."
I wonder why you broke your rhyme scheme at the end, but it still works, since "paradise" has the same vowel sound as "side" and "guide," making it a half-rhyme, and it really didn't detract from the over all poem. I am curious, though, as to why you chose to do that. Your rhyme scheme worked as AABBCCDDEE-and then it stopped for your last two lines. For me, I could put some symbolism into it and say that Bellatrix is twisted and mad, and therefore, the ending breaking the rhyme pattern shows that. ;) Okay, no need for me to go off on some wild analysis, here.
Nice job! I hope to see more. :) In case you didn't know, I love poetry (my author page will reflect that), and I always look forward to seeing another poet's work!
Welcome to the fansite! ~Nagini Riddle
Very interesting outlook on Bellatrix. The very fact that anyone can find her alluring is odd, but not unwelcome. I noticed that the rhyme pattern is inconsistant. Is this intentional, or just how it fell into place?
It has a sense of urgency, of importance, that whoever is trying to get to Bellatrix can't seem to wait. (That may just be my interpretation though)
The second stanza, it's like the speaker understands that Bellatrix is far from safe, but ignores this fact. Nay, it seems the speaker embraces it, and increases the attraction to Bellatrix. That this "nightmare path" is "just another kind of paradise".
Very unique concept, and I hope you do more like this!
Author's Response: Thank you! :) It just seemed to fall into place that way, and sometimes preserving rhyme leads to more inconsistencies than sticking with the story you want to tell. You have very unique insight. I adore thee.