(Signed) · Date:
04/18/14 16:48 · For:
cuz baby you're a fiiiiiiiirework
This is Vicki (the Oregonian) of Slytherin House, here to say that it’s a boom-hiss shame that no one has written a review for this cute little poem.
I don’t know if it fits the definition of a double dactyl precisely, since the six-syllable word is typically found in line seven of each eight-line group, but it’s great fun anyway. I love the phrase “Toad-slash-Inquisitor’s guts-haters muttering…”, a delightful compaction of the concept: “those who hate the guts of the Toad/Inquisitor are muttering…”
I’m also pleased by the frequent appearance of words ending in “…utter”: splutters, sputtering, nutter, buttered, clutter, muttering. Maybe you found some of them in a rhyming dictionary, but they all fit into the thought of the poem just fine. (Sometimes we see a word used for the rhyme when it doesn’t really fit the thought of the poem, but no problems here!) I think that in a double dactyl, you are required to rhyme only the final words of the verses, sounds-crowned and around-abounds, but you threw in a whole lot more.
And I liked that the first three verses were all about Umbridge (though in language revealing Fred’s and George’s point of view: “ministry nutter”) and the last verse was about Fred and George, expressing their emotion perfectly: “What bloody glorious chaos abounds.”
In order for the word “antipathetically” to be six syllables, one must elide the syllable “al” and pronounce it “antipathetic-ly”, which is fine by me, since the Pacific Northwest accent (my daughter knows all about this; I didn’t realize that not everyone pronounces it thus) elides syllables anyway, changing “victory” to “vict-ry”, and so on. (Readers sometimes chide me for assuming that they will read my poems with a Pacific Northwest accent, and they tell me my meter is wrong, and I say “What?”)
As a closing thought, something that I have noticed about your poetry is that you write in a wide variety of styles, so my hat is off to you for that. It is a pleasure to read your works.
Author's Response: Oh, this was a great prompt. I had a few -utter words I really liked (especially "ministry nutter" and "ash-buttered cardigan," and then decided to go all out and sprinkle them everywhere they'd fit. The rules for these poems were quite constricting, so it took a long time to make everything sound just right, but I was pleased with the final piece. It's such a cheeky little poem. :D Thanks again for your lovely review!