Reviews For Unspeakable
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 05/14/13 15:43
Chapter: Unspeakable

Unusual subject here, I really enjoyed reading this poem which appeared to be from the perspective of the watcher as this happened, rather than each participant. So it made me think very much of Harry because he's an observer of the attack rather than the actual attacker (despite being inside Nagini at the time). I love the phrase 'sweet tainted air' which is a great foreshadowing of what is about to happen to poor Arthur.

I'd like to know why you chose the words 'diamond tail'. It's an unusual image, and I wasn't sure if you were referring to shape, shine and clarity, or hardness.

I would question the repetition of the word 'slithering' because you used in in the second and the last verse. Whilst it's a great word for a snake, I don;t think the repetition works here, although I'm scratching my head to think of something else that fits.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you, Carole! I didn't even notice that I used "slithering" twice. Whoops! As for the "diamond tail," I used that description because I always thought that JKR described Nagini that way- with a diamond patterned tail. The syllables didn't fit, so I shortened it to diamond. Since diamonds are rather sharp, it can give that kind of image of a slashing tail. And also, it could be shaped that way, and be rather pretty... Although Nagini was described as having an ugly triangular head. Anyways, thank you again for your review. I'm glad you liked the poem. :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
A Ship to Wreck by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
And good God, under starry skies we are lostAnd into the breach we got tossedAnd...
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
FEATURED
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...
CATEGORIES