Reviews For Unspeakable
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 05/14/13 15:43
Chapter: Unspeakable

Unusual subject here, I really enjoyed reading this poem which appeared to be from the perspective of the watcher as this happened, rather than each participant. So it made me think very much of Harry because he's an observer of the attack rather than the actual attacker (despite being inside Nagini at the time). I love the phrase 'sweet tainted air' which is a great foreshadowing of what is about to happen to poor Arthur.

I'd like to know why you chose the words 'diamond tail'. It's an unusual image, and I wasn't sure if you were referring to shape, shine and clarity, or hardness.

I would question the repetition of the word 'slithering' because you used in in the second and the last verse. Whilst it's a great word for a snake, I don;t think the repetition works here, although I'm scratching my head to think of something else that fits.


Author's Response: Thank you, Carole! I didn't even notice that I used "slithering" twice. Whoops! As for the "diamond tail," I used that description because I always thought that JKR described Nagini that way- with a diamond patterned tail. The syllables didn't fit, so I shortened it to diamond. Since diamonds are rather sharp, it can give that kind of image of a slashing tail. And also, it could be shaped that way, and be rather pretty... Although Nagini was described as having an ugly triangular head. Anyways, thank you again for your review. I'm glad you liked the poem. :)

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Comics the Green Knight works alone to uncover the truth. Scorpius...
Flowers in Winter by silverfirelizard53 6th-7th Years
She was a girl of exceptional talent and a kind heart, but she had been born...
Under the Southern Cross by FloreatCastellum 1st-2nd Years
Rolf Scamander has ventured to a remote archipelago to study a rare and exotic...
Today Will Be Better, I Swear! by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
'I'm going to miss you, Mr Ollivander,' said Luna, approaching the old man.'And...
Honestly by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seven months after leaving Hogwarts, James Potter is fighting for the Order...